By Anonymous - 27/08/2009 04:12 - United States
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meh i don't see the problem, it's not like he thought you were "messed up"
i totally agree! he didnt even mention her being messed up. he just asked how it effected her and he didnt want his children to be messed up, if he thought she was messed up he would've said something like, i've been thinking about divorcing my wife, but i dont want them to end up messed up like you.
not a FML but still a good story. perhaps u just saved his children some serious grief.
It's actually a lot better for the kids if the parents get divorced than that the kids have to live in a home where the parents are forcing themselves to be together. And this isn't really a FML. He didn't say the OP was messed up, and he actually cares about his kids enough to ask.
The best thing for the kids, would be the parents working out their differences like adults instead of just giving up on the relationship at the first sign of trouble. Staying together and fighting all the time or getting a divorce and tearing the family apart, will always be a kick in the balls towards kids, and can have serious repercussion depending on the child. they might have just gave the child some serious grief
This is probably one of the most ignorant things on here. As someone whose parents divorced 15 years ago, I can tell you that my mom and dad had problems from the beginning. Not going into detail, because it's their business, not ours, but my mom was married for 14 years before she asked for the divorce. She too thought that she should "stay for the kids" and "stick it out" because that's what parents have done for generations. Self-sacrifice to benefit their family. And while that is COMPLETELY unselfish and even noble, there are two things: 1.) People have found out that miserable parents staying together actually hurts the children more, usually, than a divorce and 2.) Sure, at age 8, no child wants his family torn apart. I would have done anything for my mom and dad to stay together. But as I got older, i saw how much better it was for both parents (and myself!) that my mom decided to leave. As long as the two parents can agree to divorce in a mature, adult way that won't screw up their children--it's better than staying for the kids. I know several people who spent their teenage days wishing their parents would get divorced so they could all have some peace and happiness. Everyone deserves to be happy, and some people suffer for YEARS before they leave. Don't be so quick to judge.
yeah amicably divorced parents are much better for children than married parents who fight all the time... sadly I know this from experience and honestly I wish my parents wouldn't have "stayed together for the kids" as long as they had because we all knew that the marriage was over already
All of you are only saying you wish your parents didn’t “stay together for the kids” because that’s all you’ve experience. If you were on my end of the spectrum where your parent did divorced when you were at a young age you would be wishing otherwise. I’m not staying the parents should stay together forever but you should at least put your differences aside until you’re sure your kids are old and mature enough to handle a divorce, instead of selfishly putting your kids in the middle of the cross fire. 14...23 years? I hope you’re not 22 years old cause your more than old enough, if anything you should be living on your own. As long as your kids are, at least 12 then I have no problem with divorce, if not then you haven’t really done what’s best for your kids. I would also love to know which “people have found out that miserable parents staying together actually hurts the children more”. Please someone enlighten me to who these all knowing people are and what makes them such experts on the topic.
I'm 17. My parents were married for 10 years before having kids (their own reasons, mostly to be sure they were in a stable relationship). They then had my brother, and four years later had me. I was 9 1/2 when they separated, and I have no regrets. I guess there are a lot of situations in which the kid really would be better off with their parents being together. But in my situation, it was better because my mom cheered up and could parent me better.
My parents got divorced when I was 4. And I'm so much happier living with my mom than I am when my parents are together. Because they fight every 5 minutes lol... But seriously, other than money issues, life with a single parent is better than life with parents who hate each other. And most people don't get divorced at the first sign of trouble. Divorce is long and probably expensive, it's not something you do for fun.