By Pissed - 05/10/2011 15:29 - Australia

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 670
You deserved it 8 363

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Just put toilet paper on the seat and take a shower when you get home

It's not like I don't understand why people don't want to use public toilets, but wouldn't it be easier to bring some toilet seat covers? Squatters often cause the most mess.

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Aww, what a naive little girl!

Her aunt looked funny squating ... Just her observation...

She posed a good question. Why are you squatting like a kangaroo?

Did you have a baby in your pouch?

You know, there's such a thing as putting toilet paper on the seat?

Fuck your nieces life....having to be in a stall with someone else while they are using the shitter....yikes

Easy and more convenient to squat haha

#18 busy shopping center + little girl = niece gettin lost/kidnapped. No fhl for her dipshit

I would have waited in the stall for at least ten mins for everybody to leave

24, I disagree. I think it's more awkward to squat over the toilet and risk your legs touching the really nasty sides or front of the toilet or even worse, losing your balance and ending up bare assing the seat. Especially for shorties like myself.

I agree with those saying to line the seat with lots of toilet paper. Squatting just leaves even more of a mess. ...and is a pain to do when you're wearing heels

I just don't get why everyone would piss there pants laughing. They were in a bathroom. I'm sure if they were laughing that hard they would use the toilet to piss in.

I think that what her niece said is hilarious! I'd be embarrassed if it happened to me, but you gotta be able to laugh at things like that.

Did you know that sitting on a toilet seat is unhealthy to begin with? Humans were meant to squat when defecating. Sitting on a toilet has been shown to cause/worsen health issues. Most places around the world (non-Western society) have squat toilets. Look it up. :)

Squat toilets and squatting while using a sitting toilet are two very different things. Look it up.

I think you're a little over-hygenic.

CONTRADICTION. KANGAROOS DON'T SIT.

Unless you carry disinfectant wipes everywhere you go, this is NOT over-hygienic.. Who really knows what sort of nasties can be found on even a clean looking seat on a -public- loo.. I try to avoid contact with the seat wherever possible too.

Someone might have pissed or period-ed on it....

Do YOU think it's okay to sit on a poop/pee/blood stained toilet???

This doesn't really seem like an fml to me considering 75-80% of the women in there were probably doing the same thing! Most women squat. If the women were laughing they were probably laughing because It's just funny to have it related to a kangaroo. Kids are cute and funny and it sound like your niece is too!

absolutely. the various fluids make it easy to slide around on the seat. it's an insane amount of fun.

I know my mom does this (I remember seeing/her telling me how to) but I tryed it once and fell into the tolite so I'm not trying that again xD

'Do YOU think it's okay to sit on a poop/pee/blood stained toilet???' I wonder what toilets in America look like... Seriously, a toilet seat is not even that dirty, don't be a wussy and just sit on it. Squatting is very unhealthy, sitting on a toilet seat with even less germs than the average keyboard, isn't.

45- it depends, if you're in a clean toilet in a supermarket or restaurant it's fine to sit down but if you're in a tiny dingy pub bathroom that has yet to be introduced to a toilet brush and looks like it has a new species ready to dominate the world in there I would suggest squatting or covering with toilet paper.

Squatting is unhealthy, DeeJay Pee? Where are you getting you're health info? Out of your ass? Squatting is great for your body. It lubricates the knees and builds muscles in the thighs and tightens the buttocks. Humans were made to squat. The vast majority of women until recent history use to give birth while squatting. Not lying down. Squatting IS very healthy for you. It's only unhealthy if your form is way off or you have a preexisting condition. Geez. People will say anything these days.

Squatting is also bad if you aren't doing it right. For example, I've seen people doing squats at the gym, and they let their knees extend over their toes. This is bad because it puts extra stress on the posterior cruciate ligament (PCL), which is a ligament in the knee.

45- I'm a speed skater and my sport requires me to squat at all times by doing that I have built muscles in my leg. So it is healthy. Go USSpeedskating!!

#45...not to be a buzz kill...but OP doesn't even live in the Americas. Lol.

I agree, all the dirty stuff goes into the toilet bowel. I know I certainly don't piss purposely on the seat for the giggles. Even after I sit on the seat, and even if it's dirty, I don't scratch my ass cheeks and put my fingers in my mouth :/ Think about school desks and door handles and how many people touch those a day, ew.

Its good you were squating.… you could have gotten bublonic ass plauge! 0.o

For all those who immediately shot down #45 about squatting you might want to recheck your logic. Clearly in this situation you wouldn't be squatting for the health benefits. When you squat and hover over a toilet seat (which is generally higher than if you were roughin it in the woods) you can't relax all the muscles needed to release all the urine in your bladder. The small amount remaining usually contains the larger waste sediments which can cause bladder infections and UTI's. For less than a dollar you can buy travel size antibacterial wipes to clear away your anxieties and leave a drip free seat for the next user.

You can catch crabs if you sit on a toilet seat!!!! I never sit on them

'Squatting is great for your body.' Not on the toilet seat, sweetheart, because it can cause bladder infections. But hey, at least you didn't got that nasty germ on your body! #133...not to be a buzz kill...but my comment was a reply to someone who live in the Americas. Lol. (PS, I'm really stunned by the amazing number of people who are too chicken to sit on a toilet seat. I wonder how they can ever survive in this dirty world filled with nasty little germs...)

I agree. I saw a show where the toilet seat was the least place to worry about. It's what you touch with your hands that you have to worry about. I never squat. If it looks nasty, I go to a different stall.

Yeah, and so are the knobs on paper towel dispensers and sinks. And if you're concerned about the germs on the fucking toilet seat you can just spit onto a piece of toilet paper and wipe it down, then lay some more paper on it. Take your nine second piss, and shut the hell up.

I completely agree with 58, just sit on the seat. after all, toilet seats have less germs on them than the average kitchen table(that's a fact btw)

Toilet seats aren't really that dirty, the butt isn't too germy of a place (want germs, the hand and facte are worse) where you sit, the seat is a dry and cold environment, bad for bacteria and virus growth, and if there is urine, you can wipe it off, urine is germ free

Just put toilet paper on the seat and take a shower when you get home

*tries to visualize*

Anyone else notice that op is from Australia?

Did anyone else notice that 96 found five dollars?

#96, WOW!?! Really, they're from Australi!? Gosh, that's amazing, I didn't know they had toilets in Australia -.-

Op should have kangaroo kicked her niece

Haha I like that lil girl! :P

One of the few FML's I actually laughed out loud at!

Kids say the darndest things....... at the wrong time.

It's not like I don't understand why people don't want to use public toilets, but wouldn't it be easier to bring some toilet seat covers? Squatters often cause the most mess.

You expect people to bring toilet seat covers everywhere they go? Hell, it's bad enough that some countries expect you to buy your own toilet paper and carry it around with you.

Public bathrooms usually supply toilet seat covers.

I don't think I have seen any toilets with seat covers here in Aus!

My cousin has a small packet of paper seat covers for when she goes out. That seems like a good idea for germophobes.

I don't doubt one second that you'd have done that..

Boffer your pic is why many hate public toilets. But is that a nosebleed? Why the toilet not the sink :

Where do you even buy toilet seats? I've never seen them sold at any store I've gone to.

#10 is right. if everyone sat there wouldn't be a mess in the first place. More than any fear I have of "but germs" I hate finding a toilet seat covered in the previous visitor's sprinklings. Just carry a little bottle of hand sanitizer (if you're scared of toilets you would logically ALREADY carry it to deal with all of life's other nasties) give the seat a little squirt and wipe it off with tp. Tah-dah germ free surface. Now just wash your hands (I hope that advice was unnecessary) and you're good.

I'm in Australia and there a couple places that supply seat covers, but its pretty new. Things like that aren't as readily available to us, as they can be for america etc.

I probably would shat my pants laughing.

Well then pray they had their pants down peeing already so they didn't piss their pants. If they didn't, then f their lives.

Aw that's so cute! Kids do come out with some golden quotes :3