Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML
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By
Pilkipedia
| 8
This relationship smells like a success.
By
nycwrestler
| 17
He's lying! Girls don't fart!
COMMENTS
By
Pilkipedia
| 8
This relationship smells like a success.
Reply
Catkam623
| 27
No their love is so strong that you simply can't bear to be in the same room.
Reply
kakarot2
| 11
Better out then in, I always say!!
Reply
ScaughtieHolden
| 11
Are you Shrek?
Reply
zebraumicornz
| 6
At least he didn't say you sharted alot.:)
Reply
ThePsyche
| 9
But hey, if he's still with you he's a keeper :)
Reply
poccocurantes
| 7
Nothin says lovin, like a good Dutch oven.
Reply
PenguinBitch
| 43
I bet they blew each other away when they first met.
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
OP must really blow the wind up her boyfriend's sails.
Reply
Jorcar
| 8
Just stop farting around with these jokes... Ok, that was a fail, butt seriously.
Reply
jokinghazard
| 3
hahahaha oh god that was funnier than the FML, which was pretty funny
By
ICastillo
| 24
When you have to go, you have to go.
Reply
SakataGintoki
| 9
Come on now; it's not like she shit the bed.
Reply
asb818
| 14
Or peed after orgasming.
Reply
ICastillo
| 24
I was just saying when you have to fart just let them go . Why hold them in?
Reply
sparkrok
| 8
Better to let it out and bear the shame, than hold it in and bear the pain...
Reply
His_Holiness
| 18
Better in than out I always say
Reply
WcED
| 8
Better in than out? well you should GTFO with that BS.
Reply
onlychildFTW
| 33
I was with a girl that always peed after she orgasmed. She couldn't help it. It was gross but she was really hot.
Reply
lil_ham1644
| 29
That's disgusting 110
By
motor_fml
| 20
Keep smiling.
Reply
wlddog
| 14
I wonder if he tried to light any of them.
By
zombieslayer83
| 19
I guess he fu¢#ed the shit out of you!
Reply
nycwrestler
| 17
You can say shit but not fuck?
Reply
cliffibom
| 15
F**k, holy shit i got sensored too!
Reply
False_Stupidity
| 41
Regardless, this FML has nothing to do with shit, she farted, there's a difference.
Reply
poccocurantes
| 7
But we don't know if it was a wet one.
Reply
dwc2134
| 5
Maybe he was just joking or poking fun at the fact she did? Kinda sounds like something I'd do with a girl I was comfortable enough with. Never seriously, such as "What the fuck you doing farting so much, bitch?" but "You know... you fart a lot in your sleep lovey..."...
Just playing the devils advocate here.
Just playing the devils advocate here.
Reply
zandalee
| 19
I agree totally. How rude and mean to make the first thing out of his mouth such a put down. Should have said something lovely and sweet.
By
Valiumknights44
| 12
And they said romance is dead...or maybe they just wished it....
Reply
Onmyzephyr
| 5
This time it was actually sent to the gas chamber.
Reply
Werken247
| 14
Or it just smells dead.
Reply
Valiumknights44
| 12
How gastly, no one gets my Buffy reference.
By
maz95
| 17
That sounds like a romantic first night!
By
nycwrestler
| 17
He's lying! Girls don't fart!
Reply
ICastillo
| 24
Na man they busted that myth on Myth Busters. It's true they do fart and even poop too.
Reply
aFreedom127
| 9
Next your gonna tell me we urinate too!!!
Reply
DanielleinDC
| 32
We also sweat, and we also burp. Sorry to disappoint you.
Reply
Werken247
| 14
@27 I heard they only urinate when fucked with a full bladder. Still not sure I buy the bit about females shitting... think that's just pushing the limits of reality.
Reply
jtthegr8
| 26
They do queef though..
Reply
ICastillo
| 24
#36 it's true they poop. The Myth Busters don't lie. You can't lie on television, it's illegal.
Reply
N3766
| 20
So all my life is a lie...
Reply
senor_awesome
| 14
Wait, so do guys have emotions also?!
Reply
SRU_Toronto
| 5
nothing disappointing about that xD
Reply
ICastillo
| 24
Haha no #93 now that was a funny comment. "Do guys have emotions?"...man that's classic.
Reply
gregnc_fml
| 18
That's right, girls toot!
By
ladylilly25
| 20
Now, did they wake him up or was he just taking forever to fall asleep? I rather think the former would be much worse. Either way, that's embarrassing! He shouldn't have said anything. :/
By
perdix
| 29
"Nah, it was just queefing!"
That should make it better.
That should make it better.
By
micahdunk
| 13
"Better out then in I always say!" -Shrek
Reply
CaptainSaveAHoe
| 11
its than*. the way you used then made it seem like shrek was convincing fiona to have sex with him.
Reply
micahdunk
| 13
Whoops. Didn't catch that one. Sorry.