Today, I woke up and the sun was blinding me through my attic...

By 3lavyaa - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up and the sun was blinding me through my attic window. I have no blinds so I got a poster from my wall and stuck it to the wood on my window with nails. Turn's out I have woodrot, and my entire window fell out. FML

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33841

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Miscellaneous

Understandable

On the ball

Stress level: 2020

By anonymous - Australia - Mitcham

Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML

I agree, your life sucks

31581

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By anoymus - United States

Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63782

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3250

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By tnh - United States

Today, just like every other day, I was woken up 2 hours earlier than I needed to be, by the alarm belonging to my upstairs neighbors. They won't wake up until their real alarm goes off: me, pounding the walls and yelling in frustration. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28621

You deserved it

2268

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By a non e mouse - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I tried to unlock my house's front door by hitting the unlock button on my car keys. It took me some time to realize my mistake. FML

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19869

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By life// - Canada - Fort Mcmurray

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

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30562

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By Anonymous - Netherlands - Apeldoorn

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38477

You deserved it

7485

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By Anonymous - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44473

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4155

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By JadedBaker - United States

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39936

You deserved it

1978

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By thisshtissad

Travel away from the sadness

Today, I was thinking about how I saw Eric from That '70s Show at an airport and never said anything to him. I still regret it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1063

You deserved it

641

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By Jorgen - United States

Today, at my workplace, $200 checks were given to every employee for how well the corporation was doing. The temps didn't get any. Guess who was the only temp. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23710

You deserved it

2316

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By orely44 - France - Rez

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39561

You deserved it

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By Boo

Today, my boyfriend pulled the whole "whoops wrong hole" thing during rough sex. He broke up with me because he got poop on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4399

You deserved it

370

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By musicthief - United States - Finleyville

Today, I saw my music teacher, who I considered one of my role-models, on TV. Too bad it was because she'd robbed a church. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24136

You deserved it

1874

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By Anonymous - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Kingshill

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53123

You deserved it

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By Catscratch - United States

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46349

You deserved it

3230

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By Anonymous - Australia - Perth

Unforgettable

Today, it was my first day of work at my new job. I got dressed and arrived early, only to find out that the store had closed due to a power outage. Then I found out that the person who'd hired me had totally forgotten about hiring me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1818

You deserved it

104

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By asthmatic - United States

Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51163

You deserved it

8733

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By Millian2 - United States - Plymouth

Today, I learned that when you take off your sweatshirt, it can get stuck in your braces. I was in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24940

You deserved it

3691

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By paywithpoop - United States

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49916

You deserved it

3856

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By now have a cat - United States - Glenview

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47697

You deserved it

3944

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By Furry - United Kingdom

Today, I looked outside with a grimace at the very heavy rainfall through which I had to trudge a long way. I waited ten minutes for it to let up, only to find it was getting heavier. So, I started walking anyway. After getting soaked to the bone, I walked through my door, and it stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29206

You deserved it

3418

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By Anonymous

Today, my current boyfriend was so impressed by my blowjob abilities he sent my ex-boyfriend a message saying thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31866

You deserved it

6363

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By queenlatifa101bebe - United States

Today, my boyfriend left me for my neighbor. Her name is Hope. She'd better "hope" I don't take a dump in her yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30291

You deserved it

16419

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By Casper - United States

Today, a flight attendant asked me if I was airsick because I looked really pale. I told her that was my normal complexion but thanked her for her concern. She insisted "No, that can't be normal." FML

I agree, your life sucks

42054

You deserved it

2868

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By oooooopss - United States - Portland

Today, I got into my car and it wouldn't start. I noticed I had left the lights on and assumed the battery was dead. Then, I couldn't get my key out of the ignition. So, I called AAA only to have the guy put my car in park and start the engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7820

You deserved it

29364

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By sometingwong - United States

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60126

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States - New Orleans

Today, I was up late and heard my mother and her boyfriend come home. After a full minute of bed-creaking action, I heard him exclaim, "I did it! A new record, haha!" I can't get it out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23692

You deserved it

1863

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By pickit - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I brought to her attention a rather large zit on the corner of her mouth. She called me an insensitive prick. I only pointed it out because I didn't want other people to see it and make fun of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26189

You deserved it

20747

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By emancipate my ass

Today, I had to listen from the next room as my dad cheated on his girlfriend with his married boss. He's 57, looks like a troll, and doesn't smell much better than one either. Meanwhile I'm 24 and couldn't get laid, much less get a date, if my life depended on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16596

You deserved it

1545

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By GamerAM

Today, after over a week of trying to get a hold of my doctor for a much-needed medication refill, he finally called back. Too bad my phone got unplugged and died in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1393

You deserved it

214

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By alone - United States

Today, I committed to babysitting on Valentine's Day not because I needed the money, but because I just got dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27924

You deserved it

2767

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By nosexforthee - United States - Katy

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43492

You deserved it

7926

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33088

You deserved it

4942

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By Ew-dles

Today, I was finishing a bowl of ramen while watching a video. As I scooped up the last bits, I realized the clump of seasoning I had been saving for last was actually a dead fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3347

You deserved it

598

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By lalala - United Kingdom

Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38759

You deserved it

3679

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By Wrongtoilet - Singapore

Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35750

You deserved it

5439

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By Anonymous - Canada - Calgary

Today, at the hairdresser's, I fell asleep while my hair was being washed. My barber had to shake me awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5054

You deserved it

1045

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46992

You deserved it

13408

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By me - United States - Peabody

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34224

You deserved it

3289

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By too eager - Australia - Hurstville

Today, I had a date with an amazing girl so in the shower I wanted to make sure I was extra clean. With the soaped up shower puff in hand I tried to get as much of my back as I could which led to me pushing too far and dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14902

Phew, glad it wasn't me

2934

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Top comments

By teebonehead | 0

#608850 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:06

I guess you can by some blinds with your new window.

By sarahmarieee | 0

#609234 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 23:34

She deserves wood rot and having a hole in her wall because she used a nail rather than a thumb tack? Great logic.

COMMENTS

By superstephen4 | 5

#608838 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:02

wow. fyl

ryguy997 | 0

#977473 - Saturday 10 April 2010 22:22

why would you nail paper to the wall? ever heard of tape? LOGIC PEOPLE LOGIC!!

Nine001 | 0

#1664308 - Monday 8 November 2010 5:12

Did he/she ruin the poster or something?

123amanda123 | 14

#3491032 - Wednesday 26 October 2011 4:17

wow lol imagine that ..... that story made my day! :p

By teebonehead | 0

#608850 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:06

I guess you can by some blinds with your new window.

NewEngland | 0

#608864 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:11

ha yes. but it's buy

By cuteguyoO | 0

#608894 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:31

i would like to see dat happen

By RequiemCube | 0

#608913 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:44

Oh, there's the problem... you need one of those load-bearing posters.

By Ohnothingreally | 0

#608918 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:47

That just sucks.

By Azrael84_phd3 | 0

#608921 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:49

Wow, lmfao, funny.

By ananamoose | 0

#608926 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:52

maybe finally, you can try your ever strong dream of wanting to fly

By mcdworker | 0

#608932 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 20:56

wow. random.

By kremit | 1

#608967 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 21:15

hmm idk is it really necessary to nail a poster to the window frame? a thumbtack would have worked. YDI

sarahmarieee | 0

#609234 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 23:34

She deserves wood rot and having a hole in her wall because she used a nail rather than a thumb tack? Great logic.

kremit | 1

#610012 - Thursday 8 October 2009 7:11

thanks : )

By 9az00 | 0

#608999 - Wednesday 7 October 2009 21:35

bawhaha!! I wish I had that on video!