By 3lavyaa - United Kingdom

Good morning!

Today, I woke up and the sun was blinding me through my attic window. I have no blinds so I got a poster from my wall and stuck it to the wood on my window with nails. Turn's out I have woodrot, and my entire window fell out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33915

4756

Rock, hard place

Dangling modifier

The Summoner

By only child says fuck you mom - United States - Holly Springs

Today, I overheard my mom talking to a friend on the phone. What caught my attention was when she said: "You ever look at your kid and just think... 'Fuck. Where'd I go wrong?'" FML

I agree, your life sucks

22628

You deserved it

2418

Favorite

By Username - United States

Today, I realized the only reason I chose to lose weight is that I can never cross the crosswalk fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16192

You deserved it

34361

Favorite

By fucktheearth - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was sitting at my desk when out of nowhere I had a "silent sneeze attack". Someone in the office called the paramedics because they thought I was having a seizure. This is the third time this has happened this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21382

You deserved it

2025

Favorite

By Anony Mous - United States

Today, my boyfriend moved. I found out when I went over to surprise him with take-out food and he was pulling out of the driveway. He flipped me off as he drove past. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40669

You deserved it

4818

Favorite

By I'm donnnneeee - United States - Slidell

Today, I finished a 6-part project. It took me 7 hours of straight work because my partner decided I should do it alone. I then learned that the reason my partner did not help me was because the teacher e-mailed the leader of every group, saying the project was cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26483

You deserved it

2409

Favorite

By shampoogirl - United States

Today, I finally landed a new job, and thinking he would be proud, I told my boyfriend. Instead of congratulating me, he got mad that my work hours include Saturday, his laundry day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32001

You deserved it

4225

Favorite

By big mouth - New Zealand - Northland

Today, at work, I saw a van in our car park with "Hurlz Wagon" painted on its side. Laughing, I told the customer who owned it that I loved the name, and I asked was there a funny vomit story behind it. She didn't laugh, and told me it was her family name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19918

You deserved it

9144

Favorite

By notanightowlanymore - United States - Clyde

Today, my grandfather showed up at my house in a panic. He rushed over, with a gun, because I wasn't answering his texts and he thought something had happened to me. I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22223

You deserved it

2113

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By kidyounot - United States - Statesboro

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38485

You deserved it

4180

Favorite

By therevsev - United States

Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38437

You deserved it

5065

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my mother has been seeing my maths teacher. I'm still failing his class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31141

You deserved it

7867

Favorite

By jordeshting - United Kingdom

Today, I complimented a girl on her stockings pattern. Turns out she wasn't wearing stockings. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32636

You deserved it

8593

Favorite

By Plume - France

Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24556

You deserved it

2405

Favorite

By Rory - United States

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

77345

You deserved it

4791

Favorite

By igotpride - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61733

You deserved it

5357

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Springfield

Today, I told my boyfriend that it's time for him to stop blaming others and own up to his mistakes. He retorted, "Don't blame me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

32316

You deserved it

3824

Favorite

By Nate - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34660

You deserved it

59013

Favorite

By Jakeok - United States - Fraser

Today, I once again used my phone to get out of a conversation with someone, instead of actually talking to someone on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26353

You deserved it

7595

Favorite

By Anonymous - Greece

Today, I hired an exterminator to get the roaches out of the house I am renting. I came back from work and went to my bathroom, noticing that he used the plunger to unclog the toilet after he took a dump. After $150, there was shit all over my floor and plunger, and roaches still in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60584

You deserved it

3806

Favorite

By seussical65 - United States

Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20711

You deserved it

93349

Favorite

By Holls - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I met a guy while out with some friends. He kept blowing up his cheeks, so I did it back to him and asked him why he did it. He pulled out a card from his wallet and pointed at it. It was a card saying he may have speech or facial difficulties because he had a stroke when he was 12. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27766

You deserved it

14110

Favorite

By cjkelly1 - United States

Today, my parents made me a steak dinner to celebrate me visiting home from college. I've been a vegetarian for eleven years. This is the third time they've done this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38946

You deserved it

12392

Favorite

By snow - Australia

Today, I found my biological father, who I have never met, on facebook and decided to message him. He blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58731

You deserved it

6758

Favorite

By nick - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27197

You deserved it

5965

Favorite

By dumped - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? His best mate got dumped yesterday and my boyfriend thought it would be 'more fun' to be 'single lads together'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34280

You deserved it

3178

Favorite

By 3rdWheel1stBorn

Today, I saw that my biological father took his 2 favorite daughters on a luxury cruise to celebrate his birthday. I didn't find out until the pictures were posted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4557

You deserved it

246

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Kankakee

Today, I fell asleep in class. One minute I'm listening to a lecture, and twenty-five minutes later, I'm waking up screaming in agony in front of everyone after biting my tongue in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19706

You deserved it

11370

Favorite

By KillMeNow - United States - Houston

Today, my visiting mother-in-law announced she plans on moving to our state and living next door. When I said that's not going to happen, she chuckled and said, "It's happening, Kate." Kate is my husband's ex-girlfriend from 8 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5180

You deserved it

325

Favorite

By herpmonster - Italy

Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28076

You deserved it

1952

Favorite

By Ya - United States

Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55143

You deserved it

11576

Favorite

By hannax - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I was spending the night at my fiancé's house. He knew my period was about to start, so he asked if he needed to put a tarp down on the bed. He was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15238

You deserved it

1676

Favorite

By eyelashess - United States

Today, our carbon monoxide detector started beeping. My mom started freaking out and made me go stand outside so I "don't die". I stood outside for 20 minutes, it was raining and it turned out that the detector was just low on battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34120

You deserved it

4371

Favorite

By Bridget - Canada - Orangeville

Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64148

You deserved it

5729

Favorite

By wowzersthatsucks - United States

Today, I got a facebook relationship request from my crush of 2 and a half years. I was so excited until he posted on my wall, "Sorry wrong Catherine". FML

I agree, your life sucks

52188

You deserved it

5916

Favorite

By wildthing - United States

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

75367

You deserved it

7188

Favorite

By Scottrick - United States

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61012

You deserved it

15577

Favorite

By itsbeenalongday - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was taking a long, relaxing, hot bath with my girlfriend after a long day. She had fallen asleep in my arms and everything was perfect - until I noticed the water around us had started turning yellow as she pissed herself in her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31838

You deserved it

3031

Favorite

By hatty - United Kingdom

Today, I had my car valeted at my hotel. The manager came out, took my keys, and said the car would be waiting for me in an hour. I was then forced to watch from the lobby as the "manager" sped off downtown. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27811

You deserved it

6145

Favorite

Very frustrating

Today my Assistant Manager decided to pull a prank on me by walking up behind me and screaming my name. I screamed in terror and then swung around and punched him full force dead center in the chest right in front of my supervisor, manager, and several other employees. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2303

You deserved it

234

Favorite

By not a bitch just don’t like you - 10/3/2021 13:59 - United States

White knights

Today, once again, I told a guy who’s been hounding me for ages that I’m not interested. After being asked repeatedly and turning him down politely for so long, I finally snapped and cussed his ass out. Now I’m known as "the bitch" for hurting such a "nice guy's" feelings. I need new friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1359

You deserved it

121

Favorite

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Top comments

By teebonehead | 0

#608850 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:06

I guess you can by some blinds with your new window.

By sarahmarieee | 0

#609234 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 23:34

She deserves wood rot and having a hole in her wall because she used a nail rather than a thumb tack? Great logic.

COMMENTS

By superstephen4 | 5

#608838 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:02

wow. fyl

ryguy997 | 0

#977473 - Saturday 10 April 2010 22:22

why would you nail paper to the wall? ever heard of tape? LOGIC PEOPLE LOGIC!!

Nine001 | 0

#1664308 - Monday 8 November 2010 5:12

Did he/she ruin the poster or something?

123amanda123 | 14

#3491032 - Wednesday 26 October 2011 4:17

wow lol imagine that ..... that story made my day! :p

By teebonehead | 0

#608850 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:06

I guess you can by some blinds with your new window.

NewEngland | 0

#608864 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:11

ha yes. but it's buy

By cuteguyoO | 0

#608894 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:31

i would like to see dat happen

By RequiemCube | 0

#608913 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:44

Oh, there's the problem... you need one of those load-bearing posters.

By Ohnothingreally | 0

#608918 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:47

That just sucks.

By Azrael84_phd3 | 0

#608921 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:49

Wow, lmfao, funny.

By ananamoose | 0

#608926 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:52

maybe finally, you can try your ever strong dream of wanting to fly

By mcdworker | 0

#608932 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:56

wow. random.

By kremit | 1

#608967 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 21:15

hmm idk is it really necessary to nail a poster to the window frame? a thumbtack would have worked. YDI

sarahmarieee | 0

#609234 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 23:34

She deserves wood rot and having a hole in her wall because she used a nail rather than a thumb tack? Great logic.

kremit | 1

#610012 - Thursday 8 October 2009 7:11

thanks : )

By 9az00 | 0

#608999 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 21:35

bawhaha!! I wish I had that on video!