Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting on one knee,... - FML

By amelie - 9/12/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting on one knee, he farted. FML

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Proactive

Understandable

Compassion

By ohmigodimchokin - 19/11/2009 00:19 - United States

Today, I was sitting at lunch and started choking on a chip. I couldn't breathe and nobody tried to help me. Having to take matters into my own hands, I reached for a juice box that belonged to someone sitting next to me. After I could breathe again, they informed me that they had mono. FML

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By _philliesfan - 14/9/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I was prioritizing my extreme amount of homework. I read over the front page of my psychology paper seeing that it was pretty easy questions, I decided to do it last. Little did I know there was a 8 page essay on the back of the page. It's 12:19 am. FML

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By lions214 - 11/1/2012 01:40 - United States

Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML

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By Person - 11/11/2016 02:04

Today, my cousin invited me to an event that would be on Saturday night. The first thing I did after she texted me, was ask my mom if I could go. I'm 20. FML

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By RaYan - 13/10/2008 08:22

Today, I thought it was yesterday, I went to school for nothing. FML

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By yeetyeet - 9/3/2019 22:00 - United States - Whitehall

Today, we were taking a bio quiz and I understood the subject, so the people sitting behind me asked me to help them out. Being a kind fellow classmate, I did. When the teacher got suspicious, she asked the class, "How are all of you getting the same answers?" everyone pointed directly at me. FML

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By rick - 2/12/2013 21:15 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I held the door for an elderly woman. As she walked through, she looked at me and told me I was a very handsome man and that I should meet her grandson. The woman was my grandmother, and yes, I'm straight. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/2/2010 11:11 - Norway

Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/9/2015 05:38 - Canada - Surrey

Today, the girl I've gone on two dates with showed up at my house with several boxes of her stuff, expecting to move in. FML

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By - 27/1/2017 02:00

Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML

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By docwinters - 27/5/2013 12:39 - Australia - Bathurst

Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML

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By Username - 12/3/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

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By Tori - 30/12/2017 19:00

Today, I got news that I had "delighted a customer" so I looked at the review online. It says, "The fat girl up front was nice." FML

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By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 00:30 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/11/2009 11:44 - United States

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

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By aianmoo16 - 1/5/2016 21:52 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was at a mini arcade and accidentally put a hundred dollar bill through the quarter machine. FML

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By what sex life? - 2/8/2016 06:26 - United States - Nashville

Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML

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By urmommmm - 22/8/2009 16:25 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML

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By Mr.Hoof-In-Mouth - 13/8/2017 13:00

Today, I was talking to a customer needing IT help. I make small talk about how my birthday is on the same day the Boy Scouts were formed, and I tell the customer I am sure something interesting happened on his birthday. He gets quiet, then gives his birthday. September11th. Cue the long silence. FML

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By Username - 3/8/2011 03:33 - United States

Today, I quit smoking. It seems that when you don't smoke for almost 24 hours, your sense of smell comes back. I then noticed how disgusting my apartment smells. Great. FML

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By bleh - 23/11/2009 22:29 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for 6 weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in 2 weeks. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/2/2014 21:44 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had to give a sexual harassment seminar to my department. Someone put in a complaint that my example made them feel uncomfortable. FML

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By onlychild - 12/4/2014 06:22 - United States

Today, my sister is working on her graduation speech. She gives her thanks to one friend for helping support her through school, like, "The sister I never had". FML

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By ruhrohraggy - 28/7/2019 16:00

Today, I got a haircut. I wanted three inches cut off. When the lady finished, she had cut off everything but three inches of my hair. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/7/2020 17:01

Abuse

Today, I was taking Zoom classes. We live in a one-bedroom apartment, which means I could hear my mom and dad fighting. I didn't notice that my mic wasn't muted. Everyone in my class now thinks that CPS needs to be called to my house. FML

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By wtfisgoingon - 28/4/2013 10:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

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By Stupid - 22/12/2014 07:45 - Australia - Bellerive

Today, I waited thirty minutes for a bus that stopped running three weeks ago. FML

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By blahblah493 - 26/5/2011 04:15 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/11/2012 17:01 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML

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By rolypoly - 5/3/2014 12:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

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By sciencenat - 14/1/2016 06:36 - France - V?lizy-villacoublay

Today, as a natural science teacher, I was drawing a uterus on the class chalkboard. One of my students started messing around and being noisy, so I shouted, "Be quiet and check out my uterus!" FML

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By Anonymous - 29/8/2013 19:33 - United States - Little Rock

Today, after a long couple of months working non-stop, I finally got someone to cover my shift. Turns out she was joking, and when I didn't show up for work, I had been fired. FML

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By justgreat - 28/9/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML

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By ohgosh... - 18/11/2014 03:10 - United States - Fenton

Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML

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By Anonymous - 26/7/2018 01:30

Today, while bringing my baby an early-morning bottle, I tripped over a ball and fell into the glass coffee table, smashing it and cutting myself pretty badly. My husband slept through the whole thing, but the neighbors came by to tell me to keep it down. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/6/2010 09:18 - United States

Today, I waited in line at a drive-through behind a man for ten minutes. I got out of my car, cursed at him, and then asked him to give me one good reason why it would take that long to order. The man slowly explained to me that he had a stutter. FML

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By wtf - 26/8/2012 05:03 - New Zealand - Invercargill

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by picture, during a game of Draw Something. FML

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By sucks_brah - 25/12/2009 07:25 - United States

Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML

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By bdiddy - 11/7/2009 19:50 - United States

Today, I moved in with my brother to save on a swanky apartment. I was skeptical as to how this would work out as we fought a lot as kids. Our first big fight? Whether or not to keep his dorm-style futon complete with Return of the Jedi sheets. He's a 35-yr old physician; I'm a 28-yr old lawyer. FML

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By Scared4Lf - 19/8/2016 18:10 - United States - Lamoure

Today, I was awoken by my grandparents making love, as they shook the camper in which my cousin and I were sleeping. FML

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Top comments

By Warmonger_Smurf | 29

#7735020 - Sunday 9 December 2018 5:15

Well everything is ruined now. Clearly you two were never meant to be together. This fart proves it. Return the ring and move back in with your parents.

By AllucardLink | 1

#7735016 - Sunday 9 December 2018 5:07

Who cares? People fart and him farting upset you? perhaps it was because he was nervous or perhaps he has digestive issues. if this ruined the moment then he is dodging a bullet! plus you can always leave that part out of the story IF yoy didn't say no over a stupid fart.

COMMENTS

By teaspoon04 | 15

#7735015 - Sunday 9 December 2018 5:05

Hope it’s the start of a life full of laughing with each other. Congratulations!

By AllucardLink | 1

#7735016 - Sunday 9 December 2018 5:07

Who cares? People fart and him farting upset you? perhaps it was because he was nervous or perhaps he has digestive issues. if this ruined the moment then he is dodging a bullet! plus you can always leave that part out of the story IF yoy didn't say no over a stupid fart.

Reply

Rabite | 28

#7735259 - Sunday 9 December 2018 15:45

You need to chill and not push some weird stuff in your head onto people just telling a funny story.

By 1ninjanina | 7

#7735017 - Sunday 9 December 2018 5:07

I don’t see it as an FML. Guys fart. Everyone farts. Sometimes they slip out. I think guys have less control over it than girls.

By jobtokyo | 8

#7735018 - Sunday 9 December 2018 5:08

Well please don’t leave us hanging, what did you say?

By Warmonger_Smurf | 29

#7735020 - Sunday 9 December 2018 5:15

Well everything is ruined now. Clearly you two were never meant to be together. This fart proves it. Return the ring and move back in with your parents.

Reply

zuckerburg | 21

#7735730 - Monday 10 December 2018 14:27

The sarcasm on this post is lovely. I hope OP reads it but without the sarcasm.

By RichardPencil | 28

#7735021 - Sunday 9 December 2018 5:42

Love stinks!

By Rae Marie | 13

#7735027 - Sunday 9 December 2018 6:49

Seriously? He proposed and you’re writing an FML about it? That’s so rude

By Diegoba12 | 16

#7735031 - Sunday 9 December 2018 7:01

Poor guy, I’m sure he was embarrassed. Hopefully you didn’t say no..

By LennyComa | 39

#7735033 - Sunday 9 December 2018 7:03

Bless his cotton socks he was probably nervous. When I proposed I was shaking so much I stuttered the question

Reply

childlessmother | 16

#7735047 - Sunday 9 December 2018 7:38

😹

By Charlie Given | 22

#7735038 - Sunday 9 December 2018 7:10

Aww he was just blowing his love trumpet 🤣😂