Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. After... - FML

By Anonymous - 1/9/2009 15:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. After hundreds passive aggressive comments, my boyfriend and I went into the kitchen. I started complaining to him about how his parents were horrible and mean. Little did I know, his parents had followed us in and were right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16308

You deserved it

48463

Tweet

Share

Alexa, play "The Lovecats" by The Cure

Mr Sensitivity

Risky business

By elizio - 4/8/2015 11:59 - United States - Trenton

Today, I went to a high school reunion. An old friend I hadn't seen in a while suddenly came up to me and gasped, "Oh, thank God!" I was about to greet her and catch up when she added, "I'm not the only one who gained weight!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

26539

You deserved it

2894

Tweet

Share

By crap - 17/7/2020 05:00

Compassionate

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because apparently, I'm a drug addict who can't speak without slurring and stumbling with my words. I have a recurring speech impediments and the stammer is definitely real. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1584

You deserved it

81

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/8/2015 04:39 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, I realized I apologize too often as I said I was sorry to my boyfriend as he broke up with me. I apologized for being sad and making him feel bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26369

You deserved it

5687

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 23/7/2014 00:43 - Norway - Bergen

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44640

You deserved it

3935

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/6/2009 17:39 - United States

Today, I let my on-again, off-again boyfriend spend the night. For months we had been fighting about his new flame. After he convinced me that they are no longer an item, we had the most mind-blowing sex then we fell asleep. I awoke to him moaning her name. Followed by pelvic thrusts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25952

You deserved it

54131

Tweet

Share

By rained - 2/2/2009 05:44 - Hong Kong

Today, I drove an hour in a rainstorm to go see my boyfriend. Thirty minutes and a blow job later, he tells me he's going to meet some friends for dinner in half an hour then kicks me out of his house. It's still raining. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51286

You deserved it

7648

Tweet

Share

By madbirthdaymomma - 16/5/2014 03:15 - United States - Roswell

Today, I was hosting my daughter's thirteenth birthday party. One parent decided to stay at my house, the only parent to do so. The entire night she critiqued every decision I made, from the films to the cake. When it was time to open presents, her kid was the only one without one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52672

You deserved it

4325

Tweet

Share

By FML - 18/1/2012 19:41 - United States

Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is so low. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27666

You deserved it

4749

Tweet

Share

By wowawesome - 18/7/2019 16:00

Today, I got a second piercing in my ear. I needed help cleaning the back, so I asked my dad for help. I told him to careful, but right when I did, he tore the earring out with the cotton swab. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1443

You deserved it

325

Tweet

Share

By budapesthungary - 21/12/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, at my job as a cake decorator in a bakery, I put the finishing touches on the wedding cake of the man who left me at the altar 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49923

You deserved it

2784

Tweet

Share

By horny and alone - 4/11/2018 03:00

Today, I went home with my cute coworker. What started out as a little dirty talk and teasing ended with him admitting he was in a terrible emotional place and sending me home in an Uber so he could sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2593

You deserved it

370

Tweet

Share

By lambxox - 8/11/2010 09:04 - United States

Today, when I signed into Amazon, their top recommendation for me based on past purchases was "The Brave Little Toaster" on DVD. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10320

You deserved it

25746

Tweet

Share

By Boarder - 1/6/2009 12:32 - United States

Today, I was riding a longboard down a hill and I fell off. I was all scraped up so I made sure to clean my wounds and put bandages on them. Turns out I'm allergic to the glue on the bandages and I have itchy hives all over and around my open wounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50170

You deserved it

5388

Tweet

Share

By MickeyDManager - 3/8/2009 15:08 - United States

Today, I found out that the girl I tutored in high school in basic ENGLISH just received her PhD in Biophysics. I am now the manager of a McDonald's. I was also the Valedictorian of our graduating class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44558

You deserved it

39077

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/1/2020 20:00 - United States - Grand Rapids

Marking territory

Today, while on a picnic with my boyfriend, he got a little drunk. All of a sudden, he got up, pulled his pants down and pissed all over me. His excuse? "Just marking my territory." FML

I agree, your life sucks

2588

You deserved it

290

Tweet

Share

By Arizonagirl - 6/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed because hers is ,"reserved for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks

13137

You deserved it

817

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/10/2013 04:44 - Chile - Santiago

Today, I opened up to my parents about my depression. Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43889

You deserved it

3386

Tweet

Share

By harry - 4/12/2009 05:55 - Hong Kong

Today, I started growing hair on my upper lip. I'm finally becoming a man! Too bad I'm a 17 year old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42883

You deserved it

5186

Tweet

Share

By umbrella - 24/7/2009 11:39 - United States

Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47202

You deserved it

5950

Tweet

Share

By krisest1988 - 7/5/2016 21:34 - United States - Columbus

Today, my boyfriend came home from a two week vacation and told me I need to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12618

You deserved it

925

Tweet

Share

By peachesthepigeon - 19/1/2011 18:54 - United States

Today, at work, I helped out an employee who was having trouble. I even bought her a bottle of water. After the production manager decided to fire her on the spot, she went out in the parking lot and broke into several cars, including mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30041

You deserved it

2651

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/11/2019 23:45

Only tighty whities

Today, my brother aged 12 years old tried doing laundry for the first time and ruined all my clothes with bleach. When my dad drove him to Walmart to buy replacement clothes for me, he bought me tighty whities. We both have worn boxers our whole lives. My dad won't return them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1790

You deserved it

262

Tweet

Share

By DBR - 23/4/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58760

You deserved it

11414

Tweet

Share

By smileytheface - 6/12/2011 03:54 - United States

Today, my car got stolen. While I was standing ten feet away from it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28650

You deserved it

7155

Tweet

Share

By fallen - 15/5/2017 16:00 - United States - Merion Station

Today, I came into work feeling good about myself and my upcoming plans. I left before noon with a box of my belongings and uncertainty about my future, having been suddenly laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4833

You deserved it

278

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 08:22 - United States

Today, my friend asked me if I could watch her mother's cats while they go on vacation. I agreed since her house is on my way to work. When I talked to her mother, I found out she has 30-something cats. She reckons she lost count. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32517

You deserved it

3898

Tweet

Share

By Matthew - 16/6/2017 22:00 - United States - Largo

Today, after working at my summer job for 3 weeks, I was informed that I was too young to work there. I had contacted them 3 months prior and had given them my birthdate multiple times. I had also attended a special training in their corporate HQ, which I drove 7 hours both ways to get to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5037

You deserved it

297

Tweet

Share

By sickatwokr - 30/6/2015 20:26 - Australia

Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25788

You deserved it

1829

Tweet

Share

By PISSED - 7/11/2009 11:58 - Germany

Today, I finally got a date with one of the hottest girls in school, a perfect 10. Just before I go to pick her up to go to the movies, I call her to find out where she lives. She answers the phone only to hear my father yelling in the background, "stop talking to that whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks

41079

You deserved it

5132

Tweet

Share

By ok then - 31/10/2016 15:55

Today, my sister called my Native American friend a bigot for saying he had no problem with the name "Cleveland Indians". FML

I agree, your life sucks

9658

You deserved it

673

Tweet

Share

By Till We Pass Out - 3/10/2015 15:30 - United Kingdom - Halifax

Today, I was pushing so hard to take a number two that I ended up passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22570

You deserved it

5258

Tweet

Share

By AnnieThrax - 18/9/2012 04:35 - United States - Holdingford

Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24255

You deserved it

2070

Tweet

Share

By Cherie - 31/8/2009 21:18 - United States

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44652

You deserved it

10394

Tweet

Share

By UpAllNight - 9/2/2019 13:00 - Palestinian Territory

Today, I had to sleep at my in-laws' house. My in-laws' bedroom is directly above the one we’re sleeping in. For the last 20 minutes, all I can hear is the bed going, “Thud, thud, thud.” FML

I agree, your life sucks

1976

You deserved it

271

Tweet

Share

By Luisa - 9/1/2020 01:00

Lunch Special

Today, we have nearly no food in the house. My husband went shopping with the kids and returned with a sack of tomatoes. Time to make lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1953

You deserved it

217

Tweet

Share

By catlover - 13/12/2012 11:04 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11182

You deserved it

32188

Tweet

Share

By 8to10days - 5/8/2010 11:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I received a new debit card, so I cut the old one into pieces. I then picked up my remaining card, and realized I'd cut up the wrong one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11844

You deserved it

54755

Tweet

Share

By aproudmom - 16/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Glen Head

Nerf bullets

Today, after work I came home to find my sons trying to use my tampons as nerf bullets. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1658

You deserved it

271

Tweet

Share

By EliseV - 3/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Chino Hills

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47732

You deserved it

5943

Tweet

Share

By tmi4me - 26/5/2015 03:50 - United States

Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32209

You deserved it

2055

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By tubesocks_ | 0

#532449 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:05

Always wait until you leave to say things like that. And you probably should've said something more like "Wow, they're making me feel kinda bad in there. I don't think they like me, I feel as though they're trying to be mean."

By Intoxicunt | 5

#532453 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:05

...And then you all had an orgy. The end!

You're dating him, not his parents. Ok, so they're assholes. They obviously don't like you either. Move on.

COMMENTS

By instantfail | 0

#532441 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:04

That sucks.

Reply

Jaywin | 3

#532501 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:17

It truly does suck. I dated a girl with outright racist parents so I know how awkward it is meeting parents who intentionally try to make you uncomfortable.

Keep your head up, OP.

By efmivida | 0

#532443 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:04

that really sucks, but what were you supposed to do you know

Reply

YDIforbeingu | 0

#532998 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 1:59

YDI for not observing your surroundings

Reply

kingston52 | 0

#533163 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 2:55

she deserved it for insulting a guys parents not just in front of him, but also in front of them
she completely deserved it for being a bitch

Reply

f_this_s | 0

#533698 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 8:42

That's BS, the parents deserve it for being @ssholes and he deserves it for not standing up for her... she should dump them all!!!

By roarrx88 | 0

#532444 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:04

hahah that suckkss.

By BLooDYxNiGHTS | 0

#532446 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:04

...That shit sucks. I'm sorry.

By tubesocks_ | 0

#532449 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:05

Always wait until you leave to say things like that. And you probably should've said something more like "Wow, they're making me feel kinda bad in there. I don't think they like me, I feel as though they're trying to be mean."

Reply

Moemoemoe_fml | 0

#532569 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:46

Yeah, I second that too. There's always a way to turn it to make it better and less like you're the one being mean. ^^;

Reply

time4coffee | 3

#532608 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:54

You keep your mouth shut about his parents at least until you're out of the house, duh.

By Intoxicunt | 5

#532453 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:05

...And then you all had an orgy. The end!

You're dating him, not his parents. Ok, so they're assholes. They obviously don't like you either. Move on.

Reply

Intoxicunt | 5

#532506 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:19

Because he'll take all his pent-up aggression out on her during sex?
Eh, you make a good point, Plexico.

By XxMuSiKxMaNxX | 0

#532454 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:05

ouch.. that sucks.. yeah not such a great thing to say at their house..

By dark_sunlight | 0

#532456 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:06

daammn that sucks, but it is partly your fault for not waiting till you were out of the house or a safe distance xD

By viral_fml | 0

#532470 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:09

Hundreds... of?

Reply

ChickInGreenVans | 12

#4531150 - Wednesday 6 June 2012 13:26

hundreds of what??

Reply

pancakebunny | 19

#6634505 - Thursday 23 June 2016 4:58

We want to know!!!!

By lendmeyourteeth | 0

#532484 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:12

you didn't hear them follow you..?