Work: Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave...

By sistermonster - France - Salon-de-provence

Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25405

You deserved it

37773

Favorite

Work

Proactive

There's no helping some people

FML every way you look at it

By Anonymous - Italy - Milan

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20630

You deserved it

47947

Favorite

By Pwnedofthedead - Canada

Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43707

You deserved it

3768

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Pay up!

Today, while driving on the tollway my car overheated and died a few yards from the toll booth. I then had to wait, crying, in my smoking car for a patrol guy while cars moved around me. He had to push me through the toll and the lady in the booth said she felt sorry for me but still took my $3. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35338

You deserved it

5104

Favorite

By Idiot - 16/12/2020 19:58

Pencils down

Today, I took an exam, for which I have been studying for weeks, I was confident at first, but then really struggled with it. I finished with about ten minutes to spare, turned to what I thought would be the end of my paper and found the first page of questions I was supposed to have answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks

844

You deserved it

289

Favorite

By jaxattax - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15497

You deserved it

82695

Favorite

By wtfisgoingon - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

67186

You deserved it

3655

Favorite

By JustMyLuck - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriends house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. As a natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19878

You deserved it

51905

Favorite

By merp. - United States - Wausau

Today, I spun off the road and into a ditch. The insurance company told me I'd have to wait an hour, as they had other cars to tow first. I had to pee so badly that I resorted to using the only thing I had in my car: a plastic bag. That's when I got a knock on my window from the tow truck driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30583

You deserved it

6052

Favorite

By mariama - United States

Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37873

You deserved it

3109

Favorite

By hailey - United States - Bethesda

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

I agree, your life sucks

30738

You deserved it

6702

Favorite

By zingle af

Erection for Protection

Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock solid erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4484

You deserved it

594

Favorite

By Tess - United States - Burlington

The Haunting of FML House

Today, hidden deep in my husband's closet, I found a shrine dedicated to a woman named Felicity. After further investigation, I saw printouts of my husband's detailed fantasies of phone sex conversations with Felicity. Felicity was his first wife, and has been dead for nine years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1959

You deserved it

237

Favorite

By fuck family - Poland - Walbrzych

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50769

You deserved it

5537

Favorite

By dramaqueen - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48953

You deserved it

31494

Favorite

By Tingly - United States

Today, I realized that that tingly feeling on my face when I put a new combination of acne wash, acne medication, and my usual moisturizer on was not, in fact, "it working." It was slowly peeling away the top layer of skin. I look and feel sunburned. I also still have acne and oily skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29362

You deserved it

6243

Favorite

By Anonymous - Germany - Ahaus

Today, it's been three weeks since I moved to Germany with my own money, after my company's offices in Spain shut down. I was given a job at the headquarters here, only to have just found out that the whole company is now set to go into liquidation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45336

You deserved it

3141

Favorite

By PoorJudgeOfCharacter - 25/5/2020 08:00

How could you?

Today, I found out that before I met my boyfriend of one year, he slept with his twin brother's ex girlfriend who his twin had dated for two years before ending things. Am I dating a monster? FML

I agree, your life sucks

1177

You deserved it

244

Favorite

By catfriend - United States - Salida

Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45919

You deserved it

4819

Favorite

By Perry85

Cloud Cuckooland

Today, my girlfriend's husband heard us having sex, but he's so naive, he believed her when she said we were just watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

369

You deserved it

2948

Favorite

By Anonymous - 19/10/2020 17:01

Relativity

Today, I found out my husband of 8 years has been cheating on me, so I decided to let the lady's husband know that she was unfaithful as well. His response was that I ruined his day. This has ruined mine and my kids lives. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1317

You deserved it

190

Favorite

By RIP - United States - Dearborn

Today, my girlfriend and I found out that if I'm tickled it causes me to have a panic attack until I cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12647

You deserved it

1208

Favorite

By NotHauteCouture - United States

Today, we had our annual office Christmas party. The theme of the party was "Ugliest Sweater". The winner was a sweater that I have an exact replica of in my closet. It's my favorite 'special occasion', 'family portrait' and 'holiday' sweater. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25867

You deserved it

13326

Favorite

By Anonymous - 23/10/2020 17:02

One hell of a poker game?

Today, I lost 1200 dollars, my fiancée, my dog, my apartment, and my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1084

You deserved it

269

Favorite

By max5 - France - Casseneuil

Today, my ex-girlfriend sent me an email. I was excited that she wanted to make amends for cheating on me before I dumped her. No, the email had a photo of her making out with the guy she cheated on me with, and the caption, "What you wish you still had". FML

I agree, your life sucks

31356

You deserved it

2814

Favorite

By username - United States - Elkhart

Today, my father told me to "go get a job". He has been unemployed for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31907

You deserved it

3234

Favorite

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - United States - Montpelier

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39394

You deserved it

9105

Favorite

By Hairylass - United States

Today, I realized that I have an odd habit of plucking the tiny white hairs on my upper lip when I am overly stressed. But only the right side. I noticed when examining my face and seeing they'd all come back black. I've got half a mustache. I'm female. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2376

You deserved it

619

Favorite

By sandwhiched - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went on a road trip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30575

You deserved it

4783

Favorite

By screwed - United States

Today, I was hit by a truck while walking to school. It was the driver's fault as I was in a crosswalk. My parents met me at the hospital where I had minor injuries. They began discussing what the insurance money would be spent on. They decided on a second honeymoon to Las Vegas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60728

You deserved it

3015

Favorite

By reisz618

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1563

You deserved it

551

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11092

You deserved it

66036

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Houston

Today, my wedding ring came off in a Walmart bathroom and fell into the toilet. It was an automatic toilet. It flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7762

You deserved it

813

Favorite

By Scarlett_Pixie - Australia - Toowoomba

Today, my partner convinced both of our little brothers that we are naming our son Obi-Wan. They now won't stop rubbing my belly and quoting Star Wars. This is going to be one long Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7442

You deserved it

1054

Favorite

By fireman - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25973

You deserved it

8344

Favorite

By firstdate - United States

Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36142

You deserved it

5288

Favorite

By jobless - United States

Today, I fell asleep during a job interview as it was taking place over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9675

You deserved it

30144

Favorite

By Mamaofdrama

Today, I was working on potty training my daughter. She opened the fridge while I wasn't looking and peed all over the lower shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1871

You deserved it

308

Favorite

By ApparentDrugAddict - United States

Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42789

You deserved it

7303

Favorite

By PerpetuallyHappy - United States - Rochester

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26778

You deserved it

1905

Favorite

By touche :/ - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I went to a big job interview. Eventually, the guy subtly enquired about my political beliefs. He seemed pretty laid-back and cool, so I told him, at which point he just chuckled and told me to leave. When I threatened to report him, he just said, "Who're they gonna believe, you or me?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

46642

You deserved it

8201

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By pqpm | 13

#7453769 - Saturday 13 May 2017 1:15

Talk about burning bridges...

COMMENTS

By pqpm | 13

#7453769 - Saturday 13 May 2017 1:15

Talk about burning bridges...