Bulldogs are awesome.

ahaha I find that funny sorry x

hahaha, suuuucks.

This FML is bullpiss.

Agreed with 1. OP, I know how you feel. I have a Doberman, and he "accidentally" peed on my bed. I had to throw out the matress.

It's funny cause I got here before that douchebag parrot guy can comment with "it's funny because" and now as nothing to say.

Don't let that dog own you. You get up and piss all over it. Then he'll see who's boss.

dog=win

its funny cause you are slow and he peeon you

imaginary voice with the best possible statement for revenge. :)

Op your username is monkey. time to start flinging poo at the dog.

aww how cute :P

Golden Showers are lovely first thing in the morning :0)

That's disturbing, next time push him off and he'll stop.

I bet your pissed off now, right?

haha! I agree with 15

You totally deserved it. You don't run from a dog, trying to be boss, you SHOW who's boss. So untill you're boss... YDI.

hump his leg, show him whose boss!!! ...and then your mom comes in

it's funny because you had time to move and didn't

it's funny because u got a golden shower by a dog

agree with #1 how long was your dog bugging you to get up and let him out?

what does OP stand for???

your his bitch now

your dog has no respect for you. and that was his way of telling you who's boss. only thing left for you to do is pee on him now. fyl indeed.

It's funny because 97's racist comment makes everything better. Wait, not it's not.

91 your picture is retarded.

Says the guy with a picture of a giant dildo :l.

Says the guy with no picture :P

now THIS is an fml

68 and 91 win

this remind me of scary movie

at least you didnt wake up to bullshit.

those dogs r soo cute :)

push it off

on there face

76- and fake :p unless her name is kathryn skadoske the scene model she's fake.

89 - I don't get why people use scene models as their profile picture.. They will eventually be exposed!

aha it's all the make up if any girl used that much they'd all look like bloody models. I look like crap without somewhat make up:p

Someone needs to realize how fast dogs pee.

Someone needs to know dogs can easily be pushed off.

as a matter 'o fact, i do know how fast dogs pee, i have 2 pittbulls.

He woke up to it peeing I don't think that jumping out of the way was his first thought and he probably didn't realize iit was even gonna pee until it was too late

sir, you clearly cannot read,"getting ready to pee". OP had time to move

35- if you see a bloody dog ontop of you ready to pee your first reaction it to push it off. OP had the chance and failed, he needs better reflexes.

"Getting ready to pee" could be a nanosecond before he starts. It's a definite possibility that it was physically impossible for a human being (and a drowsy one at that) to move in time to avoid it.

thhhannnk u 44, push it off or roll off the bed, not that hard

46- even if he did, he could've pushed him off instantly. Dogs tend to stop when done so. It's not that hard

not really 46, rolling over off ur bed is defenatly faster than a stream of dog piss coming at ur face

Well dogs don't have to pee straight down and the quickest way to get him off would be to toss him to the side which he could probably still get piss on him, plus if he had touched him while he needed to piss that could have startled the piss out even faster. and anyway op deserves it for not training their dog.

thatt, and faster reflexes

48 - If you push the dog off, he'll just get surprised & pee everywhere instead of just one spot.

57- not true, have you never trained a dog? if you pick them up or push them they stop and go smelling around for a new spot.

58 - We don't know if the dog is trained or not.

60 thats how you train a dog, if u move it it will stop and find a new spot. it has nothing to do with the dog being trained or not

Really? 'Cause when my dog was about to pee on the bed, we did try to push him off, except he just kept peeing.

it doesnt work if the dog is already peeing lol. if the dog is squatting and firing up, if u move it it will find a new spot if its already peeing dogs cant stop peeing like people can

Ah, but I did say he was about to.

yae but dont forget 'he just kept peeing' implying that he began peeing before you moved him.

Because he was about to, & when we moved him he didn't stop like you said, he just started to pee.

i never said push the dog off i said roll off the bed lol and wut u said made noo sense lol if u moved the dog before it started peeing it would find a new spot.

Do we really need to fight over how a dog pee's?

1. we arent arguing we are having a conversation 2. its not over HOW a dog pees its WHEN a dog pees 3. ya i just made a list because im cool like that

It does indeed make sense. You're just trying to be right, & you aren't. Sorry, but, I've seen the works & it's not the same for every dog. And, rolling? I can't roll a 90 pound Doberman.

sir in the kindest way possible can u read? when i said roll off i meant OP rolls off the bed away from dog piss, i never said roll the dog. and i am right about moving the dog ask anyone who has ever owned a small dog, when it squats you yell and move it. it stops what its doing and finds another spot.

109- 111 has a point I've had many dogs an if they're interrupted they stop to look for another spot.

Sorry about the rolling part, you weren't being clear. My dog would only look for another spot if he were on a leash, not if he were free. & you never said small dogs, this wouldn't have continued if you would be specific. P.S. I'm a woman, not a "sir".

madam, when i said 'roll off the bed' many people with an IQ higher than a cattapillar could have realized i meant OP its simply reading stratigies and contex clues, the small dog part was self explanatory, an english bulldog is indeed a small dog directing the conversation in the direction of 'small dogs'

Why the heck would she do that?!

fail.

I gave master chief a BJ :0)