By Anonymous - 11/12/2010 03:42 - Canada

Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 436
You deserved it 4 658

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man... not the hot dogs. looks like he's just gonna have to resort to ramen. hopefully he doesn't fuck that up too.

Idiots, obviously.


Obviously hot dogs must be a challenge for your friend. Wonder how your friend was cooking them

man... not the hot dogs. looks like he's just gonna have to resort to ramen. hopefully he doesn't fuck that up too.

LMAO, but practice makes perfect!

ops roommate has a long way to go!! XD

THAT takes talent...

thank-you! I've tried to tell people that too "I'm not a challenged-cook, I'm a talented- firealaram- setter!"

nice rack

time for a new room mate

or she should put on ear plugs and shut the fuck up & stop bitching over small stuff. or you just stop giving advice (yeah I know I'm mean but I come here to release my anger & negative feelings so that I can function nicely in the real world) aaah :) feeling better already, thanks for giving me the chance to bully you by posting a stupid comment ^.*

^ weeeiiiirrrirdo..

says the dude taking a picture of himself while grabbing on to his belt.. bet you've got nothing else to grab on ^.^

ruby is my new favorite

37, I'm confused with your logic. How are earplugs going to protect the OP from a fire?!

So she doesn't hear her own screams as she burns to death when the kitchen sets the rest of the house on fire.

Thank you this is exactly what I though!

what? A woman who can't cook? this can't be true.

hehehe greatness.... looks like it's time for a less retarded roomie

At no point does OP mention roomie was of the female species.

well op is female, so most likely her roommate is too.

many women can't cook.. maybe cuz they're spoiled, busy or have better things to do. I can't cook.. but I can do some mind-blowing things! so yeah, it's normal.

^ I bet you can do more than "mind-blowing"things

Wow, a cerebral blow job. I need me one of those.

#7, it happens. It is very unfortunate. Us men buy the appliances and utensils to maker their lives easier, and they still mess shit up

XD ^^ you make me laugh so much. :L

She's trying to kill you in your sleep, OP!

that's hilarious. You deserve ir for rooming with a ratard

you're a retard. being challenged in the kitchen is normal. I once burnt tea! each person is better at some thing and worst at others. like I can't cook but I can do some mind-blowing stuff ^.*

I think what you meant to say was "retard." lol

nope. I think they mean Ruh-tard like in the hangover. dummy

Or rat turd?

wow ##38 have to be pretty dumb to burn tea...and we get the point you can do things that involve blowing, but I am starting to believe it's not the blowing of the mind that you're trying to boast

haha lol wow how is that even possible

ufff! I have to repeat myself. it's really not that hard to screw up in the kitchen, you can over BBQ the hot dogs or forget them cooking & voila... you've got a screaming fire alarm & a bitching roommate & weirdos like you making dumb comments

#1 how the fuck do you cook with a BBQ (I'm assuming you mean grill) inside? that would set off the smoke alarm itself. #2 why are you such a bitch, op's house has nearly burnt down 4 times. #3 OP FYL seriously get a new roommate, or ban her from the kitchen.

56, screw you! BBQ or grill, I'm not a kitchen person so whatever you asshole... & maybe OP is a douche bag just like you so (setting off a smoke alarm for few minutes meant house on fire for her).. & finally, don't ever talk to me that way, you motherfucker dickhead!

Ruby you sound like a Dick a.k.a. my current roommate. Go bitch at someone else or get a life.

^Agreed. FML isn't here to let you bitch at people. it's to share stories that will get a chuckle out of other people.

But, the stories ruby has shared have made me chuckle. :D