By Targeted - 09/11/2012 04:54 - United States - Kirkland

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 666
You deserved it 2 788

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He's a damn good ninja then.

Of course the police can't find him; he's a ninja!


He's a damn good ninja then.

Exactly! A ninja will be found only if he wants to be, at least a good one. If my boyfriend woke up and saw that, he'd laugh his ass off because he loves ninjas. The question I have, what was the Original Poster being pointed at with? A gun? A sword? A stick? A pointer finger? I wish OP would have wrote which weapon was the ninja's choice.

Probably his dick.

If the OP is a girl, that would be a good morning surprise if she knew the ninja. Honestly, it sounds like a prank. And now the OP has an awesome ninja story to tell for the rest of his/her life.

AKGirlin, your comments are too long.

Can you read, 51, or does your brain hurt after 5 words?

51 was two letters short of spelling out my entire user name. Therefore, 65, I believe you are correct about 51.

What If you wake up, put your clothes on, and not look out the window? Just sayin..

Or, wake up super early, and go out ninja the ninja! Sneak on to the roof before he gets up there.

I think you should freak him out, open the window the next morning in a clown outfit. The next day open it up drenched in blood and a look of total surprise that someone saw you committing heinous acts of violence. Keep doing this till he no longer feels comfortable coming back lol

OP, what drugs are you on and can I have some?

desireev 17

"Did you see that?!" "What?!" "Exactly."

LOL, ninjas...he must have been secretly trained really well.

decidedlyvague 11

"Probably his dick." Has 69 likes. Sounds like a win to me.

Of course the police can't find him; he's a ninja!

How exactly does one go about explaining this to the police anyway? This doesn't seem easy to explain to a cop and be taken seriously.

Was he a lego ninja?

Operator, "9-1-1, please state your emergency." OP, "Yeah, um, there's a ninja on a roof next to me and is pointing something at me. Send help immediately; I'm scared for my life!" Operator, "Okay, we will send a police officer when one is available. I can't guarantee a time because this doesn't sound like an emergency." OP, "Fuck you! I said I'm scared for my life."...I'm guessing that's how the conversation took place, which sounds epic! haha

It's hard to find a ninja when they get out of the costume when they're done. Depending on how hard it is to get onto the neighbor's roof, the neighbor may be the only option. In which case it's someone OP knows, and probably shouldn't be worried about. Though, if OP is bothered enough, no ninja can run and hide with a sniper bullet lodged in their forehead.

Does anyone else think of the closet monkey from family guy?

I think it is the neighbor and if its been happening for a hole month he goes along with the police I'd assume they're investigating it by the way you have spoken. Perfect cover

Ninja might be too speedy to hit with a rifle!

It's creepy, yet slightly awesome at the same time. From an outside perspective of course

TorturedXeno 27

I'm totally sharing this one.

kristabelli 19

I have some serious concerns about OP's mental health.

Try shooting him with a air soft rifle

Dress like a ninja and point back.

Care to explain, Noor?

Trisha_aus 15

Noor has a brother?

Trisha_aus 15

And that professor kitten picture goes well with the comment

Noor is annoying

82- if u dont like noor (or dont show tits) GTFO.

Who shows tits on fml?

84- I suggest you do the same with that brown shit stain on your nose.

That's why it made it to FML ...

You mean fucking awesome!

Awesome...until you die a horrible death!!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but this is the time where you leave home and never, ever, return.

He's a ninja. Resistance is futile.

Leaving would be pointless. He would just follow her everywhere she went. And she wouldn't know, since he's a ninja. Except, of course, when he WANTS her to know he's there!

You have you're own ninja?! That is NOT an FML!

zingline89 18

I know pot is now legal where you live but you still need to make sure it's not laced with halucinogens

Sounds like a good idea. I know BC crime will be taking a hit from this legalization in Washington.

They're never gonna find em. He's a ninja.

catharsis5 9

That is so awesome