Love: Today, my boyfriend and I made a date to try to save our relationship....

By adsfkerfmpo - 30/07/2009 08:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I made a date to try to save our relationship. I sat in his room for hours while he watched YouTube videos of World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 532

You deserved it 7 891

Love

Good kid

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

Great parenting, mom

By ThaBoss12 - 01/11/2014 22:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 679

You deserved it 3 510

By StungAlot - 12/06/2019 06:18

Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I writhed in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet, that I'm embarrassing him. He also mentioned that jellyfish were out today and that I should be careful. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 174

A pasting for pasties

By Anonymous - 11/07/2021 14:01 - United Kingdom

Today, some bloke pushed me to the floor and kicked me twice in the head so he could steal, no joke, the two Greggs pasties I just bought. He wasn’t homeless either, he had designer jeans and a giant iPhone, and he did it in broad daylight with witnesses. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 54

By lisha182 - 20/02/2011 11:49 - Australia

Today, I got demoted from my manager's position, only to be replaced by a 21 year old who has never worked in retail in her life. I now have to spend the next month teaching her my job so they can fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 194

You deserved it 3 545

By Hello condoms and lube - 09/02/2016 21:53 - United Kingdom - Lewes

Today, I learnt what my boss meant when he said he would 'get his revenge on me' for winning a bet. I have to clean all the rooms that currently have a couple staying in it on February 15th. I don't want to work in a hotel anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 975

You deserved it 1 659

By Anonymous - 04/10/2009 21:40 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 661

You deserved it 48 773

By sarahrachel - 15/12/2015 03:30 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 961

You deserved it 5 017

By anonymous - 20/02/2015 23:49 - United States - Paragould

Today, it was snowing but I had to let my dog out, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I slipped, landed on him and ended up breaking his leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 400

You deserved it 7 070

In the zone

By fgs - 29/11/2020 23:01

Today, after joking with the guy I've been talking to for 8 months about his plans for my birthday, he told me he didn't want to 'lead me on' and wants to stay friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 150

By Firequeen - 21/11/2016 21:44

Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast food from the drive made me really need to poop, so I did my business and flipped on the air vent. Turns out the vent sparked a hot spot in the attic and caused a fire. I literally set my boyfriend's house on fire with my shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 322

You deserved it 996

By streaker? - 27/11/2015 14:21 - Germany - Langenhagen

Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 158

You deserved it 2 013

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 08:35 - United States

Today, I tried to fix my laptop charger by fiddling around with it using metal tweezers. Not only did I forget to unplug the cord and shocked myself, I also ended up breaking the charger completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 880

You deserved it 50 920

By he fucking smells like death! - 18/12/2018 13:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I was told what a bitch I am for turning down “the nice guy” after he surprised me with flowers and a hand painted portrait. He conveniently left out the part where he texted me multiple creepy porn links, doesn’t brush his teeth and has the personal hygiene of a farm animal! FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 031

You deserved it 373

By Anonymous - 14/01/2013 17:58 - United States - Arlington

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 866

You deserved it 9 985

By oh - 06/12/2013 21:20 - Denmark - Viborg

Today, my grandma commented on my Facebook profile picture: "That's a great photo! It doesn't look anything like you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 933

You deserved it 3 679

By uthinkucandraw - 27/02/2009 21:19 - United States

Today, I flew into New Zealand to surprise my girlfriend on her trip. In the New Zealand Airport I received a text message saying she wanted to break up with me. I live in Michigan and just spent $1,500 for this romantic surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 537

You deserved it 7 332

By Username - 31/08/2011 07:36 - United States

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 325

You deserved it 59 836

By Biologyfacepalm - 03/03/2014 19:58 - United States

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 633

You deserved it 4 901

Mixed signals

By Anonymous - 13/07/2020 20:02

Today, I had the girl of my dreams in my bed. She was laughing and smiling, kissing and talking. It was great. Then suddenly she said, "I want to go home; is that rude?" Then she left. I called, but now I'm blocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 249

By Anonymous - 02/05/2014 19:51 - United States

Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh". Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 680

You deserved it 4 438

By anonymous - 13/09/2015 15:34 - Luxembourg

Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 905

You deserved it 2 866

Sorry

By Anonymous - 23/09/2013 18:06 - United States - Olympia

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 711

You deserved it 5 062

By Anonymous - 15/05/2016 21:10 - United States - Southfield

Today, I found out it's possible to dislocate your jaw just by yawning. Now I'm in the ER, looking like a total psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 262

You deserved it 1 381

By zombieguyswife - 28/06/2012 23:44 - United States - Branson

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 027

You deserved it 3 967

By Anonymous - 30/04/2014 05:17 - United States - Muncy

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 759

You deserved it 6 140

By trembelwick - 03/12/2011 10:04 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 660

You deserved it 6 031

By Anonymous - 12/01/2015 09:46 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 216

You deserved it 7 741

By StillBurning - 19/08/2017 01:30

Today, I enjoyed my favourite pizza topped with jalapeños for an extra kick. I later got to feel that kick a second time as I vomited in the middle of the night. Some came out my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 657

You deserved it 645

By Jessica - 19/03/2011 21:13 - Romania

Today, at 21 years of age, my doctor confirmed that I am, indeed, going bald. It wouldn't be such a bad thing, even expected, if I wasn't a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 360

You deserved it 3 463

Gift for you

By safetyfirst - 14/07/2010 15:17 - Taiwan

Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 392

You deserved it 21 362

By Obi1Shinobi - 30/10/2012 14:27 - United States

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 056

You deserved it 4 646

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 21:56 - Isle of Man

Today, I went to the toilet during drama, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 868

You deserved it 47 511

Nice victim blaming, dude

By Awkward - 26/11/2021 16:58 - Netherlands

Today, I had to tell my boyfriend his dad was sending me inappropriate texts that made me feel uncomfortable. I tried to make him stop, but he kept going until I felt like I needed to tell my boyfriend. Who's now broken up with me because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 79

By Anonymous - 19/01/2013 00:26 - Iceland

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 388

You deserved it 15 559

By llord - 24/08/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, I found out that my engagement ring was actually my husband's ex-fiancée's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 572

You deserved it 3 926

By Anonymous - 22/01/2010 22:08 - Canada

Today, I was lying on the couch after having surgery on my stomach. My best friend and my mom thought that laughter would be the best medicine. Due to their medicine, I ripped out half my stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 836

You deserved it 2 568

Getting frisky

By KindStranger - 04/01/2020 20:00 - United Kingdom - Shrewsbury

Today, I was walking home when I thought I saw a man beating up a woman in a phone box, I opened the door and pulled the man of the woman, turns out they where just "getting frisky" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 943

You deserved it 514

By Anonymous - 17/08/2009 22:11 - Canada

Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 741

You deserved it 22 625

By harry - 04/12/2009 05:55 - Hong Kong

Today, I started growing hair on my upper lip. I'm finally becoming a man! Too bad I'm a 17 year old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 933

You deserved it 5 190

By Kira - 24/04/2015 17:09 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 872

You deserved it 13 512

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Top comments

irishdubr 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 16:15

And ur trying to save this relationship why?

Jemm_fml 29

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Thursday 30 July 2009 16:23

The more sensible thing would be to save YOURSELF from the relationship. o_0

irishdubr 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 16:15

And ur trying to save this relationship why?

uhmfml 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 16:18

exactly what I was thinking. OP, just give up

genius_man16 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 17:04

^^ my question exactly. He watches YouTube over spending time with you? Please get rid of this loser ASAP.

Trollinggx3 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 19:01

YDI for dating some WoW fag.

MastaHorse 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 19:02

F*** dude... I'm in the same situation trying to get my boyfriend to spend time with me, when all he does is sit at his computer playing wow... I feel for you, and i don't know how to fix it as of yet.

letitbe56 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 19:38

Yeah, seriously. Some relationships aren't worth saving.

Necrophile_fml 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 19:39

Dump him, he'll only understand what a relationship is when he stops having one.

esquared77 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 21:20

You have no idea how many relationships and marriages that game has destroyed...

DameGreyWulf 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 21:23

And it's not even that fun of a game. :c

Mirequetz 6

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Thursday 30 July 2009 23:21

Meh, I play WoW, so does my boyfriend. We're noy lame enough to let it consume our time like a lot of peopel do though. Some of those Youtube vids are pretty funny :p

DameGreyWulf 0

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Friday 31 July 2009 0:15

Ah, yeah, that.. uh.. Oxsomething guy makes some pretty funny ones. (Watch, his name is actually something unbelievably simple and easy to remember, and yet I still couldn't)

Liariah 6

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Friday 31 July 2009 1:22

It's Oxhorn.

DameGreyWulf 0

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Friday 31 July 2009 5:48

I knew it'd be simple.

like_omg_kid 0

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Friday 31 July 2009 11:27

it really is(: just gotta know how to play and stuff.

DameGreyWulf 0

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Saturday 1 August 2009 2:45

No, you can know how to play and still not like it. It's not that hard to figure out... I personally found it just like every other RPG: Same basics with some different details.

sobe23 0

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Saturday 1 August 2009 21:05

good point. dump the loser.

fireshaper87 0

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Friday 21 August 2009 1:48

The only way to deal with that is to dump his sorry ass. That's what I did when every time I went to visit my long distance boyfriend, he spent more time on WoW than with me. WoW addicts are just that: addicts. You wouldn't stay with an alcoholic or a junkie would you? I'm a geek. I love Star Wars, D&D, and go to SciFi conventions. It's not 'cause he's a geek or a nerd. It's just 'cause he's an asshole.

tyrecius 4

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Tuesday 18 September 2012 11:58

At the same time, she's also probably sitting there going "Yeah, hunny, go ahead. Don't mind me." :p

thesweetfailure 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 16:18

He probably wanted to preview the upcoming 3.2 patch!

ReasonsToFly 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 19:57

LEEEERROOOOOYY JEEENNKIINSSS

Travestie616 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 20:47

You win ^_^ And OP, you just.. lose.

abscured 0

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Friday 14 August 2009 16:55

U lucky baster! we wowers in china had 2 suffer much more 2 play the stipid game, beside GF's talking we have 魔兽寡妇 wow-widow 2in china,sorry 4 them

Idonebeenhad 17

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Monday 11 July 2011 6:45

^^ w-what??? You know what, just shut up and go farm me some gold.

Noass 0

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Thursday 30 July 2009 16:19

Epic Phail

bubblemari 2

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Thursday 30 July 2009 17:07

lmfao ur an epic fail! XD im sorry but philn? plz! :D

Jemm_fml 29

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Thursday 30 July 2009 16:23

The more sensible thing would be to save YOURSELF from the relationship. o_0

Alexgoesfml 3

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Thursday 30 July 2009 17:58

Yeah. what I was thinking. Also, was him watching youtube videos his idea of a date or was he just too addicted to WoW to want to go on a date. Also a date isn't my idea of trying to save a relationship.