Work: Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear,...

By sucks - Netherlands

Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear, but my co-worker chuckled so to be polite, I laughed with him. They gave me some weird looks. My boss was actually talking about his wife's tumor and my co-worker was coughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12737

You deserved it

34474

Favorite

Work

The smell detective is on the case

Empathy lives

Classic switcheroo

By Anonymous - United States - Russell Springs

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48438

You deserved it

5716

Favorite

By cero_kewl - United States

Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33437

You deserved it

2940

Favorite

By fulloshit - United States

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35973

You deserved it

4567

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Ozark

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29184

You deserved it

146591

Favorite

By anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I just got back from a two week vacation. I live with six people and only the dog was happy to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36907

You deserved it

3574

Favorite

By Anonymous - 8/8/2020 14:02

Imitation is a form of flattery. Or is it?

Today, and ever since he saw the infamous interview that was on TV the other day, every time I say something to my husband, he keeps quoting, "You can't do that!" and "You don't know that!" at me in Donald Trump's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1165

You deserved it

161

Favorite

By NoTypeOfExercise - United States - Encino

Today, my husband told me I couldn't go to my morning yoga class, because he needed to leave for work at 7:30 am sharp, and I wouldn't be back in time to watch our son. It's 8:05 am and he still hasn't left for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14255

You deserved it

1430

Favorite

By Anonymous - France - Cateri

Today, I had a boyfriend who wanted to wait until marriage before having sex. When I came home, I realised he must have married my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33334

You deserved it

2164

Favorite

By Jackie Campbell - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using the "it's not you, it's me" speech with a slight variation, saying instead, "It's not me, it's you. And yes, I meant to say it that way round." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33291

You deserved it

6103

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29358

You deserved it

26589

Favorite

By Newly Minted Canuck

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2242

You deserved it

4447

Favorite

By OytoBeAfather - United States - Nesconset

Today, my 20-year-old son's external hard-drive stopped working. He's crying on my shoulder now, not because of the movies, porn, work, or music he probably lost, but because of the now irretrievable complete series of Digimon that he'd collected. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23908

You deserved it

4237

Favorite

By anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the store and bought some cream to help with a sunburn I'd gotten a few days ago. What's worse than having red, peeling, and painful skin? An allergic reaction on top of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27990

You deserved it

2740

Favorite

By Anonymous - 3/9/2020 14:01

Venmo me

Today, my mother-in-law called to find out how the first week of school went for the kids. She spent most of the call complaining about her husband. I'd like to send her a bill for her trying to use me as a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1124

You deserved it

194

Favorite

By MedChew - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, my obsessive-compulsive mother barred me from using the toilet she had just cleaned. She told me to wait until tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30499

You deserved it

2128

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, the guardian angel charm my grandma gave to me for "safe driving" fell off my sun visor while I was driving. This scared me enough to cause me to swerve into another moving car. So much for safe driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21641

You deserved it

7073

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that he needed some time alone for a few weeks. This break just so happens to include our one year anniversary, Christmas, New Year's, and my birthday. Now I get to spend the next three weeks alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38041

You deserved it

4772

Favorite

By ZombieMommy - United States - Conroe

Plooped

Today, I was pouring milk into my coffee and, as it plooped into my mug, I noticed the expiration date on the jug passed 2 weeks ago. Nobody here drinks milk very often and I ran out of creamer so I've been unknowingly drinking my coffee with curdled milk for the past 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3269

You deserved it

2265

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Concord

Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52525

You deserved it

3579

Favorite

By Mr.P - United States

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29153

You deserved it

3238

Favorite

By bottlepoppin - United States

Today, a customer opened with "you open bottles with them thangs?" I look around my desk for something he might confuse with an actual bottle opener. His girlfriend then informs me he is talking about my breasts. I work for a bank. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47910

You deserved it

3934

Favorite

By um...no? i don't think so anyway - United States - Warren

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I feel. She instantly burst out laughing and said "A crush? Dude, what are you, 12?! Hahaha!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

47445

You deserved it

6275

Favorite

By MakeMyDay_27 - United States

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43866

You deserved it

5607

Favorite

By Unlovedchild

Today, I found out why my parents forgot my birthday. Facebook didn't remind them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43203

You deserved it

4700

Favorite

By NotTalented - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I played in a high school concert. Some alumni of the band were sitting in the audience and were brought to tears. Not because it was beautiful, but because they were sad to see how much the music program had declined since they left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37588

You deserved it

4712

Favorite

By O__o - United States

Today, I got stuck driving behind a rather large motorcyclist on a one way road for 30 miles. For those 30 miles, I had a full view of his back fat rolls and butt crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27609

You deserved it

3737

Favorite

By dpod121 - United States

Today, I got a call from my optometrist. I ignored the call, because I already knew I had my appointment tomorrow. When I listened to my messages later, I found out it was from his secretary, saying all of his appointments have been canceled due to him passing away last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24367

You deserved it

9189

Favorite

By Anonymous

How deep is it?

Today, my husband rolled over in his sleep, cuddled up to me, and lovingly whispered “I love you Pizza Hut...” FML

I agree, your life sucks

1805

You deserved it

254

Favorite

By Bailey - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48663

You deserved it

14057

Favorite

By stickers - United States

Today, I was going through my moms closet. On one of the shelves, I found two baby books. One was mine, the other was one for a dog she owned before I was born. I looked through them both. The dog's baby book was filled out more than mine was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49509

You deserved it

4240

Favorite

By dunno why we bother - United States - Tampa

Today, while on patrol with my partner, we came across a guy getting a beat-down on the sidewalk. After restraining the attacker, we helped the victim to his feet, only for him to spit at us and call us "goddamn pigs". You're welcome, sir. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46193

You deserved it

4487

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Eagle Point

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47025

You deserved it

3521

Favorite

By Anonymous - Romania - Bucharest

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61620

You deserved it

30665

Favorite

By PinkTornado - Canada

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After three long weeks of him ignoring me and cancelling out on time we were supposed to spend with each other. He looked at me with the most confused look on his face. Then he says ''Are you serious? I was planning the perfect day to ask you to marry me'' FML

I agree, your life sucks

39741

You deserved it

97420

Favorite

By anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is getting engaged. He broke up with me five months ago because our relationship was too serious for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32825

You deserved it

2732

Favorite

By jasminejzhu - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46929

You deserved it

11648

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my first day at my new job, a guy decided to pay all his parking fines in one go. All £2300 of them. Yes, he did decide to pay it in pennies. Wheelbarrows and buckets full of pennies. That's 230,000 pennies. Guess whose job it was to count them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3240

You deserved it

355

Favorite

By MoncaBang - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33595

You deserved it

3409

Favorite

By homealone - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, after a long day at work, I fell asleep in my living room. When I woke up, I saw a man leaving my bedroom wearing my pajamas, and I started screaming as he casually left. The cops came and apparently he's mentally ill. He truly believed it was his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9154

You deserved it

541

Favorite

By send the army please - United States - Elizabeth

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, because her military father, who doesn't like me, continuously threatened my safety for dating her. Now he's threatening to kill me for dumping her. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15221

You deserved it

1518

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By glitter354 | 0

#1930810 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:08

Damn...next time just say "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you." There really is no good way to let your boss know what happened. So, FYL and YDI.

By Perksofbeingawal | 0

#1930807 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:06

Omg that's awful. I've been in that position one too many times... :/

COMMENTS

By wenta | 1

#1930792 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:02

stuff like that happens to me all the time... you just learn not to be nosy.

Suavis | 4

#1930906 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:38

uhh.. they weren't being nosy?

Ronnie_loves_you | 11

#1930983 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 13:04

could just say you were laughing at something you remembered and that you didn't even hear'

HaloReachIsCool | 6

#1930989 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 13:05

Hearing Fail

you_and_me_fml | 8

#1930999 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 13:13

that was not very smart on your part haha.. just tell him what you thought happened and im sure he will understand

iSCREAMMM | 0

#1931079 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 14:05

Just pretend that you were coughing too.

ozzy4u | 0

#1931184 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 16:03

Hahahaha

By IgnorantAmerican | 0

#1930797 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:03

lol

mr_miyagi | 0

#1931659 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 21:29

hahajahahahahah tumors

By SomePinkTape | 0

#1930801 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:04

clean out your ears

Ariasmake_1 | 0

#1930850 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:16

more like clean out your office.

nybsucubos | 5

#1930890 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:31

BOOM HEADSHOT!

By theten_fml | 9

#1930805 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:06

this one actually made me laugh

By Perksofbeingawal | 0

#1930807 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:06

Omg that's awful. I've been in that position one too many times... :/

MagicMushrooms | 0

#1930914 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:39

That's what she said. Sorry.

Elmo_1526 | 6

#1931128 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 14:40

lmfao xD

By glitter354 | 0

#1930810 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:08

Damn...next time just say "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you." There really is no good way to let your boss know what happened. So, FYL and YDI.

urdirtyolduncle | 15

#1930829 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:11

cute puppy !!

tygerarmy | 35

#1930839 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:14

Exactly, it's better to to allow yourself to ask a stupid question and feel awkward then to do something awkward and feel stupid.

glitter354 | 0

#1930863 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:20

7 - thank you! She just died 2 months ago of cancer, she was 15 years old...FML

Emerant | 0

#1931119 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 14:30

Aw, I'm so sorry. She looks very sweet. :)

5t3ff1k4h | 44

#1931529 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 19:49

See, this is why OP should learn to never laugh at a joke unless they heard it clearly, especially if the person telling the "joke" wasn't even talking to them in the first place.

FYLorYDIohno | 12

#1933768 - Thursday 6 January 2011 12:39

51: Her boss just walked in the room and talked, it's not like they were talking to someone specific. So, basically her boss was talking to everyone in the room.

By bobkim302 | 0

#1930831 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:12

Holy crap! If you don't know what's going on just sit there and do nothing. I'm sure you feel bad too. This has happened to most of us at one time also.
It took years to just say or do nothing.