By Anonymous - 12/12/2013 00:51 - United States - Buffalo

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks 57 729
You deserved it 8 962

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Top comments

Sounds like asstounding work.


Sounds like asstounding work.

SauceySarah 30

He's a real asshole.

jazzy_123 20

that's a guy's version of "50 shades of Grey".

Well, at least you had a chance to ANALyze his work.

WeAreAHurricane 14

Sounds more like an autobiography

I assume he's just lazy, trying to take the back door to success.

He shouldn't have ASSimilated your personal love life into the novel

come on OP can't you turn the other cheek?

sounds like the cheek has already been turned a few times

So many puns, it cracks me up.

perdix 29

Sounds like a sequel to Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History of Time," except going into much greater depth probing the topic of black holes.

I had a substitute named Mr. Butts yesterday he would of loved this! Mr. Butts was the shit

hannahsnyder69 16

He should be an ASStronaut since he likes Uranus so much

He enjoyed COLONizing Uranus!

Haha I see what you did there

I hope he didn't have a chapter on Dark Matter. Eww!

Shrouds 14

I'll take 12 copies please.

More like 50 shades of brown

WompWompWomp123 7

He must have ASSumed that you'd like it, butt I guess he was wrong.

This would've been a great book if there wasn't such a hole in the plot. It really cracks the foundation of the story.

South Park spin off in the future

all it's missing from being the greatest coffee table book ever is a donkey on the cover and a coupon for a free tube of lube on the centerfold

iGiveNoDamn 14

Oh shit, the amount of puns on this page, makes this FML an instant favorite.

But no need to get so anal about it!

incoherentrmblr 21

I'm the one who incoherently rambles...

I don't know, I found the novel to be thrilling. I mean yes there was a gap, but I think the biggest twist was when the character traveled to Uranus and discovered a black hole, which caught our philanderer off guard. It went beyond belief that such a crack could exist in such a tight space, yet still pull such a large object into it. Giggity

I'll buy a copy.

they've had enough anal sex for him to drop out of college and write a novel about?

I'm assuming the word "brief" is there for a reason

lexi365 20

It can be taken a couple different ways.

That's what she said.

maybe, but not to you, 23

"That's what" -She

"I'll need to be really really drunk" -She

"Just the tip" -He

RedPillSucks 31

"In the butt, Bob" -Errbody

He'll be the ass end of many a joke at any publishing firm.

Sounds like he should have stayed in college

He just sounds like an idiot. He probably would have failed anyways.

StillUsesMyspace 22

He sounds like a keeper to me

crazydave1998 6

ha!! i doubt a degree was in his future...probably well on his way to flunking

beachygirl24 13

Tell him that will remain in history unless he gets his ass back in college.

ZY1431 24

must of been painful to sit down and read the whole thing brief or not.

don't you mean the hole thing

I think he made me my Starbucks this morning too. Big day for him.

Rainhawk94 27

What are you taking about

Drop outs don't get good jobs.... They work at McDonalds, Tim Hortons (Canadian Duncan Donuts I believe...), starbucks, etc.

I, too, don't understand what they are taking about.

Some college graduates can't get good jobs either.

owenster 12

Ass pun.

lisaroxmysoxx 16

Well you must be amazing if he feels so confident to drop out of college to write a novel about your ass.

If 50 Shades of Gray got popular, who knows? This might become the next big erotic book!

Fifty shades of brown doesn't have the same appeal.

Thumb me down if needed but how clever #58 was has got to be acknowledged by more than a thumbs up!