Intimacy: Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't...

By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 17:58 - United States - Athens

Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 409

You deserved it 16 227

Intimacy

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wisericky 12

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Monday 5 August 2013 22:36

You should have been like. "You should see the other guy"

roflstomp716 19

Monday 5 August 2013 22:38

guess you were cruisin' for a bruisin'..

wisericky 12

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Monday 5 August 2013 22:36

You should have been like. "You should see the other guy"

lex1459 38

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Monday 5 August 2013 22:45

You should have started crying and claiming the demon from the conjuring was after you

soccerstar1996 18

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Monday 5 August 2013 22:47

OPs like, "Yeah, I wrestled a bear while drinking Dos Equis"

webbface 25

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Wednesday 7 August 2013 11:51

I find it kinda odd that your entire back was covered in bruises just from sex. Jeez I thought I was rough for scratches and little marks. Now I know if I actually wanna be rough I need to tell my bf to punch me constantly in the back while he is getting me from behind. Oh get a whip and whip the shit outta my back! Or smash me into some rocks! Jeez forget pleasure, bring on the pain. I hope you just bruise easily.

michelleJ11 25

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Monday 5 August 2013 22:36

Bet that took a lot of convincing ... Sounds like an interesting conversation though. Hopefully it didn't end with one of your parents stores of their experiences ...

michelleJ11 25

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Monday 5 August 2013 22:38

Stories** whoops.

roflstomp716 19

Monday 5 August 2013 22:38

guess you were cruisin' for a bruisin'..

PterodactylMan 23

Monday 5 August 2013 23:48

That had to hurt OP

Zimmington 21

Monday 5 August 2013 22:40

Well, he was technically beating Something up.

missfrenchie 11

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Tuesday 6 August 2013 5:58

He was beating... dat ass *cue Barney video* say it with me now.. Dat Ass~

Zimmington 21

Monday 5 August 2013 22:43

Irrelevant received cunnilings

CoffeeChickBlows 13

Monday 5 August 2013 22:52

What the fuck are cunnilings? Oh, you meant "cunnilingus"? Well your comment still blows.

Zimmington 21

Monday 5 August 2013 23:10

Yeah I meant cunnilingus but my my phone kept correcting it. Anyway I knew this comment would get thumbed down but I thought it would prevent more "Doesn't matter had sex" comments. But since #10 is exactly that I failed twice.

Clioo_fml 17

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Tuesday 6 August 2013 1:42

Correcting it to cunnilings? Since when do phones autocorrect to nonexistent words? Unless you've been using that word before continuously...but for what?!