By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 17:58 - United States - Athens

Spicy
Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks 57 409
You deserved it 16 227

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Top comments

You should have been like. "You should see the other guy"

roflstomp716 19

guess you were cruisin' for a bruisin'..

Comments

You should have been like. "You should see the other guy"

You should have started crying and claiming the demon from the conjuring was after you

OPs like, "Yeah, I wrestled a bear while drinking Dos Equis"

I find it kinda odd that your entire back was covered in bruises just from sex. Jeez I thought I was rough for scratches and little marks. Now I know if I actually wanna be rough I need to tell my bf to punch me constantly in the back while he is getting me from behind. Oh get a whip and whip the shit outta my back! Or smash me into some rocks! Jeez forget pleasure, bring on the pain. I hope you just bruise easily.

Bet that took a lot of convincing ... Sounds like an interesting conversation though. Hopefully it didn't end with one of your parents stores of their experiences ...

Stories** whoops.

roflstomp716 19

guess you were cruisin' for a bruisin'..

PterodactylMan 23

That had to hurt OP

Zimmington 21

Well, he was technically beating Something up.

He was beating... dat ass *cue Barney video* say it with me now.. Dat Ass~

Zimmington 21

Irrelevant received cunnilings

CoffeeChickBlows 13

What the fuck are cunnilings? Oh, you meant "cunnilingus"? Well your comment still blows.

Zimmington 21

Yeah I meant cunnilingus but my my phone kept correcting it. Anyway I knew this comment would get thumbed down but I thought it would prevent more "Doesn't matter had sex" comments. But since #10 is exactly that I failed twice.

Correcting it to cunnilings? Since when do phones autocorrect to nonexistent words? Unless you've been using that word before continuously...but for what?!

Someone say cunnilingus?

KinkyCurly 13

Kinky

Y'all have sex on the cement?

KiddNYC1O 20

Nah, they had great sex.

AllyBrianne 10

Doesnt matter- had sex

Real original comment, #10. Never seen that before

I for one love lonely island references

must've been some good sex!

challan 19

Take the pictures off the wall before you get lifted against it. It's all fun and games...