Intimacy: Today, me and my dad were in a sort of prank war. I decided to...

By ObviousBooty - United States - Kankakee

Today, me and my dad were in a sort of prank war. I decided to get him back for one last time tonight, so I hid in his office to scare him. This would have been okay had I not caught him watching porn. I had to hide for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15821

You deserved it

3672

Favorite

Intimacy

Out of it

Clocked

Life is unfair…

By toad - Canada

Today, I found my daughter on Facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53073

You deserved it

6128

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50731

You deserved it

7758

Favorite

By PatientInWaiting - United States

Today, I had a conversation with another patient in my gyno's waiting room. It was about her getting pregnant in a truck while passed out drunk, her therapist's frequent use of a "For Dummies" books, and how she had waxed and oiled everything to impress our doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23141

You deserved it

2465

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I actually said the words "yes, a blowjob from a guy is still cheating" to my husband. I never thought that would be a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4345

You deserved it

283

Favorite

By Text - United States

Today, I asked my friend to stop texting me, because I'm on a limited plan and didn't want to go over my limit. She responded by getting a group of her friends to text bomb me. I got well over a hundred one-word texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36152

You deserved it

8345

Favorite

By FangirlMess6 - United States

Today, I saw a man stuck in his car door by his jacket. I ran over to help him, and his wife hit me with her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3754

You deserved it

312

Favorite

By svenska75 - France - Paris

Today, I told my physiotherapist a funny story. She got so entertained that she started giggling and twisted my broken arm. The pain was worse than when it broke in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36779

You deserved it

3802

Favorite

By moudly - United States

Today, my mom finally believed me when I said I smelled mold. I lifted up the couch, and it was covered in mold. So were the bottoms of all our furniture, our beds, and my grandma's vintage chair. We've been living in mold for the past 4 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31525

You deserved it

4971

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30963

You deserved it

2402

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered the piggy bank I made a Facebook account for has more friends than me. It has 12. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27504

You deserved it

14386

Favorite

By 2fast4U - Canada - Vancouver

Today, some of my coworkers have complained that I don't do my share of the work, though they can't specify exactly what I'm not getting done. Apparently, being too efficient and finishing first means I mustn't have done anything at all. The supervisor sided with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22364

You deserved it

1621

Favorite

By PlsForget - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I was volunteering at a neighborhood house tutoring a bunch of kids. Everything was going fine until one of them jumped on the table I was at, which broke and hit my knee. I swore in front of all the kids and my volunteer coordinator. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13579

You deserved it

1275

Favorite

By lamortdeshommes - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42836

You deserved it

8288

Favorite

By Too fast. - Uruguay - Montevideo

Today, I got told by my classmates to slow down because I put too much pressure on them. I'm taking a class in accounting for the first time in my life, we are all over 25 and so far we are doing basic math. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9117

You deserved it

767

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51729

You deserved it

17041

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Sexy time

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25377

You deserved it

59169

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend dumped me was because his parents don't like the fact that I go to a prestigious university. However, they're completely accepting of the drunken slob who's dating their daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38592

You deserved it

3734

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43257

You deserved it

18037

Favorite

By poseidon5213 - United States - Inglewood

Today, I started my job as one of those sign spinners. About an hour later, some people drove up, yelled, "Bitch, get off my corner," and threw water balloons at me. My boss made me keep working in the soaking wet outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24938

You deserved it

2614

Favorite

By crapules - France

Today, my boss asked me, "Can I give you some constructive criticism?" I said yes. He told me, "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30859

You deserved it

3651

Favorite

By mcdeez - New Zealand

Today, I had to cover for my coworker who didn't turn up for work. He is always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again so I said to my colleagues "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46305

You deserved it

14299

Favorite

By nuerrotticc

Today, I had a panic attack at 2am because someone decided to throw a snowball at my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25462

You deserved it

6688

Favorite

By noquiero - United Kingdom - Peterlee

Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22943

You deserved it

3475

Favorite

By Anonymous - Norway - Nesoddtangen

Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44832

You deserved it

3989

Favorite

By collegekid - 17/5/2020 14:00

Marriage story

Today, after 25 years of marriage, my parents decided to get a very nasty and extremely expensive divorce. Using my college tuition to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1881

You deserved it

144

Favorite

By Anonymous - 23/12/2020 05:02

Merry Christmas, or not

Today, I got a quick COVID test and got a positive result. Christmas is in 3 days, my son and husband have to stay with my mom and Christmas is my favorite holiday. I've never been away from them this long and it is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

923

You deserved it

1338

Favorite

By WaterNeeded

Shortage

Today, I came back from a holiday with in-laws who don't speak English. After taking a dump and not being able to flush, I realised they had turned off the water prior to the holiday. I had to show them my poop to explain they had no running water. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3814

You deserved it

407

Favorite

By rattness - United States

Today, I found out the animal that was gnawing behind the kitchen wall all night was indeed a wild rat and his entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26909

You deserved it

2853

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/10/2020 02:02

Bass, how low can you go?

Today, I tried to study for my upcoming engineering exam. The class I’m in is notorious for being incredibly difficult and is oftentimes the reason for people dropping out of the major. Too bad the dudes in the apartment next to me have a subwoofer and keep playing music that has way too much bass. FML

I agree, your life sucks

976

You deserved it

Favorite

By juliestrawsky

Today, I was paid to be in a commercial, playing a hiker, camping and grilling by a tent with my pretend boyfriend. To make our on-camera interaction more believable, I suggested to him, "Hey, I'm gonna feed you some food, into your mouth." His answer, "Naaah, I'm good." I got rejected on a FAKE date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1363

You deserved it

538

Favorite

By prdept. - France

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40070

You deserved it

20417

Favorite

By seriouslysinglenomingle - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, I realized that I can recognize each member of my disgusting family by the sound and smell of their farts. I can’t wait to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3340

You deserved it

363

Favorite

By Vero - Austria - Timelkam

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27256

You deserved it

3502

Favorite

By InstantHardOn - United States

Whenever

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks

43383

You deserved it

8120

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Bel Air

Today, I received a package from a local guy on Craigslist. Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only contained a photo of an iPhone. The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so my husband went over and beat the shit out of him. I now have to bail him out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46917

You deserved it

13510

Favorite

By ringhider - France

Today, I was working my shift at the restaurant as a waiter when the girl I've been in love with for 4 years came in with her boyfriend. He asked me to hide the ring in their dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48537

You deserved it

6908

Favorite

By Anonymous - 24/2/2021 04:56

The joys of public transportation

Today, I was on the subway and there was a guy yelling, "Regret your sins and devote yourself to God right now." Another man got up from his seat and told him, "I work 12 hours a day and all I want is to go home and rest, you shut the fuck up or I'll make you meet God personally." FML

I agree, your life sucks

838

You deserved it

198

Favorite

By Tom

Long day

Today, I got the bus to work instead of walking so I could be there faster. However, I accidentally got on the wrong bus which let me off a mile and a half away from my workplace. Then, after another half-hour of trying to walk there, I found that it wasn't even open that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3620

You deserved it

1420

Favorite

By car trouble - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13063

You deserved it

753

Favorite

By Joanna

Today, during sex I said my side dick's name instead of my boyfriend. He isn't speaking to me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

635

You deserved it

12037

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By CrazyFastRapper | 7

#6651872 - Sunday 17 July 2016 18:33

*Has to pee the whole time*

By Jezterking | 15

#6651878 - Sunday 17 July 2016 18:44

Caught one-handed... Dun dun dun

COMMENTS

By CrazyFastRapper | 7

#6651872 - Sunday 17 July 2016 18:33

*Has to pee the whole time*

_Adog2645 | 24

#6651945 - Sunday 17 July 2016 21:43

What does that red pepper next to op's name mean?

SecundusSecunda | 27

#6651947 - Sunday 17 July 2016 21:44

I think it means that it's a "hot" FML

AmyPond17 | 33

#6651949 - Sunday 17 July 2016 21:46

@24 It means it's not safe for work

By Welshite | 39

#6651877 - Sunday 17 July 2016 18:42

I didn't realize watching porn was serious enough to be worth blackmailing over.

I guess I'll have to destroy all my tapes and get rid of the cameras in my neighbors' bedrooms.

By Jezterking | 15

#6651878 - Sunday 17 July 2016 18:44

Caught one-handed... Dun dun dun

By heatherrr17 | 19

#6651881 - Sunday 17 July 2016 18:47

I'm hoping you're a guy!

Jumbled_Mess | 7

#6651884 - Sunday 17 July 2016 18:59

Wait, how does the gender of the OP have any relevance what so ever?

Jumbled_Mess | 7

#6651891 - Sunday 17 July 2016 19:03

Seriously, downvotes for me? I'm the only one who thinks it would be just as bad to catch your father masturbating as catching your mother masturbating?

Tripartita | 44

#6651895 - Sunday 17 July 2016 19:15

That's nothing, #5; I'm hoping the OP is two little people under a trench coat. Get on my level.

moondoglou420 | 17

#6651907 - Sunday 17 July 2016 19:32

For whatever reason it definitely seems more traumatic if OP was a girl. Not sure why.

babs22291 | 15

#6651926 - Sunday 17 July 2016 20:25

I guess if his daughter caught her father masturbating that would definitely be way more awkward than being a teenage boy and catching your father.

ObviousBooty | 14

#6651977 - Sunday 17 July 2016 22:54

Alas, I am indeed a girl.

FYlife604 | 18

#6652041 - Monday 18 July 2016 1:11

fairly attractive one at that.

AngusEcrivain | 18

#6652061 - Monday 18 July 2016 2:05

Fairly? lol don't go too crazy with your compliments there...

heatherrr17 | 19

#6652785 - Monday 18 July 2016 22:54

Because it would be more awkward if you were a girl

Jay18 | 22

#6656815 - Sunday 24 July 2016 19:31

Sweet Home Alabama

By vikky538 | 28

#6651885 - Sunday 17 July 2016 19:00

Pron and prank does go HAND in HAND

gabimk23 | 13

#6651918 - Sunday 17 July 2016 20:00

looks like your dad won that one

By toolazytotype99 | 18

#6651886 - Sunday 17 July 2016 19:01

Why didn't you just jump out and scare him as soon as he walked in?

808andheartbreak | 16

#6651899 - Sunday 17 July 2016 19:21

terribly constructed prank!

By Jumbled_Mess | 7

#6651887 - Sunday 17 July 2016 19:01

My first thought was "why didn't you jump out of hiding as soon as it came on rather than enduring the 'full session'?" Then I realized that you probably froze. An that it might have been, um, "too late".

Jay18 | 22

#6656817 - Sunday 24 July 2016 19:33

would've been better if he did it while he was whacking it

By KingLewisII | 34

#6651888 - Sunday 17 July 2016 19:02

plot twist he knew you were there so he turned the porn on, on purpose.

By danm_1 | 28

#6651898 - Sunday 17 July 2016 19:21

seems like the prank is on you! But I'm sorry, OP! That must have sucked so bad. I hope you're not too scarred by what you heard/saw

By Magnoxidans | 19

#6651902 - Sunday 17 July 2016 19:26

If the choices were A) Jump out straight away explain the situation or B) sit in the same room as a porn watching, masterbating (assuming) father and you opted for the latter... Sorry OP but you're an idiot and YDI