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Aw hell, this is going to start the "YDI, get married first" comments.
uhm yeah YDI 1 4 being w/ a guy that insecure not to trust that u wouldnt cheat 2 for not explaining about the hair color thing n calling a relative to prove it 4 u 3 yeah uh thats on u 4 having a kid out of wedlock...had u been married im sure he would of at the least given u time to explain. (then again u were w/ the guy not me so hf w/ that)
marriage SHOULD be a requirement for being able to reproduce, and not even from a religious standpoint. at least then you have a stable family situation (and it's been proven that kids from two-parent homes are usually less fucked-up than those from single parent homes). then we'd have a lot less single moms running around wasting court time on getting their child support payments. plus, it's a lot harder to get divorced than it is to just break up. this forces you to deal with problems rather than just be like peace the fuck out. i don't understand why you'd have a child (a very important life decision) when you might not be in a committed, long-term relationship. if you're not willing to commit to marriage you shouldn't commit to having a child.
@200: Scandinavian countries are very non-religious and more than half of the children there are born to couples out of wedlock. Last I checked they were doing just fine. I won't argue that its not a good idea for children to be born to parents in long-term relationships, because it is. But that doesn't really depend on marriage. As a non-religious person, why should I care to have my long-term relationship sanctified or approved by god?
It is not about getting sanctified by god or getting his approval. If they had got married according to Law and had it registered, the guy would not have been able to just walk out. I mean now he just broke up with the OP if they were married they would have had to go through a lengthy procedure of divorce, that would have given OP some time to explain. Common Sense isn't it?? OP you should have thought of marriage before having a child not from a religious point of view but from a social security point of view. You man couldn't have just walked away if you were married, could he??
I say YDI because I'm assuming you wanted to have the baby's father in his life. If that was important to you, than you SHOULD have waited till your boyfriend or someone else was willing to commit to marriage. Of course a woman can have a baby while unmarried if she wants to, but then she shouldn't complain if the father doesn't stick around, which is what OP is doing.
Sorry to reply to the first comment, but the OP needs to read this. Anyone with a basic understanding of genetics could see that it is very much possible for two people with brown hair to have a blonde child. There are always two alleles per trait. In order to have a blonde child, you must have two blonde alleles, since blonde hair is recessive. But, since brown hair is a dominant gene, you only need one brown hair allele to have that hair color. Lets call brown hair B and blonde hair b. You (the OP) most likely have Bb alleles since you had blonde hair as a child. And it is just as likely that you ex-boyfriend had Bb alleles, too. You both can only pass down one allele per trait, and it is very possible that you both just so happened to pass down the recessive b trait. So your child would have bb alleles, and therefore have blonde hair. Simple. If you explain this to him (or force him to take a course on genetics) he will easily see that you did not cheat. This is very simple genetics as I explained before.
Wow people, what the hell? being so rude to her and saying she deserves it when you don't even know all of the details! Think of all the variables here: To those saying she should have married first-Do you really think that would have stopped him from walking out? All it would have done is make the breakup process longer... And as if marriage is really an excuse? There are people who get married after knowing each other for less than 6 months, have a kid, and are divorced a year later...I would say they waited a while to have a kid. She should have used birth control- They were together 5 years, what's to say that she wasn't and that it simply didn't work? Birth control isn't foolproof. She said he's paranoid...maybe he's been cheated on in a past relationship? or maybe she's cheated on him before? We don't know! I do agree that she needs to do a DNA test...or maybe in the time everyone here has been griping, he realized how stupid he was and is now taking responsibility for the child. GROW UP AND OPEN YOUR CLOSED MINDS. People have had kids outside of wedlock since humans existed. It's nothing new, it's just more talked about now.
YDI for buying into the BS that it is ok to have kids without getting married.
Oh... erm... wow... I'm a fag? Wow, so good to know that A) random trolls know ALLLLL about my personal life, and B) said random trolls are too dickless to even add any personal info to their profile. Shock horror. Minus 50 points for being unoriginal. Minus 30 for being unfunny. Minus 20 for being you.
You could explain to your BF that two dark-haired people could have a blond child due to recessive genes, or just get a paternity test and make his dumb ass pay for it.
wtf no.3 she had the baby a month ago! also no. 5 HOW DARE YOU!!!! i was born before my parents got married, i was flower girl at the wedding, i had white blonde hair when my parents have dark, but thats becuz both of my parents did, they are still in love many years later, why just yesterday i was with them at a party and they were slow dancing to a gooshy love song!
You are very fortunate, as I am because actually come from a similar background. But after my dad walked out on us, my mom found a great guy to marry her and take in me and my sisters. But the fact is that you and I are in the minority when it comes to what happens to such kids.