Miscellaneous: Today, in the men's room a guy using the adjacent toilet dropped...

By Vkaz - United States - Tampa

Today, in the men's room a guy using the adjacent toilet dropped his phone, and it fell right next to my foot. The screen was facing upward, and looked like he was taking pictures of his junk in the office toilet. FML

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Miscellaneous

Walk on the wild side

Furry

Targeted

By D-Man - United States

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a co-worker. I got her the job. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane

Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML

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By ehbe - France

Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shout back in unison: "We're F*ing, go away". FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Kettering

Today, my roommate wants to kick me out because I can't afford to pay my share of the rent this month. I couldn't afford to, because I had to pay for repairs to my car after my roommate got drunk, stole my keys, and crashed it into a street light. FML

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40163

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By NoPromotionForYou - 7/5/2020 14:00

The sweet smell of success

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

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1387

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By blowinchunks - Canada

Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML

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By Noname - United States

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML

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By I already have one, thanks - Australia - Mosman

Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML

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By NeedToBeMessier - United States - Hardwick

Today, the couple I've been housesitting for returned. Apparently, I kept the place too clean, and they don't believe that I actually stayed here. They're refusing to pay me. FML

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By mammamia - United States

Today, in a big argument, my sister uninvited my mom to her wedding. Trying to comfort my mom, I rented Mamma Mia knowing she's wanted to see it for a while. Turns out, Mamma Mia is a mother/daughter feel-good about the daughters wedding. I had no idea, and my mom cried the whole movie. FML

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By Burny

Today, my partner took a shower while in the middle of cooking something. My eyes are still burning from the smoke. FML

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By illjustlimpthen - United States - Waukesha

Today, despite my pain, my mom still refuses to take me to a foot doctor because, "They all have foot fetishes." FML

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By Theresa - 26/10/2020 13:55

Sounds like a catch

Today, my ex called and said he still loved me. I said I’d move across the country to be with him. Then he said we could live in his dad’s house, so I can protect him from his sister’s best friend, who gave him chlamydia. At the end of call, he said he’s seeing someone and he likes her because she buys him gifts and food. FML

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By thenewgirlfriend - United States - League City

Today, I cut my bangs. When I asked my boyfriend if he liked it he said, "It's like I'm dating a new girl, this way I won't get bored with you." FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Today, I folded a stack of 2,500 brochures for the new exhibit we're putting on at the museum where I work. As I was finishing up, I got an email. The dates have just been changed, so all the brochures have to be reprinted and refolded. FML

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By maf811 - United States

Today, my mother panicked and was about to report me missing when I didn't answer her calls while I was at a movie. I'm 31, and have lived on my own for over 10 years. FML

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By unemployed

Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call for an interview. Right in the middle of the call, my phone hung up so the music app could open. I tried calling them back and got no response. FML

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By anonymous - Ireland

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

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23337

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By Cherie - United States

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - La Mesa

Today, while working third shift alone at a gas station, I had to deal with a crazy guy tripping balls and asking me if it was okay to bring a gun into the place. I don't get paid nearly enough for this. FML

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By shouldveknown - Canada

Today, I found out that the money my boyfriend has "secretly" been putting away for the last two months is not for an engagement ring like I'd thought, but for a trip to Vegas I'm not invited to. FML

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29235

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Today, I realized how exhausted I was when I mixed up my eye makeup remover with toner. My eye still burns. FML

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By therealducktape - France

Today, I got back from a two week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my room mate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML

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The girl?

Today, my mate was bragging about the nudes he was getting from this random girl, he proceeded to show me... It was my cousin. FML

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By chacha_bby - United States

Today, I had a party at my house. When my parents came home, my dad asked how the party was. I told him I didn't know what he was talking about, to which he responded "Well the puke all over the driveway begs to differ." FML

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By jennlikewhoa - United States

Today, I got robbed at the gas station I work at. After only getting $38 dollars out the register, the guy then steals my purse. It had my rent money in it. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

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By NYCguy - United States

Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML

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By lala - United States

Red circle gang

Today, my boyfriend and I were flipping through magazines and got on the topic of how airbrushed the girls were. My boyfriend then pointed out all of the flaws on my body that would need to be airbrushed away if I was in a magazine. FML

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By NotKeithRichards - United States

Today, while playing a gig with my band, I tried pulling the classic "playing the guitar with one foot on the monitor" rock-star pose. However, I misjudged the height of the monitor, didn't notice the puddle of beer in front of it, slipped, and fell off the stage into the security guy. FML

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By notquitejuliet - United States - Gibsonia

Today, I decided I wanted to bleach my hair, so I asked my mother for help. Apparently, something went wrong, because clumps of my hair started falling out. Now I'm half blonde and half bald, and my mom is just laughing at me. FML

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25211

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By sonofaneuroticwench - United States - Rice Lake

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

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By FriendlessLoser - United States - Bristow

Today, it's again one of many times my mom dropped me off at the mall to hang out with friends. Since I have no friends, I shop by myself and always tell her I had "so much fun". FML

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By ohgodwhy - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to cheer me up after I'd had a sleepless night. He thought it would be a good time to propose. Unfortunately, it coincided with me yawning. FML

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28933

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By bad sis - United States - Monterey Park

Backwards

Today, my family got very upset with me when I advised my brother’s girlfriend to take the kids and leave. They’re more upset with me telling her that, than the fact that my brother is an abusive serial cheater and a raging alcoholic, who hits her and the kids. FML

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2279

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By kb - United States

Today, I found out how it feels when a refrigerator door unhinges and falls on your toes. FML

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32036

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I sat right next to the door on the bus. When I went to get up, a man tripped and pushed me down the exit door stairs. I fell down and legitimately broke my ankle. While tending to my ankle, the bus doors closed and my backpack with my laptop, notes and calculator drove away. FML

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By Anonymous

The Outsider

Today, I realized I am ‘that person’ in the group when I was only added to the group chat 6 weeks after it was created. I don’t really see a point in trying to chime in to the conversation at this point, but leaving the group seems a bit dramatic. FML

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1387

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By NoThanksGrandma

Today, I walk into my grandma's house after having a fabulous lunch with a few friends. The first thing I hear is "Be a dear and help me change my colostomy bag." I lost that fabulous lunch. FML

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27239

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By Anonymous

Break it off

Today, I found out my fiancée wishes she'd never said yes when I proposed, as she is in love with another man and has been hiding their relationship for years. FML

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Top comments

By GodPart2 | 20

#6079533 - Thursday 2 October 2014 23:24

Kick it back to him, it's the only decent thing to do

By Crofty92 | 17

#6079535 - Thursday 2 October 2014 23:24

Or maybe he was using the front camera to look over the stall.

COMMENTS

By GodPart2 | 20

#6079533 - Thursday 2 October 2014 23:24

Kick it back to him, it's the only decent thing to do

Just_A_Tree | 20

#6079566 - Friday 3 October 2014 0:07

Did he at least follow the Blue Mountain State guide lines for dick picks?

adrian1910 | 15

#6079580 - Friday 3 October 2014 0:42

Plot twist: what if it wasn't dropped?

Riku714 | 25

#6079593 - Friday 3 October 2014 1:07

The plot thickens..

CoolCookie210 | 22

#6079683 - Friday 3 October 2014 4:58

Further plot twist: what if it wasn't his junk?

thief1434 | 23

#6080415 - Saturday 4 October 2014 0:47

Lol, it all depends on what the dude said after he dropped it.

By thefmlman2011 | 35

#6079534 - Thursday 2 October 2014 23:24

That's gross!

By Crofty92 | 17

#6079535 - Thursday 2 October 2014 23:24

Or maybe he was using the front camera to look over the stall.

sarah5745 | 41

#6079548 - Thursday 2 October 2014 23:40

Oh god, please no..

Adeptasaurus | 12

#6081302 - Sunday 5 October 2014 1:08

Maybe he "dropped" the phone to get you interested.

By kingcaper817 | 14

#6079536 - Thursday 2 October 2014 23:25

Oh man that's nasty sorry you had to see that

RecklessLove | 18

#6079734 - Friday 3 October 2014 6:59

Actually, it didn't specify whether it was the camera or pictures.

By luverofakatsuki | 16

#6079537 - Thursday 2 October 2014 23:26

to each their own i guess :/

By christian1509 | 21

#6079538 - Thursday 2 October 2014 23:27

I don't see why he couldn't wait till he was home, fuck your life for having to see that

LittleBells | 17

#6079686 - Friday 3 October 2014 5:06

There's a button for that

killerdana | 19

#6079706 - Friday 3 October 2014 5:54

That's a little ironic #53 considering you could have just down voted his comment and moved on. Your comment only works if all he said was fyl

By possy | 19

#6079539 - Thursday 2 October 2014 23:27

I know everyone else wondering who's is bigger?

buckstop1 | 37

#6079541 - Thursday 2 October 2014 23:29

Nope .Just you

sarah5745 | 41

#6079551 - Thursday 2 October 2014 23:42

I don't think anyone is #7

tony1891 | 22

#6079560 - Thursday 2 October 2014 23:59

nope. no one else here is wondering that.

sdroze1389 | 31

#6079563 - Friday 3 October 2014 0:00

mine is

By not_alone | 8

#6079540 - Thursday 2 October 2014 23:29

At least know you know what he does when he gets bored at work ...

By therealjc_fml | 14

#6079542 - Thursday 2 October 2014 23:30

One of many reasons to not take a dump at work!

killerdana | 19

#6079704 - Friday 3 October 2014 5:51

But sometimes you can't hold it till your lunch break or when you get home

By orbit | 22

#6079543 - Thursday 2 October 2014 23:31

So why is this an fml? Maybe for the other guy out of embarrassment but why fyl?

Khaleesi_26 | 30

#6079546 - Thursday 2 October 2014 23:36

Because OP will have those images burned into the back of his mind. And I'm sure that's not something he really wanted to see.