Love: Today, my boyfriend informed me that he was a breech baby, which... - FML

By BreechInEducation - 27/11/2016 06:55

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he was a breech baby, which according to him meant that he born out of his mum's butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 532

You deserved it 918

You tried

#1 Mom of the Year

Horn section

By Anonymous - 01/09/2009 15:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. After hundreds passive aggressive comments, my boyfriend and I went into the kitchen. I started complaining to him about how his parents were horrible and mean. Little did I know, his parents had followed us in and were right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 338

You deserved it 48 500

Narcissism

By during - 19/05/2010 12:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 290

You deserved it 7 303

By brit - 11/02/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I was listening to my favorite radio station outta Detroit. A commercial came on for a program that was giving federal grants to people who were going into a trade, like me. Right as I was getting excited I heard the words "brought to you by the government of Canada." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 773

You deserved it 5 601

By Beestings - 24/03/2013 05:14 - United States

Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 390

You deserved it 6 514

By fail - 19/11/2009 06:10 - Australia

Today, whilst singing at school in front of 300 visiting primary school children I forgot the second verse to my song and let out an F*** word with the microphone still up to my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 352

You deserved it 39 481

By anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 984

You deserved it 70 783

By NotCuteEnough - 24/08/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 505

You deserved it 7 699

Underestimated overachiever

By Anonymous - 27/03/2020 20:00

Today, I told my cousin I was admitted to a top MBA program. He asked if it was an online-only certificate program. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 176

By Christian - 28/09/2013 15:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. We are on a cruise together. She has already found another room to sleep in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 684

You deserved it 3 542

Dreams Never End

By Anonymous - 16/09/2020 13:32 - India - Vijayawada

Today, I finally convinced my mother to allow me pursue my dream job after months of begging. I logged in to the college's website to register for the course and found that the final seat had been filled in today and I need to wait one more year for admission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 314

By Anonymous - 10/09/2011 05:57 - United States

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 156

You deserved it 4 291

By nomoreart - 09/02/2011 00:30 - United States

Today, I was working on my art portfolio. I had drawn a self-portrait. When I was satisfied, I wanted to show my parents. They thought it was a drawing of a bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 352

You deserved it 5 205

By bill - 24/10/2012 11:14 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 923

You deserved it 2 658

By unluckysamaritan - 15/10/2016 08:51 - Sweden - H??r

Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on the subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 400

You deserved it 971

By dany - 26/05/2012 19:34 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 798

You deserved it 2 147

By fml - 05/02/2009 11:41 - United States

Today, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 273

You deserved it 10 905

By Buttscratcher - 03/03/2012 16:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 849

You deserved it 31 713

By Oh hells no - 16/09/2013 07:26 - United States - Los Altos

Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 478

You deserved it 12 081

By Bigbaby - 11/06/2015 22:29 - United States - Ontario

Today, I decided to be the "cool aunt" and take my nephew to a horror movie. I ended up being so scared, I burst into tears. Nothing says "cool" like having an 11-year-old walk a sobbing, grown woman from a theatre. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 832

You deserved it 12 161

By glam300 - 30/12/2010 18:21 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend commented on my short skirt and, thinking she was being funny, tried to pull it down. I quickly moved away, causing it to come off in her hands. My shocked scream attracted the attention of at least a dozen bystanders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 417

You deserved it 7 668

Because reasons

By Off_Road - 04/06/2014 19:30 - United States - North Pole

Today, while on the highway, a guy in a truck sped up to pass me. He was hauling a trailer, which hit me and ran me off the road. I called the cops and followed him all the way into town, where the cops pulled him over. They let him go without even a ticket, because, "He didn't know he hit you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 448

You deserved it 3 995

Not what you think

By WhataStrangeTripThisIs - 03/06/2021 11:01

Today, I got an unexpected call from my ex who I'd had been missing. He repeatedly called me a whore for having multiple hotel rooms in the last couple of weeks. I had them because I got a promotion at work and have been working out of town frequently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 93

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 19:10 - United States - West Chester

Today, I was outside talking to my new neighbor. I was gesturing while talking and didn't notice the little kid riding her bike coming our way. I ended up accidentally smacking her in the face and knocking her off her bike. Apparently she's my new neighbor's daughter. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 013

You deserved it 2 345

By Anonymous - 20/03/2012 11:57 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 556

You deserved it 2 825

By Anonymous - 11/12/2011 07:29 - Canada

Today, while my boyfriend was sneaking out before my parents woke, he slipped on some ice and fell on their car. The alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 250

You deserved it 29 682

By breakinphones - 20/02/2011 02:03 - United States

Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 619

You deserved it 81 586

Can't win

By confused - 12/06/2020 02:06

Spicy

Today, I was told by my wife that she was moving in with her mother, because I was causing her to have panic attacks. She said she still loves me and wants to be with me, but she needs a few months to herself. I have given her her way for most of our marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 483

You deserved it 275

By Fangirl#1 - 29/10/2018 22:10

Today, students were permitted to wear costumes at my school, but only about half of us did. In 4th period a guy asked me, "What are you supposed to be?" I wasn’t wearing a costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 448

You deserved it 302

By UnfortunateGirly - 26/02/2010 08:30 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to yell out "Pass us the bong, Emma!" while I was on the phone to my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 210

You deserved it 6 354

By Mallory - 27/11/2011 23:53 - United States

Today, after admitting he had feelings for me, my crush returned from out of town. He'd said that while he was gone, he'd meet people, but only think of me. He came back no longer single. He's known her for 4 days. We've known each other for 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 769

You deserved it 3 952

Facts, feelings…

By Jimbob - 28/09/2020 17:01 - United States - Austin

Today, I went on a first date. It started out OK, but halfway through he began "debating" me, talking just like Ben Shapiro. I thought he was joking, or at least satirising the worst way you could talk during a date. I was wrong; he was serious. I'm still not sure what set him off, but I couldn't get a word in edgeways in after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 135

You deserved it 243

Real dream

By kaley - 14/12/2019 03:00

Today, I woke up to find that I had given myself a haircut in my sleep. I have a presentation today and a job interview tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 681

You deserved it 334

How Soon is Now?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 12:59 - Colombia - Bogot?

Today, I realized that my boyfriend‘s birthday was two weeks ago, so I immediately sent him a message as if it was today. He didn’t believe my excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 1 689

By Anonymous - 22/02/2013 17:14 - Sweden - Floda

Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 400

You deserved it 4 234

By Anonymous - 12/12/2011 06:00 - United States

Today, my mother refused to agree with any of my logic because it's "not in the bible." She can't find any fault with it, just refuses to agree with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 707

You deserved it 3 873

The road to hell, good intentions, all that jazz

By Anonymous - 06/07/2020 05:01

Today, in the process of leaning over the sink to close the drain so my diamond earrings wouldn't fall in as I put them on, I dropped my diamond earring down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 656

Shithole

By Julie Wuertz - 21/06/2021 11:01

Today, I was packing up to move when I decided to take a break. I went to get some water from the sink when a bug fell into my cup. Needless to say, I'm glad I'm moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 64

By Anonymous - 07/05/2009 10:44 - Malaysia

Today, one of my teachers asked me to babysit their kids saturday night. She didn't forget that it was Prom night, she was going to chaperone it. My teacher assumed I wasn't invited to Prom... I wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 671

You deserved it 5 187

The long goodbye

By yupimher - 12/10/2019 22:00

Today, I found out my job is trying to get me to quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 617

You deserved it 142

The apple of my eye

By anonymous - 17/07/2020 08:00

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 282

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Monday 28 November 2016 10:01

I guess this is just one of those things you believe as a kid and no one corrects you when you become an adult .

Jared900DUmpling 30

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Monday 28 November 2016 9:47

I think he meant to say that he was a food baby. Anyway he sounds like he's probably full of shit

Comments

TheGreastest 24

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Monday 28 November 2016 9:44

I couldn't help but laugh. I'm sorry OP, but couldn't you just laugh as well and correct him?

Jared900DUmpling 30

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Monday 28 November 2016 9:47

I think he meant to say that he was a food baby. Anyway he sounds like he's probably full of shit

SimoneTaylor1994 15

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Monday 28 November 2016 10:00

Somebody give this boy an education lmao.

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Monday 28 November 2016 10:01

I guess this is just one of those things you believe as a kid and no one corrects you when you become an adult .

Dat_Class_Tho 26

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Monday 28 November 2016 12:31

Or this is one of those things that some kids believe but is EASILY corrected by a simple sex-ed class in middle school or high school. Either he didn't pay attention in school, or his school doesn't allow sex-ed classes and he is living proof of why they should reconsider.

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Monday 28 November 2016 13:09

Thanks for that of topic rant.

Lalala579121 27

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Monday 28 November 2016 13:34

10, I'm pretty sure you could find much better proof than that, no? I mean, one person not knowing something as minor as this isn't exactly life-alerting or even a cause for alarm. They're certainly not going to reconsider if this is your best evidence.

Dat_Class_Tho 26

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Monday 28 November 2016 15:01

#14, I'm sensing you don't quite get the concept of exaggeration for comedic purposes, no? Someone getting all the way to adulthood without realizing that it is impossible for a baby to be shat out through the colon/anus is equal parts hilarious and tragic. Not cause for emergency, but also not "minor". This wasn't meant to be a serious debate, but if you want to go that route; One of the best arguments is the fact that teen pregnancy and STDs happen 60% more often in schools that teach "abstinence only" (or have no sex ed classes at all) instead of comprehensive sex education. (a star with the words "THE MORE YOU KNOW" trailing after it floats past...)

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Monday 28 November 2016 15:33

thinking that babies can be born out of a woman's arse is a pretty big thing to be wrong about...

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Monday 28 November 2016 10:03

By any chance was he using this during an argument, as a way to say that being an asshole wasn't his fault?

moodyreallyrocks 27

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Monday 28 November 2016 11:11

He needs a lesson in Biology!!

Seabass_Chan 33

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Monday 28 November 2016 23:10

And soon. I wouldn't be surprised if he also thought you pee inside a girl to make a baby.

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Monday 28 November 2016 11:26

yep, he's an idiot

RichardPencil 30

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Monday 28 November 2016 11:47

So, you're dating a real little shit.

InfiniteSunshine 32

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Monday 28 November 2016 12:22

Lol, I was a breech baby. Luckily the doctor was able to flip me around before I was born, he had to do it twice as I just didn't want to stay the right way. Maybe he thinks this way because breech babies are often born bum/butthole first themselves? Sorry, but your boyfriend's misinformation is both hilarious and stupid. This is why comprehensive sex ed is needed and should be mandatory.

melana09 19

Monday 28 November 2016 12:32

Well if you really like him then give him the correct information.

Nearly

Today, I realized that I wore ripped jeand AND ripped boxers to work. Both ripped at the same place, in between the legs. The result was my looking down and seeing my dick halfway out of my trousers. I can't get up from my seat the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 17

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I'm on day 11 of having COVID. My husband said to me, "I hope you get better soon so we can finally have sex again." Thanks for being concerned about MY health and wellbeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 119

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 95