Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker...

By Dani - 28/11/2011 12:34 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 159

You deserved it 9 395

Miscellaneous

Best teeth in the game

Mama's boy

Good kid

By Anonymous - 28/05/2010 18:07 - United States

Today, while running late to my sister's wedding and rushing to get ready, I accidentally grabbed my travel size shaving cream can in place of my body spray, and quickly drew a blue foaming line across my rental tux. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 931

You deserved it 13 922

By cllutz - 07/02/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, I found out my husband is sleeping with my best friend. The best part? We all just signed a 12 month essentially non-breakable lease on a house together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 672

You deserved it 5 108

By wow kid just leave me alone - 15/09/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 567

You deserved it 3 695

By stubby - 20/01/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend asked if I could somehow get uncircumcised so I could add an inch to my length. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 896

You deserved it 475

By Anonymous - 01/11/2012 23:11 - United States - Danby

Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 509

You deserved it 2 701

By Moanie - 15/03/2009 22:45 - United States

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 218

You deserved it 29 448

By fUcKOAHdSAjl - 16/08/2013 18:41 - United States - Manchester

Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 454

You deserved it 44 307

By snowbell18 - 25/09/2012 07:08 - United States

Today, I had to pay my manager $10 just to take my stalker's order so I didn't have to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 882

You deserved it 2 382

Loveless

By loveless - 18/02/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 803

You deserved it 4 588

Confinement's gonna be fun

By Anonymous - 16/03/2020 23:01

Today, I left the house to get groceries. My parents asked me where I was going and how long I would be gone for. Thinking they were just being inquisitive parents, I ignored them. I got home 20 minutes later to them having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 2 174

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 08/02/2021 14:00

Today, I was driving into work in my hubby’s truck. It’s his pride and joy. I managed to both get a flat tire and lock my keys inside the truck at a gas station, with my face mask also inside. Oh, and it’s 19 degrees. At least it’s sunny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 269

By Anonymous - 19/09/2017 13:00

Today, my seemingly innocent younger brother showed our family a video of what he was doing last night when he skipped New Student Orientation. He's been in college all of 48 hours and he's already joined a fight club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 177

You deserved it 284

By Anonymous - 25/07/2014 02:04 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone interview with a company. Excited, I prepared for the interview and conducted extensive research on the company. The interview ended within a minute. They'd got the wrong person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 143

You deserved it 3 579

Living a lie

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 11:01

Today, I realized I'm very much in love with my old boyfriend. I got married to someone else a few months ago, who I also very much love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 1 064

By CrappyLuck - 04/08/2011 02:43 - United States

Today, I took my 8 month-old to the Urgent Care due to extreme constipation. I spent $25 for my son to poop on me the second the doctor had me remove his diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 760

You deserved it 4 237

By Anonymous - 21/11/2011 16:23 - United States

Today, while watching a man in front of me on the bus remove his cap to scratch his noggin, I noticed the swarm of dandruff that was about to nail me in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 392

You deserved it 2 504

By Helpful Smile - 20/05/2014 23:50 - United States - Davenport

Today, after my bosses excitedly told me I'm getting promoted to customer service at our grocery store, a customer called me an idiot in the parking lot for accidentally backing into the shopping cart she left in my blind spot. And so it begins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 032

You deserved it 5 386

By janie - 30/01/2009 23:17 - United States

Today, I was sexiled. So that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 564

You deserved it 2 389

By whirlednews - 23/04/2012 02:01 - United States

Today, I'm at home sick and someone is moving into the apartment above ours. Judging by the sounds and level of noise, they seem to be opening some sort of woodworking shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 205

You deserved it 1 794

By sydneybourgeois - 13/08/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 452

You deserved it 16 113

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 18:15 - United States - Hyde Park

Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 655

You deserved it 1 636

By emilyhendrix0414 - 28/09/2012 10:53 - United States

Today, my 5-year-old, overweight Siberian Husky tackled me because he thought that my lipstick was food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 334

You deserved it 6 559

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 21:44 - United States

Today, I came home to find my younger daughter left her silly band collection on the carpet in front of the fireplace. I now have melted unicorns and princesses stuck in my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 923

You deserved it 4 173

News to me

By Jean Chretien Lookalike - 23/04/2021 02:04

Today, I was looking at baby photos of me with my mom. I realized that I was making a funny face in some of them, particularly when smiling. I asked my mom if that was a silly face I used to like making. She replied, "Oh, honey no, you had Bell's Palsy until you were two." FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 69

Unmatched

By Anonymous - 02/02/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom - Buckie

Today, my girlfriend of three months broke up with me. Her reason? I'm "not interesting." I said things that might have led to a conversation, she would say "yeah" to everything. She argued about stuff I said that she didn't like; called my mates cunts; didn't let me have female mates. All her mates are lads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 235

The great replacement

By mommy - 18/04/2014 02:31 - United States - North Andover

Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them. Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I asked her name. My kids unhesitatingly blurted out, "Mom". FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 133

You deserved it 5 323

Caught in the act

By Anonymous - 12/08/2021 14:01

Today, I went to a party and saw my current boyfriend making out with my ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 101

Descriptive

By Teaching26 - 15/05/2010 07:47 - United States

Today, I lectured my second-grade class to be more descriptive in their writing. I gave them an assignment to describe something in the classroom. I was grading their work later, and one student wrote, "My class is taught by a fat teacher with gray hair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 082

You deserved it 17 480

By Anonymous - 28/01/2010 11:00 - Norway

Today, I woke up with a hangover. I had a party last night. Besides a stolen TV, someone seemingly decided to take a dump in my piano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 470

You deserved it 30 121

By Upset Mommy - 14/07/2013 04:32 - United States

Today, my water broke. I called my mom, who had agreed to watch my other two kids while I went to the hospital. When I asked her to come over, she just said, "Sorry, now isn't a good time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 866

You deserved it 3 689

By PISSED OFF - 17/05/2015 13:09 - Australia

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 772

You deserved it 47 616

By snotface - 23/04/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 327

You deserved it 8 797

By Noname - 19/02/2009 21:47 - United States

Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 274

You deserved it 3 744

By Anonymous - 13/01/2016 07:46 - Netherlands - Overveen

Today, I dreamed a rat crawled up from the toilet and attacked me. Now I'm afraid to even enter the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 139

You deserved it 3 758

By asthmatic - 18/06/2009 23:07 - United States

Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 196

You deserved it 8 744

By camerashyguy - 20/09/2014 03:14 - United States - Longview

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 826

You deserved it 8 870

By Lissa - 14/09/2016 00:00 - United States - Baldwin

Today, my stupid coworker informed the managers that there were no more kids' menus downstairs. Trusting her word, they ordered 3 full boxes. She then asked me where we kept them. We now have 12,000 kids menus to fold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 676

You deserved it 945

Too much of a good thing

By Anonymous - 21/05/2020 23:00

Today, my girlfriend complained that our quickies shouldn’t take 45 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 1 480

By ijustwannaplaymymusic - 27/05/2016 04:40 - United States - Jackson

Today, I was practicing the piano. My brother told me that if I loved him, I would stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 104

You deserved it 1 579

By wow - 05/05/2011 06:13

Today, my mom confessed that she has to make up compliments to give to prove me wrong when I said she can never say positive things about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 380

You deserved it 3 441

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Top comments

TROLLFACEdotJPG 5

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Monday 28 November 2011 16:02

Challenge accepted?

stepanek911 1

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Monday 28 November 2011 16:06

atleast you weren't in an historical gas chamber.

bitchengucci 0

Monday 28 November 2011 16:01

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

partyfool2011 4

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Monday 28 November 2011 16:07

Well now she has no choice. He declared war!

SCREAM4meeee 0

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Monday 28 November 2011 16:14

Prepare the cannons.

RufusthePenis 0

Monday 28 November 2011 16:18

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

TheWindowLicker 13

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Monday 28 November 2011 16:23

The keyword in the Fml? "accidentally".

ColdplaySucks 18

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Monday 28 November 2011 16:59

Everyone loves a good sense of humor right?

bobbycorwen 5

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Monday 28 November 2011 17:21

What is unlady light?

bobbycorwen 5

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Monday 28 November 2011 17:23

brianjman14 22

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Monday 28 November 2011 17:24

So the OP is to be expected to hold all of her farts in always? What if she spontaneously combusts?

SammiJS121 0

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Monday 28 November 2011 17:35

Maybe she couldn't hold it in.?

thatbitch1204 2

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Monday 28 November 2011 18:25

My boyfriend wants me to hold them in and go to a different room.

LiyIa_fml 8

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Monday 28 November 2011 18:28

I always fart. If you've got it, let it go. :)

urdirtyolduncle 15

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Monday 28 November 2011 19:05

Girls don't fart, poop, or burp, silly! I thought everyone knew that!

bitchengucci 0

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Monday 28 November 2011 19:45

I meant lady like...

destructinator1 0

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Monday 28 November 2011 22:23

6-great comment

jwade11 12

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Monday 28 November 2011 22:50

Women pass gas and everything else just like men! It's a natural human being thing!!!

bananagrams 9

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Monday 28 November 2011 23:06

33- Coldplay absolutely does not suck!

sheethapins 13

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Tuesday 29 November 2011 0:23

63 is right. We fluff.

ScaughtieHolden 11

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Tuesday 29 November 2011 0:37

39, you spontaneously combust from burning calories too fast. Not holding in farts..

ejjamael 5

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Tuesday 29 November 2011 2:39

I would love her for rest of my life :)

maddylovesu 5

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Tuesday 29 November 2011 6:05

BARRIER!!

maddylovesu 5

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Tuesday 29 November 2011 6:07

103- no. i'll se you in shell.

SiriusBlack97 17

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Tuesday 29 November 2011 12:19

Unlady like, you mean?

Rapt0rJesus 0

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Tuesday 29 November 2011 14:06

I can deduct from your nickname and avatar that you are a fat, prepubescent prick.

mule570 3

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Monday 12 December 2011 1:44

just dump him or fart in front of him

TROLLFACEdotJPG 5

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Monday 28 November 2011 16:02

Challenge accepted?

airforce987 20

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Monday 28 November 2011 18:43

Not sure if "lucky gas" is a pun intended...or an autocorrect fail...

sillymcjews 0

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Tuesday 29 November 2011 8:01

challenge considered?

GreenAppleDP 0

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Tuesday 29 November 2011 14:45

This totally sounds like something my boyfriend would do. Even if I wasn't the one who farted, he would still declare war. Lol.

jmad29 2

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Tuesday 29 November 2011 19:33

That made me lol at the doctors office.

abcdeghijklmn 0

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Tuesday 29 November 2011 21:29

Have diarrhea and its a nuke you own the world.

imnotonaboat 0

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Wednesday 30 November 2011 1:10

You're just upset that you lost.

808Boyo 4

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Wednesday 30 November 2011 15:59

Battle shits!

ATSViper 15

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Thursday 1 December 2011 12:25

Damn, you sank my battleshit!

Falalala243 0

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Monday 28 November 2011 16:03

Its not an FML, Op ! Sure, its embarassing, but your boyfriends amazing!! Don't find many like them nowadays ;) hahah

Falalala243 0

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Monday 28 November 2011 16:12

Sorry i forgot about the rules! FYL Op ;)

stepanek911 1

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Monday 28 November 2011 16:06

atleast you weren't in an historical gas chamber.

soccerguy2 11

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Monday 28 November 2011 16:08

Why the hell would you say that?

EnSigne 13

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Monday 28 November 2011 16:13

Because it's frickin hilarious? xD Don't get me wrong, WW2 was awful, but....gaschamber + farts...Lol x)

bobbycorwen 5

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Monday 28 November 2011 17:25

You're an hero for talking about an historical gas chamber.

DrDilllonReese 12

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Monday 28 November 2011 17:52

An hero? That's all I have to say...

HahaYDI 0

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Monday 28 November 2011 22:36

48- Lrn2Internet

MisterMichael 9

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Monday 28 November 2011 23:29

*a historical gas chamber

sadistmonkey 19

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Monday 28 November 2011 23:30

Those not familiar with the meme to begin with would probably assume that it's a mistake before they assume that it's a meme, and rightly so, so the "Lrn2Internet" comment is irrelevant.

postoso 20

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Tuesday 29 November 2011 8:00

Mister Michael You grammar nazi lol

JavIin 0

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Tuesday 29 November 2011 16:22

Guys, an historical can be pronounced like 'an 'istorical'. Maybe he just wants to make his accent visible? :p There was a comment war about this on another fml about the phrase 'an hour'. It's the same kind of situation.

sadistmonkey 19

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Thursday 1 December 2011 3:23

It actually isn't the same situation as "an hour" because while the h in historical isn't silent in all situations, the h in hour is.

soccerguy2 11

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Monday 28 November 2011 16:06

Who won?

Ijas 2

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Monday 28 November 2011 17:49

Not the other people in the bunker that's for sure.

abceasyas123abc 12

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Monday 28 November 2011 16:07

He sounds like a fun guy. He could've made fun of you or blamed his fart on you but instead he turned the whole episode into something humorous and it wasn't at the expense of anyone else (unless they were really malodorous farts..). Have fun with it!