Miscellaneous: Today, I went to see a hockey game. The announcer asked if anybody...

By anon - 27/04/2016 16:13 - Canada - Vaudreuil

Today, I went to see a hockey game. The announcer asked if anybody found a ring in the stands, because a girl lost hers. While he talked about it, I realised that I forgot mine in my pocket, so I took MY ring and put it on my finger. A guy saw me and thought I stole the lost one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 868

You deserved it 2 162

Miscellaneous

Good kid

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Tasty

By And you think I'M crazy? - 22/04/2013 05:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument. Naturally, I drove over to my best friend's house for comfort. My boyfriend saw me driving past his house and promptly broke up with me for being "a psycho stalker." She lives across the street from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 975

You deserved it 6 257

By Anonymous - 23/05/2011 07:25 - United States

Today, the guy I have loved for seven years asked me to move in with him. Turns out he only did so because he needed someone to pay the rent since he's quit his job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 982

You deserved it 4 921

By TukTuk - 27/10/2014 21:18 - Germany - Weinb?hla

Today, I spent an hour painstakingly disassembling my antique mirror after discovering a stack of papers behind the back board. I finally got hold of one corner, and pulled out - a newspaper from 2007 and instructions for an IKEA bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 139

You deserved it 5 034

By WishIWasAWriter - 08/09/2011 18:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 310

You deserved it 3 315

By _RobotInDisguise - 09/12/2009 23:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I received a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 729

You deserved it 2 936

By look how totally not racist I am! - 11/07/2014 03:32 - United States - Salida

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 013

You deserved it 3 985

Weird romance

By Mike - 10/06/2021 08:01

Today, my coworker and I have been sharing the same girlfriend for over a year. She doesn’t know that we each know about the other, but now it’s all over. She blocked both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 837

By Anonymous - 29/07/2009 15:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 144

You deserved it 4 236

By Mak1 - 05/12/2008 08:12 - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 564

You deserved it 4 648

By Nicole - 13/03/2010 19:16 - United States

Today, I discovered my mom had sold all of our summer clothes over the winter on eBay because we're short on cash. However, I am allowed to cut off the sleeves of all my long sleeve shirts and the legs off my jeans to stay cool in the summer. Nothing's more attractive than looking trashy, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 870

You deserved it 3 207

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 00:15 - Brazil - Jacare

Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "mom" while at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 985

You deserved it 2 854

By penguins - 13/11/2010 00:30 - United States

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 137

You deserved it 14 659

Halloween came early

By umm..WHAT?? - 22/10/2020 14:01 - United States - Pomona

Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I woke up in horror to see that my 34-year-old cousin, who was spending the night, was watching me sleep. Once he noticed that I was awake, he quietly left the room. I told my mom, who then told me not to tell anyone and pretend that it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 501

You deserved it 66

By Stung - 10/02/2012 14:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 438

You deserved it 29 058

By therealkathl - 05/03/2015 13:32 - Austria

Today, my boyfriend convinced a girl at the club to break up with her boyfriend and go home with him. She did. Now I'm single too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 192

You deserved it 3 408

Major annoyance

By E.B. - 27/06/2014 00:07 - United States - Grenada

Today, I'm a college student working at Dollar Tree. The signs hanging every 10 ft, plastered on every box, every wall, every corner, say "Everything's $1." Someone asked me how much something was, because there was no price tag. This happens multiple times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 894

You deserved it 4 853

By annoyed - 28/08/2012 17:50 - United States - North Las Vegas

Today, I finally picked up my new bank card after my old one was stolen. It took the bank six weeks and five separate orders to figure it out, on top of which they've charged me a rush fee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 160

You deserved it 1 895

By Anonymous - 30/06/2011 17:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to find that not only did the toothpaste I put on my pimple make it more noticable, but it made it worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 428

You deserved it 34 582

Report him

By Anonymous - 26/08/2021 06:01

Today, I was walking through the woods when a flasher popped out of the woods buck naked, smoking a cigarette. I ran away as fast as I could. I later went to an animal shelter, looking for a dog to go on walks with me. The flasher worked there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146

You deserved it 71

Fairweather friends

By Anonymous - 18/11/2021 08:01 - United States - Seattle

Today, after not hearing from my "bestie" for over a month, I realized she completely ghosts me when she finds a boyfriend, only calling me when they break up so she can complain, and hangs up before hearing a single word about my life. I have such low self-esteem, I don't even fight it. Who needs enemies? FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 221

By Anon - 29/09/2015 03:18 - Canada - Calgary

Today, at 8:00am, I walked into the kitchen and stubbed my toe. That's quite a normal occurrence, but this time, I stubbed it on my drunk, passed out, 53-year-old father's forehead. He's mad at me now and has cancelled my allowance. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 016

You deserved it 8 997

By dinosawerr - 05/05/2009 12:42 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike with my parents. They make me wear a helmet when I'm with them. Some college age kids drove past and yelled, "Nice helmet!" My mother then told me, "They like you!" I'm sixteen and my helmet is blue. With flowers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 590

You deserved it 9 017

By honeybunny90 - 28/12/2013 08:23 - United States - Richmond

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 427

You deserved it 5 861

By Anonymous - 20/12/2013 14:27 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my boss decided that a mug and a public 'thank you' were a sufficient substitute for a Christmas bonus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 387

You deserved it 3 873

By Anonymous - 08/07/2013 15:15 - Canada - Markham

Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 587

You deserved it 3 516

By mintyfresh - 29/10/2009 02:54 - United States

Today, I had to lie to my dentist about how often I brush my teeth. I honestly don't remember the last time I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 215

You deserved it 119 871

By dating a moron - 14/12/2014 17:30 - United States - Dearborn

Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to cum if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 394

You deserved it 5 046

That's nuts

By shbaxter - 16/03/2020 06:00

Today, I finally got my car back after it was in the auto shop for a week. On my way home, I started swerving all over the road. It turns out they didn't tighten the lug nuts on one of my wheels properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 490

You deserved it 90

By thompson773 - 20/04/2009 04:53 - United States

Today, I was sick on an airplane. As we were taking off, I felt like I was ready to hurl. I was sitting in the window seat and was unable to get up in time to go to the bathroom so I was forced to grab the nearest container to puke in. It was a glass of juice belonging to the woman next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 268

You deserved it 9 766

By maconda99 - 06/04/2009 03:14 - United States

Today, I was ringing up a lady and her daughter at the shoe store I work at. The background on my nametag is a rainbow, and when the daughter saw it, she asked her mother why it was so. Her mother looks at my nametag, then me, then turns to her daughter and says "Because he hates God honey". FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 870

You deserved it 5 158

By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, while on my run, I was attacked by my neighbor's new dog. It apparently didn't like me running past their house and broke free from its chain. I now have stitches and was just told that I'm probably being taken to court for the emotional distress I caused her and the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 649

You deserved it 2 778

By jessiethebestie - 05/05/2016 17:35 - United States

Today, I learned that for the next two months I'll get to train physicians on how to use the computer program that has made my job obsolete. I've known this program was coming for months, but I didn't know it would be taking my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 590

You deserved it 1 005

By Anonymous - 01/06/2011 18:06 - United States

Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 484

You deserved it 62 918

By Anonymous - 19/07/2017 07:00 - United States - Coplay

Today, my school brought in therapy dogs to help with stress. I was attacked by one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 604

You deserved it 477

By ipaid350dollarsfornothing - 15/03/2013 07:09 - Qatar

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 711

You deserved it 7 134

By embarrassed - 21/12/2009 00:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 282

You deserved it 29 329

We're all that one person

By Foreveralone - 15/10/2019 00:01

Today, my coworker was talking to me about how there's always that one person in a group of friends that everyone secretly dislikes and laughs at. I realized that that person is me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 525

You deserved it 150

By sleepy - 03/01/2011 02:58 - Norway

Today, after a two week holiday, I'm returning to work exhausted. I had nightmares about work every single night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 610

You deserved it 3 778

By furious parent - 03/07/2019 18:00

Today, I caught my mother telling my 11-year-old daughter that if she wants to be happy in life, she needs to start exercising now, because fat can creep up on you, and rich guys never marry fat girls with nice personalities. I was fuming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 980

You deserved it 299

Taste test

By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 12:28 - United States - Berkeley

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 534

You deserved it 6 579

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Top comments

CheekyRaccoon 27

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Thursday 28 April 2016 11:25

My precious, you no take my precious!

Jailermom 8

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Thursday 28 April 2016 13:27

Women/Men will take their rings off to wash their hands and put their ring in their pocket so they don't leave it on the sink. At least that is why I'd have mine in my pocket.

Atomic_Mushroom 14

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Thursday 28 April 2016 10:41

I thought Canadians were nice?

Delta_0DST 12

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Thursday 28 April 2016 16:27

Yeah we're nice. Less so at hockey games though.

taywuhsaurusrex 19

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Thursday 28 April 2016 17:56

Hockey games are serious business. They're the only place I've ever met an asshole Canadian.

ImagineCrazy 27

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Monday 2 May 2016 1:10

You haven't met my landlord

FunnnyGirrl 19

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Thursday 28 April 2016 11:02

I could just imagine how sus that would've seem like Hahahaah

Kitouran 30

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Thursday 28 April 2016 16:51

Your username is a lie.

BrownEyedGrrrl 4

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Thursday 28 April 2016 11:08

Was it your wedding ring? Just curious...because why was your wedding ring in your pocket in the first place?

Jailermom 8

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Thursday 28 April 2016 13:27

Women/Men will take their rings off to wash their hands and put their ring in their pocket so they don't leave it on the sink. At least that is why I'd have mine in my pocket.

BrownEyedGrrrl 4

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Thursday 28 April 2016 15:51

Oh ok..That makes sense :)

CheekyRaccoon 27

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Thursday 28 April 2016 11:25

My precious, you no take my precious!

SecundusSecunda 27

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Thursday 28 April 2016 15:52

CAST IT INTO THE FIRE!

moodyreallyrocks 27

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Thursday 28 April 2016 11:38

Hope you explained to everyone

ssnow_fml 20

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Thursday 28 April 2016 12:16

Sounds like a fun thing to explain to everyone around

heirofhope 38

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Thursday 28 April 2016 12:18

If you had to explain yourself, hopefully the girl who lost her ring was truthful and said that no, that ring was indeed yours. If not, that's when you just walk out, or walk away. I would never let someone take something that's ACTUALLY mine. I hope it cleared up quick.