Convince him to play a theme song for evrything you do.

'and now shes posting on fml..'

Yeah. Except pooping, and sex would become pretty awkward.

Start calling your boyfriend 'Polly'...get it? Like a parrot?(;

2: I was thinking the same thing! That would be hilarious!

Now my GF slowly walks to the computer with a determined face! Boom! She quickly goes to fmylife.com and types in how she thinks I'm annoying. She waits for 3 hours to be moderated. She checks back and her post has been confirmed. Mission accomplished.

Does he narrate when your giving him a blow job? cause that would be ...awesome!

Says OP's BF: "Now she is going up, now she is going down now she is going up now she is going down now she is getting off now she is mad at me now she is going to bed now she is snoring she is breathing in out in our in out....now i have to leave"

My boyfriend does that! He does it in a British accent. It's cute at first, but gets super annoying.

Knock him out

lol imagine that..have a theme song for everything you do.

More like Randy Newman after the apocalypse.

Left foot right foot

i walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table...

Hahahhahahaha! No.

I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course I'd never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think she knew. Lois had always been full of energy and life, but lately I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exuberant eyes that I had fallen in love with were now beginning to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life... ... I woke several hours later in a daze.

"and here she is now, licking it like a strawberry ice cream cone."

Then he'll know that he'll get a bj if he does it again. She needs to kick him in the balls every time he does it, that'll get him to stop.

sit on his face...

Better yet say no sex then he'll stop lol

"There she is in her natural habitat.. Gracefully making a sandwich... such a magnificent sight to behold.."

I just stalked your profile. O.o

now all you have to do is record him, and in a year or two, you have a feature film called "An Average Girl" that will win awards for no reason.

OP should get one of her friends to hum epic music as her boyfriend narrates.

That what I was gonna say! Haha!

You sir, win the Internet.

If she's hearing a Morgan Freeman voice, it's probably just Freemanic paracusia.

Itd be just as cool to have Seth Rouen narrating

Rogen* sry auto correct