Work: Today, my boss sent me a message about a project, via WhatsApp.... - FML

By Anonymous - 01/05/2016 04:56 - United States - Sandown

Today, my boss sent me a message about a project, via WhatsApp. It's my day off, so I figured it could wait till I was able to give a flying fuck. Literally a minute later, he was spamming me, demanding to know why I'd left him as read and reminding me that he has firing powers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 765

You deserved it 1 503

BO Central

Walk the line

Compromises

By sickly - 18/02/2011 13:06

Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 431

You deserved it 4 327

The Lovecats

By Anonymous - 30/08/2021 09:01 - United States - Springfield

Today, my cat woke me up by vomiting a big, warm, stinky hairball on my neck and then left. I think she was smiling as she trotted away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 142

By secret - 11/03/2010 05:18 - United States

Today, I found out the electric bill I have been paying was on my old house. I found this out when they shut off the power to my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 828

You deserved it 20 215

By Anonymous - 10/09/2011 05:57 - United States

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 156

You deserved it 4 291

By StairwayToEvan92 - 09/09/2019 22:00

Today, I ran over my third skunk in over 16 days. I should probably return my driver's license to the DMV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 428

By fugly - 06/06/2015 00:44 - United States - Landenberg

Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man walked by and said I looked "super fine." When I looked up to look him in the face, he immediately looked disgusted and basically ran away. Apparently, my face does that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 933

You deserved it 2 356

By tobuscus9412 - 22/03/2015 01:04 - Australia - Woronora

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 045

You deserved it 3 326

By dole_out_the_fml - 20/05/2009 17:36 - Canada

Today, I spent two hours making dinner for my boyfriend's family. When I brought it over to their house they said "thanks" and didn't bother to invite me to stay to eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 154

You deserved it 4 570

By sylverster - 15/03/2011 12:37 - Singapore

Today, I banged into a glass door. My friend laughed at me, so I turned around and gave him the finger, then turned back to continue walking and banged into the door again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 728

You deserved it 56 721

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 20:58 - United Kingdom - Duns

Today, I spent half-an-hour trapped inside my dog's crate. The door locked behind me as I squeezed myself inside to stroke her. After bellowing at my family in the garden for what felt like an eternity, they came through just to laugh and take pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 840

You deserved it 9 248

By Ban Hammered - 25/05/2016 10:35 - United States - New York

Today, I babysat my neighbor's twin 4-year-old girls again. When I took them out for lunch, they apparently had been addressing themselves as "my bitches", taught to them by their devil spawn 13-year-old brother. Everyone, including Chuck E. Cheese himself, was not pleased. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 341

You deserved it 853

By firstdategoals - 08/06/2015 03:35 - United States

Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 086

You deserved it 3 832

By pandabear93 - 04/09/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mom about when I have kids. I told her I may want two or three. She immediately cut me off and told me to stick to one, and that any more than that will be a burden. I am the second born child of my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 504

You deserved it 3 729

By sweetsixteen - 22/06/2009 18:23 - United States

Today, I walked into my house to find several of my friends there for a surprise sweet sixteen party my mom was throwing for me. Everything was going great until the doorbell rang and a clown walked in. My mom hired a clown for my sweet sixteen. My friends took pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 524

You deserved it 5 819

By Scotty - 28/07/2014 10:16 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I met someone who works in radio advertising. Making conversation, I described an ad that I can't stand. He wrote it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 915

You deserved it 9 918

By Anonymous - 18/05/2012 19:19 - United States - Paterson

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 365

You deserved it 3 521

By Anonymous - 17/08/2011 13:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 406

You deserved it 37 079

By Anonymous - 08/02/2018 15:00

Today, I came home from a month long vacation to find my house absolutely trashed with a lot of valuable items missing. Burglary? Nope. My dad, who was meant to be house-sitting for me, let the neighbour's teenage son have several parties there in exchange for weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 341

You deserved it 452

By Anonymous - 21/10/2009 02:15 - United States

Today, I decided to take a personal day from class and e-mailed all of my profs saying I had flu symptoms. While standing in line at Starbucks later, someone behind me says "Glad you're feeling better. Hope you can attend class tomorrow, we'll discuss lying." It was my Ethics professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 837

You deserved it 59 412

By sad face - 24/11/2012 11:54 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 947

You deserved it 5 278

By gdog10122 - 12/01/2013 09:52 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad, thinking it was an advertisement, threw away a letter from the college I applied to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 127

You deserved it 2 658

By Nick - 20/07/2013 19:37 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 124

You deserved it 5 098

By poopsthegame - 03/12/2012 07:36 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 918

You deserved it 1 815

By jons - 17/02/2009 21:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 386

You deserved it 3 580

By worstfatherever - 10/07/2011 20:54 - United States

Today, I came home after having traveled abroad for the last two months. Before I left, I'd asked my dad to take care of my fish, and he promised they'd be safe with him. I found them all decomposing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 968

You deserved it 3 668

By offended - 07/04/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was putting the finishing touches on my portrait of a young boy in art class. I asked my teacher if she could help correct the bad parts of my portrait. She said, "Well that would take all day and I just don't have the time." She was serious. I thought this was my best work yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 157

You deserved it 5 114

By pretty princess - 01/02/2009 08:55 - United States

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 760

You deserved it 4 914

By hopeyoushityourintestinesout - 08/06/2013 00:16 - United States - Everett

Today, I drove 2 hours to my sister's wedding, only to find out my invitation was sent to me by mistake. She had me kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 116

You deserved it 4 865

By Failed_Dad - 25/09/2015 05:42 - United States - Davis

Today, with the most certainty and confidence that I have ever seen in her, my 16-year-old daughter told me an egg is a fruit because of its "hard shell and growing seed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 601

You deserved it 2 709

By blegh - 16/01/2009 04:57 - Switzerland

Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 784

You deserved it 6 224

By uwotm8 - 24/05/2015 00:58 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I missed the spider but succeeded in keying my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 737

You deserved it 25 333

By Rabzouz - 20/12/2008 08:16 - France

Today, I opened a packet of cereal and it exploded on my keyboard; now, my keyboard crackles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 672

You deserved it 12 212

By Why Me - 12/08/2015 13:50 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 323

You deserved it 2 855

By KittKatt - 20/05/2015 05:34 - United States - Lehighton

Today, my brother changed my Google+ name without asking. He has done this before and I fixed it by just changing it back. Turns out Google has a 3-time limit per year for how many times you can change your name. Now I'm stuck with "Poop" for my YouTube name for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 926

You deserved it 4 539

Not now, dude!

By sammy - 26/03/2020 04:59 - Australia

Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 551

You deserved it 498

That's a great look!

By MissQ - 20/06/2020 17:01

Today, I was trying to learn how to whistle. On the elevator ride up to my room, I was experimenting with tongue placement and mouth position. At the height of my facial contortions and probable spitting, the elevator doors opened to reveal the guy I've been crushing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 560

By greeple - 10/09/2012 16:19 - Singapore

Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 710

You deserved it 12 737

By cutiecuppiecakez - 29/02/2016 21:04 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 927

You deserved it 3 007

By Anonymous - 05/12/2014 03:29 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 897

You deserved it 2 627

By whatthewoah - 02/09/2010 18:10 - United States

Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 076

You deserved it 2 215

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Top comments

CarlCarlCarl 20

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Monday 2 May 2016 0:07

Did you tell him that you have a life?

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Monday 2 May 2016 0:11

I use WhatsApp for messages from coworkers for work related messages - I like it and absolutely despise it at the same time...I got one coworker who will message me from the bathroom on WhatApp apologizing shes not feeling well...I never get the message until well after shes done and shes verbally apologized. I get work orders on it, which is why I havent gotten rid of that damn fucking app

Comments

CarlCarlCarl 20

Send a private message

Monday 2 May 2016 0:07

Did you tell him that you have a life?

Mpii 11

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Monday 2 May 2016 7:07

He wouldn't care. Op isn't a friend of theri boss. Just an lifeless employee that lives 8hr per day.

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Monday 2 May 2016 12:24

Obviously not. OP still has his job, I think.

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Monday 2 May 2016 0:11

I use WhatsApp for messages from coworkers for work related messages - I like it and absolutely despise it at the same time...I got one coworker who will message me from the bathroom on WhatApp apologizing shes not feeling well...I never get the message until well after shes done and shes verbally apologized. I get work orders on it, which is why I havent gotten rid of that damn fucking app

fakedsincerity 32

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Monday 2 May 2016 0:13

My god that sounds so stressful! Like being on the job 24/7 I'm so glad my boss is so old she doesn't really know what an app is, let alone how to use one.

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Monday 2 May 2016 0:21

hahaha you got all the luck in the world!

yerawizardlizzy 27

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Monday 2 May 2016 13:23

Why does your coworker need to message you from the bathroom to apologize that she's not feeling well?

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Monday 2 May 2016 21:29

#28...shes usually been in the bathroom for about 10 or so minutes...maybe covering her ass (so to speak) in case one of our bosses question where she is. Im just generally grossed out shes got her phone in the bathroom with her

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Tuesday 3 May 2016 2:06

She takes her phone in the bathroom with her at least 1/2 the time, if shes in there longer than 10 minutes thats when she messages me. I work in the back mostly, but if Im covering for her up front I keep my phone in the back. It grosses and feaks me out to no end when people take their phone into the bathroom

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Monday 2 May 2016 0:19

Well, i guess its kinda rude to read a msg and not reply to it. You should have blocked him.

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Monday 2 May 2016 0:32

The boss reacted only a minute after, we all sometimes take time to answer. I'd get it, if he would have spammed after an hour or so.

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Monday 2 May 2016 10:07

Blocking your boss is not a very good idea if you value employment and the ability to pay for bills.

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Monday 2 May 2016 20:16

You wanna go to his house in the evening and beat the crap outta him too? Just to get your point across

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Monday 2 May 2016 0:23

This is why technology is also a very bad idea for businesses.

tarlax 11

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Monday 2 May 2016 0:35

The previous comment was brought to you from the 19th century. Over to you, Dan.

SarinatheHyena 16

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Monday 2 May 2016 0:41

Pretty sure businesses thrive off of technology... it's almost as if it can be used in a bad or good way.

Llama_Face89 33

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Monday 2 May 2016 0:56

both good and bad? I dunno that seems pretty far fetched. Are you sure you're not a witch?

raven_of_azarath 34

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Monday 2 May 2016 0:59

I mean, if technology is bad for businesses, what would happen to movie theaters?

InfiniteSunshine 32

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Monday 2 May 2016 1:42

Technology isn't bad for business. It's actually great for business, it allows them to accomplish more. However, I will say that technology can be bad for employees. With technology, often people are now expected to always be plugged-in, always be reachable, it doesn't allow them to just leave work at work, like society used to do. Bad bosses (like this one) come to expect that their employees should always have work in mind, and be able to do work related stuff at anytime, even on their days off.

whysojealous 18

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Monday 2 May 2016 0:36

Your boss sounds like a crazy gf

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Monday 2 May 2016 1:01

Snap a pic of the schedule and send back to him... Tell him you give a fuck is broken today.

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Monday 2 May 2016 1:31

And remind him that trying to force you to work off the clock gets the company sued and HIM fired.

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Monday 2 May 2016 1:41

#14, that's not universally the case, sadly -- it can depend on the company, the position, and the local laws. Wish it weren't so (I hit 40 hours last week on _Tuesday_; at least I get comp time despite being salaried), but for some positions, that's how it is.

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Monday 2 May 2016 1:51

Remind of the day off and union

beantownchivette 8

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Monday 2 May 2016 1:58

Not every job is Union

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Monday 2 May 2016 3:33

Some jobs will even have you fired if you mention forming a Union.

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Monday 2 May 2016 12:17

Isn't that illegal, tho?

beantownchivette 8

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Monday 2 May 2016 1:56

My boss tried to get me to cover a shift(in Massachusetts) while I was at my grandmother's funeral(in Indiana). I sent him a picture of the prayer card and he was very remorseful after that.

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Monday 2 May 2016 4:51

I like to let my bosses understand that when I am not clocked in that I would appreciate being able to enjoy my family and my personal time. Usually they get it and there's no harm done. I've only had 1 boss that didn't agree, but she also thought that her company was gods gift to humanity and even though it paid poorly, didn't have benefits (even though it was a hazardous job), and fucked you during tax season to save themselves money .... you should be lucky to work here and you need to answer her calls 24/7. so odds are in your favor that if you just say hey, got your message can we discuss tomorrow at work? they will be happy. then at work say hey sorry I didn't reply, I just prefer to give 100% of my attention to work related items and when I'm at home I have (wife,kids,pets,errands,etc) distracting me and I wouldn't want to make a poor decision because I was not focused at that moment.

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 14

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 7

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 55

Today, I’ve been single and lonely for so long, I looked up if it’s possible to marry your hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 253