Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear,...

By sucks - 5/1/2011 07:41 - Netherlands

Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear, but my co-worker chuckled so to be polite, I laughed with him. They gave me some weird looks. My boss was actually talking about his wife's tumor and my co-worker was coughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12721

You deserved it

34439

Favorite

Work

Time don't heal nothing

Alexa, play "Hey! Student" by The Fall

Who's a good boy?

By ouch - 16/4/2013 16:17 - United States - Nashville

Today, for the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up for his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML

I agree, your life sucks

45079

You deserved it

6064

Favorite

By kodijack - 25/1/2010 18:13 - United States

Today, I got stuck behind a guy riding his bike 20 mph below the speed limit. I honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled, before finally managing to overtake him. Once I got home, I went outside to get the paper, and discovered that the biker lives just two doors down from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8633

You deserved it

35039

Favorite

By Anonymous - 30/7/2015 19:29 - Canada - Foam Lake

We need to talk

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32395

You deserved it

2929

Favorite

By Single - 19/8/2010 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He also decided the best way to end our relationship was to kill me and our virtual child on The Sims 3 by setting us on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42341

You deserved it

6854

Favorite

By Ouch - 28/2/2015 02:25 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I broke my leg. My mom told me I still have to go to tennis class tomorrow because the course isn't refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32636

You deserved it

2411

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/3/2014 02:09 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41158

You deserved it

16759

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/1/2012 21:05 - United States

Today, I had my first chorus concert. We got a bigger applause when we left the stage than when we sang. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24439

You deserved it

6768

Favorite

By arghhh - 3/8/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, I finished my internship working in a government lab. I got paid $4000 for the summer. I was talking to my cousin, who said that when he worked as a carnie last summer he made $8000. I get paid half as much for doing research as a carnie does for serving people sno-cones. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39626

You deserved it

5647

Favorite

By Anonymous - 13/7/2012 23:14 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I'm still freshly circumcised. My penis is still very sensitive, and I can't squat to grab stuff off the floor because of the pressure against my jeans. Kicking the objects up into my hands was working well, that is until I spilled a pack of 300 toothpicks all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32803

You deserved it

7806

Favorite

By Anonymous - 18/7/2009 04:21 - United States

Today, I just found out that my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend are rooming together at college. Visits are going to be extremely awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56366

You deserved it

6716

Favorite

By ... - 7/2/2014 20:30 - United States - Glen Carbon

Today, I told my professor that I'll be missing class next week due to upcoming surgery. I asked if I could take the exam that I'd otherwise miss another day. He said no, and that I'd just have to take a failing grade, then wished me luck with the surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54643

You deserved it

4049

Favorite

By anonymous - 28/7/2012 13:26 - Lebanon

Today, I went on an overnight airplane flight. I wanted to be comfy so I took off my shorts, threw a blanket over myself, and slept. When the lights came back on, I ran to the bathroom before they served food. After using the bathroom, I noticed I hadn't put my shorts back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7717

You deserved it

42216

Favorite

By Anonymous - 7/2/2011 11:43 - Australia

Today, I was walking to the shops when I saw my friend about 10 metres in front of me, waiting at the traffic lights, by herself. Jokingly, I shouted out "Who's that really ugly person waiting at the lights?" The girl turned around. It wasn't my friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11918

You deserved it

44970

Favorite

By mud - 29/11/2019 05:00 - United States - Raleigh

Slippy!

Today, I was on my way to class and it was muddy outside, so I slipped and it looks like I shit myself. I'm wearing white pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1782

You deserved it

417

Favorite

By virginmary - 6/12/2009 08:07 - United States

Today, my mom told me that I am going to end up getting myself pregnant. I am 21 and a virgin. She continued to yell at me and call me a liar all night. I don't know which is worse, being a 21 year old virgin or my mother accusing me of lying about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37345

You deserved it

3163

Favorite

By Anonymous - 18/8/2011 13:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43621

You deserved it

3434

Favorite

By mustachioed - 29/9/2012 05:06 - United States

Today, I tried to bleach my upper lip hair. I now have a bright red mustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18004

You deserved it

18719

Favorite

By Meghan Elise - 6/7/2019 02:41

Today, my boyfriend and I dyed our hair. His hair came out good. My hair, on the other hand, came out splotchy, and instead of dark blue, it came out green. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1218

You deserved it

539

Favorite

By Pseudo - 21/6/2016 05:33 - France - Vitry-le-fran?ois

Today, I asked my little cousin if he had a girlfriend if he had a girlfriend. “Yes,“ he said. “Two, but I’m going to keep the one with the biggest boobs.“ He’s 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13210

You deserved it

1515

Favorite

By samsterling - 13/3/2016 22:30 - United States - Blacksburg

Today, I paid $500 for a gym membership after moving into a brand new house, since 12 years of software development has taken its toll. When I told my instructor about my goal to lose 35lbs in two months, he simply said, "Yeah... That's not going to happen. Try another gym," and left promptly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18239

You deserved it

4137

Favorite

By lgt5628 - 26/9/2014 23:58 - United States - Miami

Today, a man approached my delivery van and asked for change for a $5 bill. I guess I should've expected him to grab the change and run off with the extra money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32603

You deserved it

6597

Favorite

By too tight - 15/2/2012 11:26 - United States

Today, in a rush to get ready, I put on some "sexy" panties that I bought years ago. By the second hour of work, they were so tight and uncomfortable, I had to cut slits up the sides to avoid cutting off the circulation to my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21202

You deserved it

13980

Favorite

By wayne - 7/12/2011 10:28 - New Zealand

Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34577

You deserved it

3528

Favorite

By Anonymous - 30/7/2019 06:10 - Australia

Today, I was getting ready for a date, so to avoid stinky pits, I went to put some deodorant on. However, when I raised my arm to apply it, I almost sliced my hand off when I raised it right into the ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1218

You deserved it

646

Favorite

By Anonymous - 9/5/2009 14:48 - United States

Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23367

You deserved it

118948

Favorite

By cantwin - 31/5/2013 13:54 - Belgium - Zwevegem

Today, I visited my grandma. Shortly after I arrived, she freaked out after finding a "snake" in her closet. It was a rubber snake that my brother must have put there yesterday as a prank. I picked it up and told her it was fake. She then yelled at me for playing such a disgusting prank on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44321

You deserved it

3697

Favorite

By Lily - 21/2/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, I came to school late because I had to drop off my daughter at school. When I got on campus, the security told me I was late but I said, "Oh no, I work here." and he said, "Oh like I haven't heard that one before." And he took me to detention. My boss, the Principal, had to bail me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50334

You deserved it

3240

Favorite

By hannahisacooler - 16/7/2013 23:41 - United States - Chino Hills

Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51181

You deserved it

3808

Favorite

By Robert Herrin - 14/8/2018 18:30

Kinky Crab

Today, I fell asleep with my hermit crab on my bed and woke up to him pinching my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks

963

You deserved it

1957

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/10/2010 07:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend, who held me and promised it'd be all right, and he'd never leave me. One sandwich later, he'd forgotten about the whole thing, and dumped me when I reminded him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41996

You deserved it

5973

Favorite

By PeeLeg - 11/3/2013 07:43

Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years. I also found out later that symbol stands for urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10508

You deserved it

50953

Favorite

By abjoro - 25/5/2017 16:00

Today, I found out that the cute guy who sits in front of me in class and who keeps looking at me over his right shoulder is not interested in me as I had been led to believe. He has mild Tourrette's and his tick happens to be scratching his chin over his right shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3983

You deserved it

421

Favorite

By DuChaillu - 27/1/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12065

You deserved it

27655

Favorite

By Nicky_ham - 6/1/2016 04:56 - Canada - Regina

Today, a 65-ish year-old man told me that he's married and not supposed to look at other women, but that I tempt him. All while sitting next to his wife, who then told me I was going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24501

You deserved it

1618

Favorite

By replik - 25/1/2012 15:50 - Russian Federation

Today, I got stuck for a while in a hallway between two security doors due to a malfunction. I'm not claustrophobic, but I sure am sensitive to horrifying smells coming from a nearby bathroom stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24073

You deserved it

2138

Favorite

By CalyenaL - 13/5/2012 01:35 - Mexico - Tijuana

Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29631

You deserved it

3112

Favorite

By Anonymous - 30/11/2017 22:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, my 14-year-old sister came into the bathroom while I was in it. When she saw me, she said sorry and left. Little did I know, she took my electric toothbrush to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6575

You deserved it

516

Favorite

By embarrassedmom - 18/5/2009 01:19 - United States

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

I agree, your life sucks

104081

You deserved it

25675

Favorite

By scared - 2/10/2011 21:21 - United States

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30272

You deserved it

3406

Favorite

By Anonymous - 1/11/2014 05:47 - United States - Queen Creek

Today, I dressed up as my friend for Halloween. He has a very distinct style and I thought my costume was pretty clever. When he saw me, he said he had never been so offended in his entire life, and now I feel like a complete asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32443

You deserved it

16420

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By glitter354 | 0

#1930810 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:08

Damn...next time just say "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you." There really is no good way to let your boss know what happened. So, FYL and YDI.

By Perksofbeingawal | 0

#1930807 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:06

Omg that's awful. I've been in that position one too many times... :/

Comments

By wenta | 1

#1930792 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:02

stuff like that happens to me all the time... you just learn not to be nosy.

Suavis | 4

#1930906 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:38

uhh.. they weren't being nosy?

Ronnie_loves_you | 11

#1930983 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 13:04

could just say you were laughing at something you remembered and that you didn't even hear'

HaloReachIsCool | 6

#1930989 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 13:05

Hearing Fail

you_and_me_fml | 8

#1930999 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 13:13

that was not very smart on your part haha.. just tell him what you thought happened and im sure he will understand

iSCREAMMM | 0

#1931079 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 14:05

Just pretend that you were coughing too.

ozzy4u | 0

#1931184 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 16:03

Hahahaha

By IgnorantAmerican | 0

#1930797 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:03

lol

mr_miyagi | 0

#1931659 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 21:29

hahajahahahahah tumors

By SomePinkTape | 0

#1930801 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:04

clean out your ears

Ariasmake_1 | 0

#1930850 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:16

more like clean out your office.

nybsucubos | 5

#1930890 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:31

BOOM HEADSHOT!

By theten_fml | 9

#1930805 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:06

this one actually made me laugh

By Perksofbeingawal | 0

#1930807 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:06

Omg that's awful. I've been in that position one too many times... :/

MagicMushrooms | 0

#1930914 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:39

That's what she said. Sorry.

Elmo_1526 | 6

#1931128 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 14:40

lmfao xD

By glitter354 | 0

#1930810 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:08

Damn...next time just say "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you." There really is no good way to let your boss know what happened. So, FYL and YDI.

urdirtyolduncle | 15

#1930829 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:11

cute puppy !!

tygerarmy | 35

#1930839 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:14

Exactly, it's better to to allow yourself to ask a stupid question and feel awkward then to do something awkward and feel stupid.

glitter354 | 0

#1930863 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:20

7 - thank you! She just died 2 months ago of cancer, she was 15 years old...FML

Emerant | 0

#1931119 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 14:30

Aw, I'm so sorry. She looks very sweet. :)

5t3ff1k4h | 44

#1931529 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 19:49

See, this is why OP should learn to never laugh at a joke unless they heard it clearly, especially if the person telling the "joke" wasn't even talking to them in the first place.

FYLorYDIohno | 12

#1933768 - Thursday 6 January 2011 12:39

51: Her boss just walked in the room and talked, it's not like they were talking to someone specific. So, basically her boss was talking to everyone in the room.

By bobkim302 | 0

#1930831 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:12

Holy crap! If you don't know what's going on just sit there and do nothing. I'm sure you feel bad too. This has happened to most of us at one time also.
It took years to just say or do nothing.