Work: Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear,...

By sucks - Netherlands

Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear, but my co-worker chuckled so to be polite, I laughed with him. They gave me some weird looks. My boss was actually talking about his wife's tumor and my co-worker was coughing. FML

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Work

Serious times

The smell detective is on the case

Mr Sensitivity

By JJ - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text saying: "I don't think we can see each other anymore, the nights were great, but I think I'm falling in love with Julie". I'm Julie. FML

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By Imwalkinghere - United States

Today, while I was walking to class, I was hit by a car. The driver stopped to let me cross in front of her, started moving again, hit me, and then yelled at me, saying it was my fault for walking in front of her. FML

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By rejectedmidair - United States

Today, I went through with my elaborate plans to propose to my girlfriend with creativity. I took her skydiving and proposed in midair. She rejected. Why? She wanted a more "traditional" proposal. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my wife informed me that she wants a boyfriend but doesn't want a divorce. Also, apparently I'm horrible for not "respecting her feelings" when I told her she can't have both. FML

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4518

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By foreveralone - Australia - Fitzroy

Today, I got friendzoned by three different women. Each girl suggested I should ask out one of the other two women who also friendzoned me. FML

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36214

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By Black - Lebanon

Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML

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38197

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By Sexless4Life - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I realized that it's been well over a month since my boyfriend has even tried to have sex with me. The last time was our first time, and because he couldn't keep it up, he's too humiliated to accept any of my advances. FML

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By dragonstooth257

Today, I confessed to my husband that I quoted Lightning McQueen in an interview and got my dream job because of it. He wont stop laughing and telling my friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2022

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By UniGrad2019 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, after months of all my friends telling me that the guy whom I was in love with most definitely held feelings for me, I was finally convinced by their words, and with confidence I went and confessed my feelings to him. I was rejected. FML

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By Sunshine.0.ninja - United States

Today, I was looking through my boyfriends phone, when I found a naked picture of myself. Too bad I haven't sent him any. Ever. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/9/2020 05:06

Uninvolved

Today, I woke up to the only home I've ever known in 32 years being burned to ash by a wildfire with everything we own inside, barely getting me and my dogs out alive. My boyfriend of 3 years promised me we would work through this together, no matter what it took, only to completely ghost me a few hours later. FML

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By JennaMarie - United States

Today, I was in the car with my husband complaining about the way I look. His response, "Babe, if I cared about the way you looked I wouldnt have married you." FML

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By tanya - Canada

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

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By forreal

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears because the love of his life has decided to move on with another man. He is currently on his way over to cry on my shoulder about it. FML

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By moorox45 - United States

Today, I put on a pair of sneakers that I'd left outside, and went jogging. After several minutes of pain, I pulled off one of the sneakers, only to find dozens of baby spiders had moved in. FML

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By turnoff - United States

Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging his neck and shoulders. He opens his eyes, looks at me, says "No", and goes back to sleep. FML

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By yashika - United States - Denver

Today, I discovered that it doesn’t matter where I move, I will always wake up at 5 a.m. to the sound of construction directly above my ceiling. FML

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1487

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By anon - United States

Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML

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28537

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By Anonymous

Nice pic

Today, for the first time in my life, I sent a member pic to a girl I had been talking to for a few days on Snapchat. (she had asked me for it). She saw the pic, and blocked me. FML

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1771

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By Anonymous - United States - Haslet

Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML

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By What an ass - 23/2/2021 14:01 - Australia

Check this out!

Today, while using my phone camera as a mirror, I managed to broadcast a Facebook Live video of myself applying haemorrhoid cream to my asshole. FML

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652

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By Rae - United States

Today, I was fired for not attending a mandatory meeting. I confronted my boss and told her I never heard anything about it, she told me that daily reminders had been sent out via email for weeks. She then discovered that she failed to enter my email address in the system. I was still fired. FML

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By ProExist - United States

Today, MLK Jr. Day, I was told that since my other co workers are on vacation, I have to be at work Today. No one else is at work Today...or on any other holiday. Also I am the only black person at my office. The irony, FML

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2368

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By FellingShitty - United States

Today, I realized I'm missing my diamond earrings. After ripping apart the vacuum bag and exhausting all other options I'm pretty sure my new cat ate them. I'm going to go sift through several days worth of cat shit now. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my mother-in-law told me to "just wait" until she gets home from her trip, because apparently, taking a vacation with her partner is more important than the birth of her first grandchild. Contractions started a few hours ago. Part of me hopes she misses it. FML

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By Female Struggles - United States - Denver

Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML

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By someonesomething - United States

Today, one of the comic companies I submitted to, replied back. They said that the story was boring, and the main character bland, generic, uncultured, had no potential for personal growth, a suburbanite, and an ignorant shut-in. I based the personality of the main character on my own. FML

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By Valedict-oops

Today, I walked at my graduation ceremony, proudly wearing my valedictorian cords. It turns out that, after some confusion on behalf of the student services office, I was neither valedictorian nor salutatorian (by 0.2 points). I'm dating the actual valedictorian. FML

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By toilet on the clock - China - Guangzhou

Today, I learned that the three secretaries at work make spreadsheets about who uses the toilets, when and for how long, and then make bets on who will take the longest toilet break, who will use it the most often, etc. Now I constantly look at my watch whenever I use the toilets. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/10/2020 09:57 - Argentina - Burzaco

The death of romance

Today, I was swiping on Tinder when the app told me there was one else left to meet. I haven't had any matches. FML

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885

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By whyme102008 - United States

Family Matters

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

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By anonymous - United States

Today, I had to explain to my husband why putting on dirty underwear after a shower defeats the purpose. We had this discussion in the middle of me giving him head. FML

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32836

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By starcatch777 - United States

Today, I blacked out going up a roller coaster. Instead of helping me, my friend took pictures of my face and posted them on Facebook. FML

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By Sexting Parents - United States - Short Hills

Nice view

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Manhattan Beach

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

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29827

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By rattrap - United States

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time my cats haven't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

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27962

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By Anonymous - 31/7/2020 05:01

Technologically challenged

Today, my aged mother continued to complain about her computer issues to me. A relative, who is good at tech support, won't bother servicing her computer because whatever she does ends up bogging it down the next day, so I have to hear about it on the phone. FML

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1086

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By starfishedasshole - United States

Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 22:56 - United States - Montpelier

Join the club

Today, for the first time in 8 months, I got laid and it was amazing. Unfortunately, it's kicked my latent sex drive into hyperdrive. Best part? No idea when I might have sex again, so apparently I just have to live with being ragingly horny for the foreseeable future. FML

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966

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By EmmaleeSupertramp - United States

Today, it was the first dress rehearsal at a community theater. I'm playing a grandma to a bunch of little kids, and the guy who is playing the grandpa wears a fat suit. I put on my costume and one of the kids comes up to me and says, "Are you wearing a fat suit too?" and pokes my stomach. FML

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Top comments

By glitter354 | 0

#1930810 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:08

Damn...next time just say "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you." There really is no good way to let your boss know what happened. So, FYL and YDI.

By Perksofbeingawal | 0

#1930807 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:06

Omg that's awful. I've been in that position one too many times... :/

COMMENTS

By wenta | 1

#1930792 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:02

stuff like that happens to me all the time... you just learn not to be nosy.

Suavis | 4

#1930906 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:38

uhh.. they weren't being nosy?

Ronnie_loves_you | 11

#1930983 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 13:04

could just say you were laughing at something you remembered and that you didn't even hear'

HaloReachIsCool | 6

#1930989 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 13:05

Hearing Fail

you_and_me_fml | 8

#1930999 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 13:13

that was not very smart on your part haha.. just tell him what you thought happened and im sure he will understand

iSCREAMMM | 0

#1931079 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 14:05

Just pretend that you were coughing too.

ozzy4u | 0

#1931184 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 16:03

Hahahaha

By IgnorantAmerican | 0

#1930797 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:03

lol

mr_miyagi | 0

#1931659 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 21:29

hahajahahahahah tumors

By SomePinkTape | 0

#1930801 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:04

clean out your ears

Ariasmake_1 | 0

#1930850 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:16

more like clean out your office.

nybsucubos | 5

#1930890 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:31

BOOM HEADSHOT!

By theten_fml | 9

#1930805 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:06

this one actually made me laugh

By Perksofbeingawal | 0

#1930807 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:06

Omg that's awful. I've been in that position one too many times... :/

MagicMushrooms | 0

#1930914 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:39

That's what she said. Sorry.

Elmo_1526 | 6

#1931128 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 14:40

lmfao xD

By glitter354 | 0

#1930810 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:08

Damn...next time just say "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you." There really is no good way to let your boss know what happened. So, FYL and YDI.

urdirtyolduncle | 15

#1930829 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:11

cute puppy !!

tygerarmy | 35

#1930839 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:14

Exactly, it's better to to allow yourself to ask a stupid question and feel awkward then to do something awkward and feel stupid.

glitter354 | 0

#1930863 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:20

7 - thank you! She just died 2 months ago of cancer, she was 15 years old...FML

Emerant | 0

#1931119 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 14:30

Aw, I'm so sorry. She looks very sweet. :)

5t3ff1k4h | 44

#1931529 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 19:49

See, this is why OP should learn to never laugh at a joke unless they heard it clearly, especially if the person telling the "joke" wasn't even talking to them in the first place.

FYLorYDIohno | 12

#1933768 - Thursday 6 January 2011 12:39

51: Her boss just walked in the room and talked, it's not like they were talking to someone specific. So, basically her boss was talking to everyone in the room.

By bobkim302 | 0

#1930831 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:12

Holy crap! If you don't know what's going on just sit there and do nothing. I'm sure you feel bad too. This has happened to most of us at one time also.
It took years to just say or do nothing.