Today, it was laundry day. After my fifth and final load, I noticed... - FML

By Anonymous - 13/11/2011 21:47 - United States

Today, it was laundry day. After my fifth and final load, I noticed I never added any laundry detergent. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21104

You deserved it

24436

Tweet

Share

Boozehound

White line fever

Hello everyone!

By oops - 18/5/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53381

You deserved it

10788

Tweet

Share

By lsta - 4/5/2009 04:40 - United States

Today, I donated blood for the first time, and all the nurses kept complimenting on how good my veins were. That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in the past 2 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55905

You deserved it

4405

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/1/2013 05:39 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32754

You deserved it

6243

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/5/2009 05:17 - United States

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56830

You deserved it

8648

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/3/2013 02:15 - Australia - Picton

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

38875

You deserved it

5828

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 3/1/2015 21:16 - United States - Newark

Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33959

You deserved it

2261

Tweet

Share

By unknown - 7/4/2013 17:01 - Canada - Quebec

Today, my sister was faced with the choice of getting a burger, or picking me up in a snowstorm. The burger won, and I had to travel 4km home by foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37882

You deserved it

2867

Tweet

Share

By Oh no - 13/10/2018 03:00

Today, I went searching for my old school laptop only to find that my stepdad had swiped it and given it to his mother. My sex tapes and nudes are on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2618

You deserved it

1906

Tweet

Share

By oliver - 27/1/2016 12:02 - United States

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22380

You deserved it

2225

Tweet

Share

By MadMax - 16/7/2009 14:59 - United States

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

I agree, your life sucks

42332

You deserved it

5321

Tweet

Share

By abusedparrot - 24/8/2014 12:40 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43095

You deserved it

6094

Tweet

Share

By legotron - 30/10/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42619

You deserved it

2538

Tweet

Share

By horribledriver - 1/12/2009 22:48 - United States

Today, I was driving down a highway during rush-hour. I heard my phone ring and couldn't find it. I bent down to feel around for it and got in an accident and totaled my car. The ringing? A commercial on the radio. Where was my phone? On my dresser at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10909

You deserved it

71385

Tweet

Share

By workaholic - 17/11/2010 07:34

Today, I was talking to my manager about a movie. She asked what main actors were in it, but the only one I could remember was Forest Whitaker. I told her then immediately blurted out "You know, the one with the freaky lazy eye." My manager has a lazy eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9250

You deserved it

33119

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/8/2019 19:00 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, going to my psychiatrist's appointment for my PTSD and depression, my mother yelled about how useless I am and how I torture her existence with my "abnormalities." She told the doctor how much I've improved and become such a delight at home for her and our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1973

You deserved it

99

Tweet

Share

By Mr Hawks - 19/12/2008 05:17 - France

Today, I decided to put my computer on slideshow mode. Did you know that hidden files are also read when you put slideshow on? I discovered this, as did my entire family, when my naked girlfriend appeared on the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23541

You deserved it

14239

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 05:39 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I accidentally texted my mother instead of my drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18763

You deserved it

54427

Tweet

Share

By amber - 19/4/2012 18:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30608

You deserved it

4741

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/9/2015 20:14 - Germany

Today, I brutally stabbed a guy to death for smiling at me, then puked and fainted. Then I woke up in bed, panicking, sweating like a pig and crying because I thought my dream was real and I was going to go to prison. I'm never taking sleeping medication again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26313

You deserved it

2446

Tweet

Share

By Luisa - 9/1/2020 01:00

Lunch Special

Today, we have nearly no food in the house. My husband went shopping with the kids and returned with a sack of tomatoes. Time to make lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1931

You deserved it

215

Tweet

Share

By Jobless - 13/8/2009 01:47 - United States

Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44842

You deserved it

4318

Tweet

Share

By English_Nut117 - 30/10/2013 19:17 - Canada - Georgetown

Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48507

You deserved it

15096

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 7/10/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, in the middle of class, I sneezed out the biggest, wettest booger I have ever seen in my life. I'd used the inside of my elbow to cover my nose, but I neglected to notice that my hair had fallen over my shoulder. I couldn't get it all out of my hair and I don't think any believed me when I said it was hair gel. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28057

You deserved it

5929

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/1/2012 20:38 - United States

Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had to slowly dry myself off with a ShamWow sample I received in the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33152

You deserved it

4638

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/2/2011 00:09 - Denmark

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32975

You deserved it

2765

Tweet

Share

By dogsickftl - 31/10/2009 19:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I left my hammer outside after putting up my 'for sale' sign in front of my house. I realised and went outside to get it. The hammer had been used to smash my car window and steal stuff inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32444

You deserved it

6996

Tweet

Share

By Greg - 28/10/2013 21:53 - United States - Livonia

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49078

You deserved it

3265

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/6/2016 14:14 - United States - Coldwater

Today, I am one year away from getting a university degree. Unfortunately, my parents just kicked me out because I wouldn't drop out and work for free at our family's gas station. I'm now broke, homeless and have no way to pay for school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15152

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1356

Tweet

Share

By ringmaster101 - 4/3/2009 23:42 - United States

Today, I went to the jewelry store to sell my wedding ring after a long and painful divorce. The shop owner took one look at it and called the cops because I tried to sell him a diamond ring that had been stolen from him 3 years ago. My ex-husband left the country a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

76797

You deserved it

3347

Tweet

Share

By irishbubble - 4/6/2013 12:35 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

83926

You deserved it

4091

Tweet

Share

By arrrrggggghhhh - 4/3/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

77917

You deserved it

5150

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 18:18 - Ireland - Kilkenny

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45927

You deserved it

5575

Tweet

Share

By t.hughes - 1/4/2013 14:50 - United States

Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML

I agree, your life sucks

51506

You deserved it

3666

Tweet

Share

By facepalm - 22/7/2013 20:19 - United States

Today, my dad's conspiracy theory obsession hit a new level of stupidity when he blurted "false flag" because our toaster stopped working. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36142

You deserved it

3102

Tweet

Share

By theapplesleader - 23/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Washington

Yucky!

Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1481

You deserved it

3523

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/11/2015 08:23 - Maldives - Male

Today, at a family dinner, my mom announced that my newborn brother was named after his father. His name is Kevin. My dad's name is Michael. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27460

You deserved it

1702

Tweet

Share

By Walker - 4/11/2009 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents, who are divorced, were arguing over who has to pay for my bus pass. They decided they wouldn't pay unless the other one did too. Neither will pay the £60 it'll cost for my bus pass. I now have to walk to school every day, in freezing winter weather. It's 9 miles. Each way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48241

You deserved it

4081

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 3/4/2012 02:07 - United States - Lincolnton

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36614

You deserved it

3858

Tweet

Share

By Sheggie - 30/1/2010 05:06 - Australia

Today, I found a wallet belonging to some guy, it had $355 inside. Because he had his address written inside, I decided to return it hoping for a reward. I drove for 40 mins and finally got to his house during peak hour. All he did was say "oh cool". FML

I agree, your life sucks

33520

You deserved it

14926

Tweet

Share

By Jenna - 3/7/2012 23:20 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13676

You deserved it

38632

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By flockz | 19

#3581921 - Monday 14 November 2011 1:14

it's ok you don't need detergant. i'm sure the smell of water will make them smell fine.

By shortstuff9519 | 0

#3581856 - Monday 14 November 2011 1:09

At least they got wet?

Comments

By shortstuff9519 | 0

#3581856 - Monday 14 November 2011 1:09

At least they got wet?

Reply

Olovio | 5

#3581929 - Monday 14 November 2011 1:14

That's what she said.

Reply

shortstuff9519 | 0

#3581940 - Monday 14 November 2011 1:15

Ohhhh yeah

Reply

leadman1989 | 15

#3582098 - Monday 14 November 2011 1:29

4 You gonna give us a little donkey show? :D

Reply

grmnxsensati0n | 4

#3582402 - Monday 14 November 2011 2:22

like like like like like

Reply

Shy_Anne | 10

#3582410 - Monday 14 November 2011 2:23

I want to laugh... but I've actually done this before :(

Reply

theguy33 | 1

#3583069 - Monday 14 November 2011 5:32

Five loads in one day not bad.

Reply

nava1210 | 12

#3583235 - Monday 14 November 2011 6:11

Five hoes in one day not bad.

Reply

bjr1208 | 3

#3583353 - Monday 14 November 2011 6:34

I'm sick of this bakery store shit!

Reply

Choose_Wisely | 5

#3583387 - Monday 14 November 2011 6:48

reading this fml on laundry day REALLY makes me say yeah, fyl

By evilplatypus | 38

#3581863 - Monday 14 November 2011 1:10

First world problems...

Reply

grmnxsensati0n | 4

#3582394 - Monday 14 November 2011 2:20

dumbass

By flockz | 19

#3581921 - Monday 14 November 2011 1:14

it's ok you don't need detergant. i'm sure the smell of water will make them smell fine.

Reply

robincakes94 | 8

#3582194 - Monday 14 November 2011 1:43

I think Dryer sheets would be a better alternative, but water is also a good scent...

Reply

tarabelle | 7

#3582292 - Monday 14 November 2011 2:01

Water doesn't have a smell.

Reply

robincakes94 | 8

#3582327 - Monday 14 November 2011 2:08

I'm not smell deficient, I know that! I was commenting on flockz sarcasm with sarcasm... Ugh for now on I'll label all of my sarcasm. :)

Reply

tarabelle | 7

#3582352 - Monday 14 November 2011 2:12

Haha sorry! I wasn't sure. I showed this to my little sister, and she said "Lindsey, you're stupid. Water has a smell. It smells like..ummm...I don't know actually. It doesn't smell like anything but it has a smell."

Yup. There's a 9 year old for ya(:

By Rainbow_dumpster | 27

#3581930 - Monday 14 November 2011 1:14

FYL!

Next time, Put detergent BEFORE you add your load into the washer.

Reply

clw1740 | 0

#3582749 - Monday 14 November 2011 4:11

No shit.

Reply

CowOven | 7

#3582774 - Monday 14 November 2011 4:23

Wouldn't that be a YDI?

Reply

frankboy | 0

#3583827 - Monday 14 November 2011 9:39

Well i'll be.. Thanks boss. So helpful

Reply

Alexis2742 | 31

#6486163 - Wednesday 16 December 2015 5:13

Lol duh ...?

By jmk1469 | 5

#3581937 - Monday 14 November 2011 1:15

psh. who needs detergent?

Reply

TheCarChanel | 0

#3582259 - Monday 14 November 2011 1:55

What's detergent do?

Reply

KiddNYC1O | 20

#3582266 - Monday 14 November 2011 1:57

Penetrates and removes stains with added fragrance. -Mr. Clean.

Reply

AshleighNason | 24

#3582365 - Monday 14 November 2011 2:16

ew

Reply

KiddNYC1O | 20

#3582406 - Monday 14 November 2011 2:22

34- What's so revolting in this thread?

Reply

eviIpotato | 0

#3583178 - Monday 14 November 2011 6:00

GER THE FUCKING FUCK OFF MY SCREEN BAKERY STORY!!!!!!!
Sorry for my outburst, but it pisses me off!

OP I can understand 1 or 2, but 5? Really?

Reply

livlafluv100 | 2

#3583228 - Monday 14 November 2011 6:10

Whoa guys. We're dealin with a badass over here.

Reply

KiddNYC1O | 20

#3583284 - Monday 14 November 2011 6:20

71- Yes! What's up with the new whole-screen-ad shit? It sucks balls...

By haw008 | 14

#3581947 - Monday 14 November 2011 1:15

And you noticed this after the fifth load? Way to go.

By leadman1989 | 15

#3581982 - Monday 14 November 2011 1:17

It's ok as long as there weren't any cats involved.

By Strafeh | 9

#3581984 - Monday 14 November 2011 1:18

Tide - 1
oP - 0

Reply

ThreeSheetsGone | 12

#3582160 - Monday 14 November 2011 1:37

OP's water company-1
OP-0

Reply

Strafeh | 9

#3582504 - Monday 14 November 2011 2:55

Overused Joke - 2
Strafeh - -1

Reply

TheClumsiest | 0

#3582847 - Monday 14 November 2011 4:43

Lays- 0
Doritos- 1

Reply

flockz | 19

#3582960 - Monday 14 November 2011 5:11

sex-0
hand-1

Reply

False_Stupidity | 41

#3583010 - Monday 14 November 2011 5:25

Chocolate - 1
Pizza - 0

Reply

nolarboot | 10

#3583310 - Monday 14 November 2011 6:24

Power level - >9000
Argument - (not valid)

Reply

dumboears | 8

#3583449 - Monday 14 November 2011 7:15

Combo: 0
Breaker: 1
...wait a minute.

Reply

slushpup9696 | 12

#3583948 - Monday 14 November 2011 10:24

object 1: 1
object 2: 0

By crazyrunnergirl | 7

#3581991 - Monday 14 November 2011 1:18

I think it's safe to say you'll live

By salsa324 | 0

#3581995 - Monday 14 November 2011 1:19

Haha SUCKS FOR YOU!!!

Reply

salsa324 | 0

#3582729 - Monday 14 November 2011 4:02

Oh come on just a joke.

Reply

salsa324 | 0

#3583555 - Monday 14 November 2011 7:59

Aw now I have 2 thumbs up what happen to the 3rd one?