By Lickmylovepump - 19/01/2012 04:09 - United States

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML
I agree, your life sucks 20 374
You deserved it 35 411

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I'd assume someone with the name "Lickmylovepump" would be an extremely horny and open minded person.

Phone sex is awkward and weird in my opinion. I honestly don't blame you for laughing, because I would have to :P

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Lol. I feel bad for the dude. He just wanted to have quality time with op....through the phone.

"lickmylovepump" lol! nice title

18-I would much rather have chosen face-to-face interaction. Communicating through a phone just doesn't have that sentimental feeling in your heart. I know that I am assuming a lot of stuff, like OP lives in proximity to her boyfriend, etc., but if they have the ability to interact with each other in real life, that would be much cooler and you wouldn't stumble up on these types of problems.

Well guys, imagine the FML that he's writing right now

This is one of the very, very few FML's I actually laughed out loud at. I'm sorry, but imagining the embarrassment you cost your BF is just fucking hilarious, yet sad. LOL. :D

You broke his spirit :(

38 FaceTime?

61- that made me laugh, because there are people who made companies to use FaceTime for a better type of phone sex

69-(the number is a little ironic here, lol).. But your saying there are entire companies with the goal to make phone sex better? I don't understand how this idea could be the basis of a company; what do they sell, apple products? On an off note, he probably didn't pick up because he was trying to do to himself in the bathroom what you didn't do for him!

If her username was the kind of thing he was saying, it's hard to blame her really! That would sound ridiculous.

Should've panted with him, it can really help stopping you from laughing, plus he'll at least think he's doing a good job.

Meh, you win some you loose some.

But also giving a false hope of success could hurt him worse if he figured out she was faking it

#39, we have the same birthdays! Sortof! Well anyways...

Careful with that phone sex, there's a recent outbreak among senior citizens called............ hearing aids!

That was really inconsiderate :( He was just wanting you to get in the mood.....

By panting like a wild horse?

Look at OP's name; if that's the sort of thing he was saying, I don't blame her for laughing

'Lick my love pump' was probably the breaking point for OP

I feel for OP'S boyfriend but I don't blame her. It sounds like he really isn't too suave with dirty talk. "lick my love pump" is about as effective as saying "slide down my tromboner" not too suave sir!

Boyfriend: "Oh, when you touch my winkie like that it makes me so ready to make whoopie!"

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No. Nothing to do with maturity. She embarrassed him. I don't blame him.

Well I think it does have to do with maturity, because immature people choose to run away from their problems (i.e ignoring phone calls) while mature people face them. Just saying.

his girlfriend embarrassed and upset him, plenty of people choose not to speak to the person who've they've been upset by if they keep calling them. op could have just said it wasn't working instead of laughing, I know I'd be horrified if he laughed at me for something like that.

I still think it's immature to ignore phone calls. Not to say I haven't done it, but I do realize it was immature of me...

Obviously you know nothing, she was being childish and immature there's nothing wrong with your partner trying to spice things up, she was the idiotic one for laughing ...

bamagrl410 31

Phone sex just doesn't work for some people. Yea, it sucks that she ended up laughing. But she probably wanted to try instead of tell him it wasn't working. Which she did, and unfortunately ended up with a less-than-welcome reaction. It's not like she purposely laughed to be mean or make fun of him. He just has a bruised ego and it'll take some time & making up for it in other ways to remedy the situation.

60- Phone sex may not work out for some people, but OP shouldn't have laughed. She should have had some self control instead of embarrassing her partner. It is possible to mute the phone or even pull yourself together and explain that you aren't enjoying yourself. Of course she got a less-than-welcome reaction. Her boyfriend was trying to please her and gets laughed at. She chose to laugh despite what her boyfriend would have felt, and that's why she deserves it.

Maybe he wouldn't answer the phone cause he was rubbin one out? He was obviously in the mood... And it takes more than that to turn a man off... Or he may be looking for a more thoughtful girlfriend. Most women would be happy that their man would rather have phone sex than running around on them. My thought, op is young and immature, not thinking about her action.

I think the votes speak louder

For those that keep saying he and she, this is a man on man phone sex call. With less then the normal man love.

So that would explain the pink female symbol in the upper right corner....

Nice catch there sweetie ;)

There is nothing wrong with him it is her she should have played along at the least not laugh anybody would do the same girls do it all the time so guys can too I would bet you have ignored someone for a reason

In a healthy relationship, it's ok to be honest, even if it means laughing. Laughter is healthy. I know my boyfriend's laughed at me when I've tried too hard to be cute and it didn't work and visa versa. Don't take yourself so seriously and laugh with each other; it'll be ok. :)

id laugh too if the other person was breathing heavy..especially with it being a guy

6, Why does being a guy make it a different situation? It doesn't matter what the gender is, that shit is cringe-worthy. Should have pretended something came up and GTFO.

Phone sex is awkward and weird in my opinion. I honestly don't blame you for laughing, because I would have to :P

i love your xbox too. but yeah, phone sex is just torture

Laughing is almost as good as shitting on his self esteem to some people, don't blame him for not picking up

I sold my Xbox 2 years ago hahah

I'd assume someone with the name "Lickmylovepump" would be an extremely horny and open minded person.

maybe thats what he was saying to her o.O

Indeed. Phone sex (as well as cyber and sexting) can be awesome if you just loosen up a bit and have fun.

Talk 2 him and make it straigt by apologizing otherwise hes going to leave u

If you threaten to leave your girlfriend for laughing at you because they used corny, sexual pick-up lines over the phone, you are a shallow prick.

*because you

Shouldn't have laughed bitch ydi