Today, my boyfriend brought me to his place to meet his parents.... - FML

By omfgmaya - 5/10/2009 17:29 - Denmark

Today, my boyfriend brought me to his place to meet his parents. When they saw me, they laughed. FML

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Time don't heal nothing

Live dumping

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

By areyoukiddingme - 7/1/2013 06:09 - United States

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

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By She totally did not cheat - 15/8/2018 22:00

Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my fiancée a necklace she always wanted. She gave me herpes. FML

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By Nola - 13/9/2018 22:00

Today, my fiancé got his associate degree in the mail. Wanting to surprise him when he got home, I opened it to display it before going out to buy groceries. His dog got a hold of his degree and shredded it to pieces. FML

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By Holly - 5/2/2010 07:33 - United States

Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/3/2012 14:20 - United States

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

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By WronglySad619 - 26/1/2011 10:31 - United States

Today, after mourning and making my girlfriend cancel her big birthday party, I found out my grandma didn't actually die. FML

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By Professional_Ars - 14/10/2018 14:00

Today, the coworker I have a crush on left halfway through the busiest shift of the week, and now I have to work it alone. I eventually found out that she left to go on a date with her new boyfriend. FML

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By fatcheeks - 2/3/2010 16:58 - United States

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML

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By mook - 15/7/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesnt know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML

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By - 5/4/2019 04:00

Today, I have to pay my college an extra $1000 because there is a $20 charge every time you get locked out of your room, and I have an extremely poor short-term memory. I'm also only allowed to have exactly one keycard at any given time. FML

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By BadassNinja - 5/9/2009 16:22 - United States

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/1/2011 07:31 - Canada

Today, a pretty co-worker invited me out for drinks after my shift. I have no money left until payday. Embarrassed, I had to decline and go home alone. FML

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By pits - 5/1/2015 04:30

Today, I finally noticed after months of having the same cover photo on several websites, that it looks like I have a bushel of armpit hair due to a shadow. FML

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By ice_dancer_jake - 20/6/2019 02:28

Today, after spending the day at work avoiding all hard manual tasks that may harm me, I had a table dropped on my foot. I broke my toe, split my nail and had to get a tetanus shot. I was avoiding injury as I was supposed to be performing in a figure skating exhibition this evening. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/9/2010 14:12 - United States

Today, I found out that my husband keeps in contact with the woman he was infatuated with in high school. He texts her more than he texts me. FML

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By Millian2 - 8/4/2012 02:10 - United States - Plymouth

Today, I learned that when you take off your sweatshirt, it can get stuck in your braces. I was in public. FML

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By tammyg - 11/2/2010 18:42 - United States

Today, I took Ambien for the first time. Not only did I not fall asleep, but I took my mother through a list of all the men I've slept with. I do not remember a thing, but apparently I was very thorough. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/5/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

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By WhoLikesPie - 25/7/2015 15:51 - United States - Tampa

Today, I went to my girlfriend's job to surprise her for lunch, her manager said she hasn't worked on a Saturday in two months. FML

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By unhappyelf - 14/11/2011 21:53 - United States

Today, my boss insisted that we get in the holiday mood by putting up lights, playing Christmas music, and wearing bells on our uniforms. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I can't even have a tinkle without full-blown jingling. FML

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By bill - 24/10/2012 11:14 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/3/2011 19:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend dumped me was because his parents don't like the fact that I go to a prestigious university. However, they're completely accepting of the drunken slob who's dating their daughter. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/2/2017 18:00 - United States - Spring Hill

Bunch of Freeloaders...

Today, after having my Wi-Fi unlocked for two years, I decided to lock it since it was running slowly. Everybody in my apartment building came to my door and asked me why I did it. I've been unknowingly providing free Wi-Fi to the entire building for years, but now that it's protected I'm getting constant dirty looks. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/4/2009 02:03 - United States

Today, my best friend and I performed a rap to our whole school. The rap was "made up" by our friend. After the performance, a lot of friends asked me why I did a rap from Hannah Montana. Apparently the rap was off of a show for 8 year olds. We are 17 and people think we watch Hannah Montana. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/9/2012 14:25 - United States - Lawndale

Today, I found out why my teenage daughter won't brush her teeth properly. Apparently my son convinced her that toothpaste has tons of calories. FML

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By Zoe Avila - 9/8/2011 22:55 - United States

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

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By ghostyyy - 24/7/2010 23:21 - France

Today, my sister was on television. It would have been great if she weren't being handcuffed for burglary. FML

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By aussie worker - 23/3/2017 14:00

Today, it was my first day at a new job as a waitress for a wedding function centre. As I was opening the door to collect dirty plates from the guests, I bumped into a colleague carrying a tray full of full champagne glasses, all of which fell and smashed on the floor. FML

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By daughter - 18/9/2012 04:25 - Sweden - V?rg?rda

Today, I found out that, for over three years, my boyfriend has solely been dating me to get closer to my mom. Apparently, "she's a total MILF." FML

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By Charlie - 8/9/2009 10:46 - Australia

Today, it was raining. I was out walking with my girlfriend, and decided it would be cute if we did a bit of dancing in the rain. As I was swinging her around, I swung her head against a lamp post. She broke up with me. FML

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By shutupandsmile18 - 18/4/2009 02:32 - United States

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 15:32 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend did the washing as an attempt to help me. Not only are all my clothes now pink, he refuses to do the dishes, vacuuming, bathroom, ironing etc., as he has done "plenty." FML

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By Anonymous - 12/11/2018 12:00

Today, while I was fitting a new fuse box, a giant spider tried to eat my fingers. As I pulled away, I touched the exposed wires. I woke up flat on my back to the customer slapping my face, burnt fingers, and bruises everywhere. I had also peed and shit myself. FML

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By unfortunategeek - 23/12/2010 16:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to contact my birth mother, who abandoned me when I was three weeks old. After months of tracing, I finally plucked up the courage to call her. She told me to "f*ck off and die". FML

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By Antoine Karam - 27/6/2019 04:30

Today, I was invited to an engagement. My crush is getting engaged next month to a man she told me she hated. FML

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By elizio - 4/8/2015 11:59 - United States - Trenton

Today, I went to a high school reunion. An old friend I hadn't seen in a while suddenly came up to me and gasped, "Oh, thank God!" I was about to greet her and catch up when she added, "I'm not the only one who gained weight!" FML

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By Anonymous - 19/10/2013 05:34 - United States - Escondido

Today, my boyfriend sent me a nude picture. I would have been fine with it if he hadn't taken it in his ex-girlfriend's room. FML

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By Sarraahh - 19/4/2020 05:00 - Canada

Mystery

Today, my 65-year-old grandmother called and asked me to tell my boyfriend that she was flattered, but she's happily married. I have no idea what she was talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML

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By Rae - 4/5/2012 21:09 - United States - Chicago

Today, after weeks of intense studying with the intent of pulling my grades up, I saw that in fact, they've all gone down. FML

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By fml - 19/1/2011 01:49 - United States

Today, I let my dogs out, and then realized they didn't have their electric fence collars on. I ran inside to get the collars, then dashed out to put them on my dogs. I ran through the electric fence. The collars were on. FML

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Top comments

By The_Great_Zucchi | 14

#605434 - Monday 5 October 2009 23:14

Maybe they were relieved he brought home a real girl instead of an imaginary one...

By XGoat | 0

#605428 - Monday 5 October 2009 23:12

Wow, what assholes

Comments

By XGoat | 0

#605428 - Monday 5 October 2009 23:12

Wow, what assholes

Reply

sublime93 | 0

#605446 - Monday 5 October 2009 23:19

There's innumerable(spelling?) reasons why they laughed. I feel like there's missing info here

Reply

Zhejan | 0

#605579 - Tuesday 6 October 2009 0:27

Maybe she has little stubby arms or a hairy vagina face

Reply

i_got_it | 0

#605585 - Tuesday 6 October 2009 0:32

Or maybe they were high... they had that haze.

By The_Great_Zucchi | 14

#605434 - Monday 5 October 2009 23:14

Maybe they were relieved he brought home a real girl instead of an imaginary one...

Reply

Nonamerequired | 0

#605624 - Tuesday 6 October 2009 1:00

...or a drawn one...

By bitchwithabrain | 0

#605441 - Monday 5 October 2009 23:17

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

xAllygator | 1

#1298674 - Wednesday 25 August 2010 8:41

Your username doesn't fit you...
You obviously don't have a brain.
"I FOURTHEEE that
wut aassholes"
What exactly does that mean? Explain, please.

By YouLostThegame | 0

#605444 - Monday 5 October 2009 23:18

LOL their mean. I'm kind of afraid of this happening to me =[
Well, you don't know what they were talking about before you walked in, maybe they werent laughing at you?

By zephr | 0

#605455 - Monday 5 October 2009 23:22

YDI for being ugly.

By plexico | 3

#605462 - Monday 5 October 2009 23:24

They laughed because it confirmed their suspicion that their son was gay and was dating a very ugly man.

Reply

Sun_Kissed18 | 25

#605643 - Tuesday 6 October 2009 1:18

oo ouch...

Reply

_THE_MASTER_ | 0

#605902 - Tuesday 6 October 2009 4:06

i had something to say, but it isnt nearly as funny as this....so i won't bother. and ty, plex, for making the comments on this site better than the FML's have been so far today

Reply

Jebadiah | 0

#606110 - Tuesday 6 October 2009 6:49

plexico tht was harsh!!!!!!!!! but i cant stop laughing!

By allmidnighteyes | 10

#605471 - Monday 5 October 2009 23:28

illustration time :D
http://i38.tinypic.com/28l4a5f.jpg

By movies12 | 0

#605473 - Monday 5 October 2009 23:29

Um...... maybe they were laughing at something else..... no i don't think so.
FYL.

By kkannibal | 0

#605495 - Monday 5 October 2009 23:38

ahhh that sucks. :( hey, you never know, maybe they thought their son was gay, and they were shocked? anywho good luck with the relationship.

By atvarela | 0

#605498 - Monday 5 October 2009 23:39

or maybe they were relieved he didn't bring home a mexican. i hate mexicans. or perhaps his parents were glad he didn't turn out gay. El Salvador pride!