Today, my boyfriend got scared of a fly, freaked out, and accidentally... - FML

By Anonymous - 6/9/2010 04:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got scared of a fly, freaked out, and accidentally punched me in the face. FML

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Nice neighborhood

Abuse

Hello everyone!

By KingUrge - 26/4/2013 08:36 - United States - Victorville

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML

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By TRAMATIZED - 8/9/2009 22:08 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be hot to get it on in the gym storage room at school. Apparently so did my Chemistry and Drama teachers. FML

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By fml - 5/1/2015 03:10 - United States

Today, these cute girls approached me and asked me to take a picture of them. One girl asked me if I could send it to her because her phone had died. I was excited to have her number, but it turns out that she deleted the message after she sent the picture to herself. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/1/2010 16:12 - United States

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

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By Mayo - 4/12/2018 13:30

Today, I met one of my favorite fitness models. She told me I need to get in shape. I weigh 150lbs. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/9/2014 18:48 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

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By Thewatcher - 22/10/2014 08:09 - Mauritius

Today, I tried to download some network-monitoring software for the office as I suspect that one of my staff has been constantly downloading torrents. It wouldn't download because someone was using all the bandwidth. FML

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By f.m. - 23/7/2018 16:00

Today, I took my driving test. I was nervous, but I thought I followed the rules of the road pretty well. My tester ended up failing me for "backing out too slowly". FML

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By Anonymous - 20/7/2019 09:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML

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By Matei - 12/3/2015 00:36 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, after 4 years of nicely asking, I wrote an official memo to our logistics department, asking for new chairs for my subordinates. The logistics people came and concluded that there are more broken chairs than good ones, but suggested that perhaps we should all go on a diet. FML

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By MrOh - 9/8/2011 17:29 - Canada

Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML

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By MarieAmber18 - 28/5/2015 18:05 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has been denying me sex isn't because he is scared of someone walking in on us. It's because his blow-up doll pleasures him more than I do. FML

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By It's CSI Miami - 24/6/2015 04:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got into a fight with my mom because she believes that my fiancé is "irresponsible" and "immature". I stormed out and drove back home. There, I walked in on my fiancé and his friends. They were in a heated and almost violent argument over which CSI is the best. The wedding's next month. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/10/2009 18:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because I'm in the military and I'm gone too much. The reason I enlisted in the first place is because we agreed that the money and benefits I would earn would help us be able to start a family in the future. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/8/2012 23:16 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

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By beepbeep - 22/8/2018 03:30

Today, after being kicked out of my racist family, my boyfriend and I moved across the country to rent an apartment with my sister. My mother hates us so much she offered to buy my sister a new car to not take us in. FML

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By goodjobme - 23/2/2016 06:53 - United States - Torrance

Today, I was at church with some friends and our counselor, who had recently came back from Taiwan. I was born there and love to visit, so I immediately exclaimed, "How lucky!" A few seconds of awkward silence later, he said, "I was visiting my dad who was just diagnosed with cancer." FML

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By Marine - 28/3/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend of over a year a text message telling him how much I loved him, how perfect he is for me and what I love about him. He sent me back a text saying, "I thought you had class." FML

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By Bawsack - 6/4/2017 00:00

Today, I dyed my hair. It was all going well, until I forgot I had a head full of product and scratched an itch. I didn't realise my mistake until later, and now have to replace my six-month old sofa because it has a huge stain that alternates from purple to bleach. FML

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By tftm - 5/1/2013 05:37 - United States - Elmhurst

Today, my uncle keeps spamming me on Facebook with friend suggestions. Most of them are people he met on porn sites. FML

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By Smitty Werbenjeagermanjensen - 27/10/2016 03:19 - United States - Amarillo

Today, I had a conversation with the cute girl I like at work for the first time. I told her I worked in the camping department of the store, and we had a long chat about how she heard that the guy who runs that department is a complete dick head. I am the guy who runs that department. FML

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By shitpile - 6/8/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML

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By notthedad - 15/3/2011 15:50 - China

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

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By Avery - 24/3/2012 20:06 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML

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By MsAnonymous17 - 26/5/2013 23:20 - United States

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

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By Anonymous - 16/1/2013 06:42

Today, I was the last person in line for going on the bus. Incidentally, I was right behind a guy way taller and wider than me. When he got on the bus, the bus driver immediately shut the door behind him. I was left outside chasing after the bus. FML

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By paprikarulz - 1/7/2009 10:31 - Australia

Today, I got an email from a guy to whom I sold my old phone to over eBay. Turns out I forgot to delete the nude photos of myself and my boyfriend that I had stored up. His email asked me for "any PIN numbers needed to use the phone, and oh by the way, nice tits." FML

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By Jonathan - 18/3/2011 21:40 - Denmark

Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML

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By blind_loser - 12/7/2009 01:19 - United States

Today, my best guy friend set me up on a blind date. Almost immediately after the guy and I sat down, he excused himself to make a call. A couple of feet away from our table, I heard him say, "Come on, Justin, this is the best you could do??" Over the phone. Justin is the guy who set us up. FML

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By Sky - 16/1/2017 22:00

Today, it's the 6th day that we have been snowed in. We haven't left the house, because we can't. I've done at least 30 hours of Legos. FML

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By blank - 21/1/2013 21:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML

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By sayno2mermaids - 4/8/2016 02:08 - United States - Denver

Today, I set my beer on the windowsill while I made space for it on the table. Suddenly, the wind knocked the window open. Into my beer. Into a box of expensive electronics. It was the last beer. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/1/2014 21:04 - United Kingdom - Wrexham

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML

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By work hard - 7/11/2016 12:38 - Canada - Petawawa

Today, I went into work, thinking it was my last day before I start my new job, as my 2-week notice said to the managers that I can't work after today. None of them believed that I was actually capable of getting a better job and thought my 2-week notice was a joke. FML

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By lovekills99 - 19/1/2009 17:59 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

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By sasquatch21 - 21/2/2010 13:36 - Bahrain

Today, I realized that my husband has a video games addiction. I am currently pregnant; he brought us to the same country he's in so we can finally live together, only for me to witness him being glued to his laptop all day and all night playing WoW. He's forgotten I even existed. FML

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By I have wood - 16/9/2013 21:11 - United States - Stephenville

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

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By Oops - 28/8/2017 03:30 - United Kingdom - Bakewell

Today, I had a hotdog. I thought the skin was a bit tough but ate it anyway. After reading the packaging later I found out that each hotdog has an individual plastic wrapper. I ate plastic. FML

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By ronnieG - 16/7/2013 16:06 - United States - Decatur

Today, my wife and I were having a fight, when she grabbed my car keys and threw them over into the neighbors overgrown junk yard. My car is a restored '59 Belvedere and the keys can't be replaced. I've been looking for hours and I still can't find them. FML

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By Not Jewish - 2/3/2009 08:10 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were being driven home from our date by her mother. She's Jewish and I'm Catholic. Her mother was talking about how my girlfriend was going on a trip to Jerusalem that summer. She finished with "And you can find a nice Jewish boy while you're there." FML

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Top comments

By dragonh4t | 6

#1359958 - Monday 6 September 2010 12:15

that's hillarious. ur life sucks though.

By FYLDeep | 25

#1360000 - Monday 6 September 2010 12:27

Did he at least kill the fly?

COMMENTS

By dragonh4t | 6

#1359958 - Monday 6 September 2010 12:15

that's hillarious. ur life sucks though.

Reply

SuperRaad | 0

#1360022 - Monday 6 September 2010 12:30

ydi for not buying a fly swatter

Reply

andruha1123 | 5

#1360025 - Monday 6 September 2010 12:30

punch him back, then make him a sammich with peanutbutter and no jelly! that'll teach him


Reply

beautikill | 4

#1360184 - Monday 6 September 2010 13:27

ur bfs a pu**y!!

Reply

parii | 0

#1360282 - Monday 6 September 2010 14:13

LOLOL OWNED.



Reply

Tasanasanta | 0

#1360295 - Monday 6 September 2010 14:16

Throw a spider on him for revenge, he just might sh*t himself if he punched you over a fly...

Reply

JustineBieberHat | 0

#1360379 - Monday 6 September 2010 15:06

44 WIN

Reply

mona_is_here | 10

#1360399 - Monday 6 September 2010 15:18

What a fearless man you got :D

Reply

KingDingALing | 9

#1360407 - Monday 6 September 2010 15:21

Op- You should "accidently" punch him in the balls and say that there was a bug on his balls.

Reply

noobgang7 | 5

#1360472 - Monday 6 September 2010 15:43

Are you sure he did it on accident?

Reply

Flameklr | 0

#1363857 - Tuesday 7 September 2010 5:22

lmfao I saw this and nearly died of laughter

Reply

mjcdsjf | 0

#1365414 - Tuesday 7 September 2010 14:24

Add to favourites

By Pluff | 0

#1359960 - Monday 6 September 2010 12:16

You sure it was an acident?

Reply

awesomechick618 | 0

#1360010 - Monday 6 September 2010 12:29

she could have gotten Chris Brown'd
lol
( no offense Chris <3)

Reply

rallets | 22

#1361605 - Monday 6 September 2010 19:01

you dont want to offend chris brown?

what about rihanna? :/

Reply

maa_rico | 4

#2185077 - Tuesday 15 March 2011 15:56

No accident here, sounds more like a elaborated plan to get back at you op for all those sex times you had where you stuck a finger up his ass which he used to hate at the beginning, but after a while he started liking it, and now that he loves it, you won't do it anymore because it doesn't feel tight anymore... so YDI.

Reply

cameron194 | 9

#5157774 - Saturday 17 November 2012 10:08

Lol WIN ^^ xD

By cusof | 0

#1359964 - Monday 6 September 2010 12:18

LMFAO

Reply

paid2think | 0

#1505128 - Wednesday 6 October 2010 8:33

Rock the beat and rock the show!

By FFML_314 | 11

#1359970 - Monday 6 September 2010 12:20

Hey, there are some big, scary flies out there.
The visual I have is priceless!

By barbie45_fml | 0

#1359973 - Monday 6 September 2010 12:21

idt that was an accident

By Rangant | 7

#1359976 - Monday 6 September 2010 12:22

wow 2 sissy boyfriends in a row lol don't try and break up with him OP he might stay for an uncomfortable 4 hours

Reply

hugopz | 0

#1360741 - Monday 6 September 2010 16:22

lol 7

Reply

machiko_fml | 0

#1361091 - Monday 6 September 2010 17:14

Hahaha agreed.

By Prodigy7 | 4

#1359990 - Monday 6 September 2010 12:25

I bet your face get punched in often.

Reply

Prodigy7 | 4

#1360086 - Monday 6 September 2010 12:41

gets*

By FYLDeep | 25

#1360000 - Monday 6 September 2010 12:27

Did he at least kill the fly?

By ivana_smiley | 4

#1360002 - Monday 6 September 2010 12:27

YDI get a boyfriend with better aim

Reply

megan_lovee | 0

#3510913 - Sunday 30 October 2011 2:18

tht was stupid..dumb ass smh

By goldendoodle95 | 0

#1360004 - Monday 6 September 2010 12:28

right because the fly can rip off your head and eat your guts if u act calmly around it