By tulisa - 21/02/2015 04:25 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 312
You deserved it 4 434

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Cats are assholes

Rawrshi 25

They might have thought you were staring at it because you were hungry but too stupid to catch it yourself. :D

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That would be one dead cat.

Rawrshi 25

They might have thought you were staring at it because you were hungry but too stupid to catch it yourself. :D

My kitty has killed many things and brought them to me. It's love. I wonder if the OP's cat brought the OP the baby bird.

Rawrshi 25

My cat has brought me several live bats, lizards, birds, and a couple of rats. Usually it's dead things left in easy-to-step-on-in-the-dark places though. Like, stop you adorably floof covered murder ball. I don't want and am, quite franky, disgusted by your dead things.

Thats probably why witches used black cats. Crawling through the woods at night looking for small animals to use in their dark magic must have been hard on the older witches especially. Cats were the logical choice as they do the hard work for you.

Its happened to many squirrels in my yard. Now they're there, and poof! Little kitty ate 'em. I hate cats :/

Cats are assholes

If cats are assholes then that means... everyone has a cat!

14: actually that's not right. All cats are assholes but not all assholes are cats.

Survival of the fittest, I suppose

actually human domestication and overbreeding of cats combined with protection from any form of selection pressure means that this isn't totally applicable. cats are acting as an invasive species and are devastating song bird populations in the United States and it is actually very detrimental to the ecosystem.

I laughed at this, am I going to hell now?

Yup, I'll see you there.

I thought I saw a pussy cat

Man, Tweety didn't speak perfect english. *facepalm* Get it right.

I tawd I taw a puddy tat!

I'm sorry, but I laughed REALLY hard at this!

Me too. I imagined the cat thinking "I wish I could catch that bird..." and then hearing OP's "you can do it" like it was directed at him, and that's where he got the motivation to kill the bird :p It's your fault, OP!

Get a dog to eat the cat

Your cat was just trying to be friendly...in a different way.

Get an exorcist ASAP

Yea that didn't make any sense at all.

It's a joke :/ not meant to be taken seriously.

32: bruh it has to make sense tho.

Maybe, just maybe (and this is a stretch) she was talking about how OP can subconsciously use the Devil to mind-control animals to do her murderous bidding.

@feven, jokes are relevant and funny. Your comment was neither.