Transportation: Today, me and couple of friends were driving around town and... - FML

By mbrooke - United States

Today, me and couple of friends were driving around town and saw a lady who had accidentally backed her car up onto a concrete wall. Laughing, we all turned to look as we passed and I drove straight into a parked police car at 30 that had stopped to help her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10160

You deserved it

102214

Tweet

Share

Vulture

This Charming Man

Life of Brian

By Anonymous

Eye-bleach please

Today, I have been having to work in a residence of people with disabilities when I normally do community work with disabled people and usually enjoy it. I have seen not one, but two elderly mens' genitals today when my actual job would never require me to see any. I didn’t sign up for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1405

You deserved it

260

Tweet

Share

By aishyaslife89 - United States - Dayton

Today, I found out that when I was 4 I killed my bunny by drowning it. Apparently, my aunt bribed me to do it because it pooped in her shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28838

You deserved it

2492

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40973

You deserved it

13098

Tweet

Share

By 3hoursleftofwork - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, the magic of witnessing a sheep giving birth was ruined for me when I slipped and fell in the puddle of birth fluids. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28669

You deserved it

5323

Tweet

Share

By longdrive - United States - San Francisco

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37433

You deserved it

5119

Tweet

Share

By apparentlytoofat

Superficial World

Today, my husband said he thinks of me as more of a roommate than a romantic interest, and he’s wouldn't be that attracted to me unless I lose another 20 pounds. I was just celebrating that I’d lost 5 pounds already in April. Stress makes it harder to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2192

You deserved it

289

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, after feeling like I've been sucking as a friend and contacting a friend who has called me their best friend, but doesn't talk to me much, we grabbed a coffee. The whole time I was trying to have a conversation, she was on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1478

You deserved it

166

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46285

You deserved it

5096

Tweet

Share

By yum yogurt - United States

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28315

You deserved it

17084

Tweet

Share

By ElemTeacher

Today, a student's parent yelled at me because they had to pay for school equipment their son had stolen from my desk. Apparently, it's my fault because the item was just too tempting for him not to steal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4623

You deserved it

246

Tweet

Share

By BathroomDweller - United States - Omaha

Today, I'm recovering from a urinary tract infection. The infection made me have to pee constantly. Now the antibiotics I'm taking for it are giving me the shits instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4822

You deserved it

363

Tweet

Share

By stupidquestionsstupidpeople - United States - Chicago Heights

Today, I met one of my favorite web-comic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37407

You deserved it

7773

Tweet

Share

By Shelly - United States

Today, the only one that became aroused while looking at me in my sexy Halloween costume was my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25037

You deserved it

12549

Tweet

Share

By Austin - United States

Today, I got a notice in the mail saying I had been fired from my job. My dad's the boss, who I happen to live with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32814

You deserved it

3768

Tweet

Share

By River - Oranjestad

Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream so I could be "reunited" with my family, since my name is River. The first thing I saw as I climbed out, soaking wet, was my boyfriend high-fiving his friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28472

You deserved it

2777

Tweet

Share

By Inez333

Today, I finally got to see my favorite aunt after months of her living far away with her new boyfriend. She now believes the Earth is flat, gravity is fake, the government is run by reptiles, and that vaccines are the devil themselves. She won't stop trying to convince me of her conspiracies. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2392

You deserved it

147

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Angleton

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16585

You deserved it

57289

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27037

You deserved it

1915

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Woodinville

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35368

You deserved it

5611

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years confessed that he was sleeping with me and 5 other girls while we first started dating. He told me he numbered us and rolled a die to see which one he would date. I guess I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39454

You deserved it

3814

Tweet

Share

By awskme - France

Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfiend of nine months. She's making a lot of noise so I tell her to keep it down and remind her my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later I get a text from my sister saying my parents want to make sure I'm wearing a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10628

You deserved it

28270

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States

Today, I slept through my alarm because it was drowned out by humming. My humming, in my sleep. Even my body is against me waking up on time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27847

You deserved it

2903

Tweet

Share

By Noname - United States

Today, I drove home on my birthday, and my mom said she'd meet me there. I was a little surprised to get home and find she wasn't there, but even more shocked to see my rabbit run over in my driveway. Turns out he'd gotten loose and my mom had run him over, panicked, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33995

You deserved it

2405

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Coquitlam

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46262

You deserved it

5081

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/9/2020 02:02

Kids say the darndest things

Today, I asked my 2-year-old if he loved me. His response? “No mama, stop.” FML

I agree, your life sucks

861

You deserved it

1025

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I had a teaching job interview. After giving my demo lesson, I was told by the director that I had given it on the wrong topic. Turns out, I never got the e-mail with the instructions for the interview. Now I'm definitely not getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1819

You deserved it

309

Tweet

Share

By frankie034 - Australia

Today, I was ordering some clothes from Abercrombie online and I went to measure my bust to check what size I am in American. I got my measurement, checked what size it would be and the size of my bust was not even listed on the website. Great. Now even Abercrombie thinks I have small tits. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52574

You deserved it

9111

Tweet

Share

By LonelyGuy - Australia

Today, I called this girl I've had a crush on for 2 years to confess my love to her. However, as she picked up the phone, I got so nervous that I froze and couldn't say a word. I was standing there, breathing heavily for 20 seconds. She got so freaked out that she threatened to call the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35062

You deserved it

9514

Tweet

Share

By CasaDeLoser - United States - Kent

Today, my kid made a new friend at school. When I asked her to describe her new friend, she said, "She looks kinda like you, only pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30974

You deserved it

3295

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Paterson

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML

I agree, your life sucks

33346

You deserved it

3518

Tweet

Share

By Caz

Today, I got on the Megabus for a 6-hour journey from London to Plymouth. I then realised I'd forgotten to fill up my water bottle and charge my iPod. It's a fully packed, sweaty hot loud coach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2273

You deserved it

1278

Tweet

Share

By qtpieo1 - United States

Today, I was at the pool with two boys I baby sit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41413

You deserved it

9704

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as "My other girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks

45610

You deserved it

4069

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was given a DUI while in the Whataburger drive thru. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12838

You deserved it

46140

Tweet

Share

By nothappywithlife - United States

Today, I checked my facebook, and my wife of 5 years was listed as single. I then write on her wall that it is ok to announce to be married. She writes back saying that we have to talk and to come to the kitchen. My wife divorced me over facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

259363

You deserved it

13047

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/4/2021 14:01

A tad unfair

Today, my parents have made it very clear to me that if I fail one more assignment, they’re disowning me. I got a zero on a paper that I poured my heart and soul into, and in the notes, the teacher wrote, “I don’t even need to read this paper to know that it is bad.” FML

I agree, your life sucks

1113

You deserved it

114

Tweet

Share

By UsuallyaUnicornbread - United States - Morrisville

Today, I went to get myself a latte to make myself feel better after having a bad day. As soon as I sat down to enjoy it, I spilled it all over myself, another customer, and the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30476

You deserved it

3297

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/3/2021 21:30

Horn section

Today, I matched with someone on a dating app. The first thing they said to me was, "What is the chance that you are the trombone player living below me and would you please stop playing after 9 p.m.?" I am that trombone player and due to Covid I have to practice a lot in my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

433

You deserved it

1281

Tweet

Share

By kallens - United States

Today, I was at Target with my mom. After 10 minutes of my mom walking around looking confused, I said, "Mom, what are you looking for? I worked at this place for 4 years, I know where everything is." My mom was looking for KY. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23726

You deserved it

2783

Tweet

Share

By Agathus - United Arab Emirates

Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37305

You deserved it

3296

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Unre4l | 0

#52242 - Monday 23 March 2009 12:26

Karma's a bitch...

By Sone_fml | 0

#52245 - Monday 23 March 2009 12:29

Haha you totally deserved that. I agree with #1

COMMENTS

By Unre4l | 0

#52242 - Monday 23 March 2009 12:26

Karma's a bitch...

Reply

ColonelCusswords | 24

#5999724 - Sunday 6 July 2014 18:25

especialy if you rubberneck

By Sone_fml | 0

#52245 - Monday 23 March 2009 12:29

Haha you totally deserved that. I agree with #1

By luxor21221 | 0

#52253 - Monday 23 March 2009 12:35

HAHAHA SUCKER

By RLJJ | 0

#52254 - Monday 23 March 2009 12:35

Did the cop write "+1" on his door ?

By karleigh | 0

#52271 - Monday 23 March 2009 12:53

Goodjob, asshole.

By valuemeal2 | 1

#52273 - Monday 23 March 2009 12:53

Karmic retribution FTW!

By Jimboom | 11

#52283 - Monday 23 March 2009 13:05

Ha ha!! Owned!
But you deserved that.

By kingnor | 0

#52294 - Monday 23 March 2009 13:13

No karma needed. Learn to drive.

By idrivefast | 0

#52305 - Monday 23 March 2009 13:26

That's why you need to pay attention to the road!
I swear, friends kill. Too busy talking to them to pay attention to where the bloody hell you're going

By troubledshampoo | 0

#52312 - Monday 23 March 2009 13:28

Totally deserved that one.