Animals: Today, it's my birthday. So far I have received: the news that...

By sambo99 - 25/10/2010 17:08 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 614

You deserved it 3 281

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Same thing different taste

By birthdayfun - 23/03/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153 382

You deserved it 8 192

By Anonymous - 03/03/2011 14:21 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My parents, whom I live with, told me that they did not get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 131

You deserved it 8 324

By garfwebba - 03/01/2010 01:17 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 475

You deserved it 6 618

Cat vs. pancakes

By demix_fml - 06/10/2019 02:01

Today, it's my birthday, I knew I would be on my own, so I brought some pancakes, only to come down and find that not only had my cat eaten them, but also that I’d have to clean his barf up. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 541

You deserved it 253

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 025

You deserved it 590

By Anonymous - 10/07/2015 22:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 644

You deserved it 2 792

It's called caring, OK?

By gan-1991 - 15/06/2020 23:01

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to the sound of my cat puking up a hairball. This is the second year in a row he has done this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 232

You deserved it 263

Food for thought

By Heather Scurfield - 17/09/2021 01:00 - United Kingdom - Witney

Today, it's my birthday. Since I knew I would be spending it alone, I treated myself to a full cooked Scottish Breakfast. Just as I was plating up, I got carried away and my black pudding slipped out of my tongs and directly into my cat's litter tray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 215

By same - 21/11/2015 06:39 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 790

You deserved it 6 876

By Meowit - 07/09/2014 03:06 - United States - Livonia

Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 648

You deserved it 3 205

FFML_314 11

Monday 25 October 2010 23:04

It's obvious that the day of your birth has driven them to the point of sheer misery, you don't know how to take care of your pets, you're sticking your face in places it doesn't belong and your boyfriend is secretly a homosexual. FYL indeed.

004savage 0

Monday 25 October 2010 23:03

atleast things can only get better right?

Comments

j_roger 0

Monday 25 October 2010 23:14

at lest your boyfriend got you something i know it dosent mean much from some person you dont know but happy birth day

anti_average 5

Monday 25 October 2010 23:19

So who gave her the rash?! D:

bigbadtim 7

Monday 25 October 2010 23:46

Her boyfriend, duh.

Doortje 29

Monday 25 October 2010 23:27

That sucks :( But maybe FML can make your birthday awesome? By singing you a birthday song :D Let's complete it ^^ "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUU

Selena_is_back 7

Monday 25 October 2010 23:31

sing "Misery" from Maroon 5!!!

DocBastard 38

Monday 25 October 2010 23:35

Happy ******* birthday, you whiny bitch.

bigbadtim 7

Monday 25 October 2010 23:48

I'm sure your heartfelt birthday wishes made her feel better.

jwbbabe 9

Tuesday 26 October 2010 3:21

30- wiin(:

fadingaway 17

Monday 25 October 2010 23:36

At least you got slippers. Slippers are cool.

uhhh_awkward 0

Monday 25 October 2010 23:37

That's awful. :( No one deserves that on their birthday. Take a nice hot bubble bath, treat yourself to some ice cream, and make the rest of your day fun on your own!! Happy birthday!

green_eyes124 0

Monday 25 October 2010 23:44

I'd feel bad for you, op, but I know people that don't get anything on their birthday. An I have a friend that is Jehovah's Witness and can't celebrate or acknowledge her birthday at all. Now that sucks, imo. Anyway, happy birthday op! : )