By Porche - United Kingdom - London
Today, my boyfriend called me at work and said, "I hate to do this over the phone..." I burst into tears, thinking he was going to break up with me. Turns out he only ate my last doughnut. Now my co-workers think I'm a weirdo. FML
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  JKPwnage  |  25

The next day:
"Today, I called my girlfriend during work to tell her I ate the last doughnut, and I started by saying, "I hate to do this over the phone." She burst into tears because she thought I was breaking up with her. When she got home, she dumped me. FML"