Work: Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told...

By jobless1 - 05/07/2015 04:04

Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "lmao" out loud at his friend's joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 472

You deserved it 2 103

Work

Mother of the year

This Charming Man

Too Much Information

By Anonymous - 06/08/2019 22:00

Today, I found out that one of my subordinates, who is whiny, incompetent, undermining, the definition of passive-aggressive and stupid, was given a pay raise. She now makes more than me. My boss values a complete moron over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 616

You deserved it 251

By NotMacklemore - 13/02/2015 04:59 - Australia - Heidelberg

Today, I went to a thrift store and found heaps of clothes that I loved that fit me perfectly. Then I found a special distinctive dress. My dress. My dad had thrown away heaps of my clothes and I had to buy them all back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 499

You deserved it 3 083

Quality time

By Anonymous - 26/09/2019 18:00

Today, I'm finally visiting my long-distance boyfriend in his home country. He has a vomit-inducing migraine, and the traditional food he fed me triggered the worst kidney attack I've had in years. We're both lying on the couch writhing in pain. Yay, quality time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 530

You deserved it 130

By :( - 06/06/2013 23:37 - United States

Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 821

You deserved it 4 732

By MedChew - 30/10/2015 17:01 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, I dropped my phone between my legs and tried to catch it with my thighs. Instead, the phone fell through just as I crushed my own balls with my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 015

You deserved it 5 058

By laury - 09/05/2012 02:05 - Canada - Port Elgin

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 440

You deserved it 3 610

By Awkward Jeff - 26/05/2019 12:30

Today, I was home alone, so for fun I put red lipstick on. A few minutes later, my doorbell rang. I managed to get it off before I got the door. I saw my neighbor, and had a long conversation with him. After which, I came inside and realized I had lipstick all over my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 746

Cooked it up

By ruined - 15/04/2020 17:00

Today, I made the most perfect prime rib of my life at an amazing medium rare. I was so distracted dyeing eggs with my kids that I didn’t notice my mom cut the meat, then deciding to shove it back into the oven as it was “too pink” for her liking. She incinerated it beyond all recognition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 062

You deserved it 288

By Anonymous - 04/10/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, I went to my Homecoming dance. I had a great time until some fat girl kept trying to dance with my date, even though he politely asked her to stop. I decided to intervene. I found myself pinned to the floor by a fat girl crushing on my date, who was cheering her on as she tackled me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 655

You deserved it 8 751

Our house, was a very very very nice house

By Anonymous - 06/03/2020 18:00

Today, my house caught on fire. After it was put out, I realized the damage wasn't bad, mainly smoke damage. I went to my parents' for the night because my house smelled. While there, I received a phone call from my neighbor. Apparently, my house caught fire again. It's now a pile of ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 028

You deserved it 214

By killme - 07/03/2015 18:42 - United States - Broomfield

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 081

You deserved it 3 668

By recmonty - 17/05/2012 03:53 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, in a training class, I got to see a picture of what can happen when a man does not wear a safety harness correctly. For those of you who are unaware, male body parts are easily severed by loose straps. I cannot un-see that picture. It wasn't even a harness safety class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 620

You deserved it 2 073

By SouthPaw - 14/01/2015 21:48 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, I confronted my wife because I thought the many hours a day she spends at a local coffee shop were so she could smoke. Turns out she's cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 925

You deserved it 3 051

No Ragrets

By Rodolfo_el - 17/04/2021 10:59

Today, my wife made me sleep on the couch because I ate the last Magnum Ice Cream bar. Last week, she bitched me out for singing too loud in the shower. I strongly regret leaving my ex-girlfriend of 5 years for this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 1 723

Nostradamus

By mcdeez - 22/09/2009 02:06 - New Zealand

Today, I had to cover for a coworker who didn't turn up for work. He's always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again, so I said to my colleagues, "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 446

You deserved it 14 344

By Danou - 28/03/2011 13:51 - France

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 071

You deserved it 58 559

Thanks, "Mom"

By thafinest - 12/10/2009 23:32 - United States

Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 535

You deserved it 2 266

By ddeit - 19/08/2011 02:10 - New Zealand

Today, I was having a chat with a customer. He asked if I was married, to which I replied, "No." Before I could say anything else, he said, "Thought so. You look too happy to be married." I was about to mention that I just got engaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 307

You deserved it 3 658

By beavis - 23/05/2009 06:20 - United States

Today, my brother and I were standing at the baggage claim, waiting for our luggage to come out. We were commenting on all the bags that appeared, and when two large hiking packs came out I exclaimed "What kind of cunts go backpacking in New York?" The old couple standing next to us, apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 593

You deserved it 87 042

By facepalmshroomer - 07/02/2009 23:24 - United States

Today, I tried hallucinogenic mushrooms for the first time with my friend. Little did I know, they last for around 6 hours, and I had class at 3, when I had to give a presentation in front of 30 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 623

You deserved it 85 161

By That_Indian_Guy - 15/11/2014 13:25 - United States - Oviedo

Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 862

You deserved it 9 417

By Anonymous - 06/09/2016 18:54 - United States

Today, my boss threw a party for everyone in the office who has a birthday in September. Everyone got a cake with their names on it except me. My birthday is today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 017

You deserved it 826

By herpderp - 11/02/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 311

You deserved it 3 590

By Lee - 21/06/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, we spread my uncle's ashes at my grandparent's house. We were on a hill overlooking a sunset. It was a beautiful ceremony... until the winds changed direction. Our whole family wound up covered in my Uncle. He's still stuck in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 754

You deserved it 4 110

By Anonymous - 22/03/2015 14:59 - United States

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 771

You deserved it 4 103

By brokeandalone - 21/11/2011 02:05 - United States

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 292

You deserved it 3 997

Bad tipper, good shitter

By kmctl - 20/05/2015 18:40 - United States - San Francisco

Today, some guy walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered enough food to serve the entire National Guard of Texas. He thanked us by leaving a $0.50 tip and shitting on the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 939

You deserved it 1 986

By twinkie2 - 21/01/2011 08:35 - United States

Today, I treated myself to a cheeseburger. I left it on my coffee table while I grabbed a napkin from the kitchen. While I was gone my dog ate it. Then puked it up all over my carpet. Which I then had to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 954

You deserved it 13 826

By Eric - 27/02/2012 21:58 - United States

Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant to pick it up, I took out my keys and tried to unlock the front door. By the time I realized my mistake, everyone inside the restaurant had noticed and started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 284

You deserved it 24 534

By irishbubble - 04/06/2013 12:35 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 033

You deserved it 4 097

By Shitty genes, no two ways about it. - 27/04/2013 00:21 - Australia - Perth

Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home for his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 000

You deserved it 6 247

By FBI1236 - 07/07/2019 20:00 - Pakistan - Karachi

Today, I finally stood up for myself and beat the crap out of a bully at school, as my father told me to do. The kid and I were called to the principal's office, along with our parents. Inside my father's smirk faded when he saw that the kid's mom was his boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 199

You deserved it 190

By John Nani - 25/12/2011 17:06 - United States

Today, it's Christmas day. Normally, my family would be opening gifts right now. Instead, my mom is holding our gifts hostage until we clean the house. Apparently, "The presents aren't going anywhere." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 294

You deserved it 29 306

By m - 09/09/2009 20:16 - United States

Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one he responded with, "that's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 671

You deserved it 4 199

By showerpower - 21/01/2010 00:23 - United States

Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 479

You deserved it 34 810

By PuddlePirate - 07/09/2012 16:23 - United States - Mountain Iron

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 572

You deserved it 3 419

By Anonymous - 20/02/2010 02:21 - Australia

Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 592

You deserved it 4 212

By can't win - 13/01/2015 16:25 - Australia

Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 407

You deserved it 3 431

Tears for Fears

By Mike - 25/03/2021 00:30

Today, I realized that not only do I dream about sleeping or passing out, but that those are the best ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 64

By HWS - 15/04/2011 05:47 - Canada

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 228

You deserved it 7 763

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Top comments

DomiLove 26

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Sunday 5 July 2015 23:55

You're too good for them op

Steve97 32

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Sunday 5 July 2015 23:58

I wouldn't want to work for a guy like that you dodged a bullet OP

DomiLove 26

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Sunday 5 July 2015 23:55

You're too good for them op

Ms_ValS 27

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Monday 6 July 2015 4:47

The boss's son anyone?

dontlookman 20

Sunday 5 July 2015 23:56

Hopefully you'll find a job at a place where they don't hire people who say "lmao" out loud. Good luck op

random2212 16

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Sunday 5 July 2015 23:56

It's ok, you're better than them. Don't let it bother you

daddysgirl243 21

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Sunday 5 July 2015 23:57

you're better off not working there

Pizzapiggy1 18

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Sunday 5 July 2015 23:58

Maybe it is better that you didn't get the job so that you wouldn't become like that interviewer

Steve97 32

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Sunday 5 July 2015 23:58

I wouldn't want to work for a guy like that you dodged a bullet OP

Devtyro 14

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Sunday 5 July 2015 23:58

If its somewhere you'd really wanna work, try talking to a manager or HR. Possible you can get another interview since your current interviewer sounds unprofessional. If not, move on.

saifnaqvi11 21

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Monday 6 July 2015 0:00

This FML depends on what company it is. If it's some small company owned by the interviewer then that would be an FYL. But if it's something like Apple or Google or some big company then the interviewer surely doesn't represent the whole company.