Today, I sent a polite yet strongly-worded email to one of my... - FML

By SomeExplainingToDo - 4/9/2017 04:30

Today, I sent a polite yet strongly-worded email to one of my corporate clients in which I expressed my irritation at being asked the same question by the same team for the 4th day in a row. I ended it with "Regards!" but accidentally swapped the 'g' with a 't'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3347

You deserved it

1671

Tweet

Share

Season finale

Ghosted

Abuse

By s0728 - 1/9/2014 21:37 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37455

You deserved it

3287

Tweet

Share

By AFH2O - 14/7/2014 23:04 - United States - Visalia

Today, I got chewed out by a parent for putting her kid underwater. I teach swim lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46403

You deserved it

3865

Tweet

Share

By neighbour hell - 25/4/2013 17:56 - Norway - Kristiansand

Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50920

You deserved it

2673

Tweet

Share

By soreloser - 20/5/2013 06:32 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47743

You deserved it

6171

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/12/2014 11:55 - Australia

Today, it's been months since I dropped out of college to escape constantly being bullied and being miserable. Ever since then, I've been having recurring nightmares with the same people bullying me, after which I wake up crying and feeling miserable. My brain is a douchebag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36478

You deserved it

4844

Tweet

Share

By stillwaiting - 9/3/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, my mom called and told me I got accepted to my first-choice college. I got really excited and asked her to read me the letter. As she started to read it, she said, "Oops... uh, nevermind." FML

I agree, your life sucks

77046

You deserved it

3110

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/11/2012 20:53 - New Zealand - Tauranga

Today, we found out that the beloved "Uncle Jimmy" from my early childhood was really the man my mother was cheating on my dad with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29098

You deserved it

1663

Tweet

Share

By theydidsmellitthough - 8/2/2013 21:59 - Israel - Netanya

Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26109

You deserved it

9339

Tweet

Share

By Ah hell - 31/1/2009 14:43 - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11813

You deserved it

52313

Tweet

Share

By Virginy - 1/11/2014 01:26 - France

Today, I was stuck in the elevator at my building, so I pushed the emergency button which made a ringing noise. After half an hour, I hear someone yelling to the elevator, "Could you stop pushing that button, there are kids sleeping." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36566

You deserved it

2590

Tweet

Share

By Foosa801 - 25/12/2016 23:08 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I woke up my friend and had him take me to the ER. I had trouble breathing and my chest hurt, so the doctor put me on an EKG and took X-rays. I had strained my chest lifting weights at the gym earlier that day and pulled a muscle, and now thanks to my massive anxiety I have a $700 hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7245

You deserved it

1907

Tweet

Share

By one cock too many - 4/8/2020 05:02

Who's been a naughty girl?

Today, I found out I’m the guy whose wife made adult films in college. Although embarrassed, I thought I may be able to get past it. Except for the fact that we dated in college, and she insisted we wait until after we were married to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

939

You deserved it

86

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 3/2/2015 18:23 - United States - Cheyenne

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39137

You deserved it

2893

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/1/2013 18:22 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, after an hour of crying over a guy I like, I put on some Adele and sang along. My mom quickly took notice and came to give me advice, which was to "get over it" because he doesn't want me, and that "masturbation beats relationships hands down." Gee, thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30448

You deserved it

7478

Tweet

Share

By I can still feel it... - 24/8/2018 19:30 - United States - Midlothian

Today, my contact split completely in half at a wedding. Not only did I interrupt the vows with my scream of pain, but I was only able to fish out half of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2722

You deserved it

222

Tweet

Share

By douglas - 17/7/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

I agree, your life sucks

40085

You deserved it

8218

Tweet

Share

By Cherrish it - 4/9/2012 04:24 - United States - Carmichael

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10560

You deserved it

58597

Tweet

Share

By Nochnoii - 7/10/2009 20:07 - Belgium

Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31537

You deserved it

13159

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/4/2009 20:17 - United States

Today, I was delivering packages to patients in the hospital for my job. My boss gave me a room to deliver to, and I drop it off as usual. But my boss gave me the wrong room number. I had to walk in, apologize, and take back balloons and a stuffed animal from a crying 6year old patient. FML

I agree, your life sucks

131364

You deserved it

8225

Tweet

Share

By Jeremy - 7/8/2009 02:03 - United States

Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to for three months. She's a year younger than me and it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said I remind her of her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

80575

You deserved it

7339

Tweet

Share

By deranged - 25/5/2017 19:00 - Ukraine - Pirogov

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the bank to get her new ATM card. As the bank teller gave her the card, he said that the PIN remained the same. Indignant, she cried out, "How do you possibly know my PIN code?" She's 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3893

You deserved it

454

Tweet

Share

By asianlover - 30/6/2011 07:24 - Finland

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58001

You deserved it

5222

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 23/7/2020 05:00

What?

Today, I found out that my hearing is average for a 60-year-old. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1058

You deserved it

104

Tweet

Share

By single - 8/8/2015 06:23 - United States - Houston

Today, my psycho ex crashed a date with my girlfriend. She acted like we were still together and made a big show of dumping me for cheating on her. My actual girlfriend bought it hook line and sinker. Now I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29602

You deserved it

1985

Tweet

Share

By Kramer - 16/2/2012 12:49 - Canada

Today, I found out that driving for 2 weeks on 3/4 of a tank doesn't mean my truck magically got more efficient, it means my gas gauge is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13594

You deserved it

32809

Tweet

Share

By 0stvn0 - 16/3/2012 01:18 - Canada

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33422

You deserved it

5576

Tweet

Share

By krisest1988 - 7/5/2016 21:34 - United States - Columbus

Today, my boyfriend came home from a two week vacation and told me I need to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12604

You deserved it

923

Tweet

Share

By deepblue - 24/1/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, we ordered pizza. A long wait and several phone calls later, we found out that someone met the delivery person at the end of our driveway, signed our receipt, and stole our pizza. Way to check the credit card pizza people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30852

You deserved it

3014

Tweet

Share

By - 15/1/2017 08:00

Today, after getting home from shopping, I noticed a security tag was still on one of the shirts I bought. I decided to take it back and ask them to remove the tag. They then accused me of trying to steal (even after I showed them the receipt) and kicked me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8017

You deserved it

548

Tweet

Share

By scoobses - 2/10/2015 00:45 - United States

Today, my pain-in-the-ass co-worker is finally leaving. Unfortunately, I was chosen to do the bulk of her job. She has given me no training and on her last day, just smirked at me on her way out and say, "Enjoy doing my job too, fucker". I don't get paid enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24734

You deserved it

1870

Tweet

Share

By Rebecca - 16/4/2012 18:49 - United States - Bloomfield

Today, my mom admitted that the only reason she took me out for lunch was because she felt guilty over going on a massive shopping spree for my sister while I was forced to stay home alone. I thanked her for the Wendy's meal anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28555

You deserved it

2133

Tweet

Share

By cat co-parent - 3/1/2015 00:11 - Australia

Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31501

You deserved it

2728

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/4/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I had a really cute waitress at lunch. I decided to leave my number and a $50 bill for a $15 check. When I left the restaurant I realized I still had the $50 but a $1 bill was missing from my wallet. I've been getting threatening text messages all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18455

You deserved it

63428

Tweet

Share

By has-evil-friends - 26/11/2009 20:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31579

You deserved it

3592

Tweet

Share

By handymandy - 19/1/2012 11:44 - United States

Today, we received our honeymoon itinerary. Our travel agent booked our flight to Punta Cana correctly. Too bad she booked us a hotel in Orlando, Florida. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30906

You deserved it

2588

Tweet

Share

By anon - 31/7/2014 03:12 - Canada - Goderich

Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38673

You deserved it

3408

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/11/2014 04:44 - United States - Mahwah

Today, I bought a Santa hat. After wearing the hat for a few hours, I noticed a strange lump near the tip of it. I stuck my hand inside to dig out the mysterious object. It was a dead cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34547

You deserved it

3533

Tweet

Share

By qwerty - 5/5/2009 20:39 - United States

Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, my legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML

I agree, your life sucks

52090

You deserved it

9060

Tweet

Share

By scot - 2/9/2012 15:38 - United States - Granby

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27120

You deserved it

13868

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/7/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, I checked the facebook event page that I had set up for my 21st birthday at an awesome restaurant/bar which I had set up a week ago. Out of 39 invitees, the only person who said yes is my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46348

You deserved it

5550

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By RichardPencil | 28

#7537215 - Monday 4 September 2017 4:44

Very inappropriate!

Your sign-off should have read:

"Mentally challenged!"
and then your signature.

By core01 | 30

#7537212 - Monday 4 September 2017 4:34

Proof read!
Regards!

COMMENTS

By core01 | 30

#7537212 - Monday 4 September 2017 4:34

Proof read!
Regards!

By RichardPencil | 28

#7537215 - Monday 4 September 2017 4:44

Very inappropriate!

Your sign-off should have read:

"Mentally challenged!"
and then your signature.

Reply

acmariner99 | 23

#7537222 - Monday 4 September 2017 6:06

My personal favorite: mentally unhinged!

By nanxi | 30

#7537220 - Monday 4 September 2017 5:27

Now that's a virtual Freudian slip if I've ever seen one!

By acmariner99 | 23

#7537221 - Monday 4 September 2017 6:05

Are you sure that was an accident? Believe me I completely understand if it wasn't!

By tolkien897 | 15

#7537236 - Monday 4 September 2017 7:43

"Accidentally." We've all heard that excuse before.

By tonyfan00 | 38

#7537238 - Monday 4 September 2017 8:14

I mean it's not like they didn't have it coming...

By Lobby_Bee | 17

#7537243 - Monday 4 September 2017 8:25

At least your fingers had the balls to do it for you.

By bogolopian | 12

#7537283 - Monday 4 September 2017 10:55

That's the problem with the brain. Sometimes it types what you're really thinking.

By amarie2009 | 22

#7537313 - Monday 4 September 2017 12:34

Well if the shoe fits LOL!!!

By 10thFloor | 16

#7537316 - Monday 4 September 2017 12:36

I can't stop laughing!!