Love: Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile....

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile. When I called my boyfriend of 2 years (whom I was hoping to have a future with) to talk to him about it, all he said was "So does this mean I don't have to wear a condom anymore?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 773

You deserved it 7 327

Love

Vulture

Love is blind

Stuck together

Dingdong

By SF49 - 16/01/2013 18:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 806

You deserved it 3 738

By Octobre - 07/03/2010 01:17 - United States

Today, I was massively hungover and driving home. I had a strong suspicion that I was gonna ralph so I was smart and pulled over. I emptied the contents of my stomach into a shopping bag and was proud I didn't make a mess all over the car. Seconds later, the bottom of the bag gave out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 571

You deserved it 27 976

By baddoggy - 17/10/2010 08:13 - United States

Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 085

You deserved it 23 538

By Nominome - 07/02/2010 00:31 - France

Today, I was in the check-out line when I noticed the guy behind me kept impatiently sighing. Thinking he was a jerk, I took as long as I could packaging my items. Turns out he left his oxygen tank in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 937

You deserved it 44 084

By Gigi - 05/09/2012 04:29 - United States

Today, my crush asked to use my phone so he could Google something. Flattered that he wanted to use my phone, I agreed. After he was done, he handed it back with a weird look. I later realized he had found himself in my top searches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 608

You deserved it 30 628

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 23:39 - United States - Erie

Today, while doing some spring cleaning, I found the remains of my goldfish, which I was sure my cat ate last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 557

You deserved it 6 462

By Anonymous - 25/12/2009 08:14 - Canada

Today, I found out my ex got invited to our Christmas Party. I also found out that she got much more presents and money from my family than I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 347

You deserved it 2 960

Bad women's anatomy

By Anonymous - 07/07/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend noticed dark lines that look like scars on my inner thighs. He confronted me about them, thinking I was cutting myself, and now wants me to see a therapist because he thinks I'm suicidal. They're stretch marks. He won't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 71

By Anonymous - 23/07/2014 20:00 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 027

You deserved it 13 928

By Anonymous - 17/10/2011 22:54 - United States

Today, while leaving a football game, I saw a half-empty bottle of Mountain Dew on the ground. It was night-time and there weren't many people around, so for a laugh, I picked it up and tossed it behind me as hard as I could. It hit someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 316

You deserved it 53 852

And yet you have phone? Curious Andy

By Nostalgia - 08/09/2021 20:01

Today, I packed up to get ready to move to my boyfriend’s. I just graduated high school and I don’t get along with his mom, but I have no other choice of living. I was supposed to move in with his family tomorrow but now his mom won’t let me. It was last minute, and I’m basically homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 242

By Divorcemenow - 17/07/2009 22:02 - United States

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 545

You deserved it 6 948

By Robert - 27/12/2017 15:00

Today, a judge ruled against me. I filed for divorce because my wife got pregnant even though I had a vasectomy. Apparently, not informing your spouse of a vasectomy is worse than cheating in the eyes of the court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 830

You deserved it 1 319

By Kylee Day - 27/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for a second time. Then when I was getting dressed with him sitting there next to me, there was a silence. He thought to fill it, he'd grab my hand and fist-bump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 421

You deserved it 365

By disgusted - 23/02/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 390

You deserved it 3 659

First Dates

By mildver - 20/04/2009 04:51 - Costa Rica

Today, I went to a date with a girl I thought liked me. We sat down at a restaurant, ordered some food and started talking. After 30 minutes, she said with a sigh of relief, "THANK GOD! There's my dad. Now I can leave. Bye, thanks for the dinner." The food hadn't even arrived yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 361

You deserved it 4 564

By Anonymous - 06/07/2009 20:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to talk. She just got back from a small vacation. She asked me to feed her dogs while she was gone, so I did. I even stayed with them at times so they wouldnt get lonely. My girlfriend had come over to break up with me. She didn't do so earlier because she needed her dogs fed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 898

You deserved it 3 215

By Anonymous - 19/04/2011 03:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I was putting red nail polish on my nails and put a newspaper on the table to make sure that it didn't spill. I later discovered the nail polish made the newspaper stick to the table. I scrubbed nail polish remover on it, thinking it would help but instead bleached the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 010

You deserved it 40 269

By Anonymous - 15/02/2010 14:22 - United States

Today, I took my best friend to an 80's party. She drank too much and ended up puking all over the interior and exterior of my car as well as inside my right legwarmer on the 30 mile trip back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 004

You deserved it 4 630

By LadyNexus - 07/01/2015 03:54 - United States - Mohrsville

Today, I asked my boyfriend how he felt about me and he said, "You're the hottest seven I've ever met." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 136

You deserved it 4 262

By Serum - 05/08/2013 16:41 - United States - Wichita

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 538

You deserved it 5 507

By chubbyg - 20/09/2014 12:23 - Australia - Clarinda

Today, my boyfriend asked me when I was going to shave my arms now that summer is coming in Australia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 273

You deserved it 6 439

By FML - 21/12/2013 16:58 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 156

You deserved it 3 633

By Anonymous - 16/01/2010 16:44 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my amazing boyfriend. As we were getting dressed, I realized I had lost my bra. After intense searching I finally found it and put it on. It wasn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 651

You deserved it 4 189

By Anonymous - 03/03/2014 16:30

Today, my roommate pranked me by putting blue food coloring in the shower head. I have class in 20 minutes and look like a smurf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 765

You deserved it 4 046

By lalala_hahaha - 23/09/2010 23:18 - France

Today, I had some girlfriends over, while my parents were having a party at our house. My drunken dad decided to come down to the basement and show us all his third nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 852

You deserved it 3 045

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 15:40 - United States

Today, I finally felt the effects of a laxative that I took last night. This morning, when I was in the dentist's chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 428

You deserved it 6 904

By Anonymous - 22/04/2009 00:17 - Canada

Today, I lost my $100 in cash that I had to use to pay my phone bill. As a result, my phone got cut off and I miss an important call for an apartment that I was looking at. When I went to work I heard my boss saying how lucky she was to find $100 in cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 986

You deserved it 5 916

By offbeans - 17/02/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 266 983

You deserved it 90 643

Relationship goals

By Anonymous - 17/05/2015 05:10 - United States

Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 423

You deserved it 2 682

By Anonymous - 26/07/2014 02:06 - United States - Deatsville

Today, I have really painful pimples on my upper lip. I'm a professional trombonist, and every note causes excruciating pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 444

You deserved it 5 179

By Anonymous - 17/07/2012 16:20 - United States - Palmdale

Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 081

You deserved it 9 592

By bastardddd - 11/04/2009 01:47 - United States

Today, I was in class finishing up an assignment when the guy next to me, my crush, said "I really love your hair." I started to blush then I turned towards him and said thanks, at the same time as the girl he was actually talking to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 371

You deserved it 6 363

By confusedphotographer - 19/04/2009 18:09 - United States

Today, I was fixing some photos for a client. I spent 20 minutes trying to Photoshop an unusual black dot out of a picture. Only then did I discover it was a black dot on my computer screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 836

You deserved it 64 109

By Creepster - 13/01/2010 06:31 - United States

Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 574

You deserved it 50 829

By hold your horses pony boy - 18/04/2014 18:24 - United States

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 151

You deserved it 13 663

By Aled - 17/02/2011 16:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 771

You deserved it 3 313

By Anonymous - 26/11/2010 14:22 - United States

Today, it's Black Friday. I got sucker-punched by some woman over a ten dollar griddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 071

You deserved it 6 125

By Oraashi - 26/06/2012 17:18 - United Kingdom - Stoke-on-trent

Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I've been in love with for three years. Her response was to well up, start crying, and ask me why I had to have chosen her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 184

You deserved it 2 867

By HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE - 09/12/2012 21:52 - United Kingdom - Dagenham

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 399

You deserved it 7 760

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Jaywin 3

Send a private message

Saturday 18 April 2009 1:59

He was pretty insensitive if he knew you wanted to have kids. Although the no condom thing is good news.

Jem0_0 0

Send a private message

Saturday 18 April 2009 2:02

He's just looking on the positive side

cchamp27 0

Send a private message

Saturday 18 April 2009 1:58

wonderful

coming back in the future 30

Send a private message

Saturday 18 October 2014 2:39

OP I dont think you are ovary acting.

designedlikedice 0

Send a private message

Saturday 18 April 2009 1:58

I don't see how this is an FML.

Jaywin 3

Send a private message

Saturday 18 April 2009 1:59

He was pretty insensitive if he knew you wanted to have kids. Although the no condom thing is good news.

lennelleong 33

Send a private message

Sunday 7 July 2013 7:16

Sadly speaking, there are still STDs, cheaters and opportunities - you know....

mylifeisFML56 0

Send a private message

Saturday 18 April 2009 1:59

I am so sorry for the bad news, about the fertility and that your boyfriend of to years is an insensitive jerk... AND still have people wear condoms, the last thing you want is an STD, such as HIV

Bizzytrick 0

Send a private message

Monday 26 October 2009 2:47

Well, if neither of them has an STD and they're 100% loyal to each other, there is no chance of them getting an STD anyway. Only way one of them would get an STD is if one of them has sex with someone who had an STD then went and had sex with eachother

bored690 0

Send a private message

Thursday 19 November 2009 14:58

um unless they have an open relationship how are they going to get HIV or an STD?

cradle6 13

Send a private message

Sunday 17 July 2011 0:24

If one cheats...

jaystreet46 4

Send a private message

Wednesday 16 May 2012 18:30

I'm sorry, but if my gf is infertile I am def not wearing condoms. But I'm clean, and faithful, as is she.

UltimateBob 11

Send a private message

Wednesday 30 November 2016 21:55

If one of them helps a bleeding person and the blood gets in a small cut or somehow their mouth one of them can get an std. it's unlikely but still

jjjeah 0

Send a private message

Saturday 18 April 2009 2:00

Yeah that is rather insensitive. Guys just don't understand how much that can actually hurt though. What's wrong, may I ask?

milesthominggale 0

Send a private message

Saturday 18 April 2009 2:00

Haha #2 out are stupid and should feel stupid. epic fail for writing FIRST in the first place, but on top of that, NOT BEING FIRST.

anormalperson 25

Send a private message

Sunday 17 August 2014 21:14

um...#2 didn't write "first", he wrote "wonderful".

lost4nao 0

Send a private message

Saturday 18 April 2009 2:00

well either he's insensitive or trying to make you feel better?

Jem0_0 0

Send a private message

Saturday 18 April 2009 2:02

He's just looking on the positive side

nuga 0

Send a private message

Saturday 18 April 2009 2:02

I can see how being infertile in itself is an FML but this scenario the OP described doesn't sound like one; she wants "a future" with this guy and it doesn't sound like he's gonna dump her for being infertile...

writergirl23 19

Send a private message

Saturday 18 February 2012 5:05

I know exactly what you mean. And us girls (yes speaking from a womans point of view here) need to remember that as much as we are emotional thinkers, men are logical thinkers. Which means that, essentially, if op actually knew her boyfriend, she would have expected an answer like that and still know that he loves her with all his heart.

marcranger 28

Send a private message

Sunday 2 December 2012 1:58

^ Generalizing much?

Joisan 20

Send a private message

Monday 24 March 2014 20:05

I think she was hoping that they could have a serious conversation about her infertility and where they want to go from here. It does seem like her boyfriend is ok with it, which is good, but it's a subject that deserves to be considered with more depth and respect than just "Oh yay, no condoms!" Depending on the exact cause of her infertility there are a few different options they can pursue if being parents is important enough to them, but it is often difficult and expensive, and they should make sure they're on the same page before they go through with an engagement or a wedding.

RebeccaRFT 18

Send a private message

Monday 18 January 2016 3:10

#226 that's not generalization, it's science. According to actual SCIENCE, men and women think differently. And it's scientifically correct to say that WOMEN are the emotional thinkers.