By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, let's just say it's not a good sign when your plumber yells "What the fuck?!" That is, unless you actually like your kitchen being swamped by sewage. FML I agree, your life sucks 20970 You deserved it 1336 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By icandothecancan - United States - Duncan Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML I agree, your life sucks 46520 You deserved it 6108 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I woke up to my drunk mom trying to pee in the dresser drawer of our hotel, with my clothes in it. I woke up right in time to yell at her. Pants down and all. She started denying there were even clothes in there. FML I agree, your life sucks 1629 You deserved it 95 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thankshun13 - United Kingdom Today, my fiancé told me that the thought of having sex with a pregnant woman repulsed him. I'm pregnant. He's glad he got that off his chest FML I agree, your life sucks 30480 You deserved it 4193 176 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mark - United States Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML I agree, your life sucks 27978 You deserved it 4286 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By YoungSmileBones - United States - Lake Havasu City Today, I'm so broke that I'm thinking about using a glass of whiskey and a pair of pliers to pull out my broken wisdom teeth. FML I agree, your life sucks 13958 You deserved it 1310 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GodMemory_AbsentMind Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML I agree, your life sucks 3534 You deserved it 4942 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I had to pick up my drunk mom at bar. While we were driving home she thanked me over and over again and then said "thank god you have no life!" FML I agree, your life sucks 56624 You deserved it 4481 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, while volunteering at my local library, a guy who smelled like crap followed me around all day. Every time I would bend over to shelf a book, he would start grunting. Apparently, he's going to be at the library every day. FML I agree, your life sucks 1859 You deserved it 90 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Singed - United States Today, my dad woke me up by shaking me and saying "If you're not up in two minutes, I'm lighting a firecracker in your room." Thinking he wouldn't possibly set off a firecracker in the house, much less my room, I decided to call his bluff. My room still smells like gunpowder. FML I agree, your life sucks 22322 You deserved it 43511 160 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jlmbull - United States - Lansing Today, I had to wait thirty minutes after closing to check out a lady who was purchasing 20 different styles of curtains. I asked what she would be doing with them all, and she replied that she would be bringing 19 of them back tomorrow, as she didn't know which would match. FML I agree, your life sucks 27994 You deserved it 1850 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bb - United States - Hillsborough Today, after having tried for months to get a promotion at work, I finally had an interview for a higher position. Everything went great, and I was told I would get a call next week for my second interview. I went back to my desk, only to get an email stating they're canceling the position. FML I agree, your life sucks 22719 You deserved it 1589 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I finally decided to get a dog. I have always been wanting to get one ever since I was a child. I bought a $1,400 Golden Retriever. I went out for lunch a few hours later with a friend, so I left my dog in the backyard. I came back home to a broken fence and no dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 26786 You deserved it 64319 289 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Phoenix Today, I wanted to talk about marriage and our future with my boyfriend of over 10 years. My 30-year-old boyfriend responded by hiding under a blanket and pretending he couldn't hear me. FML I agree, your life sucks 3007 You deserved it 659 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By eric4 - United Kingdom - Cheltenham Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML I agree, your life sucks 48324 You deserved it 4341 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By girlsx2mom - United States Today, my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me because he doesn't want his mom "watching from heaven." FML I agree, your life sucks 37564 You deserved it 7840 157 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Edmonton Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 23835 You deserved it 2459 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hungry - United States - Waverly Today, my husband offered to do the weekly grocery shopping. Because he has never done the shopping before, I made him a list of what we needed and other optional foods to give him an idea of what to get. He came back with a week's worth of ramen noodles and 2 litres of soda. FML I agree, your life sucks 14919 You deserved it 2181 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By burned Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML I agree, your life sucks 31899 You deserved it 2374 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Canastota Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML I agree, your life sucks 58010 You deserved it 7571 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FuckThis - United Kingdom - Cardiff Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML I agree, your life sucks 31196 You deserved it 2509 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By noooooooo - United States - Laurinburg Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML I agree, your life sucks 44461 You deserved it 6199 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I held the door open for an old lady, before realizing she was a teacher taking 20-plus kids to lunch at local burger joint, all of whom got in front of me in the line to order. FML I agree, your life sucks 36245 You deserved it 5211 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lukev7 - Australia Today, was my first day at Military School. When our commander walked into the sleeping quarters, instructing us all to get up and stand at the foot of our beds. I had morning wood. To which the commander wasted no time in adressing in front of the rest of the room. FML I agree, your life sucks 45874 You deserved it 5558 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymousss95 - Sweden Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 51479 You deserved it 13340 244 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Israel Today, I was told by my neighbors that my guitar playing sounded a dying cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 11438 You deserved it 23406 208 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fml Today, a co-worker called in sick due to a family emergency. I ended up working an unplanned 12-hour overnight shift. After I clocked out, I dragged myself out to the parking lot to go home. Someone had smeared tacos all over my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 4360 You deserved it 198 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By asstomouth - France Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML I agree, your life sucks 31036 You deserved it 9607 148 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By a - United States Today, my husband and I announced our upcoming divorce. My friends told me how sorry they were and that they're available for whatever I need. His friends told him to just call the girl from last weekend and get himself laid again. FML I agree, your life sucks 54275 You deserved it 7004 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Cortland Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML I agree, your life sucks 40961 You deserved it 14007 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BillLumberg - United States Today, I released a noxious, unforgiving fart in my cubicle not thinking anything of it. You know, one of those sulfurous clouds you get the morning after a few good beers. Moments later, my manager walks in to talk about work. It's 7:30 in the morning, no one else is around. FML I agree, your life sucks 10560 You deserved it 24711 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Insomniac Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML I agree, your life sucks 1722 You deserved it 165 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lost_ina_dream - United States Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary at the park. I was watching him play around with the wood chips on the ground and thought I saw him making a heart being romantic, so I got on top of the playground to look. Turns out it was the balls of a giant penis, complete with pubes. FML I agree, your life sucks 21715 You deserved it 4088 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking, never washes her hands beforehand. According to her, it boosts her immune system. FML I agree, your life sucks 30476 You deserved it 4179 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SharpDressedMan - United States - Leesburg Today, I spent almost nine hours cleaning because I was promised I could go to junior prom if my room was cleaned. I missed a dust bunny and couldn't go. I had a date for this, who I'd had a crush on for over a year and barely managed to ask to go with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 3964 You deserved it 315 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By criley - United States - Los Angeles Today, an attractive guy approached me and struck up a conversation. He was friendly and sweet, and gave me his number. As I walked away, my first thought was that someone had played a cruel joke on me. I've had such awful relationships that I can't recognize when someone is actually being sincere. FML I agree, your life sucks 49626 You deserved it 6504 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Switzerland - Chur Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that'll kill my sex drive, just so she won't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML I agree, your life sucks 24210 You deserved it 2099 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RJB - United States Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I got so bored I made a "to do" list for the week. FML I agree, your life sucks 35933 You deserved it 12521 278 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I am sorry Today, I met a new guy at work who would not stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me he was her husband. FML I agree, your life sucks 3824 You deserved it 176 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ugh - United States - Tampa Today, my boyfriend came to my work, at a drive thru, in my car, and then got mad at me because I wouldn't give him free food. In his anger, he put my car in reverse and backed out of line very quickly, only to smash into a paying customer. FML I agree, your life sucks 29580 You deserved it 2805 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By itwasathtebottomofmycoffeemug - United States - Santa Cruz Today, I found out my son has a new hobby after seeing a picture on the internet: putting realistic-looking stickers of spiders at the bottom of my coffee mugs. My wife was scared half to death this morning after downing a cup of coffee and then glancing the cup's bottom. FML I agree, your life sucks 41251 You deserved it 4796 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tounces7 | 27 #6503639 - Thursday 7 January 2016 0:46 As a Plumber, I've run into this before, and I'm guessing you have a toilet line that's above your Kitchen line, and a blockage in the stack. Which means when someone flushes the toilet, it comes out the kitchen. It's not your plumbers fault, it just means an idiot designed the plumbing in your house and didn't follow plumbing code. Send a private message 131 1 Reply
By tintarroja | 31 #6503595 - Thursday 7 January 2016 0:04 Did he helped you to clean the shitty mess? Send a private message 80 8 Reply
By Tripartita | 44 #6503582 - Wednesday 6 January 2016 23:58 It doesn't matter what you do OP, they will NEVER love you the way you love them! Trust me… On an unrelated note, I'd advise you to look up the word "agalmatophilia". Send a private message 11 37 Reply
Reply Tripartita | 44 #6503585 - Wednesday 6 January 2016 23:59 Wrong FML, bud. Also, weird username. Send a private message 23 41 Reply
Reply GEFStryker | 28 #6503591 - Thursday 7 January 2016 0:01 Forgot to switch accounts, dumb ass. Send a private message 51 21 Reply
Reply FSGInsainity | 15 #6503598 - Thursday 7 January 2016 0:05 So, no other tubes will be plumbed? Send a private message 1 12 Reply
Reply shay_serendipity | 29 #6503734 - Thursday 7 January 2016 2:26 Well that was rude, #3. I thought that was an attempt at covering up and making fun of his own mistake, it was kinda funny to me.. Send a private message 33 10 Reply
Reply HonestPie | 10 #6503809 - Thursday 7 January 2016 4:49 Who shat in your soup, #3? Send a private message 11 3 Reply
Reply Soparot | 29 #6503847 - Thursday 7 January 2016 5:39 Hey, that's a great idea #3! How could you possibly come up with such a master plan?... that is, unless you do it yourself? Send a private message 3 1 Reply
Reply ShirtlessWonder | 17 #6503910 - Thursday 7 January 2016 8:53 Pretty sure #3 is also the same person. He's trying way too hard. Send a private message 0 5 Reply
Reply freddygasman | 18 #6503925 - Thursday 7 January 2016 9:40 honestpie, maybe op did. after all, there was plenty to go around. Send a private message 0 1 Reply
By tintarroja | 31 #6503595 - Thursday 7 January 2016 0:04 Did he helped you to clean the shitty mess? Send a private message 80 8 Reply
By FSGInsainity | 15 #6503596 - Thursday 7 January 2016 0:04 That stinks. Send a private message 1 12 Reply
By TheNewGuy03 | 28 #6503603 - Thursday 7 January 2016 0:07 This, my friend, is the absolute definition of an "Oh, shit" situation. Send a private message 9 9 Reply
By dramaelf | 37 #6503621 - Thursday 7 January 2016 0:27 Looks like you'll be going out to eat for a while... Send a private message 16 1 Reply
By andrmac | 25 #6503624 - Thursday 7 January 2016 0:30 Nothing like that nasty smell in the morning to get you up and ready to eat something. Send a private message 11 3 Reply
By Heyjai | 18 #6503636 - Thursday 7 January 2016 0:43 Hopefully your plumber has insurance to fix your shitstorm. Send a private message 3 7 Reply
By tounces7 | 27 #6503639 - Thursday 7 January 2016 0:46 As a Plumber, I've run into this before, and I'm guessing you have a toilet line that's above your Kitchen line, and a blockage in the stack. Which means when someone flushes the toilet, it comes out the kitchen. It's not your plumbers fault, it just means an idiot designed the plumbing in your house and didn't follow plumbing code. Send a private message 131 1 Reply
Reply mds9986 | 24 #6503917 - Thursday 7 January 2016 9:10 Thank you FML stranger, I learned to not buy a house with this kind of pluming later in life. Send a private message 10 0 Reply
Reply freddygasman | 18 #6503923 - Thursday 7 January 2016 9:36 mds9986 love the profile pic. It goes perfectly with this fml. Send a private message 6 1 Reply
By lexiieeex3 | 32 #6503641 - Thursday 7 January 2016 0:46 At least it's not on your bed like the last guy Send a private message 17 3 Reply
By The_ghetto_mango | 25 #6503648 - Thursday 7 January 2016 0:51 WHOA! I suspect doom in your future finances. On a completely unrelated note, did he forget to pull his pants up? Send a private message 0 8 Reply
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 689 You deserved it 224 5 Comments
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 528 You deserved it 219 4 Comments
Which means when someone flushes the toilet, it comes out the kitchen.
It's not your plumbers fault, it just means an idiot designed the plumbing in your house and didn't follow plumbing code.