By awkward - 26/07/2013 18:00 - United States - Yorba Linda

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks 72 053
You deserved it 7 232

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Doen't matter. Still had sex.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Uh huh.

Wizardo 33

As Cleveland says, "you need to put more enthusiasm in your voice".

Doesn't matter, had snu snu.

then000bster 16

How could you guys comment in such a way. It was the most uncomfortable thing in my life reading them.

Sorry bud but I have to. Doesn't*

Probably the only time that comment is acceptable.

and boom goes the dynamite

This thread is weird.

#32 it's a shame no one got the Futurama reference ;-;

Seriously a shame no one got the Futurama reference. I was under the impression that the FML community was way over the whole "doesn't matter, had sex" thing. I would have figured the new spin would have been well recieved.

I was under the impression that was a Southpark reference?

"she put a bag on my head"

The best 30 seconds of my life.

Haha yeah for him maybe... Op you just need to find yourself a real man. But if you're planning on putting yourself through that again return the favor and don't moan at all. In fact, grab your phone and post another FML while he's still inside of you. I bet you he'll change his tune real quick.

Lumbergh: You can just go ahead and move a little bit to the left. Yeah, that's it. Great.

we got the reference. but it's old

sexyboi1985 27

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Or maybe he's mildly autistic.

#48, maybe you're a big ol' bag o' dicks.

etoilenuit 15

I can't say anything in a monotone when I'm having sex... Maybe he was bored..

Anyone else instantly think of Lumberg in Office Space?

Uh-huh. yeah. Not too bad...

Yeah. Um, this experience... Kinda sucks, fair to say uh huh

Nuh uh! Nope! That's too bad OP. Let's hope for a better fuck next time

Why don't y'all call it a day.

I'm terribly sorry the first time didn't go through as you wanted. I would've suggested more communication here but seeing as that is the problem...

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Ultimawolf25 19

^ Unless he was very nervous or it was his first time ever? Not everyone has to have porn-like sound effects when they have sex.

Umm ya do have those TSA reports done. Is what comes to mind

TPS reports. And yes I immediately thought office space also.

TheCutestLizard 28

Like a record.

Shoulda stopped and asked him what his problem is.

Zimmington 21

Maybe she's one of those girls that just lay there during sex.

firstbasemaster 15

At least he didnt say hes had better

He basically did.

First times almost never go the way you think they should....sorry OP

It gets better! Promise!

That'll do, pig. That'll do.


Epikouros 31

Thanks, Klinger!

My pleasure, Pleasure Pig.