Today, multiple people informed my girlfriend that I’m cheating...

06/08/2019 12:00

Today, multiple people informed my girlfriend that I’m cheating on her. I’m not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 848

You deserved it 102

Broken heart

Dementia or hate? You decide

Good kid

08/07/2009 17:52 - United States

Today, at work, I was calling customers to tell them that they had prescriptions waiting to be picked up. It was a long list and every time I reached an answering machine I left our number so they could call us back. When I was finished, the pharmacist told me I been giving out our fax number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 850

You deserved it 39 127

But my babiiiiiiies!

By fmylifeee - 27/09/2019 04:00

Today, my wife and I invited my boss over for dinner, specifically warning her not to bring her children due to our house not being childproof. She surprised us by walking in with her toddlers. They both shat on our carpets, then my dog knocked them into a wall. I guess I'll start looking for another job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 188

06/06/2009 16:01 - United States

Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 771

You deserved it 5 606

01/03/2015 18:59 - United Kingdom - Wetheringsett

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 360

You deserved it 3 180

FUPA kings

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 18:00

Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 118

Thanks ma

By 1940s wants their attitude back - 29/09/2020 20:01 - United States

Today, I excitedly told my mom how I got accepted to the master’s program of my dreams. She decided now would be a good time to proudly repeat for the millionth time how she gave up a full ride to the Ivy League to marry my father, and I ought to be a "good woman" and do the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 608

You deserved it 170

05/05/2013 04:28 - Canada - Toronto

Today, as a condominium security guard, I had to enter an old lady's apartment to supervise the mandatory maintenance taking place inside. I commented on the lakeside view from her window and mentioned, "This is a pretty nice view up here isn't it?" It turns out that she's blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 709

You deserved it 7 272

13/11/2009 19:13 - Germany

Today, I found out that my mom called my boss informing him that I am a little behind on some college projects. She felt he should know that she fears I might not be able to graduate on the planned date. My boss had already offered me a permanent job. I may not get that job now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 929

You deserved it 3 054

03/02/2016 13:33 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I tried to explain autism to my classmates. One of them, a professional cunt who's always looking for an excuse to lecture people, accused me of being "ableist" because my explanations weren't accurate, and said I shouldn't explain things I don't understand. I'm actually autistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 424

You deserved it 1 624

15/06/2011 05:07 - United States

Today, a car hit me while I was in a crosswalk. The driver jumped out of her car and stepped over me to check her car for damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 107

You deserved it 3 108

15/06/2016 06:18 - United States - Crossville

Today, while working the drive-thru at work, an older woman asked for my phone number to give to her single son. After I politely declined, she called me a slut and threw her food at me through the window before promptly speeding off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 166

You deserved it 1 010

Welcome to the machine

By Anonymous - 30/09/2021 20:01

Today, I was laid off on the day I was about to put in an offer on a house. This company promised me the world, and I broke myself working to prove my worth. Turns out, I wasn't getting paid for the lunches and breaks I didn't take either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 124

17/02/2010 18:52 - United States

Today, my husband decided to be helpful and do all the laundry, including pre-treating all the stains. He felt that Clorox Clean-Up with Bleach would be the most effective. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 970

You deserved it 3 751

24/06/2011 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 005

You deserved it 4 219

20/09/2010 14:33 - United States

Today, I got fired from my recently acquired job at a doctor's office because I don't "agree with family values". The way I'm disrespecting their "family values"? I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 237

You deserved it 22 462

28/02/2016 09:15 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, my sister shared a post on Facebook which talked about how gays are destroying the "sanctity of marriage". I couldn't help but point out that she's been married 3 times in the last 7 years, while I've been happily married to my wife for nearly 9. She deleted my comment then blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 502

You deserved it 2 307

The Voice

By legit247 - 10/05/2013 04:44 - United States - Moscow Mills

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was cleaning dishes in the back. I started to sing to myself. During the chorus I heard the echo of my voice in my ear. My boss had pushed the talk button on my headset so every staff member and everyone in the lobby could hear me over the intercom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 678

You deserved it 9 417

06/02/2014 06:57 - Australia - Bayswater

Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 957

You deserved it 8 221

25/06/2019 14:00

Today, I went to my fifth job interview in a month. While going over my CV, I found a watermark on the bottom of my cover letter that said it was generated by a template website. Yep, I gave all previous interviewers the same cover letter, with the same watermark. Can't wait to hear back! FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 1 810

Any excuse

By GonnnaBBroke - 04/06/2021 22:01

Today, I lived at home rent free, until now. According to my mother, I receive "too many packages" from online shopping, and now I need to "chip in." FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 1 672

31/07/2019 04:00 - United States

Today, I went to the hospital for wrenching pains in my abdomen. It turns out I have the largest "non removable" kidney stone my doctor has ever seen. It's the size of a fucking walnut. I have to pass the thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 026

You deserved it 100

20/11/2008 11:10 - France

Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 238

You deserved it 3 427

15/01/2015 15:12 - United States

Today, like every other day at work, I had to listen to people talk about being addicted to sex. I have to treat people for addiction to something I've never even had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 267

You deserved it 5 310

31/12/2018 20:00

Today, my nineteen-year-old son attempted to mug me. With a screwdriver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 822

You deserved it 344

30/04/2017 22:00

Today, after recently celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary, my husband and I watched my mom and his dad say "I Do". I am now married to my step-brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 618

You deserved it 486

20/11/2015 17:20 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, the local gossip was in line behind me at the shop. She saw me buying pregnancy tests. The good news is that I'm not pregnant. The bad news is that she'll definitely have everyone thinking I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 465

You deserved it 2 184

10/06/2016 14:28 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. My wife came in and thought I was jerking him off. She wouldn't believe my explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 578

You deserved it 1 107

Phone-blocked

By unamyous - 08/06/2012 13:26 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 502

You deserved it 4 126

18/08/2009 16:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went on our 2nd date. We decided to get to know each other with a game. I asked him what makes him nervous. He said "talking to really attractive girls." I then asked him if I was making him nervous. He said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 241

You deserved it 15 755

24/03/2009 05:47 - United States

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124 706

You deserved it 9 133

19/02/2010 07:41 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 482

You deserved it 3 611

25/05/2015 01:59 - United States

Today, my housemates are throwing a huge house party to celebrate finishing their finals. It's 4:30am and people are still arriving. I have my last final in 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 592

You deserved it 2 346

06/09/2015 03:31 - United States

Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 972

You deserved it 2 429

31/03/2012 04:49 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I found a used condom in my trash can. I have been happily married to my wife for 7 years, and we use other forms of birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 002

You deserved it 2 921

03/11/2016 06:10

Today, my mother finally finalized her divorce! Unfortunately, she'll have to sell the house, and when she does, she'll move in with me. I only moved out a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 660

You deserved it 908

13/12/2008 05:48 - France

Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 737

You deserved it 2 944

Make your mind up

By firedupasshole - 27/07/2020 05:01

Today, while taking to-go orders at my restaurant, a customer called saying he wanted his food well done. He even said, “Burn it to a crisp.” Which is what I told the kitchen. When he came to pick it up, he opened his food, inspected it and screamed, “Not this burned, you damn retard!” and threw it at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 471

You deserved it 125

02/03/2009 18:52 - Canada

Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 493

You deserved it 7 584

31/01/2010 13:35 - Canada

Today, I went out on my first date in 2 months. My sister and her friends were also at the same restaurant we went to. I decided to ignore them but they didn't. As a joke, they though it would be funny if her friend came up and said, "I had fun last night, we should do it again". My date left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 310

You deserved it 2 712

25/06/2015 07:06 - Australia - Subiaco

Today, I was complimented on my improved performance over the last 3 months. My boss said he doesn't know what I've done to improve, but to keep it up. I'd only started looking for another job, and stopped giving a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 169

You deserved it 2 363

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2019 16:06

It’s probably a guy who wants to bang her and his friends (who want to bang her themselves or are just being their bro’s wing men.)

Trinity Fenwick 7

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2019 15:39

maybe she's the one cheating and set you up so she could play around and still smell like roses

Comments

Henry8cooper 15

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2019 14:40

If you're doing the time - you might as well do the crime. Have fun

Trinity Fenwick 7

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2019 15:39

maybe she's the one cheating and set you up so she could play around and still smell like roses

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 August 2019 16:06

It’s probably a guy who wants to bang her and his friends (who want to bang her themselves or are just being their bro’s wing men.)

sarahcroy20 12

Send a private message

Saturday 12 December 2020 20:05

I'm curious as to why multiple people would tell her that?

Nearly

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 6

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 8

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came out as a polyamorous, and then immediately asked me if he could date another guy I thought was my friend. I’m such a pushover, I said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 324

Today, I have an internal defibrillator from trauma to my heart 12 years ago. I finally experienced for the first time what it's like when it shocks me. Nothing says I'm a keeper like getting kicked in the chest and smacked upside the back of the head with a baseball bat while clapping cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 69