Miscellaneous: Today, it's got to the point where my parents have to force me... - FML

By TheDarth - 16/07/2015 22:47 - United States - Bedford

Today, it's got to the point where my parents have to force me to plan social outings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 799

You deserved it 5 592

Compromises

You tried

Empathy lives

By 1danzo1 - 17/07/2009 10:12 - Australia

Today, I was getting a haircut. I had my foils in for about 10 minutes when the fire alarm went off. The building then started to fill with smoke and we evacuated. While outside watching the fire being put out, I forgot about my foils. I now have bright bleached yellow and orange hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 711

You deserved it 6 079

Quite the catch

By Anonymous - 29/06/2020 05:05

Spicy

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me with more guys than I can count on one hand. I'm not sure what's worse, realizing this only after she's moved in, realizing two of the guys were my close friends, or realizing I'd given up my dream career for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 756

You deserved it 275

By Grinch - 24/12/2016 12:08

Today, it's Xmas Eve, and my partner's quick afternoon catch-up with his friends has turned into 5 messy drunks in our house at 1am. So it's no to the "us" time evening we had planned before spending tomorrow with our families who live over 3 hours away. Guess who had promised to drive and now can't? FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 310

You deserved it 703

By Quincy_Ethan - 29/08/2014 21:22 - United States - Killeen

Today, my little sister was using my phone to play games. About an hour later, she came to me and said my phone wouldn't work. Turns out my phone had gotten hot and she put it in water to cool it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 140

You deserved it 5 324

By Anonymous - 18/09/2015 21:14 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 439

You deserved it 1 966

Leave me out of it

By Marissa Di Stefano - 05/01/2021 17:01

Today, my sister and mom were arguing. My sister was being really nasty to my mom, and decided to get nasty with me and drag me into the argument. Naturally, I got nasty back at her and we started fighting. My mom yelled at me for getting nasty with my sister, and kicked me out of the house for “being too nasty.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 174

By Secret Isis supporter - 19/11/2015 00:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boss asked me if I'd realized that "I support ISIS" was written on the bottom of my water bottle. The bottle was a gift from my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 998

You deserved it 1 958

Hypocrisy

By AfraidOfToxicity - 21/07/2020 02:02

Today, I had a friend quit every friend group we shared, all because I refused to show him favouritism in my D&D campaign, after I changed the rules to reduce favouritism between everyone, because he'd complained. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 149

By eslteacher - 13/05/2009 04:39 - Korea Republic of

Today, while teaching English in Korea, my boss gave me a birthday present from her and all of my co-workers. It was a really fancy box. It had very nice wrapping. It had a pretty bow. It was kind of heavy. It was 6 bottles of dandruff shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 831

You deserved it 8 549

By Anonymos_fmler - 21/10/2014 00:38 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 849

You deserved it 5 279

By sick of life - 23/09/2011 14:48 - United States

Today, I called in sick to work for a second day. After months of my boss trying to get me sacked by spreading vicious rumors about me, taunting me into retaliating, and generally making my life a living hell, he finally got his chance. He sent me a text saying, "yeh dont bother son ure fuckin fired." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 656

You deserved it 3 614

By the bad artist - 10/09/2012 00:12 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was talking to an art critic at an exhibition. He told me that the artist had no talent and went on to tell me everything wrong with each painting. I'd painted them all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 312

You deserved it 2 598

By darknight - 21/07/2019 02:03

Today, I found out that pretending to be a bum begging for money can get you stuck in a jail cell for a few hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 3 770

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 06:00

Today, I had to get my picture taken for a volunteer badge at the hospital. My sister came home and told my parents that she had a horrible day at work. They showed her my picture to cheer her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 715

You deserved it 141

Panic

By Danger Dave - 21/12/2020 04:58

Today, it's been almost 24 hours since my wife bent down and couldn't get back up. After laying in bed all day in agony with a bad back, an ambulance was called. She still currently can't stand in the hospital. I have two kids to look after and am supposed to be in work tomorrow. I have no idea what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 399

By poorhamster - 23/10/2010 06:22 - United States

Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 008

You deserved it 3 904

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Spicy

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 963

You deserved it 3 326

By sozzy - 07/07/2012 07:26 - United States - Aliso Viejo

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 441

You deserved it 6 980

By Widowmaker - 09/08/2010 04:03 - France

Today, I told my father I registered for the Marines, and that I'm leaving for bootcamp next week. He asked if this means that he doesn't have to pay child support anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 334

You deserved it 3 495

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 969

You deserved it 3 151

By rbeast - 21/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 621

You deserved it 4 143

By sad_dad - 24/10/2009 17:35 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 957

You deserved it 10 217

A for Effort

By Anonymous - 07/01/2021 20:01 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I thought I would spice things up a bit and rocked my man's world, but in the kitchen. Apparently, some of his cum must have got on the tiles because I slipped on it 15 minutes later. In doing so I smacked my head on the fridge.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 624

Back to public transport

By Dante - 30/11/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I got the repair estimate for my car. It's going to cost me $3,000 to rebuild the front end. It was wrecked because a couple decided to have a lovers' spat in the middle of the freeway. I had that car for exactly four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 008

You deserved it 2 668

By Anonymous - 26/06/2011 20:25 - United States

Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 537

You deserved it 51 772

By Anonymous - 10/09/2011 02:19 - Reserved

Today, after several long years, a lot of debt, and two great degrees from a top university, I had to move back in with my parents, because no matter where I look, I can't find a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 743

You deserved it 4 053

By funfettifirework - 18/08/2016 05:08 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, I almost got our office burned down by plugging the wrong charger into a laptop cooling fan. Tried to hide the incident and kept it casual but the smoke detector led it to my area and everyone knew I was the culprit. I'm a new hire too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 260

You deserved it 3 914

I don't need a Xanny to feel better

By Paprika - 12/05/2021 04:01

Today, my psychiatrist prescribed Xanax. I thought that was a little extreme and that my anxiety wasn't bad enough for that. Within the next hour, I had 2 panic attacks. I guess I'm worse off than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 103

Whistleblower

By Anonymous - 25/05/2017 04:00

Today, my boss held a meeting to talk about how we can't overlook others and no one should pick favorites. I walked out unemployed when I pointed out that she completely ignored the person who made the biggest sale in company history and constantly gave her son raises for mediocre work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 742

You deserved it 977

By Eric John Los - 29/01/2018 13:00 - United States - Haydenville

Today, I wore a coat that was too tight. The button gave way and quickly flew about ten feet to hit my very attractive new coworker right in the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 801

You deserved it 944

Late bloomer

By Anonymous - 25/03/2021 05:01

Today, I'm nearly 30 years-old, and not only am I still a virgin, I've never even had my first kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 133

By Shitty Boss Shitty Job - 15/06/2013 05:41 - United States - Davenport

Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 931

You deserved it 6 546

Scooby snacks?

By DogStew - 12/09/2019 18:00

Today, I had to watch my niece’s puppy. The darn dog kept finding turds in the yard and eating them. One turd had worms in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 299

You deserved it 230

Vibrate mode

By ChiefKoala - 27/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Rockwood

Today, my stomach growled so loudly in class that my professor told us to make sure our phones were silenced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 830

You deserved it 202

By ihatepokemon - 22/07/2013 22:14 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got angry because I laughed when he asked me if he should retire from being a Pokemon Trainer. He was serious. He's also 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 731

You deserved it 11 788

By kai - 27/01/2009 01:32 - United States

Today, the only guy who I ever thought liked me for my personality said he had something important to tell me. Later I got an e-mail from him saying he is "worried about me because I lack the skills to get along with other people." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 721

You deserved it 3 191

By sleekRelease - 11/06/2019 04:00

Today, I was expecting an important delivery for a party I'm having tonight. I was in the shower when the doorbell rang. In my haste, I slipped and ended up with a bunch of little cuts and bruises. Turns out, it was someone trying to leave a note saying it would be delivered tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 672

You deserved it 162

By Anonymous - 20/07/2013 21:31 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 514

You deserved it 3 958

By unlucky - 08/10/2012 16:39 - United States - Alpena

Today, I'm going to be helping the love of my life pick out an engagement ring for my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 276

You deserved it 4 106

Mystery woman

By Anonymous - 15/02/2021 07:58

Today, my husband of 4 years is tagged in a #ValentinesDayChallenge post on Facebook. No, I didn’t tag him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 85

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Send a private message

Friday 17 July 2015 10:59

Who needs to be social when there's Netflix and food

Dreamsorrow93 24

Send a private message

Friday 17 July 2015 10:59

My parents use to yell at me to leave the house, so I stayed out so late so many times in a row, they now tell me to stay home. McDonald's free wifi and free refills wasn't so bad.

Comments

Send a private message

Friday 17 July 2015 10:50

I have been there as well. Now I barely have time between social meetings and work for myself. It gets better, don't worry :)

Send a private message

Friday 17 July 2015 16:46

Yeah, my mom encourages me to host parties...

TheOrangeOfLife 7

Send a private message

Friday 17 July 2015 10:59

Well, that sucks. I don't know what else to say, so I'm just going to leave now.

Send a private message

Friday 17 July 2015 10:59

Who needs to be social when there's Netflix and food

Send a private message

Friday 17 July 2015 12:36

This..

Send a private message

Friday 17 July 2015 13:17

This is a philosophy to live by. I agree.

Send a private message

Friday 17 July 2015 16:08

Why have Netflix and food when you can have Netflix and chill?

Send a private message

Friday 17 July 2015 16:48

Don't forget alcohol.

leogachi 15

Friday 17 July 2015 17:34

Netflix and food is better.

Send a private message

Saturday 18 July 2015 3:20

But Netflix and weed is the best

Dreamsorrow93 24

Send a private message

Friday 17 July 2015 10:59

My parents use to yell at me to leave the house, so I stayed out so late so many times in a row, they now tell me to stay home. McDonald's free wifi and free refills wasn't so bad.

Kielnmsoftly 26

Send a private message

Friday 17 July 2015 23:20

But how well will it run my por-research project.....I meant research project.....

Send a private message

Friday 17 July 2015 11:00

They won't be there forever. Fix the problem now while they are.

Lalala579121 27

Send a private message

Saturday 18 July 2015 3:44

It's not about social outings with OP's parents, else they would be the ones planning them.

Send a private message

Saturday 18 July 2015 6:55

What on earth are you on about? Where did she or I mention social outings with the parents? While you have support is a much better time to fix a problem than when its gone and you don't have support. Much harder to do it all on your own. If she waits too long, that's where she'll be. Words. Sometimes, what they say is what they mean.

Lalala579121 27

Send a private message

Saturday 18 July 2015 7:22

Sorry, I guess I misinterpreted what you wrote. Still though, OP may not necessarily have a problem. They may just be too busy with work or whatever else and when they get home they just don't feel like doing anything. Also, if there is an actual problem, outside of just being lazy, OP's parents may not know about it and just want to get OP out of the house. I know from experience how difficult it is to talk about those kind of things, even with family. In that case the best thing to do would be to get some sort of professional help, not being forcibly put into situations that make you uncomfortable.

Send a private message

Friday 17 July 2015 11:01

When will they understand how awkward and uncomfortable it is to be around other human beings. Netflix doesn't judge, why should our parents?

MrSassypants 32

Send a private message

Friday 17 July 2015 11:40

Netflix does judge. Have you ever been binge watching on Netflix before? Netflix is like "you still here? Damn, you lonely."

leogachi 15

Friday 17 July 2015 17:48

You need to get used to being around other people. Someday you'll need to find a job and you'll have to be around people all the time.

marleeehpark 16

Send a private message

Friday 17 July 2015 11:03

Just stay out so much for a while that they'll miss you and will WANT you to be back home. Then you can use that as an excuse to be home all the time.

Send a private message

Friday 17 July 2015 11:05

I used to be like this, if not for my gf at the time I'd never leave the house. Once I started working though it made me a little less shy.

Send a private message

Friday 17 July 2015 11:29

Well msybe they have "other" plans that involve them being alone in the house.

Send a private message

Saturday 18 July 2015 0:59

Aww stop it you naughty individual

Send a private message

Friday 17 July 2015 11:46

In high school, I stayed in so much that my parents had to pay me to go to the movies for a few hours so they could have "alone time". Get them to pay for socializing, you'd make some nice cash.

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 9

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 10

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 166

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 93