You should have been like.
"You should see the other guy"

You should have started crying and claiming the demon from the conjuring was after you

OPs like, "Yeah, I wrestled a bear while drinking Dos Equis"

I find it kinda odd that your entire back was covered in bruises just from sex. Jeez I thought I was rough for scratches and little marks. Now I know if I actually wanna be rough I need to tell my bf to punch me constantly in the back while he is getting me from behind. Oh get a whip and whip the shit outta my back! Or smash me into some rocks! Jeez forget pleasure, bring on the pain.
I hope you just bruise easily.

Bet that took a lot of convincing ... Sounds like an interesting conversation though. Hopefully it didn't end with one of your parents stores of their experiences ...

Stories** whoops.

guess you were cruisin' for a bruisin'..

That had to hurt OP

Well, he was technically beating Something up.

He was beating... dat ass *cue Barney video* say it with me now.. Dat Ass~

Irrelevant received cunnilings

What the fuck are cunnilings? Oh, you meant "cunnilingus"? Well your comment still blows.

Yeah I meant cunnilingus but my my phone kept correcting it. Anyway I knew this comment would get thumbed down but I thought it would prevent more "Doesn't matter had sex" comments. But since #10 is exactly that I failed twice.

Correcting it to cunnilings? Since when do phones autocorrect to nonexistent words?

Unless you've been using that word before continuously...but for what?!

Someone say cunnilingus?

Kinky

Y'all have sex on the cement?

Nah, they had great sex.

Doesnt matter- had sex

Real original comment, #10. Never seen that before

I for one love lonely island references

must've been some good sex!

Take the pictures off the wall before you get lifted against it. It's all fun and games...