By Anonymous - United States
Today, it was my first day at work as a cashier. I was so nervous that my whole body got numb and my eye sight completely blurred. I ran to the bathroom blind while bumping into everything in the store, making sure that everyone knew I had a problem. FML
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  I_iz_B_a_troll  |  23

I hired an egg once too. It didn't end well, but it was over easy enough! Humpty Dumpty was his name! So Humpty Dumpty, bit too much shell and not enough yolk, gets this bright idea to ditch work and sit on a frikkin wall! What a fun guy, right?! Well now Humpty, in the midst of all this inane wall-sitting, gets hit by an alien frisbee, and loses his balance! Unfortunately for him, this terrible accident causes him to fall tumbling to the ground, scrambled instantly. Well I, like a boss, a good boss, fetch him a fucking king, with a bunch of horses and men and stuff! Ungrateful bastard that Humpty is, he wouldn't even be put back together again! Moral of the story: don't waste your time with eggs in the workforce! Once they crack, you're screwed. Tasty though...

By  Jimboom  |  11

Ohh don't you worry. I think everyone knows you have some serious problems now. Get your head straight and try again, otherwise you are going to have a tough time joining the work force. Alternatively you could always claim this as a disability and go on benefits. Stupid is a disability right?