Money: Today, my boss called me in to tell me I had got a raise. I... - FML

07/01/2009 21:54 - United States

Today, my boss called me in to tell me I had got a raise. I bought a $1500 Chanel bag. Two hours later he called me in to tell me he was kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 878

You deserved it 44 828

There's no helping some people

Broken heart

Creepy idea, dude

24/09/2009 09:50 - United Kingdom

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 748

You deserved it 2 899

13/05/2014 22:37 - United States - Milledgeville

Today, I went to a restaurant with my friend, where my credit card got denied in front of everyone. The staff teased me and made me sit in the restaurant while my friend begged for money outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 776

You deserved it 8 270

15/06/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I went on a date with this guy and he was on his phone the whole night. When I got home I checked his facebook since he barely paid attention to me. His status was, "So-and-so is taking out the trash" from mobile posted an hour ago. I got home from my date 30 mins ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 195

You deserved it 3 767

23/05/2009 16:07 - United States

Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 am my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because: "the cat is sad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 402

You deserved it 8 922

Cemetery Gates

By KateHGW - 09/06/2021 00:01

Today, I handed in an internship assignment that I have been working on for months. Once submitted, a pop-up showed, stating the assignment was 100% plagiarized. What was it plagiarized from? A student paper. My own, to be more specific - the exact same paper I had uploaded seconds before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 58

17/12/2016 16:43 - United States - Irving

Today, I found out why the temps were not invited to the company Christmas party. The company paid for the regular employees to go to a nice restaurant, gave them nice presents, and handed out substantial bonuses. They keep telling me they can't hire me on because the company can't afford it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 252

You deserved it 788

06/06/2013 20:51 - Peru - Lima

Today, after having spent years staying in school, working hard to achieve good grades, and avoiding all the bad kids, my mom accused me of having no direction in life and complained about how I haven't given her a grandchild yet. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 911

You deserved it 3 314

You IDIOT

By A.L.Woody - 11/08/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 770

You deserved it 112 653

10/06/2013 02:27 - United States

Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 196

You deserved it 7 638

26/06/2009 06:43 - United States

Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 941

You deserved it 6 601

15/01/2010 00:43 - United States

Today, I woke up in my boyfriend's dorm and decided to take a shower before he woke up. I used the girls bathroom on the above floor, and afterwards just threw on a towel and ran to the elevator. I forgot to press my boyfriend's floor and I was taken to the lobby in a towel. People were waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 028

You deserved it 32 163

Get out

By F.U. QFN - 28/03/2021 00:29

Today, I was given my marching orders because I corrected my supervisor on something he was actually doing wrong. It seems I deserve this for "not learning to obey my immediate superiors." FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 78

18/09/2009 23:28 - United States

Today, I was at work when my mother texted me, "You take a nice picture." I replied, "What picture?" I then got a reply saying, "The one on your speeding ticket showing you going 73 in a 55 mph zone. You're even smiling." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 882

You deserved it 45 971

02/06/2010 18:17 - United States

Today, my wife changed her facebook status from "married" to "widowed". I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 971

You deserved it 5 233

16/02/2015 06:01 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 842

You deserved it 2 529

26/11/2014 19:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Spicy

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 936

You deserved it 6 749

PSA

By Anonymous - 24/10/2020 21:02 - United States - Tampa

Today, I just spent 3 hours at work reading FML posts and giggling at my desk. For the blurred out posts, I was moving my desk chair back to read what they said while squinting. I just realized I can hover the mouse and it will be clear and not blurry anymore. Now I have a headache and got in trouble with my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 1 449

26/07/2015 22:43 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to put a lasagna in the oven for dinner. I was greeted by a revolting scent of a chicken-soup and biscuits boxed dinner. The fridge apparently was too full for my brother to put it away inside, so he covered it up and forgot about it in the oven. We made that dinner two weeks ago. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 23 309

You deserved it 2 168

05/09/2015 18:48 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was putting baby powder on my bare ass, when his dad walked into the room, casually set a laundry basket next to the bed, and walked out like nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 830

You deserved it 8 134

07/05/2011 21:42 - United States

Today, I was walking through my kitchen when I discovered a weak spot in the floor. Tomorrow, I'm going to have to fix the giant hole caused when I put my foot through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 393

You deserved it 4 792

06/04/2010 07:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, after about a month with no sex, my girlfriend told me to come up to her room and began kissing me passionately. She got me down to my underwear before informing me that she had Spanish homework left. To make things better, upon finishing up, she went straight to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 503

You deserved it 5 866

19/09/2011 14:26 - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 635

You deserved it 3 759

29/12/2011 05:53 - United States

Today, I discovered that I have to share a room with my new stepbrother. I also discovered that he takes the same number of showers over the course of two weeks as I do in a single day: one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 071

You deserved it 2 243

22/11/2018 13:30

Today, my husband left our untrained puppy out of its kennel when he left for work. I got home and all of the baby books my parents just bought for us that were on the coffee table in a backpack were completely destroyed, along with the bag and parts of our wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 554

You deserved it 367

02/04/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 511

You deserved it 51 498

29/01/2009 23:08 - United States

Today, a toddler's play ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 668

You deserved it 3 891

Authentification required

By Anonymous - 06/08/2021 10:01

Today, after registering my cellphone as my secondary authentication device for my campus account, it died for good. Despite still being logged in, most of my college's services are now locked behind a code sent to my unresponsive phone, including the ability to register any new authentication devices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 105

18/06/2013 04:07 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 733

You deserved it 5 835

07/12/2015 19:04 - United States - East Lansing

Today, I started taking my anxiety meds. Without them I can't function because I'm constantly fighting off panic attacks, but with them I can't function because I get crippling headaches and heartburn and feel tired all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 344

You deserved it 2 064

24/04/2009 22:23 - United States

Today, my mom had big news. I've been trying to get her to quit smoking because of second hand smoke for 20 years. She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well. Her big news? She's quitting. She doesn't want to hurt the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 210

You deserved it 3 739

Beat It

By Anonymous - 07/09/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, we had an office party and everyone had to dress as a dead star. I love Michael Jackson so I dressed up as him. It turns out I looked more like my boss than Michael. I was then written up for "theoretically" killing my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 596

You deserved it 168

14/09/2012 14:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 530

You deserved it 3 107

30/10/2013 16:43 - United States - Houston

Today, I found out that I'm highly-placed in my wrestling competition this year. I also found out that I have mono and won't be able to take part for at least the first half of the competition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 383

You deserved it 3 933

TMI FML

By Anonymous - 03/08/2014 17:36 - Sweden - Kristianstad

Today, while I was waiting for the train, a woman sat next to me. Her dog jumped up between us and I started petting it. She took this to mean we were now close enough for her to tell me in detail about her experience so far going through the menopause. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 005

You deserved it 4 413

15/08/2013 17:39 - Spain - Mon?var

Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 860

You deserved it 3 433

07/02/2009 07:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized my best friend has had it off in my apartment more times than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 289

You deserved it 5 341

22/10/2012 22:51 - United States - Finleyville

Today, I saw my music teacher, who I considered one of my role-models, on TV. Too bad it was because she'd robbed a church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 170

You deserved it 1 878

27/09/2013 07:33 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 123

You deserved it 17 817

Toxic

By makeupsex - 14/02/2012 11:25 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he put me through so much heartache last year was because the make-up sex was awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 134

You deserved it 5 218

13/03/2012 06:12 - United States

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 423

You deserved it 2 455

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Top comments

pewp 5

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Tuesday 10 March 2009 22:11

It was stupid on your bosses part, but even more stupid on your part. Here is some advice for you: don't spend money that you don't have! But, I guess anyone who spends $1500 on a handbag wouldn't be smart enough to do that. The next time you want to throw away money like that, give it to me and I'll use it to spend on my tuition.

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Saturday 7 February 2009 6:00

Is his name Michael Scott?

Comments

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Saturday 7 February 2009 6:00

Is his name Michael Scott?

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 7:39

Hahaha...so true.

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Tuesday 1 June 2010 4:10

are you dumb? was this bag made out of the hair of Polynesian virgins? cuz if it wasn't then there's no reason to spend that much money

2kool4skoolyo 0

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Tuesday 10 August 2010 18:31

designer bags fail. Ydi for being a retarded spendthrift

aldotheapache 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 5:26

that's exactly what I thought. Definitely something that he'd do or has done before.

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Wednesday 15 September 2010 2:28

1 wins

Brodeurfan001 0

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 7:58

The office ftw lol

akg98 13

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Friday 29 June 2012 2:33

Win

cwl727 32

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Saturday 15 March 2014 23:31

It's a Chanel bag. They are always expensive.

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Tuesday 24 February 2009 9:00

you think its a coincidence your boss played a joke on you? Ur an idiot!

BeautyAndBrains 0

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Friday 27 February 2009 7:01

Okay guys, she was excited, she was celebrating. You're honestly going to tell me that you've never spent money on something you didn't need? Everyone does that sometimes, especially in celebration. And her boss is a prick for doing that to her. And #8, in's DRAWER, not draw.

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Sunday 28 February 2010 1:35

#8, I can honestly say that I have never payed $1500 for something when I could have spent a few bucks for something that serves the exact same purpose.

Chocolate_Chunk 2

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Wednesday 8 September 2010 9:45

I did spend money for something I diddn't need. it was about $10. do you see the difference?

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Friday 1 April 2011 9:20

holy shit! I found a 20 dollar bill on the sidewalk!!! I'm gonna go buy a hundred pet rocks!!!!!

skullcandifiedDJ 5

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Tuesday 13 March 2012 20:54

She's a materialistic dumbass for buying a $1500 dollar chanel bag...

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Saturday 2 June 2012 15:19

Well that is quite a generalization!

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Friday 17 August 2012 7:41

You are #8.

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Thursday 24 October 2013 0:04

No YOU'RE #8.

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Friday 5 September 2014 18:24

No, I'm Spartacus.

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Friday 16 September 2016 22:38

Ummmm not $1500 on a damn bag. Does it carry itself next to you while walking around? Does it hand you stuff on its own? Is it magic or something? Stupid. Excited or not, she wasn't being very intelligent.

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Monday 2 March 2009 19:11

Anytime you're offered a job or raise, GET IT IN WRITING.

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Tuesday 3 March 2009 11:43

RETURN IT FOR A REFUND. PLEASE.

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Thursday 16 June 2011 18:27

Agreed

M3DO 24

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Tuesday 3 May 2016 19:39

They might not let her. Some stores don't allow refunds

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Tuesday 3 March 2009 22:21

your like Paris Hilton on a budget. Stupid with limits.

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Tuesday 6 January 2015 3:39

Damn I don't even want to correct the error, that was so good

pewp 5

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Tuesday 10 March 2009 22:11

It was stupid on your bosses part, but even more stupid on your part. Here is some advice for you: don't spend money that you don't have! But, I guess anyone who spends $1500 on a handbag wouldn't be smart enough to do that. The next time you want to throw away money like that, give it to me and I'll use it to spend on my tuition.

thhopelessrmntc 0

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Thursday 12 March 2009 23:28

Yeah, people, stop saying it was foolish to splurge on a little treat for herself when she was celebrating a raise! She had thought she had come to a pretty decent amount of money; she may have acted on impulse, she had reason to believe she had the money to back it up! It's not to say she spends that regularly. That was very rude of your boss, by the way. He could have atleast told you he was kidding BEFORE he tricked you into thinking you had reason (and extra money) to 'celebrate'. Regardless, it was cruel and unneccessary. An occasional joke is fine, but not when it's affensive and cause consequences for others. Sorry this happened to you, you DID NOT deserve that... not at all!

Chocolate_Chunk 2

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Wednesday 8 September 2010 9:52

$1500 are NOT a little treat and therefore she DID deserve it and more.

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Saturday 28 September 2013 22:04

Wow. You really think $1500 is a "little" treat? Dumbass.

rootbeerfanatic 6

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Monday 16 March 2009 3:39

# 1, hilarious! thats exactly what i was thinking!

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Tuesday 17 March 2009 2:54

Okay, so it was an asshole move on your boss's part, true. But you're still fucking stupid for going and buying a $1500 bag that probably costs less than 5 dollars to make, labor included, before you even got off work that day! I mean, really? Who the fuck does that? Not to mention the fact that you weren't even intelligent enough to ask for a written and signed statement, which would've save you from your false happiness and spending $1500 you probably don't have to spend. You absolutely deserved that.

Nearly

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 6

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 8

Spicy

Spicy

Today, for the first time I had to lie to the man I intend to marry, because I had a very intense and hot dream about Leslie Nielsen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 18

Today, my boyfriend came out as a polyamorous, and then immediately asked me if he could date another guy I thought was my friend. I’m such a pushover, I said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 438