By meghandix89 - 20/12/2016 01:35 - United States

Spicy
Today, my aunt asked me to have my 13-year-old autistic cousin stay over for the night. When he got here, he told me his mom forgot his Vaseline, and asked if I'd be a dear and go get some for him. His mom informed me that he uses it to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks 9 748
You deserved it 725
Kids
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Dave_Davington 33
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Hey, don't judge. 13 year old autistic cousins have needs too, you know.

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Tripartita 44
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I can say from experience that circumcised folks don't need lube to masturbate. I've never heard that before. Foreskin only covers the glans of the penis, so unless you really like rubbing the head, the shaft is unaffected by circumcision.

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QueenOfSuppness 25
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Some things should not be told.

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itssnotfunny 24

Oh boy, that kid is slick.

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Magnoxidans 19
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Wingman of the year!

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Dave_Davington 33
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Hey, don't judge. 13 year old autistic cousins have needs too, you know.

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baybkayks 18

Special needs

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Zahafiz Aqil 4
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The fuck. -0- wonder if i'm autistic. damn.it would make so much sense if i am. though some of the symptoms aint on me

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maritime1992 5
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I'd tell her to take his ass to the local motel 6 down the road.

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hpandher 16
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Am I only one who is wondering what in the world he needs vaseline for?

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alex_gen 38
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If you don't know, you're not old enough.

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tj4234 35
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Yeah, you are.

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ChristinePi 36
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It says it in the FML.

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Sir_Cow 17

Vaseline is a lube.

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tounces7 27

Although, the worst lube, frankly.

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species4872 19

Bit of a slippery slope this one.

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trollcrusher 17
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Come now, let's not judge! Maybe he's just been dry-dogging it his whole life, and never discovered the wonders of... lubricated recreation.

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hpandher 16
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I understand what he's up to but what role is vaseline supposed to play??

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Dat_Class_Tho 26
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Circumsised males require lube to rub one out.

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Tripartita 44
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I can say from experience that circumcised folks don't need lube to masturbate. I've never heard that before. Foreskin only covers the glans of the penis, so unless you really like rubbing the head, the shaft is unaffected by circumcision.

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Colon_Man 17
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Sounds like he's a master baiter.

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pscool 11
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All 13-year-old boys have needs! And if he doesn't have an older brother or cousin to educate him. Be a good Aunt an upgrade his lubrication of choice. People in the comments are confused about his Vaseline choice, this and hand lotion would be a young boys first options they all truly believe they are being discreet and that no one knows what they want it for! They're just really concerned about chapel lips and dry skin ya right! Hook him up with something silicone-based! You'll be his favorite aunt for life!

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RichardPencil 30
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It's a Christmas miracle! Think of this as your chance to bring myrrh to the baby. You're like a wise man from the East!

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Benpai74 0

Bruhhhhhhhhhhhh wtf, his mom needs to at least keep it on the downlow

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