Love: Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long distance boyfriend....

By Anonymous - 02/07/2012 15:45 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 763

You deserved it 14 233

Love

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

Another great day to be alive

Trans women are women

By ilovefootball - 07/09/2009 19:21 - United States

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 177

You deserved it 78 054

Taking the piss

By allie - 31/05/2021 22:01

Today, my mom forced me to take a drug test while she watched. I couldn’t do it due to nerves, so she grounded me because, "there's no way I would be nervous unless I was doing drugs." Nope, just a shy bladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 88

By Anonymous - 22/10/2018 13:30

Today, my manager told my shift that if we didn't have the quota filled for cinnamon rolls by tonight, we were all out of a job. One of the machines we use to wrap cinnamon rolls just started acting up. We also aren't allowed to take over time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 823

You deserved it 154

Framed

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 04:00

Today, the police turned up. It turns out the girl I slept with two nights ago was burgled. She told my great aunt, who happens to live next door to her. They then told my grandparents, who then told my mum. I'm now a suspect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 643

You deserved it 156

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 561

You deserved it 749

By forever dog-less - 22/12/2018 04:00

Today, my mom told me to go meet a rescue dog. After doing all my research and emailing shelters left and right, I finally got a call. It went well! Then, my mom told me it would never happen. I'm still expecting several emails from the shelters I contacted, so I get to relive this pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 199

You deserved it 181

By mikep - 02/02/2009 03:22 - Netherlands

Today, I asked my mother if she thought my cat was getting fat. She replied "It's not the cat you should worry about". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 257

You deserved it 5 570

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 03:57 - United States

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 645

You deserved it 5 766

By Alex - 26/03/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 169

You deserved it 76 699

By kingmetal42 - 09/02/2010 19:10 - France

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 956

You deserved it 27 807

By maisumepg - 17/02/2019 04:00

Today, it’s the third month of my diet. Every dream I’ve had since I started has been entirely about junk food. Every. Single. One. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 039

You deserved it 280

By Sad_Happy_Gorl - 15/11/2018 22:00

Today, my boyfriend finally answered my Snapchats. He was laying on a bed with purple pillows and sheets. His are gray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 882

You deserved it 229

By tiredofcrazy - 18/03/2014 09:14 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 716

You deserved it 7 474

By shit - 13/05/2010 21:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally rear-ended an undercover police car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 927

You deserved it 13 728

By HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE - 09/12/2012 21:52 - United Kingdom - Dagenham

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 399

You deserved it 7 760

Boredom

By Anonymous - 03/07/2020 14:02

Today, I'm so bored during quarantine that I'm looking forward to the virtual doctor's appointment I made for next week, about the potential erectile dysfunction I might have. I'm also 22 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 180

By Noname - 07/02/2009 20:42 - United States

Today, my mom was telling me a funny story about when I was young. So I said 'yeah I was funny huh?' She replied 'Yep, I had a funny one and a pretty one'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 497

You deserved it 2 628

By mizzy - 19/11/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, my four year old got mad that he couldn't find his favorite character on the Wii. So, he decided to smash the Wii remote into my $700 LCD TV, shattering the screen. That was the only TV in the house, and the $80 service plan I bought doesn't cover accidental damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 295

You deserved it 8 735

By lk26 - 08/02/2009 05:32 - United States

Today, I went to my car to discover a note on the windshield from the city telling me that they had hit my car. On top of that note was a parking ticket, also from the city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 515

You deserved it 2 909

By Anonymous - 27/09/2015 12:21 - Australia

Today, I got detention from my teacher for not handing an assignment in. It would be understandable if I hadn't handed it in a week before it was due. She won't listen to reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 286

You deserved it 1 835

By manymisfortunes - 04/10/2014 05:43 - Canada - Lachine

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, and I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managed to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 944

You deserved it 12 385

By Grad2010 - 18/11/2009 19:41 - United States

Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 873

You deserved it 3 129

By blink_kid - 10/08/2012 12:57 - United Kingdom - Bathgate

Today, my boyfriend, who lives 100 miles away and whom I haven't seen in 2 months, told me he was visiting my city with some friends. I assumed this was an opening to an invitation, but no, he just asked me about the best places to get drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 612

You deserved it 3 219

By Anonymous - 28/05/2010 23:51 - United States

Today, I went out to eat to celebrate getting over the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten solid food in over a week, so I was really excited and ordered my favorite dish. It gave me food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 812

You deserved it 4 760

By caught out - 26/04/2014 23:29 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 618

You deserved it 7 378

By Pokerking98 - 16/05/2009 18:44 - United States

Today, while biking, I got into a major crash with two cars. The cars were parked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 251

You deserved it 56 619

By Whyis Dremora - 30/09/2018 15:00 - United States - San Marcos

Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 754

You deserved it 273

By Loveless - 05/06/2011 12:23 - Canada

Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 393

You deserved it 8 173

By thatgirl - 18/06/2016 21:19 - Canada - Richmond

Today, my boyfriend took me to get the abortion that we both agreed on. He was being so supportive through the whole thing. When it was all over I thanked him for coming. He replied, "Well that's what got us here in the first place!" He's still mad he can't tell anyone his joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 617

You deserved it 4 809

By Jibber96 - 14/11/2015 13:31 - Norway - Oslo

Today, I was walking with a friend to tell him how excited I was for college and even motivating him to apply for the same school, until I found out later that I got rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 065

You deserved it 2 439

By Anonymous - 01/06/2009 01:15 - United States

Today, my grandfather kept on asking me questions about my girlfriend and was obviously proud of the things he remembered about her. The only thing he couldn't remember is that we broke up. I had to talk with him about our 'great relationship' for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 134

You deserved it 4 035

By DC - 08/02/2009 12:37 - United States

Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 605

You deserved it 8 592

Let 'em in

By Muhd Hazrie - 05/08/2021 18:01

Today, my family decided that we should have our breakfast at a hawker centre, so I passed my house key to my sister as she carries a bag with her. After our meal, she said she was meeting her friend, so we went back home instead, only to realize that the door was locked and my sister had the key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 721

By Anonymous - 11/03/2016 12:20 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I forgot my phone on the roof of my car. I took a 30 minute drive from my friend's city to my city. I got on to my driveway, surprised to see my phone still there. Thinking I'm really lucky, I pick up my phone. Then, I trip over a pebble, cracking my phone in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 854

You deserved it 4 311

By Anonymous - 05/09/2015 03:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a phone I bought online turned up while I was at work. The delivery guy left a note saying he'd left the package with my neighbor at #10. When I went and knocked on the door and asked for the package, my neighbor said "Nope, nothing delivered here." and quickly shut the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 937

You deserved it 1 976

By Loved - 25/05/2019 16:15

Today, my boyfriend bought me an engagement ring. It turned out to be the wrong size and we had to return it, since the store said it couldn't be re-sized. As we headed home, I felt guilty, so I turned to him and apologized. His response? "It's OK honey, I didn't really want to marry you that much anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 526

You deserved it 169

By apparantlyStupid - 27/06/2012 23:28 - Canada - Okotoks

Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 300

You deserved it 43 419

By Mary - 05/03/2019 18:00

Today, I tried to go down the stairs two steps at a time. I slipped, fell flat on my ass, and busted my lower lip against my overbite. When I tried to get up, I realized I had also peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 998

You deserved it 1 352

By Stupendous_ - 03/12/2012 07:17 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, while visiting my widowed great aunt, she took out her wedding rings and talked about the love she and my uncle had. Smiling, I told her that one day I hope to have as happy a marriage as theirs. Her response? "Knowing you, I wouldn't count on it." My mother sat there agreeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 378

You deserved it 2 532

By MariadelMar - 19/08/2009 15:03 - United States

Today, I flew 8 hours to visit my boyfriend. When I arrived at the airport, and he started taking long to show up, I checked my email to see the info. I hit the junk mail by accident and found his last 10 emails in there. He had broken up with me a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 553

You deserved it 16 216

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Top comments

allyrn13 12

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Monday 2 July 2012 18:56

Double check your calendar next time.

nanny1010 12

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Monday 2 July 2012 18:59

At least he knows you are really excited to see him :-)

allyrn13 12

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Monday 2 July 2012 18:56

Double check your calendar next time.

Qandol 26

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Monday 2 July 2012 19:07

Sometimes we do forget things, such as date, time, when we are in excitement mood. So thats what may happened to OP.

beanybabe 13

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Monday 2 July 2012 19:09

hahaha aw op you must be gutted but hey, only 7 more days to wait

xcarxcrashx 9

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Monday 2 July 2012 19:10

Unless it was in the calendar wrong which is how she wound up early. I've done that before.

doctorhook86 24

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Monday 2 July 2012 19:25

If your calendar is wrong, it's an honest mistake... but still your own fault.

FurryPride 9

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Monday 2 July 2012 22:29

Watch it be some creep.

shift_love 13

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Monday 2 July 2012 22:37

At least you weren't a week late

bertman21 5

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Monday 2 July 2012 23:14

Hey could have been worse he could have gotten off the plane with his new girlfriend

xXxIracebethxXx 14

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Monday 2 July 2012 23:29

#87 - That's exactly where I thought this FML was headed. :P

iLOLatURpain69 7

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Tuesday 3 July 2012 1:18

You wouldn't check with him to find if he was leaving? YDI, for being stupid. Shouldn't be that hard to figure out what day the plane lands.

THE_A_TEEN 27

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Tuesday 3 July 2012 7:00

Geez, calm down. She was eager to see her Long Distance boyfriend, not legally stupid as hell. Mistakes happen.

eoko 12

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Monday 2 July 2012 18:59

Oops.

SqueakyChipmunk 20

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Monday 2 July 2012 21:25

I did it again.

allard 14

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Monday 2 July 2012 22:51

You played with my heart.

hockeyoceancity 13

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Monday 2 July 2012 23:07

I shaved my head!

PeeblesWiggins 0

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Monday 2 July 2012 23:54

I shrunk the kids again!

SqueakyChipmunk 20

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Monday 2 July 2012 23:56

You killed it. Damn you.

hecallsmedarlin 7

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Tuesday 3 July 2012 1:50

Oh baby, baby..

stephan18 23

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Monday 2 July 2012 18:59

Stuff happens, no big deal, the wait will be worth it I bet.

onlychildFTW 33

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Monday 2 July 2012 22:14

Waiting is normally the most exciting part because you know it'll be awesome when it finally happens.

Rommel1942 9

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Tuesday 3 July 2012 0:13

Ya, I'm in a long distance relationship too. Seeing my gf in december. Haven't seen her besides Skype in 1.5 years. So stoked for it, it's totally worth the wait

brownov6969 4

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Tuesday 3 July 2012 0:59

Fucking pussy

brownov6969 4

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Tuesday 3 July 2012 1:02

Soft as baby shit you pussy

SOD_sonofdixie 5

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Wednesday 4 July 2012 16:56

Yea I've been dating a girl for 8 months and I'm about to move so were about to have to go through all this so say a prayer for us please.

nanny1010 12

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Monday 2 July 2012 18:59

At least he knows you are really excited to see him :-)

nanny1010 12

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Monday 2 July 2012 21:36

Agreed! I would have been talking with him before hand to confirm, but I guess she was just so excited she didn't think about it. I've done stuff like this too though. It happens to the best of us.

daminantion 14

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Monday 2 July 2012 22:56

I wasn't aware people can use cell phones when on an airplane, I thought Airplane mode was made for such occasions.. Lest I'm over thinking it

MustangGirl72 9

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Tuesday 3 July 2012 1:16

83: you can text and call before you get on the plane

MDTeddy 13

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Tuesday 3 July 2012 5:53

And so can Op.

MrRayBans 8

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Monday 2 July 2012 19:01

Next time double check your email so you don't waste your time. Time=money. So technically you wasted money as well.

stephan18 23

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Monday 2 July 2012 19:02

What's money got to do with her being there for her boyfriend?..! If she went to pick him up, she probably wasn't working and had free time.

ydi_4_suking 20

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Monday 2 July 2012 19:27

The only thing I can get from the money thing is wasted gasoline. But no that comment didn't really make sense

MidnaLink 33

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Monday 2 July 2012 19:53

22 thats the same thought I had

CyborgBanana 12

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Monday 2 July 2012 20:11

We also don't capitalize the first letter of every word in a sentence in the 21st century. Welcome.

mishaparis 7

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Monday 2 July 2012 20:33

How is that a habit? Isn't it annoying to press shift every word you write?

dav3800 7

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Monday 2 July 2012 19:01

Well... being early is a good thing in life.

TarieBoo 2

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Monday 2 July 2012 21:19

gosh...i dont know what it is...but a sex joke can be made out of that^ comment

GuessWhatKids 13

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Tuesday 3 July 2012 5:15

Having a child early isn't a good thing... Busting a nut a minute in isn't a good thing... Dying early isn't a good thing... Your comment doesn't make sense.