Today, my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about the... - FML

By Iamthatgirl - 27/8/2014 04:56 - United States - Ada

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about the lack of communication in our relationship. I told him that sometimes I feel like he doesn't really care about me at all. If he did, he would listen more. His response? "I know your name, don't I?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

42272

You deserved it

5795

Tweet

Share

Capitalism kills

Last dates

Alexa, play "The Lovecats" by The Cure

By Colleen - 18/1/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, I bought a party bowl of Bud Light for a get-together. Around midnight, I realized that I didn't have the tap to get the beer out. Fifty-five cans of untappable beer and no more beer money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6722

You deserved it

22423

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 7/3/2014 13:29 - United States - Needles

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's mom. She was driving us to a theme park that was about 2 hours away. She asked for the address to put into the GPS, so I gave it to her. It turned out to be a farm, an hour away from the park. So much for good first impressions. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39135

You deserved it

8879

Tweet

Share

By Sergie - 4/6/2010 09:28 - Ireland

Today, I was getting ready for my first day at work. Right before leaving the house I decided to brush my teeth thoroughly one more time to have a fresh breath. While cleaning my tongue I went too far which made me throw up. I was 20 min late for my work. Good start. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14150

You deserved it

28260

Tweet

Share

By Electric Eddy - 22/5/2017 00:00

Today, I got up at 2:30 a.m. to catch an early flight home. I was tired and drowsy and took a quick shower to wake me up. Two minutes in, the water turned scalding hot on all settings. I ended up having to rinse my hair with bottles of sparkling water from the hotel minibar. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4133

You deserved it

352

Tweet

Share

By cheekymac - 9/6/2010 15:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the airport baggage collection when I saw an old man struggling to get his very old and heavy suitcase off the belt before giving up. I had already collected my bag, but wanting to be helpful, the old man watched me as I grabbed his handle, yanked and snapped it clean off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33987

You deserved it

5746

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:25

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but in fact, it wasn’t her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21958

You deserved it

108714

Tweet

Share

By MAC. - 4/8/2012 09:33 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22999

You deserved it

5850

Tweet

Share

By skrillexblewme - 2/8/2012 16:30 - United States

Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26923

You deserved it

2381

Tweet

Share

By - 26/3/2019 00:00

Today, my husband told me that, to feel less unreliable, he was just going to stop saying he was going to do anything around the house. That way, when he actually did something (i.e. wash dishes), I could be pleasantly surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1965

You deserved it

269

Tweet

Share

By elizabethyeo - 20/2/2012 10:01 - Australia

Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML

I agree, your life sucks

10409

You deserved it

46099

Tweet

Share

By satanlovesme - 30/5/2009 23:22 - United States

Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

56712

You deserved it

8318

Tweet

Share

By fuck my goddamn life - 15/2/2014 20:51 - United States

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42421

You deserved it

4814

Tweet

Share

By Nickname - 28/7/2011 02:02 - United States

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42809

You deserved it

6195

Tweet

Share

By ReineXre - 15/6/2016 00:00

Today, I went to the bathroom in a mall. As I was in the stall, a woman tried to open it. I yelled out that's it was occupied but she kept shaking it to open it. It came up to the point where she had to crawl under the door to see that I was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15049

You deserved it

699

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 27/5/2013 23:34 - United States - Brimfield

Today, I got to wash my ex-wife's dishes at her apartment while her new boyfriend played with my daughter in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57900

You deserved it

12767

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/7/2015 18:11 - United States

Today, after months of hardcore training, free of injuries, I pinched a nerve in my neck while putting on a swimsuit to lie in the sun doing nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26822

You deserved it

2412

Tweet

Share

By EK - 16/2/2009 23:36 - United States

Today, in the middle of dinner, I went to rest my chin on my hand, missed, and stuck the straw from my drink straight up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42825

You deserved it

7790

Tweet

Share

By Noname - 22/1/2009 08:29 - United States

Today, my parents woke me up in the middle of the night when they got in a huge argument and started yelling at each other. I was up all night. They decided to make it up to each other. They kept me up all night again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44851

You deserved it

2506

Tweet

Share

By princess - 7/12/2015 14:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my 3 year old daughter's Halloween costume finally got delivered. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25892

You deserved it

2020

Tweet

Share

By sicktomystomach - 2/5/2009 17:05 - United States

Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

70565

You deserved it

5192

Tweet

Share

By HAIRY - 26/4/2012 20:23 - United States - Iowa City

Today, I was hanging out with some of my friends when I fell asleep. When I woke up, I found that they had shaved the F word into my arm. I don't know what is more disturbing: the fact that this is what my friends do for fun, or that I have enough arm hair to have four letters shaved into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24018

You deserved it

4389

Tweet

Share

By marriedtoaretard - 19/2/2012 22:45 - United States

Today, I came home from out of state. I found out someone online had told my husband that the "fumes" from hot showers can be lethal. As a precaution, he removed the draft-blocking bathroom door to make sure it's "properly ventilated." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23217

You deserved it

2523

Tweet

Share

By shoutoutloud2him - 5/12/2009 08:48 - United States

Today, I was at Home Depot getting a Christmas tree with my family. While picking out a tree, a man thought it would be nice to help cut off the string that held the tree together. The branches hit me in the face and the guy managed to cut my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27876

You deserved it

2573

Tweet

Share

By cargaljen - 21/10/2012 00:22 - United States

Today, my husband sweetly asked me, "You know what I'd really like to do if I had an extra $4,000?" Expecting a romantic answer, I asked what. He said, "I'd get you a tummy tuck." He still can't figure out what he said wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26739

You deserved it

4957

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/3/2009 07:18 - Canada

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

I agree, your life sucks

77221

You deserved it

13243

Tweet

Share

By Samantha - 31/5/2009 12:44 - Singapore

Today, I turned 22. Instead of cutting my own cake, I stood by and smiled at a friend's belated birthday party. She celebrated her birthday two months ago. She decided to have her party on my birthday. No one remembered mine but everyone got her beautiful gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

71713

You deserved it

5069

Tweet

Share

By Stupid - 22/12/2014 07:45 - Australia - Bellerive

Today, I waited thirty minutes for a bus that stopped running three weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30217

You deserved it

6782

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/1/2013 20:59 - Canada - Owen Sound

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36836

You deserved it

5966

Tweet

Share

By Bear - 10/7/2017 04:30

Today, while picking up my 14-year-old sister, a friend of hers ask if I was her mother. I'm only 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4634

You deserved it

364

Tweet

Share

By Me myself & I - 19/4/2016 01:09 - United States - Columbus

Today, my parents said they know I don't do drugs or drink because I have no friends to do drugs or drink with. They are right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20722

You deserved it

2002

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/6/2019 20:00

Today, I was walking on the street when a woman in front of me dropped a couple of dollars. I picked them up and chased her to return it all. She insisted that it wasn't hers. I tried to tell her it was, but she wouldn't accept it. A cop saw me and arrested me for solicitation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1885

You deserved it

165

Tweet

Share

By MrOh - 9/8/2011 17:29 - Canada

Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39577

You deserved it

4491

Tweet

Share

By OhNo. - 27/7/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I had a job interview, but I arrived kind of late. I was in so much of a hurry that I hit a woman walking by in the face with the door. I offered to drive her to the hospital. Turns out that she was going to be interviewing me. She didn't offer to reschedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37901

You deserved it

13642

Tweet

Share

By alice5000 - 7/11/2008 05:47 - France

Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML

I agree, your life sucks

17426

You deserved it

70017

Tweet

Share

By Idk anymore - 23/7/2019 17:00 - United States - Modesto

Today, I came out to my parents. My mom and dad think that I'm lying, just so I could "fit in" with everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1834

You deserved it

287

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/4/2014 18:09 - United States - Lakeland

Today, I found out that my three closest online friends are the same person: my obsessive ex. I met all three before he and I even started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45079

You deserved it

5682

Tweet

Share

By virginmary - 2/3/2010 12:38 - Reserved

Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24263

You deserved it

3819

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/6/2015 15:23 - United States - Austin

Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27135

You deserved it

5483

Tweet

Share

By JillianJuneBug - 17/8/2019 18:00

Mexican Standoff

Today, I had no choice but to use a public bathroom. I have issues going when there are others in the stalls, and apparently another person did as well. We both sat there in silence, waiting stubbornly for the other to give up and leave so we could go. It’s been 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1371

You deserved it

572

Tweet

Share

By OnPlanetVenus - 4/7/2013 04:41 - United States - Hallam

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

I agree, your life sucks

71241

You deserved it

6125

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By JCal585 | 8

#6049566 - Wednesday 27 August 2014 16:24

For real- do you think he's going to suddenly change if y'all got married? I wouldn't waste my time.. Find the man that can't wait to see you and hear all about your day and quit wasting time with immature fools.

By LittleSushi_fml | 13

#6049560 - Wednesday 27 August 2014 16:22

Well then dump him.

COMMENTS

By LittleSushi_fml | 13

#6049560 - Wednesday 27 August 2014 16:22

Well then dump him.

Reply

JMichael | 25

#6049590 - Wednesday 27 August 2014 16:35

Yea about a quarter past five.

Reply

laylaeve | 9

#6049764 - Wednesday 27 August 2014 19:38

Dump the d bag

Reply

steveykinz0967 | 16

#6049889 - Wednesday 27 August 2014 22:29

You may think it's that easy, but letting somebody you love go is challenging

Reply

VonBlitzkrieg | 27

#6051527 - Friday 29 August 2014 16:09

Why is it that in literally every single FML about relationships people try to get the OP to drink their SO? Do you think OP is going to read your comment and go like "Splendid. I shall do just that."?

By JCal585 | 8

#6049566 - Wednesday 27 August 2014 16:24

For real- do you think he's going to suddenly change if y'all got married? I wouldn't waste my time.. Find the man that can't wait to see you and hear all about your day and quit wasting time with immature fools.

Reply

EverestMelting | 23

#6049604 - Wednesday 27 August 2014 16:51

Okay this is jokey as fuck. Obviously this man probably isn't being serious about his response. This is either made up or just meant as a joke.

Reply

sashakotlik | 14

#6051113 - Friday 29 August 2014 5:43

Where did you get the topic of marriage from, OP never mentioned anything about marriage

By SamCat | 21

#6049567 - Wednesday 27 August 2014 16:24

Life is too short to stick with someone who doesn't appreciate you. If you love him, work on it. If you don't, keep it moving. He can be someone else's jerk.

Reply

RedPillSucks | 31

#6049583 - Wednesday 27 August 2014 16:30

She may love him, but it doesn't sound like he loves her back.
Not much to work on.

By Hiimhaileypotter | 52

#6049568 - Wednesday 27 August 2014 16:26

He won't ever change unless he wants to (and it doesn't sound like he does). Just keep that in mind, OP. Never try to change someone because it'll never work.

By itsalanis | 24

#6049569 - Wednesday 27 August 2014 16:26

Ask him if he knows anything else. If he's not taking the time to know you deeper and/or investing his time and effort into the relationship, then it looks like you might be wasting your time that could be spent on someone more deserving.

By kinky44 | 28

#6049570 - Wednesday 27 August 2014 16:26

Sorry OP, but it sounds like you need to cut your losses and leave him.

By lifesentence | 11

#6049571 - Wednesday 27 August 2014 16:26

well, he does, doesn't he?

By Mr_Ziza | 10

#6049572 - Wednesday 27 August 2014 16:27

Sorry op you don t deserve him

Reply

Hiimhaileypotter | 52

#6049576 - Wednesday 27 August 2014 16:28

Yeah, I agree. She definitely deserves better.

By Googolman | 29

#6049574 - Wednesday 27 August 2014 16:27

You should say, "Well, I know the name of your brother, don't I?"

Reply

Awesome_Ninjaz | 12

#6049697 - Wednesday 27 August 2014 18:52

What?

Reply

riddle143 | 15

#6049790 - Wednesday 27 August 2014 19:59

I think #9 is trying to say OP should drop the hint that she's cheating on her boyfriend with his brother, as if cheating is ever the answer.

Reply

jmdnba097 | 12

#6050102 - Thursday 28 August 2014 4:46

Or that knowing someone's name is not enough to be considered listening. Not necessarily that she is cheating

By A1BROS | 4

#6049582 - Wednesday 27 August 2014 16:30

A good joke with bad timing is a bad joke.