By Anonymous - United States - Erie
Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML
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  alfalfalaffa  |  17

I will not stop. While I can't say the same for those who hear it, telling puns gives me a 100% satisfaction rate. Saying a great pun with good timing is fulfilling in and of itself, but saying a crummy pun is equally satisfying. The way some people twist and turn as if their are in a state of extreme psychological anguish is very gratifying.