By anonymous - 14/03/2010 05:04 - Canada
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You know what? Screw ppl like you that say OP is being too materialistic and not valuing his love. Sure the engagement ring was a originally a marketing ploy to sell more diamonds but hey, it is how it is. OP, I'm sorry your boyfriend is too cheap to spend more than $200 on something you will have with you for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. To the people that say the love is enough: It is. If somebody genuinely can't afford more than $200, then it's enough. Heck, if they can't afford ANY ring, the love is more than enough. However, if you CAN afford to save for a few months and to buy a ring - there are some very nice ones in the $1000-2000 range - then you are just being a cheapstake. It seems like the latter is the case with the OP. Otherwise she wouldn't have posted this FML.
I didn't say that. Read what I wrote. Screw dumbasses that read words that aren't there. Marriage IS about love. Some couples save themselves that money for future, real expensives and sometimes buy the ring when they're alread married and financially stable. ----The comment i wrote this to vanished and mine got posted in the wrong place.
My best friend got engaged with a ring from a gumball machine. Another got engaged with ring pops. It's not about how much you spend on a ring-- sure it's nice to get one, but price isn't everything, but the ring you keep with you the "rest of your life" (see: marriage) is the wedding band. THAT is the important ring.
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Plus, it seems like the boyfriend didn't put in much effort at all. C'mon, if any man really wanted to, they could easily find out ring size with a little bit of effort. And then, he can buy a ring without his fiancee ever finding out how much it cost. Isn't that nice how that works out? I'm surprised about all the people saying "At least he wants to marry you." If he can't put in a decent effort into a proposal which is only ONE moment, what the heck makes anyone think he'll put in decent effort into the entire lifetime of marriage? This isn't to say that "decent effort" only means expensive rings, etc. It doesn't. But put SOME effort into it, whether it be a surprise with a gag ring, or an extravagant dinner. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as there is some effort involved.
I doubt she's offended about the sum itself - $200 dollars. It's that a) he couldn't be bothered to find one himself. So he told her to get whichever one SHE liked and he'd buy it. Sounds nice right? Then he adds the catch that it can't be more than $200. Which sucks. Because for all you know, she wasn't even looking at the prices. She might have just randomly picked out some rings that she liked at the store, but HE was the only that said they were all too expensive. And it isn't unlikely that they /were/ expensive but, if he REALLY wanted to, he could've taken the ring she liked and simply scaled back on the carat size to save money. Again, not that hard. I think the bigger FML here is the complete lack of effort, not the $200 dollars. Although, outright refusing to spend more than $200 dollars is also somewhat of an FML.
Oh please what a nonsense you don't wear your engagement ring your entire life just until you marry and then you'll swich rings. Just because she wants to be a show off doesn't mean the boyfriend has to pay for it, he's not getting a ring too you know. And how do you know he actually has enough money for it? Maybe he owns 1000 dollars and because his girlfriend is such a needy bitch he is willing to spend 200 dollars but nothing more. Whatever is the case YDI OP because you're greedy and don't even appreciate the gesture he lets you choose because he might have been afraid he bought a ring that wouldn't satisfy because you thought it was ugly or something
I agree with Etherial. Put some thought into it However, some women, depending on personality, prefer to choose their own rings (I am not one of these, but a friend of mine is; after all, it is something she will wear forever). PS-- I'm going out on a limb and assuming you two are fairly young. Weddings and honeymoons are expensive. So is life. Do you earn enough to support him (bc it sounds like he may be struggling)? If not, consider getting a little more settled before tying the knot.
You know, this is why people shouldn't fucking bother to reply to the first comment just to get to the top. Everyone's going 'stop calling her a materialitic bitch!' (which she is btw, more on that later) despite the fact that their comments now come up before everyone who's said that. Anyway, F your boyfriend's life OP. He proposes to you and lets you choose a ring, and you come on here bitching. Love to see his reaction to that... WAAH, my boyfriend and I are gonna get married, but I don't give a shit because my ring won't be disgustingly expensive! WAAH, my boyfriend's a jerk! FML!
I am truly tired of all these spoiled brat FMLs. You know what, OP? If you are so pissed about his ring budget, leave him for the next girl. You'll be back in a couple of years posting about their great relationship anyway. It does sound like he made minimal effort but that isn't OP's problem. She would've been satisfied with a bloke who just throws money at her without any concern for her. In case you didn't know, Ethereal, that is the epitome of a materialistic bitch.
OP, You sound pretty superficial. For the record, I would never let someone spend $200 on an engagement ring for me (Provided that we weren't both super rich). $200 is way too much, if someone offered I would think it was so sweet but would persuade him to buy me a nice $30 or $40 one. You sound like you are one of those people who get married for the wedding and honeymoon, not the marriage. You should be so greatful that someone was willing to spend $200 on something so trivial for you.
ok here's what I think: I kinda feel bad for OP because, I, have always dreamed about my wedding and how my boyfriend will propose. I would be upset if my bf didn't know enough about me to pick out his own ring but... YDI because you are being so bitchy about it! I think a better FML is this "my soon to be fiancé doesn't know enough about me to pick out my ring. FML"
She's a bitch, for all we know he cant afford any more than 200$ so thats why he said that. She is having a fit because her boyfriend wont spend more than he is able to and for all you saying 'shes offended by lack of effort thats why its an fml' bullshit she's pissed because she thinks she deserves better than 200$. Well if thats how she thinks then maybe she should take his 200 and cover the rest herself, bitch.
hey OP let me tell you something you materialistic chump. there are amazing looking real diamond and gold wedding rings at walmart that cost $200 and less. you need to get punched in the face. he's proposing to you how is that bad? and you know I hope he cancels the marriage because it would be torture for him to be with such a spoiled brat.
#9 By the time he saves up for the engagement ring, he'll have to worry about things for the wedding and the wedding itself. And then a wedding ring and honeymoon. Some people are having hard times right now. He is probably thinking for the future. If he spends a lot now then he will have a harder time working the money off. Then there's a house and bills... Money goes a long way.
#134. There are plenty of nice rings for under $50. Of course they don't have diamonds, but I don't think I would ever feel morally right in buying or recieving diamonds. I'm not some preachy do gooder, i just feel guilty about almost everything. My sisters fiance bought her a nice ring for $40. I'm pretty sure she was always jiffed about it but I liked it.
shut up bitch. OP he cab always go buy a better one when he actually has money, people do it all the time, sometimes even when it's unnecessary. take for instance my 10th grade world history ap teacher. after his wife saw the engagement ring their waitress had on her finger, she made him buy one just like it. so from around $600 to $1000. god, some women are such fucks when it comes to jewelery
The ones you get on cakes around Halloween or Valentines day can be super cute - and all for less than £1! Who needs diamonds when you can have plastic spiders... I do think the OP sounds rather superficial. Having $200 to spend on a ring sounds WAY more than enough. You should think yourself lucky you have that kinda money being spent on you. At the end of the day, it's only a ring. If you think your life is screwed because you can't get some hideous flashy crap, perhaps you're not ready for marriage.
I think she is materialistic. She's expecting him to spend a large sum of money, when he probabaly doesn't. If he does and he's just being cheap then I would understand, but it's stupid to expect someone to buy you a giant rock. There's too little info to tell, so for now YDI. Bitch. しね。
Ummm... no. Maybe she is a little materialistic, maybe he's cheap, but come on, he said 'I want to marry you, but you're going to have to find the ring you like, and I can only spend $200 on it'? If he's the one that's doing the proposing, he could have put more effort into it- because it's not about the money, it's about the gesture, and this FML leaves me thinking that he more or less just stated it. If he's unwilling to put effort into that moment, and make her do most of the work for something that's his idea, than that partnership is hopelessly flawed, as he'll being doing that to her for the rest of their lives. I mean, seriously, who cares about the status of 'married'? What's even the point of getting married if it isn't an equal partnership? I hope she doesn't marry him, because as a marriage proposal, that's pretty pathetic and kind of disrespectful, as he's clearly walking all over her with no consideration about how she feels about it. And, really, she probably doesn't care about the ring, but this is FML, so she mentioned it.
You are so wrong. He's cheap and lazy. It takes zero effort to figure out a girl's ring size. It requires a minimal amount of attention to recognize a woman's taste in jewelry. How difficult is it to eat rice & beans until you've saved enough scratch to buy a symbol to be proud of? You see, it's not the price tag she's concerned with. It's the thought and effort involved; and a $200 ring that she goes out to pick out herself is the result of a really crappy thought. I wanted to get my girlfriend a ring with her favorite stone (amethyst) on it recently. She never told me her favorite stone directly, I gleaned it from her reaction at a gem store I took her to. She once off-handledly mentioned liking silver jewelry. I measured one of the rings she wears from time to time to get her size. Bam! $50 - got a silver band size 7 with designs similar to things she already wears and a piece of amethyst on top. It's one of the cheapest gifts I've ever given her but the thought I put into it makes it her favorite piece of jewelry.
Exactly. I don't understand how some women can actually get upset that their boyfriends aren't spending "enough" on their ring. I mean, honestly the only time someone gets an expensive ring is in the movies or if their rich. Most guys can't afford an expensive ring, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't get married. I'd be happy if he still wants to marry you after your pettiness OP.
$200 is way more than you should spend on a ring anyway. YDI for valuing the ring over the love!
I don't think it's really an fml... my husband never really proposed but I got a promise ring after we had been together for 4 months... we got married after we'd been together for 2 1/2 years... I did eventually get a new ring that is bigger and prettier, 10 months after we'd been married. but my point is you can get a pretty ring for around 200$ and yes he's letting her pick the ring out, but he's probably scared he will pick something she won't like, at least he said pick it out so I can propose!
Isn't the fact that he loves you enough to want to spend the rest of his life with you enough? YDI for being too materialistic.
@127: Again, since when does money equal love? Since when do the two honestly have any correlation? You sound like the type of person who, if I spent fifty bucks and gave you a ring, you'd get mad at me and dump me. Never mind that I made the damned thing by hand. People like you are the reason I choose intelligent girls.
I agree that she sounds materialistic on the surface, but maybe this is a pattern with him. Living with a true tightwad sucks ass. I was engaged to a guy who refused to spend more than $20k on a home and it was not because of financial strain. That doesn't even buy you a decent trailer! I'm sorry, but I didn't want to live my life and raise my family in a shack just for the hell of it. Yes, I broke up with him - also b/c I knew if I married him I would never leave this town, even to travel. It would be the shack and only the shack forever. So, maybe she is a materialistic bitch, but maybe she is venting a small part of a much larger problem. My MIL struggles to pay the bills while my FIL squirrels all of paycheck away. He probably has over a million, but they live like paupers. It is ridiculous. If the ring is any indication of this kind of future for her, she has my sympathy. Money isn't everything, but neither is love. Quality of life and compatibility count for a lot. BTW, when I did get married, the dress I chose cost less than $250 - my husband's suit cost more than my gown. We live in a modest ranch, but it isn't falling apart!
Maybe the OP is pissed because her fiance has no problem spending a lot of money on himself, but wont get an expensive ring for her? A girl I knew in high school got proposed to at 20. Her fiance spent $30 on the ring but $500 on a new xbox 360 for himself and a bunch of new games. Then she has a right to be pissed.
EX-FREAKING-ACTLY! what if he's wants to spend a shit-ton of money on a beautiful wedding and dress and not a dinky little ring that will only hold real significance until the actual wedding ring is given, what is the fucking point of putting your heart and soul into an engagement ring when you still have the wedding, the dress, and the wedding RING to worry about!?
$200 sounds like a lot. Who cares anyway? If he expected you to get him a $200 gift to celebrate your engagement, you'd probably be outraged.
Wow...another ungrateful bitch. At least he is buying you A ring...If I were him I would dump your ungrateful ass! If you think he is so cheap and that money grows on trees then why dont you go buy an expensive ring...
YDI for wanting an engagment ring that's mote than $200. I mean soon your gonna get a weding one and not wear the other one again… I mean really. my dad got my mom a plastic gag ring for their engangement
You say 'traditionally', you mean, in the past 30-40 years or so since jewellers, card makers, florists etc decided that weddings have to be the most expensive chore ever, right? To all those who are working out extremely convoluted scenarios in which the OP turns out not to be a selfish cow, she says 'ONLY PROBLEM', which means the lack of preparation, and asking her to choose a ring = NOT a problem. A ring is just a stupid lump of metal and rock on your finger, which yeah, if it's under $200 could make (dumb) friends sneer, but it doesn't matter a shit. Remember all those celebrity couples with expensive rocks that turned out sooooo well? Like JLo and Ben Affleck, Tiger Woods? Oh, and if you get over your bitch-fit OP, you can get absolutely beautiful antique rings for under $200 which will ooze clas, and hopefully hide the fact from yours friends that you're stuck up and entitled.