Today, my boss reeks of mothballs. We share a cubicle. FML - FML

By misc - 16/1/2009 12:19 - United States

Today, my boss reeks of mothballs. We share a cubicle. FML

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Not a cheating!

Spooky

Risky business

By Anonymous - 16/9/2012 15:32 - United States - Acton

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML

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By shitty shit - 26/5/2015 15:40 - United States - Carmel

Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML

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By Drew - 5/8/2010 05:18 - United States

Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML

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By Spencer - 6/12/2018 12:30

Today, I decided to try an online therapy site seeing as I have been feeling very lonely and don’t have any friends to talk to about my issues. After filling out all the initial forms, the site told me there was no one available to speak to me. FML

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By ihatelongflights - 21/8/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML

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By snathans - 13/4/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I took one of those IQ tests on the internet. I cheated and still got a 70. FML

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By Mrmz07 - 1/5/2016 09:32 - United States - Midland

Today, I was called in to work on my day off to cover for a co-worker because she was busy getting it on with my brother. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/8/2012 17:25 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I found out that ever since I got my blonde highlights, I've been mocked behind my back at work, and nicknamed "The Skunk". FML

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By I.Want.Food. - 19/1/2014 23:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was watching Ratatouille. Piece of advice for starving students: never watch it when you've only eaten two apples in two days, or you'll find yourself in the ridiculous position of being jealous of a fucking rat. FML

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By You must be joking - 3/7/2018 20:30

Today, my boss told me to sort and file all the paperwork he'd been randomly shoving into boxes since 2010. Apparently we're being audited, so he expects me to do eight years of filing in two weeks. There's enough paper to fully stock a large public library. Two weeks my ass. FML

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By justthinkofyourhand - 13/7/2014 22:36 - United States - Salida

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

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By Rachel - 2/2/2009 22:00 - United States

Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML

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By fmyboss - 13/10/2019 07:00

People never learn

Today, I was made fun of at work by my mom and my supervisor. I work at a kids' anti-bullying camp. FML

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By embarrassed girl - 7/6/2014 05:40 - United States - Saint Cloud

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. It was going well until I accidentally passed gas. To add to the embarrassment, he rated it. I only got a 4 out of 10. FML

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By NotYourTracy - 30/10/2018 13:30

Today, while on the bus, I started a conversation with the person next to me. After a little back and forth, she finally said, "Do you think people will stop talking to me if I say I have aids?" FML

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By Anonymous - 17/10/2013 21:36 - United States - College Station

Today, my boss gave me a verbal warning. My crime? Calling people "hon", "darlin'", and the like. I work at a Texas diner. FML

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By a - 31/10/2009 04:14 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was chatting with a friend on msn. She told me a few days ago a Halloween party we had been planning was canceled because her parents said no at the last moment. Wanting to cheer her up, I went to her house to surprise her. I guess the party wasn't canceled after all. FML

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By mfnfhdjdjddjsjfn - 3/9/2012 08:39 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was in a terrific mood after finding a bouquet of beautiful flowers on my doorstep when I came home. That is, until I recognised the handwriting of my "secret admirer" was the same as my mother's. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/11/2015 15:28 - United States - Jamestown

Today, I was in a play and had a battle scene. I got a little too into it and wound up twisting my ankle. The audience was treated to me screaming like a little girl before face-planting the stage a moment later. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/9/2020 20:02

"Based on your purchase history…"

Today, in the break room at work, I was looking through my email on my phone about my Amazon orders. There was a suggested product that looked like a dildo. I turned around to see my boss behind me glancing at my phone. FML

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By drivencrazy - 6/7/2010 16:42 - United States

Today, while driving, a girl on her cellphone cut me off. A second later, another person behind me on a cellphone rear ended me. Her excuse was, "I'm sorry, you weren't there a minute ago!" FML

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By shittyhall - 26/6/2017 04:00

Today, someone shat liquid poo in the hallway at work. Right. Outside. The bathroom. Another foot and they could have used a toilet instead of the carpeted floor. FML

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By imcold - 30/12/2013 07:32 - United States

Today, a stranger was kind enough to plow my driveway during a blizzard. However, they were not kind enough to leave their number after plowing the front end of my car. FML

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By - 1/1/2019 11:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, I got rear ended. The guy flashed his lights at me to pull over, so I pulled into the side of the road. He drove away. FML

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By SadSister:( - 11/1/2015 00:15 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my 4-year-old sister and our puppy. Suddenly, she blurted out from the backseat, "I don't love you anymore." Shocked, I asked her to repeat herself. She looked me straight in the eye and said, "The puppy doesn't love you either." FML

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By Cano951 - 16/12/2011 20:16 - United States

Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/9/2013 11:36 - United States - Big Pine Key

Today, for the fifth day in a row, I have awoken at 6am to the sounds of my roommate's guest's child screaming. If it's anything like the last four days, the child will continue to randomly screech every fifteen minutes or so for the next five hours. I work 13-hour night shifts. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/9/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, my boss reached over and yanked up my shirt right above my breasts while she said, "I'm all for flaunting it if you've got it, but don't reveal that much cleavage, there are dirty old men that work here." FML

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By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 09:34 - United States

Today, I had a headache when I woke up for school. I had final exams that day, so I took what I thought were 2 advils. They were two sleeping pills. FML

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By cheeseburglar_9000 - 21/3/2013 01:11 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML

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By gunnerdog - 27/8/2013 00:22 - United States - Galveston

Today, during one of my first days as a teacher, a student stole my phone. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/6/2009 17:55 - Canada

Today, I put on my "fat jeans" because none of my other jeans fit. Neither do my fat jeans. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/11/2012 04:24 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML

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By S3R1AL K1LL3R X - 19/10/2010 04:21 - United States

Today, in my college class, our teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we get out of college. I guess being a U.S. Marine gets you a lecture for the whole class to hear that I'm a war hungry pig, and should get a real job that requires a brain. My job field is Aircraft repair. FML

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By notrocketscience - 7/5/2012 15:57 - United States - West Monroe

Today, the father of my child couldn't understand why he had been laid off from his job as a painter's assistant. He couldn't find a broom or vacuum, so he "cleaned" a carpet by laying down strips of painter's tape and pulling it up. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/2/2010 07:34 - United States

Today, I was playing rugby. I was tackled very hard at the end of a play, and I got up to find my head bleeding profusely. Not one person offered to drive me to the ER. I had to drive myself to get six stitches in the face. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/12/2015 12:45

Today, I was heading home after getting off work at 5 in the morning, when a deer slid out in front of my car. Not jumped. Slid. Thanks, winter. FML

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By ouch - 28/4/2012 06:54 - United States - Fullerton

Today, I was with a friend at the mall and I made eye contact and smiled at the worker at a smoothie stand that I went on a date with last year. He saw me, and then ducked down behind the register, where he remained while his coworker awkwardly leaned over him to take my order and money. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/1/2013 06:13 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I waited over an hour for my bus. As I finally saw it approaching, I reached into my purse to grab my ticket. The lady next to me then gave the driver a hand signal to keep driving. FML

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By sucks at sucking - 15/12/2012 00:27 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

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Top comments

By Foster_fml | 0

#1023 - Tuesday 10 February 2009 7:45

Must be a pretty shit job if your BOSS has to share a cubicle instead of getting an office! I suggest spraying deodorant in his/her general direction, they will get the idea soon enough.

By regal | 0

#13788 - Wednesday 4 March 2009 4:04

not making a stupid remark like tommyt but, what do mothballs actually smell like?

COMMENTS

By Foster_fml | 0

#1023 - Tuesday 10 February 2009 7:45

Must be a pretty shit job if your BOSS has to share a cubicle instead of getting an office! I suggest spraying deodorant in his/her general direction, they will get the idea soon enough.

Reply

xTrollz_OF_Lyfex | 0

#441017 - Wednesday 29 July 2009 23:22

YDI for not reeking like mothballs too.

Reply

colts609380 | 7

#1315240 - Sunday 29 August 2010 7:54

dude 11 ur fucked up

Reply

NancyDeebensDPDS | 0

#2071008 - Friday 11 February 2011 14:29

of course he's fucked up, look at his profile picture.

Reply

PuffDaddy395 | 3

#4285597 - Tuesday 10 April 2012 19:25

When I first read this, I read that your boss reeked of meatballs, and simply couldn't find a problem with that.

Reply

NeatNit | 32

#5845129 - Saturday 1 February 2014 0:32

I had to google mothballs. I like your version better.

By regal | 0

#13788 - Wednesday 4 March 2009 4:04

not making a stupid remark like tommyt but, what do mothballs actually smell like?

Reply

Trickiest_K | 9

#5463298 - Wednesday 24 April 2013 15:17

Mothballs is Nonna smell !

By huntergreen367 | 0

#76092 - Thursday 2 April 2009 2:55

Moth balls smell like naphthalene, which probably doesn't help you regal. As for the OP, I'd say it is more FYL that you share a cubicle with your boss than anything else.

By Pb_lily | 0

#177434 - Thursday 7 May 2009 20:22

Is your boss Scottish?

By swimmer07 | 0

#255931 - Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:22

your boss doesn't have his own office?

By volleyball16 | 0

#264429 - Thursday 4 June 2009 6:31

You should have sex with him...

Reply

charlotteel | 11

#5937758 - Wednesday 7 May 2014 20:17

How do you know it's a dude?

By bty245 | 0

#288631 - Wednesday 10 June 2009 5:07

if that were the worst thing to happen to me in the day, it'd take that day any day of the year

By HeyThereGorgeous | 0

#295930 - Friday 12 June 2009 4:25

#5 your a racist for that. And so what!? Just buy some perfume and spray it alllllllll over

By latkematzoball | 0

#380989 - Thursday 9 July 2009 5:34

I'm a cunt

Reply

Youser | 0

#1490229 - Sunday 3 October 2010 6:00

STFU cunt

By nilnoc | 0

#490415 - Sunday 16 August 2009 6:29

That sucks mothballs