By sistermonster - France - Salon-de-provence Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML I agree, your life sucks 25405 You deserved it 37773 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Italy - Milan Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML I agree, your life sucks 20630 You deserved it 47947 393 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Pwnedofthedead - Canada Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML I agree, your life sucks 43707 You deserved it 3768 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Pay up! Today, while driving on the tollway my car overheated and died a few yards from the toll booth. I then had to wait, crying, in my smoking car for a patrol guy while cars moved around me. He had to push me through the toll and the lady in the booth said she felt sorry for me but still took my $3. FML I agree, your life sucks 35338 You deserved it 5104 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Idiot - 16/12/2020 19:58 Pencils down Today, I took an exam, for which I have been studying for weeks, I was confident at first, but then really struggled with it. I finished with about ten minutes to spare, turned to what I thought would be the end of my paper and found the first page of questions I was supposed to have answered. FML I agree, your life sucks 844 You deserved it 289 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jaxattax - United States Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML I agree, your life sucks 15497 You deserved it 82695 373 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wtfisgoingon - United Kingdom - London Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML I agree, your life sucks 67186 You deserved it 3655 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JustMyLuck - United States Today, I was at my boyfriends house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. As a natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML I agree, your life sucks 19878 You deserved it 51905 293 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By merp. - United States - Wausau Today, I spun off the road and into a ditch. The insurance company told me I'd have to wait an hour, as they had other cars to tow first. I had to pee so badly that I resorted to using the only thing I had in my car: a plastic bag. That's when I got a knock on my window from the tow truck driver. FML I agree, your life sucks 30583 You deserved it 6052 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mariama - United States Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML I agree, your life sucks 37873 You deserved it 3109 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hailey - United States - Bethesda Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML I agree, your life sucks 30738 You deserved it 6702 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By zingle af Erection for Protection Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock solid erection. FML I agree, your life sucks 4484 You deserved it 594 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tess - United States - Burlington The Haunting of FML House Today, hidden deep in my husband's closet, I found a shrine dedicated to a woman named Felicity. After further investigation, I saw printouts of my husband's detailed fantasies of phone sex conversations with Felicity. Felicity was his first wife, and has been dead for nine years. FML I agree, your life sucks 1959 You deserved it 237 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fuck family - Poland - Walbrzych Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML I agree, your life sucks 50769 You deserved it 5537 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dramaqueen - United States Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML I agree, your life sucks 48953 You deserved it 31494 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tingly - United States Today, I realized that that tingly feeling on my face when I put a new combination of acne wash, acne medication, and my usual moisturizer on was not, in fact, "it working." It was slowly peeling away the top layer of skin. I look and feel sunburned. I also still have acne and oily skin. FML I agree, your life sucks 29362 You deserved it 6243 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Germany - Ahaus Today, it's been three weeks since I moved to Germany with my own money, after my company's offices in Spain shut down. I was given a job at the headquarters here, only to have just found out that the whole company is now set to go into liquidation. FML I agree, your life sucks 45336 You deserved it 3141 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PoorJudgeOfCharacter - 25/5/2020 08:00 How could you? Today, I found out that before I met my boyfriend of one year, he slept with his twin brother's ex girlfriend who his twin had dated for two years before ending things. Am I dating a monster? FML I agree, your life sucks 1177 You deserved it 244 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By catfriend - United States - Salida Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML I agree, your life sucks 45919 You deserved it 4819 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Perry85 Cloud Cuckooland Today, my girlfriend's husband heard us having sex, but he's so naive, he believed her when she said we were just watching porn. FML I agree, your life sucks 369 You deserved it 2948 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/10/2020 17:01 Relativity Today, I found out my husband of 8 years has been cheating on me, so I decided to let the lady's husband know that she was unfaithful as well. His response was that I ruined his day. This has ruined mine and my kids lives. FML I agree, your life sucks 1317 You deserved it 190 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RIP - United States - Dearborn Today, my girlfriend and I found out that if I'm tickled it causes me to have a panic attack until I cry. FML I agree, your life sucks 12647 You deserved it 1208 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NotHauteCouture - United States Today, we had our annual office Christmas party. The theme of the party was "Ugliest Sweater". The winner was a sweater that I have an exact replica of in my closet. It's my favorite 'special occasion', 'family portrait' and 'holiday' sweater. FML I agree, your life sucks 25867 You deserved it 13326 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 23/10/2020 17:02 One hell of a poker game? Today, I lost 1200 dollars, my fiancée, my dog, my apartment, and my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 1084 You deserved it 269 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By max5 - France - Casseneuil Today, my ex-girlfriend sent me an email. I was excited that she wanted to make amends for cheating on me before I dumped her. No, the email had a photo of her making out with the guy she cheated on me with, and the caption, "What you wish you still had". FML I agree, your life sucks 31356 You deserved it 2814 222 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By username - United States - Elkhart Today, my father told me to "go get a job". He has been unemployed for 3 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 31907 You deserved it 3234 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By EmployeeOfTheMonth - United States - Montpelier Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML I agree, your life sucks 39394 You deserved it 9105 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hairylass - United States Today, I realized that I have an odd habit of plucking the tiny white hairs on my upper lip when I am overly stressed. But only the right side. I noticed when examining my face and seeing they'd all come back black. I've got half a mustache. I'm female. FML I agree, your life sucks 2376 You deserved it 619 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sandwhiched - United States - Los Angeles Today, I went on a road trip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 30575 You deserved it 4783 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By screwed - United States Today, I was hit by a truck while walking to school. It was the driver's fault as I was in a crosswalk. My parents met me at the hospital where I had minor injuries. They began discussing what the insurance money would be spent on. They decided on a second honeymoon to Las Vegas. FML I agree, your life sucks 60728 You deserved it 3015 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By reisz618 Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML I agree, your life sucks 1563 You deserved it 551 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML I agree, your life sucks 11092 You deserved it 66036 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Houston Today, my wedding ring came off in a Walmart bathroom and fell into the toilet. It was an automatic toilet. It flushed. FML I agree, your life sucks 7762 You deserved it 813 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Scarlett_Pixie - Australia - Toowoomba Today, my partner convinced both of our little brothers that we are naming our son Obi-Wan. They now won't stop rubbing my belly and quoting Star Wars. This is going to be one long Christmas. FML I agree, your life sucks 7442 You deserved it 1054 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fireman - United States Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML I agree, your life sucks 25973 You deserved it 8344 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By firstdate - United States Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML I agree, your life sucks 36142 You deserved it 5288 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jobless - United States Today, I fell asleep during a job interview as it was taking place over the phone. FML I agree, your life sucks 9675 You deserved it 30144 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mamaofdrama Today, I was working on potty training my daughter. She opened the fridge while I wasn't looking and peed all over the lower shelf. FML I agree, your life sucks 1871 You deserved it 308 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ApparentDrugAddict - United States Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML I agree, your life sucks 42789 You deserved it 7303 243 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PerpetuallyHappy - United States - Rochester Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML I agree, your life sucks 26778 You deserved it 1905 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By touche :/ - Canada - Hamilton Today, I went to a big job interview. Eventually, the guy subtly enquired about my political beliefs. He seemed pretty laid-back and cool, so I told him, at which point he just chuckled and told me to leave. When I threatened to report him, he just said, "Who're they gonna believe, you or me?" FML I agree, your life sucks 46642 You deserved it 8201 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pqpm | 13 #7453769 - Saturday 13 May 2017 1:15 Talk about burning bridges... Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By pqpm | 13 #7453769 - Saturday 13 May 2017 1:15 Talk about burning bridges... Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, it's the fifth time this week alone I've attempted to explain to my boyfriend that I need more than just two minutes of foreplay to get horny. He... I agree, your life sucks 132 You deserved it 29 1 Comments
Today, my 5 year-old daughter and I had the displeasure of walking in on my husband going down on another woman. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that... I agree, your life sucks 723 You deserved it 30 3 Comments