Today, my aunt asked me to have my 13-year-old autistic cousin stay over for the night. When he got here, he told me his mom forgot his Vaseline, and asked if I'd be a dear and go get some for him. His mom informed me that he uses it to masturbate. FML
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By
Dave_Davington
| 33
Hey, don't judge. 13 year old autistic cousins have needs too, you know.
By
QueenOfSuppness
| 25
Some things should not be told.
COMMENTS
By
QueenOfSuppness
| 25
Some things should not be told.
Reply
itssnotfunny
| 24
Oh boy, that kid is slick.
By
Magnoxidans
| 19
Wingman of the year!
By
Dave_Davington
| 33
Hey, don't judge. 13 year old autistic cousins have needs too, you know.
Reply
baybkayks
| 18
Special needs
Reply
Zahafiz Aqil
| 4
The fuck. -0- wonder if i'm autistic.
damn.it would make so much sense if i am. though some of the symptoms aint on me
damn.it would make so much sense if i am. though some of the symptoms aint on me
By
maritime1992
| 5
I'd tell her to take his ass to the local motel 6 down the road.
By
hpandher
| 16
Am I only one who is wondering what in the world he needs vaseline for?
Reply
alex_gen
| 38
If you don't know, you're not old enough.
Reply
tj4234
| 35
Yeah, you are.
Reply
ChristinePi
| 36
It says it in the FML.
Reply
Sir_Cow
| 17
Vaseline is a lube.
Reply
tounces7
| 27
Although, the worst lube, frankly.
Reply
species4872
| 19
Bit of a slippery slope this one.
Reply
trollcrusher
| 17
Come now, let's not judge! Maybe he's just been dry-dogging it his whole life, and never discovered the wonders of... lubricated recreation.
By
hpandher
| 16
I understand what he's up to but what role is vaseline supposed to play??
Reply
stupidpplsuck
| 33
Lube
Reply
Piaze
| 7
Lube?
Reply
Dat_Class_Tho
| 26
Circumsised males require lube to rub one out.
Reply
Tripartita
| 44
I can say from experience that circumcised folks don't need lube to masturbate. I've never heard that before.
Foreskin only covers the glans of the penis, so unless you really like rubbing the head, the shaft is unaffected by circumcision.
Foreskin only covers the glans of the penis, so unless you really like rubbing the head, the shaft is unaffected by circumcision.
By
Colon_Man
| 17
Sounds like he's a master baiter.
Reply
ConfederateSlave
| 2
gold
By
pscool
| 11
All 13-year-old boys have needs! And if he doesn't have an older brother or cousin to educate him. Be a good Aunt an upgrade his lubrication of choice. People in the comments are confused about his Vaseline choice, this and hand lotion would be a young boys first options they all truly believe they are being discreet and that no one knows what they want it for! They're just really concerned about chapel lips and dry skin ya right! Hook him up with something silicone-based! You'll be his favorite aunt for life!
By
RichardPencil
| 29
It's a Christmas miracle! Think of this as your chance to bring myrrh to the baby. You're like a wise man from the East!
By
Benpai74
| 0
Bruhhhhhhhhhhhh wtf, his mom needs to at least keep it on the downlow