Love: Today, my boyfriend and I came across the topic of school while... - FML

By steph2052 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came across the topic of school while chatting. He asked me what high school I went to and where I moved from. I have lived here my whole life, he was my crush for four years, and was in my classes throughout those years. He doesn't believe me. FML

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Headache

FML every way you look at it

Backwards world

By Need To Bathe In Deodorant - United Kingdom - Egham

Today, it's so insanely hot that no matter how often I shower or use deodorant the smell of my armpits makes me feel physically sick. FML

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By hannieannie - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

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By lostintdot - Canada - Kitchener

Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML

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By Xpresss - United States

Today, I came into work with a new hair cut and so far everyone has asked me If I lost a bet. FML

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By theDiva - Malta

Today, I am down to 3 euros. My mother just stole the last two euros from me. I asked what she needed them for? Condoms. My mother can have safe sex. I can't buy lunch tomorrow. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my walk of shame may have been caught by the Google car. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I spent 900 dollars on a ticket for my boyfriend to visit me and he missed the flight. FML

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By daddyslittlegirl250 - United States

Today, we watched a movie in French class. I went on a French exchange last year, so I wanted to sound all impressive and cultured for my crush who is in the same class. I said that it was my favorite movie and I couldn't wait to watch it with everyone. The movie turned out to be about incest. FML

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By Eloise

Today, I went on my third date with a great guy. We finally got round to talking about his tattoos. All 57 are related to his best friend. All of them. The best friend he never stops talking about. Somehow I don't think this will work out. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Jacinto

Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML

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By JackAttack - United States

Today, my mom just handed me a book called "100 Ways To Motivate Yourself." FML

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By cerulean

Today, a nurse berated me for not being able to lift my leg myself so she could put a cast on. My leg is broken in two places. FML

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By TimeForANewJob

Today, at work, my colleague started to look for a new job. For me. FML

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By marryinghimanyway - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I announced my engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone my wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year, so "she has to get married first!" My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML

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By dragonstooth257

Today, I'm so bad at people skills when I got a call to set up a job interview, I weirded the lady out so much that she trailed off when talking about emailing me a time. This took 2 minutes to achieve. A new record. I still haven't got an email. FML

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By Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't kiss me because there was a picture of Superman on my shirt. FML

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By msamberjade - 30/1/2020 20:00 - United States - Columbus

New movie

Today, my boyfriend came home with three of his best friends and broke up with me in front of them. Then, when I asked if we could talk privately, he filmed it for "documentation". FML

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By isystuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and left me crying in the street. I then got a text from my mom saying how pathetic my love life was. Apparently, it was a mass text message and she accidentally added me to the list. FML

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By KayIsKiwi99 - United States - Houston

Today, I realized after turning in my resume to over 100 job openings over the past month, that the resume I've been submitting does not have my phone number or any other contact information besides my name. FML

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By Blöde Gans - United States - Ormond Beach

Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face" while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

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By MikeMoosey - United States

Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML

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By insurance lies - United States

Today, I had to get an MRI. I double and triple checked to make sure there was no out-of-pocket cost. When I arrived at the testing center, I was expected to pay full price for the test. It costs $2,360. FML

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By kennyjhynes - United States

Today, I drove 12 hours with 6 screaming little girls. They were arguing about things that should've been in the Lego movie. They watched it 4 times. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML

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By K.S.S. - United States - Rushville

Today, when I tried to break up with my girlfriend of 2 years, she had no idea we were even dating. She thought of all the movies, dinners and "sleep overs" I had with her was because we were such great friends. FML

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By tammy999 - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend bumped into me at McDonald's. I was sitting alone at a table with a big mac, two large fries, a large drink and 1 case of chicken nuggets. FML

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By pixie09 - United States

Today, I got sentenced to 20 hours community service for having a boy in my room an hour after floor hours. If I don't do the community service, I could get kicked out of the dorm and put on probation at my college. We were breaking up. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML

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By backtosquareone - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, after months of searching, I was offered a job. After hearing how excited I was on the phone, HR docked the initial salary offer by 40% in the written contract. She said it was non-negotiable. Guess I'm back to job hunting. FML

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By stillchubby - Australia

Today, I was thinking about my new diet and workout plan as I was getting dressed in the morning, feeling much thinner and more energetic. Just as the thought passed through my brain, the button on my skirt popped off. FML

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By ice_dancer_jake

Today, after spending the day at work avoiding all hard manual tasks that may harm me, I had a table dropped on my foot. I broke my toe, split my nail and had to get a tetanus shot. I was avoiding injury as I was supposed to be performing in a figure skating exhibition this evening. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my partner and I were spending quality time with a newly single friend. She quoted some song lyrics, saying "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife...". We all laughed, and then my partner said "Boy, you got THAT right." FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML

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By Boss Troubles - United States - Anaheim

Today, my boss insisted I go in front of him up the stairs. Out of respect, I insisted he go first. After a few seconds of back and forth insisting, he went. The reason he wanted me to go first was because he had to fart. I inhaled the raunchy gas for over three flights of stairs. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/1/2021 11:01

One law for me, one law for thee

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a poly relationship. He said he wants to sleep with other people, but I can't in case I get feelings for them. Thats not what poly means, dude. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, as I'm pregnant, my mom came over to do some nice things for me, such as clean my kitchen and cook a large pot of my favorite soup. When she left, I took a nap, planning to eat later. I woke up to find my roommates had trashed my kitchen and eaten all my soup. FML

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By Anonymous - Malawi

Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML

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By balloonface - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I finally treated myself and bought my first moisturizer. The woman at Sephora promised it would "retexturize my face." If by "retexturize" she meant, "make it feel like a rubber balloon," then she was right on the money. FML

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Top comments

By FightingTheStorm | 0

#2881008 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 9:06

at least you guys are together now, right?

By marmots | 0

#2881043 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 9:08

Get a yearbook out, show him your picture, problem solved.

COMMENTS

By FightingTheStorm | 0

#2881008 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 9:06

at least you guys are together now, right?

Reply

theunknowned | 1

#2881102 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 9:18

maybe he was too concentrated on school like a good boy ;)

Reply

Lacris | 0

#2881276 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 10:08

idk about you guys but I think this post is just so sweet. lol

Reply

allenye818 | 2

#2881289 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 10:11

I totally agree! I would have been thrilled to end up with my crush even if it was post-high school. Op should focus on the bright side.

Reply

ilovecookies83 | 0

#2881296 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 10:12

Time to bring out the yearbook!

Reply

fthislyfe | 22

#2881315 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 10:16

Girl it's awesome you're finally with your crush!

Reply

herrobear | 0

#2881347 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 10:32

I actually managed to get the guy of my dreams who never noticed me in high school. FML.

Reply

JoeTheMan12 | 0

#2881432 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 11:04

you gotta be kidding me getting in between him and his high school education...craziest thing I heard in a while...sheeesh

Reply

Slim2306 | 10

#2881530 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 12:01

agreed 28. she seems pretty lucky.

Reply

juicedboi | 7

#2884839 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 20:37

You were just another brick in the wall.

Reply

FMMFL1992 | 3

#2886758 - Thursday 14 July 2011 1:52

That's sucks but I agree, you ended up with your crush so it's ll good

Reply

dayshiayang | 2

#2886796 - Thursday 14 July 2011 2:00

i knew that was tom as your picture! :D

Reply

FightingTheStorm | 0

#2887086 - Thursday 14 July 2011 2:53

;)

Reply

starrysky4 | 0

#2888221 - Thursday 14 July 2011 6:31

this is your boyfriend? and he didnt already know which school you went to?

By sonusingh | 0

#2881010 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 9:06

u might of been ugly in ur high school years

Reply

vickill | 0

#2882237 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 14:02

lol yep

Reply

Justforlolz | 14

#2883578 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 17:58

You never learned to spell properly in your elementary years.
Derp.

Reply

fckdupzf | 0

#2884260 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 19:27

I dnt think so. if she was that ugly or stupid he wouldve defintly remembered her. I think she was a normal shy/reserved girl.
or maybe her bf was too involved in sb else to notice her.

By marmots | 0

#2881043 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 9:08

Get a yearbook out, show him your picture, problem solved.

Reply

jjpj99 | 0

#2881246 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 9:56

Genious! (did I spell that right?)

Reply

ilovecookies83 | 0

#2881310 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 10:14

Genius :)

Reply

MrSassypants | 32

#2881322 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 10:19

26 we all know what you're trying to do but just stop it. Everyone makes spelling mistakes. Grammar Nazis are going to correct you no matter what. Hey, some might even correct me on a mistake on this comment but who cares? It's just a grammar Nazi.

Reply

liquidfireKAN | 0

#2882417 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 14:49

Uhm.. I don't know about you but I think being corrected by a grammar just means you can't tell small differences in words which you should have learned in grade 3, so you should be glad someone is trying to help you.

By dreamering | 16

#2881045 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 9:08

Didn't you understand that he was high all that time?

Reply

kaykay9080 | 5

#2882194 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 13:45

WIN.

By youliketacos | 0

#2881052 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 9:09

He's.... a keeper..?

By luongo6 | 0

#2881054 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 9:09

ha u got SCHOOLED

Reply

lalala2589 | 0

#2881092 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 9:16

That was one of the worst puns I have ever heard-_-

Reply

loveexgirl | 15

#2881104 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 9:19

I agree with 13 ..

Reply

josh5634 | 0

#2881506 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 11:45

i agree with 18...

Reply

commietaco | 0

#2882422 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 14:50

C-C-C-Combo breaker.

Reply

Gloritank | 8

#2882428 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 14:52

i agree with 49

By KiaMaster | 0

#2881061 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 9:11

so u upgraded from stalker to girlfriend... good work!

Reply

margie84 | 0

#2882548 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 15:27

lmao classic

By lalala2589 | 0

#2881063 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 9:11

How on earth do you crush on someone for four years, when they don't even know you?
Were you crushing on him or stalking him?

Reply

MMachina1 | 0

#2881396 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 10:48

The other person doesn't need to know you for you to have a crush on them...

Reply

lalala2589 | 0

#2884500 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 19:57

Seems a little peculiar to crush on someone you've never talked to or hung out with.

By regsworld11 | 2

#2881065 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 9:12

Well at least you guys are together now and that is all that matters! Not many people notice EVERYONE their high school years.

By foilindo | 0

#2881070 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 9:12

were you that bad looking that he didn't care to look?! wow. feel bad for you!! :-(

Reply

lalala2589 | 0

#2881108 - Wednesday 13 July 2011 9:20

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about our high school lives when I found out she was the creep who stalked me for all 4 years. FML.