Today, I woke up next to a woman nearly twice my age. I don't know how to tell her it was drunken sex and not the beginning of a relationship. But I have to come up with something soon as I work with her Monday. FML
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By
sleekRelease
| 0
YDI. Don't drink. Idiot.
By
Metzler31
| 17
hahaha old lady ftw!
COMMENTS
By
sleekRelease
| 0
YDI. Don't drink. Idiot.
Reply
ryan_mcgrath1
| 0
just do her again and get off as fast as you can
Reply
KoochieCrusader
| 0
fuh fuh fuh failure.
Reply
seanreddog
| 4
fuh fuh fuh fucker
Reply
ImaginaryFoe
| 0
Agree with #1. You obviously can't handle drinking. Also, great job assuming she wants a relationship with you. She'll probably wake up wondering how to get away from the pimply-faced little slacker without ending up with a harrassment suit.
Reply
iAmPaul
| 49
this sounds fake it sounds like hedley's "don't talk to strangers" song and music video.
Reply
spaghetti542
| 0
This happened to me once, except that when we woke up she said to me, "can you drive me home before my boyfriend drops off my kids?" so it was more of a win.
Reply
ericownz101
| 0
fuh fuh fuh faggit
Reply
AziraLevana
| 2
#1: Agreed. If you can't drink responsibly, you shouldn't drink at all. Unfortunately, people who are irresponsible with their drinking don't just cause themselves problems - they often hurt and/or harm others, too. I should know. I'm a non-drinker, but drunk drivers left me disabled.
Reply
theswag
| 0
tri tri tri tribal fuh fuh fuh failure.
Reply
AznWaffle8
| 0
fuh fuh fuh failure
fuh fuh fuh failure
fuh fuh fuh failure
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER
fuh fuh fuh failure
fuh fuh fuh failure
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER
Reply
clanceyrocks11
| 0
ahhaahha that might have made my day! :)
Reply
Alina_86
| 0
Can't to hear how they handle it in "Soviet Russia".
Reply
bhangu023
| 0
hehe lol let me try;)
in soveit Russia women wakes up to you
or
in so soveit Monday works you
in soveit Russia women wakes up to you
or
in so soveit Monday works you
Reply
iSitt
| 0
wait till after the recession is over to dump her
Reply
the_pan1c
| 5
LOL at 18 :P
Reply
habeeboburky94
| 0
yht
Reply
ReyEr9412
| 0
In Soviet Russia, Uranium enriches you!
Reply
supraman_fml
| 0
Zom Zom Zom Zombie thinks tattoo boy should change a pic... an OP, your a tool dude... she will not want a "relationship". and what are you doing? lying next to her posting on FML? ... Dumbass
Reply
sourgirl101
| 28
24 Imaginaryfoe, I truely love love love all of your comments you post. You always seem to think outside of the box.
Reply
luckygirl9479
| 0
theswag, I love the pic.
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
Words of advice: Don't get drunk
Reply
ScaryyMary
| 14
littlered, I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but is your blog for real? You sound like a stalker...
Reply
massagenist
| 0
age does not matter if shes naturally good looking without any surgery like demi moore.
Reply
ImaginaryFoe
| 0
Sourgirl, I blushed.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Reply
u_killed_kenny_
| 0
you should say it was the V8 you had
Reply
luis420
| 0
^fail
Reply
Fodace
| 4
#15 sexy as FUCK!!!
Reply
holleymoffat
| 0
that was my first thought .
Reply
killerviral
| 0
hey at least you got laid
Reply
Ronikaa
| 0
hahah. I agree (;
Reply
WardFML
| 0
68- obviously you aren't aware of the google trend tosh.0 started last year. If you google 'demi Moore bush' you won't think of her that way again
Reply
sharpl916
| 0
Yeah. when I HAVE to, I just pretend drunk and act funny until things settle down a bit with everyone drunk. Drinking till your drunk is never a good idea. It does help you forget things but you know that's just running away..... Beer pong FTW!!
Reply
PatRme
| 9
omg 6666 ydi's!
Reply
pokerface5
| 0
would u suck my dick? I think you're hot !!!
Reply
Ghostalker
| 0
Like you had the power there... cougars are called cougars because they're predators
Reply
LonelyLoser42
| 0
Yeger!
Reply
BeachPanda
| 0
how about " i was drunk, im not into wrinkles?"
By
druggielove
| 0
first first first
Reply
romskiies
| 0
fail fail fail
Reply
afatmonkey
| 0
Ooh! I want to play!
Orgasmic butt-monkey! Orgasmic butt-monkey! Orgasmic butt-monkey!
Did I win?
Orgasmic butt-monkey! Orgasmic butt-monkey! Orgasmic butt-monkey!
Did I win?
Reply
ImaginaryFoe
| 0
yes yes yes
Reply
seanreddog
| 4
no no no
Reply
druggielove
| 0
second second second
Reply
cookie_monster2
| 0
moo moo moo
Reply
supraman_fml
| 0
Zombie Zombie Zombie
Reply
slipknot262318
| 0
Shutup! Shutup! Shutup!
(I have voices in my head...)
(I have voices in my head...)
Reply
rawrtastyc
| 0
It's à little late but, oink oink oink.
Reply
knibbsy
| 4
badger badger badger
Reply
Fodace
| 4
crayons crayons crayons
Reply
Trent14
| 0
vagina vagina vagina
Reply
sharpl916
| 0
chococucumbermelonmustardbread chococucumbermelonmustardbread chococucumbermelonmustardbread(it's my favorite to make!)
Reply
Sassybq1
| 13
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
OH YEEEEEEEEA!
Oh no!
Oh no!
OH YEEEEEEEEA!
Reply
loganberrybat
| 11
Not not not!!! Sad sad sad
Reply
klovemachine
| 24
lol lol lol
By
Metzler31
| 17
hahaha old lady ftw!
Reply
alr158
| 18
Andrea, was that with you?
By
shruikono
| 0
ydi noych
By
JoeMamas
| 0
I hope she was married. They're the best:)
By
maryjaneslover7
| 0
go shoot up some herion queer its all about maryjane
By
jpallan
| 3
Actually, I wouldn't worry too much about it. As Saturday Night Live memorably put it in their sketch, "Cougar Den", "I'll pay you, and this won't get messy."
I'm not exactly how to put this respectfully, but anyone who is twice your age — and I'm assuming you're at least 16 — probably does not want a boyfriend half her age. She may want another shag or three, but she'd probably be more embarrassed by a public liasion than you. Really.
I'm not exactly how to put this respectfully, but anyone who is twice your age — and I'm assuming you're at least 16 — probably does not want a boyfriend half her age. She may want another shag or three, but she'd probably be more embarrassed by a public liasion than you. Really.
Reply
time4coffee
| 3
Congrats you're a boy toy!!!
If she's twice you're age, she is NOT thinking of it as a relationship. She's not interested in you for the long haul.
Get over yourself.
If she's twice you're age, she is NOT thinking of it as a relationship. She's not interested in you for the long haul.
Get over yourself.
By
1LL337
| 0
YDI for posting a stupid FML. Pretty sure any straight male 30 and younger wouldn't mind being cougar prey, especially the no strings flings kind.
By
Katee0_o
| 6
stop being such a baby and tell her the truth.
By
sharmainelightbo
| 0
Quit you're job. She'll get the point.