By Anonymous - 28/09/2012 21:22 - Canada

Spicy
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 963
You deserved it 50 499

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

I swear to the Mighty FML Deity, everyone who says "Dump him" gets my foot up their asses. What he did is called "communication" and it's vital to a relationship, especially when it comes to sex. I applaud him for actually having the balls to tell you. How else are you going to learn to stop acting like a corpse during sex?

So try a new position. Cowgirl should do the trick.

Comments

So try a new position. Cowgirl should do the trick.

I totally agree

Dooo it! The girls that just lay there are no fun

Just laying there makes him feel like you're uninterested. If it were the opposite, wouldnt you get pretty insecure about your performance? Get involved, spice it up. Move! It's incredibly sexy to be with someone who is so getting pleasure--and actually acting like it.

Or maybe even the doggy-style, because I highly doubt corpses can be on all fours.

I get bored with one position too. Girls gotta take control of the reins sometime!

Pile-driver would do the trick too or the butterfly position would spice it up even more

Wow OP, can't blame him. Roll your hips, climb on top, do cowgirl, when he hit it doggy style - throw that ass back, give him some head. Do something. You lame for just laying there.

Try moving your hips at least op. if you feel that you can't move your hips, take salsa or merengue lessons. Learn to move those hips, or just change positions.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

If my boyfriend is on top and I move my hips, he tells me to stop because it messes up his "rhythm"

Your boyfriend is a jackass 172.

If you lay there like a fucking course, he's going to think you are. Get into the fucking moment, you dumb, impersonal bitch!

Bounce on him

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

This isn't reddit.

You realize it doesnt stay like that right...

Ha 21 dislikes. Wait... 22... 23... 24...

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

I have a thing for punctuation. When my boyfriend and I are making sweet love by candlelight, he'll whisper in my ear, "The only thing I like better than having sex with you, is correcting comma use on the internet." I reply, "Very few people know how to properly use a semicolon; I know you know how." After some more of this talk, we both orgasm instantly. True story.

You, are a serious nerd, and I like that.

If #74 is 16 and regaling up with stories of sex... Is this a form of child pornography?

Wow, so no one got the joke, huh?

74, I'd totally do you. Whilst using correct grammar, of course.

tell him he sucks because he does nothing to you that would make you do more than just lay there

You have obviously never had sex.

And uve obviously never been a girl.. If the guy doesn't know how to work it right it's very easy just to lie there cuz its actually very boring.. Like a seesaw how long can u stay on that thing w out get bored lol

23- I agree with you on that one

23/25- If the guy isn't doing things just right, why not help him out a little bit? Women are generally harder to stimulate than men, and some guys need a little guidance. Of course it's going to be boring if you just lay there with sky-high expectations but no motivation to help the poor guy out. Now I'm not saying every guy will be a stud after your valiant attempts, but sheesh, at least try.

There are lots of women out there that assume that they can just lay there and do jack shit and that they are still just "amazing" but all you can do as the guy is try to get them more into it and actively involved and kinky etc. If she insists on sitting there like a coma patient,like some do, the guy will eventually get bored. It's not all just the man's job to make sex exciting

Not saying there aren't some guys out there who think goin all "jackhammer" makes them a sex god from too many pornos but there are too many girls who think their job is done by being a girl and dressing pretty

#45- I completely agree with you! I've been with a girl who just lied there and it got boring quick. After trying to get her to do something like a new position where she would be doing something she told me she wasn't really into that... then it got frustrating... My point? Don't just lay there, or it'll get boring for the both of you. Sure it's okay to just sit back and just focus on enjoying the pleasure, but make sure your partner also has fun and pleasure!

Even if you don't wanna try a new position... make sure he has fun; you can play a game of I-spy whilst you have sex... that's always fun. Or you could just snore to piss him off.lol

6-I got the reference in your bio

Can't really blame him. You're making him do all the work, and it probably seems like you're not enjoying yourself. Climb on top next time and actually MOVE. Should work out a lot better for you.

Yea it is impulsive. so then maybe again it's his fault for not turning her on enough to get there.. Could be both their faults then and not just OPs...

5: kyleekay, nice to see ya! 61: You sound suspiciously like someone who just lies there.

You as well, Doctor! Hope I didn't miss too terribly much while I was gone. 106- You are correct... communication is key in these situations.

I swear to the Mighty FML Deity, everyone who says "Dump him" gets my foot up their asses. What he did is called "communication" and it's vital to a relationship, especially when it comes to sex. I applaud him for actually having the balls to tell you. How else are you going to learn to stop acting like a corpse during sex?

In this case, the traditional "dump him/her" advice should go to OP's boyfriend. Terrible sex AND a girl who sucks at communication? Doesn't sound promising.

Dump him...

It's funny because his picture is a foot.

Omg you are a bitch like I bet you perform really well in bed you whore

21- Um... random. Was that brilliant insult meant for me?

I am a DocBastard fan.

Yea it was. Are you a porn star or something? Maybe her boyfriend sucks at pleasuring her but I guess you have everything figure out about other peoples lives so you have the right to insult them and tell them what they're doing wrong

31- Shoo. You're scaring away all of the FML users who actually have a sense of humor. Quite honestly, I don't understand why you are taking my comments so personally. Did someone have a conversation similar to OP's recently, and she's feeling a little insecure? Hmm.

Amen brother

88 because Noor carries special powers that extend beyond the formating rules of FML of course

If sex is such a "huge part" of a relationship, what am i supposed to do if i plan to remain abstinent until marriage?

my last comment didn't go in the right spot so it doesn't make sense

Pretend it doesn't bother you when you marry someone that doesn't satisfy you sexually and then cheat on your spouse when you realize things aren't going to get any better?

Sounds to me like he is terrible at communicating if it took so much for OP to get that out of him. It shouldn't be a problem to talk about those things between partners.

Say fuck it an get laid

Why is sex all people care about? He didn't "satisfy" me so i'm gonna cheat on him with someone better. What happened to wanting to be with someone for the rest of your life because you love them and love being with him. I think you all need a reality check if what determines your potential marriage is how good they are in bed -____-

Your see-through foot?

Dump him. Bring it footboy

agree with #7. just because you're on the bottom doesn't mean you don't have to contribute at all. Also you shouldn't always BE on the bottom

120 - He didn't say sex was a huge part of a relationship. He said COMMUNICATION was a vital part of a relationship, which is true of sexual relationships as well as abstinent relationships. Ergo,you should go not have sex with your partner and communicate well, and then once you're married, have sex and still communicate well.

#7, Doc, as usual, you're exactly correct. Nothing is worse than a lack of communication in the bedroom. In my experience, women aren't nearly as "good" as they think they are - I blame guys. Especially the slightly more immature / desperate guys in their past, who were SO happy to receive ANY sexual attention they call every single encounter "the best ever"...

I agree. Communication is key and it is really hard to tell your love something is wrong or they aren't doing something you need.

So... Move a little dip shit!

31, if the boyfriend sucked at pleasuring her then maybe she needed to communicate it. Stop attacking kylee, she is saying nothing wrong.

Wow, with comments being deleted and moderated in the mean time my comment made no sense...

Noor, I was a bit confused too, haha. I've been called some top-shelf names on this site, but I usually deserve it. Wasn't sure what to make of a completely random attack.

In all honesty, all OP really needs to do is use her imagination and try new things. : he may very well end up dumping her eventually if se doesn't do something. After all sex is a big part of a relationship.

Lots of people are saying she sucks at communication but she says she repeatedly asked what was wrong, she cared enough to be persistent. For all we know she's brand new to this and he's been at it awhile, and then the teacher job falls on his shoulders. The communication needs to be two ways.

I'll just sit here and pretend I'm not confused at the fact that Noor is tenth commenter.

I hate you even more Doc when you're right.

Well can you blame him? How would you feel if he just laid there while you did all the work... All the time. You need to stop being lazy and try new things. Bring out the freak in you, every man loves a freak in the bed.

Ya that's my bf he just lays there n then I get bored on top n stop n am like I'm bored lol meanwhile when he's on top it's completely different I make him feel like he's doin an awesome job and it's never boring.. That's ok I don't get on top that much too bad for him

You're missing a shitload of punctuation in that comment. Not that it'd make it any better, but still.

50- I'm more concerned about the random love-life lowdown than I am about the punctuation.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

57- missed the point completely, and also you're*

Reversed cowgirl! Spice it up girl! It'll be more fun for the both of you :)

Its funny, cause you're 17

Because we all know 17 year olds are abstinent, right? Her age is irrelevant, her advice was solid.

I suggest a Vietnamese Shame Wheel.

Reverse cowgirl is where it's at! It's my boyfriend's favorite position, so I end up doing it almost every time. Have some fun! That's what sex is all about ;)

This is just your boyfriend trying to be open and communicate with you. At least you have that kind of boyfriend, most people don't. Take this as a learning opportunity for the sake of your sex life.