Love: Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the... - FML

By fmlfmlfml - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!". He got mad and left my house. It was my dad from Ohio. FML

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Triage

The smell detective is on the case

Let's go girls!

By Dudeman5000 - France

Today, I get home and there's a package waiting for me. I ordered something online 2 weeks ago for a girl I like. She's not available anymore. No refunds. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Avon

Today, there was an issue with the sewage system at work. It smelled like somebody took a turd, left it in the sun to marinate, threw up on it, then put in the air conditioning to fill the store with nauseating stink. I nearly threw up multiple times because we weren't allowed to leave early. FML

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By swiggityswooty - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I got the, "It's not you, it's me" speech for the third breakup in a row. I'm beginning to think that they may not be entirely telling me the truth. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/5/2020 23:00

Zoomed out

Today, I had a low blood sugar attack and almost passed out during class while over Zoom, which my professor then decided to bring attention to by calling me out for "sighing" about the research paper. FML

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By bigmozwoman - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was driving students home on my school bus. I looked up in time to see a student wipe what would be one of many boogers across the window. As I'm cleaning the window, I tell her, "This is disgusting." Her reply? "No, it's not. It's PERFECT!" FML

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By Garry - United States

Today, an exchange student was telling us how he once used a black light to detect semen stains on his "abstinent" ex-girlfriend's face. I called him out on the obvious lie, saying it's an old urban legend. He wigged out, screamed that I'm a "bastarding shite-wank" and ran out of class. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I got in an argument with my wife. I told her that I feel like she immediately disagrees with anything I say. She immediately disagreed and said she never does that. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife and I had one of the biggest arguments we've ever had, which resulted in her leaving, going to her parents' house and calling me twice, screaming and sobbing. The argument was over a seven dollar bottle of wine. Apparently, she was "saving it for a special occasion." FML

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By FUCKING POWER - United States - Wixom

Today, there was a power outage at my apartment. I ended up deciding that the power wasn't going to come on any time soon, and that I should go to a hotel for the night. Just after I unpacked at the hotel, my neighbor called to say the power had come back. FML

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By blehhx - United States

Today, I found out my cat is allergic to ME. No kidding. FML

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By Theresa - 10/10/2020 17:01

Man's best friend

Today, at my daughter's soccer game, my nephew's dog helped herself to the Snowball I was eating, leaving fur on the side she didn't lick and left it unsalvageable. She peed on the blanket I was sitting on, tried to bite another kid, and went on to pop my kid's soccer ball that she'd used twice since I purchased it. FML

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By partypooper - United Kingdom

Today, my parents are on holiday, which means I have the house to myself. Wild parties? Hot girls? Loads of beer? No. Flu. FML

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By Madagascar - Australia

Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML

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By birthday bash - France

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I am that loser. FML

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By waiterrrrrrrrr - United States

Today, I was working my shift at a fancy restaurant and it had been a really hard day. My parents came in to have dinner and surprise me. After paying, they left a note saying they would see me at home. It also said "By the way, no tip, because you stink at serving." FML

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By stunned - United States

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML

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By ollie_ollivia - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. Less than two minutes later, he decided he wasn't ready for the commitment. After I had already said yes. FML

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By LadyChristina25 - United States

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

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By lunchbox2353 - United States

Today, for 20 minutes, I watched my girlfriend use a mini flashlight to look for her keys in her purse. The flashlight was on her key chain. As were her keys. FML

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By lifesucks0925 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

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By bookworm - United States - Victoria

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Crowley

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

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By Forever Alone - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out that my mom bet my dad $100 that she could pay my boyfriend ten bucks to break up with me. She is now $90 richer. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only person who remembered was my dad who got me a phone charger for my car, which I didn't even need because he got me the same exact thing last year. FML

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By gmd05 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML

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By

Today, I have to pay my college an extra $1000 because there is a $20 charge every time you get locked out of your room, and I have an extremely poor short-term memory. I'm also only allowed to have exactly one keycard at any given time. FML

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By MacBook - United States

Today, my dad was in town for 1 day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dads slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. we talked for 15 minutes. FML

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By whoababy55 - United States

Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/4/2021 12:00 - Romania - Orsova

Gamers rise up

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after 2 years of being together. The reason? I don't enjoy playing video games as much as he does. FML

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By danggit3290 - United States

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Hatfield

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

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By post-loss

Today, in my excitement to make some new cards for the postcard exchange I take part in, I apparently spilled my bottle of glue directly into the bag that contains my entire postcard collection. I didn't notice until several hours later. FML

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By SimG - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

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By notsomuch - United States

Say Anything 2.0

Today, my ex-boyfriend's attempt to win me back involved standing at the bottom of my apartment building with two airhorns, blasting them and shouting. And for some reason, singing "Sweet Caroline", even though that's not my name. FML

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By jjcod - United Kingdom - London

Today, freshly dumped and at a bar, I focussed my attention on trying to stand in such a way that I looked like an attractive, alluring, confident person. Apparently I forgot how to successfully stand upright and sprained my ankle. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML

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By B.B - United States - New York

Today, my husband brought me breakfast in bed. Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful and love him even more for the thought. But the only problem with breakfast in bed is that you have to eat what they bring you, even if it's bad. FML

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By kkbb - United States

Today, I figured out it's the first time my roommate has done the dishes after living together an entire year, but I got to clean up the bubble waterfall that came pouring out of the dishwasher because she couldn't figure out where the detergent was supposed to go. FML

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By jlujan00 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML

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By

Error!

Today, I called my cell phone tech support to help with my Samsung device. They sent me contact info for Apple support. FML

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Top comments

By HumpDeBump17 | 4

#414083 - Monday 20 July 2009 20:04

Ouch, that sucks! He should have given you a chance to explain :(
Seriously, who pressed "YDI"? How does she deserve that in any way?

By DrunkIrishman | 0

#414084 - Monday 20 July 2009 20:05

That just seems weird that your dad says "Hey Baby"... But still, not really a FYL. Show him the sender; he'll be apologizing like crazy.

COMMENTS

By HumpDeBump17 | 4

#414083 - Monday 20 July 2009 20:04

Ouch, that sucks! He should have given you a chance to explain :(
Seriously, who pressed "YDI"? How does she deserve that in any way?

Reply

spoo | 24

#414287 - Monday 20 July 2009 21:15

someone who realizes that her dad isn't saved as a contact

Reply

FPsLife | 5

#414669 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:11

Or maybe she's just hiding her special lover's name as "Daddy"?!?

Reply

well_this_sucks | 0

#414817 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:56

she deserves it cuz she didn't bother to show her bf the sender "Dad". and fhl because her bf was too stupid to read "Dad".

Reply

madasahatter | 0

#415320 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 5:30

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

Moemoemoe_fml | 0

#415460 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 6:56

#70 Whut? There's Moms and dads all over who call their kids baby. O_o Nothing creepy there.

Reply

mermermer | 0

#417155 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 22:23

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

R3B3L | 0

#418616 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 10:00

ydi need to hav dad as a clear contact

Reply

emodude44 | 0

#1933794 - Thursday 6 January 2011 12:46

its a misunderstanding.

Reply

quinn128 | 8

#6087599 - Sunday 12 October 2014 14:34

i pressed YDI on accident

By DrunkIrishman | 0

#414084 - Monday 20 July 2009 20:05

That just seems weird that your dad says "Hey Baby"... But still, not really a FYL. Show him the sender; he'll be apologizing like crazy.

Reply

lubby_fml | 0

#414103 - Monday 20 July 2009 20:10

He meant it like hey baby like his child, not "hay babeh!"

But still your bf should have asked for an explanation before running out.

Reply

paperfox_fml | 0

#414341 - Monday 20 July 2009 21:41

Yeah, that's still weird.

Reply

DannyCovino | 0

#414750 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:35

I would also like to point out that it is also strange for him to say "hope to see you again". Hes your dad....

Reply

Butterbuns | 1

#414772 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:47

Except not everyone lives with both or either of their parents? So...understandable that it's "hope to see you"

Reply

CyclonePsycho | 1

#415117 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 3:23

? My dad calls me 'baby' all the time. It's just like honey, sweetie, sug' (short for sugar), etc. Lawl, maybe it's different here in the South, but those are not really pet names for lovers, more like for children. Hey guys, there's a world at side your room, y'know. /shrug

Reply

missabbey | 3

#4480621 - Friday 25 May 2012 15:50

My dad calls me baby all the time..it's not weird

Reply

pippacrawford | 4

#4533201 - Wednesday 6 June 2012 22:43

My dad still calls me "baby" or "baby girl" even though I'm 22. I don't think it's weird :)

Reply

icekitten14 | 12

#6089100 - Tuesday 14 October 2014 3:58

66, I agree. Here in the south it is usually just a term of endearment from father to daughter.

Reply

clawstrophobic | 15

#6432563 - Sunday 11 October 2015 17:10

People from the South are more loving

By Wittlestalker | 0

#414086 - Monday 20 July 2009 20:05

This isn't that terrible. Hopefully you can talk to him about it and he'll get over it. C:

By Reyna_fml | 0

#414088 - Monday 20 July 2009 20:05

daaaaaaaang that sucks . you guys over ?

By colourmealy | 0

#414098 - Monday 20 July 2009 20:08

Did'nt he see who sent it while reading the text?

Reply

123sploosh | 0

#414250 - Monday 20 July 2009 20:57

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

cooorah | 0

#415314 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 5:27

Didn't you learn how to use capitalization in grade school?

Reply

divineinstrument | 2

#416001 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 14:04

#69 wins

Reply

postermelt | 0

#416717 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 19:28

No he or she doesn't. It's the internet. Get over yourself.

By Haeron | 0

#414104 - Monday 20 July 2009 20:10

YDI for having a dad that loves you.

But seriously, what a dick. Talk to him about it. (I mean the bf of course!)

Reply

missabbey | 3

#4480627 - Friday 25 May 2012 15:52

What the heck????? How does op deserve it cuz her dad loves her?? U sir r stupid

Reply

Kikiers21042 | 18

#6317761 - Friday 12 June 2015 2:03

I think she was just joking...

By midwestjerk | 0

#414111 - Monday 20 July 2009 20:13

That sucks, but the "Hey baby" is a bit of a creepy salutation from your dad.

I'm sure you can show him who sent the text and be fine, though.

By sillyking44 | 0

#414113 - Monday 20 July 2009 20:14

He should have saw who it was from in the text message, F his life for being an idiot.

By M13LO | 0

#414123 - Monday 20 July 2009 20:17

your better off now

By alexgisforme3 | 0

#414145 - Monday 20 July 2009 20:20

just explain to ur bf that it was ur dad. id tell him to stop checking my phone...that really isnt needed