By scared2poop - 12/04/2016 02:30 - Australia - Brighton

Today, like many other days, I drove 15 minutes away from my girlfriend's house to poop at the local McDonald's, because I'm too scared of her roommates hearing my extreme noise terror. FML
I agree, your life sucks 17 303
You deserved it 3 740

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It has been said that the noises that OP makes while dropping brown bombs are loud enough to scare off a large pack of lions. I've never seen it happen before, but I heard that OP once saved someone about to be mauled by lions. Truly remarkable stuff.

But OP, what about the terror innocent McDonalders will be hearing? Or the walls? Walls have ears too you know! Keep that in mind, and happy pooping.

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I'd really like to know how much gas you spend on using the bathroom

Or how about the amount of gas he dispenses in the bathroom?

I can't belive the closest public bathroom is 15 whole minutes away, at a McDonald's of all places.

A lot of ppl live in rural areas

But OP, what about the terror innocent McDonalders will be hearing? Or the walls? Walls have ears too you know! Keep that in mind, and happy pooping.

Never let any relationship interfere with a good poop...

It has been said that the noises that OP makes while dropping brown bombs are loud enough to scare off a large pack of lions. I've never seen it happen before, but I heard that OP once saved someone about to be mauled by lions. Truly remarkable stuff.

That sounds about right for someone who describes their poop-sounds as their "extreme noise terror". That sounds like a metal band name.

#3 Pack of Lions? Seriously?

Is that strange? I heard the same phrase being used by that flock of giraffes over there.

Don't be afraid #32, I mean you no harm. Yes it's a pride of lions, I didn't use the correct term for a group of lions. However it does sound kind of odd, like a parliament of owls.

Even if her roommates did hear you its not exactly something they could tell her. "omg did you hear that, he's pooping again, girl you need to call it off." Yeah no, chill.

What happens when you can't make it that 15 minutes? You can get constipation holding it in.

Go to their rooms and poop there to show dominance.

Let's hope for your sake you never have bad diarrhea while at her place.

I'm sure the employees at that McD's are just thrilled about your concern for your girlfriend's roomies.

You're going to have to mark your territory there one day. Just get it over with and save some gas money

Girlfriend's roommates need to be taught a lesson by you destroying the bathroom and asserting your dominance.